Childhood spanking is linked to adverse physical, psychological, and behavioral outcomes in adolescence

[equipoise]

Well that's the problem then , your parents were more on the side of abuse when people talk about spanking kids we mean when a kid Is naughty like you have spoke to them shouted at them taken away things and they still are being a little ***t so you give them a little smack . Not just random smacks.

this

 

[opethfeldt]

I am sorry it had such a huge impact on you. I do not mean you are any less of a man for feeling bad about it. I was merely trying to say how its such a minor part of MY upbringing that I would gladly go back and get thousand more slaps than live in this serotonin filled, capitalistic abusive, PUFA ridden, learned helplesness world

You're totally fine. I know you're just sharing your experience and I'm glad that you were able to extract something positive from the experience. I just wanted to point out that we are all different in how we process things. I'd definitely have liked to have had a different childhood but I also believe we're given these situations for a reason.

 

[hei]

Well, my parents were extremely overbearing and employed spanking quite often as a child, also my father continued to use it as a threat/"joke" well into my 20s although by then they had long since switched to guilt trips and tantrums for control. Pretty sure I was develpmentally delayed in some respects and maybe they couldn't/didn't want to deal with it. Can't say it helped me become more of a man or something like that, more like learning that nothing I do is ever right and that just passively existing is the safest course of action. Can't really separate out the effect of the spanking so that refers to the totality of their treatment. But hey, at least they always made sure that I knew that whatever they were doing was because they loved me and if I didn't like it that was because I was an ungrateful little ***t, so who can argue with that.

 

[Jing]

Well, my parents were extremely overbearing and employed spanking quite often as a child, also my father continued to use it as a threat/"joke" well into my 20s although by then they had long since switched to guilt trips and tantrums for control. Pretty sure I was develpmentally delayed in some respects and maybe they couldn't/didn't want to deal with it. Can't say it helped me become more of a man or something like that, more like learning that nothing I do is ever right and that just passively existing is the safest course of action. Can't really separate out the effect of the spanking so that refers to the totality of their treatment. But hey, at least they always made sure that I knew that whatever they were doing was because they loved me and if I didn't like it that was because I was an ungrateful little ***t, so who can argue with that.

Was it only when you was bad?

 

[Homo Consumericus]

The only times violence against a child may be warranted is to prevent the child from harming others or his/herself, and even these extreme situations should be handled without violence whenever possible. Outside of these situations, violence against their child is a clear admission from the parent that they have lost control of the situation and are in need of parenting lessons in order to appropriately deal with comparable situations in future.

Almost every time a parent resorts to violence against their child they have simply lost patience or are too unintelligent to solve the problem without violence. How embarrassing must it be to go through life as a parent who once upon a time resorted to violence with their own flesh and blood unnecessarily!

 

[Jing]

The only times violence against a child may be warranted is to prevent the child from harming others or his/herself, and even these extreme situations should be handled without violence whenever possible. Outside of these situations, violence against their child is a clear admission from the parent that they have lost control of the situation and are in need of parenting lessons in order to appropriately deal with comparable situations in future.

Almost every time a parent resorts to violence against their child they have simply lost patience or are too unintelligent to solve the problem without violence. How embarrassing must it be to go through life as a parent who once upon a time resorted to violence with their own flesh and blood unnecessarily!

What would your solution be to stop a child be naughty?

 

[Homo Consumericus]

What would your solution be to stop a child be naughty?

Lol, how would you stop someone else's child who is at that moment under your care from being naughty?

If this is a serious question, and you are a parent of underage humans, I recommend a [refresher] course in non-violent parenting.

 

[Jing]

Lol, how would you stop someone else's child who is at that moment under your care from being naughty?

If this is a serious question, and you are a parent of underage humans, I recommend a [refresher] course in non-violent parenting.

I'm just asking you what you would do to stop a child being naughty? Do you not have any solutions? I want to learn how you would stop a child being naughty? I do have kids and I don't hit them but sometimes Im not going to lie I think to my self sometimes they might need a smack but I never do.

 

[Homo Consumericus]

I'm just asking you what you would do to stop a child being naughty? Do you not have any solutions? I want to learn how you would stop a child being naughty? I do have kids and I don't hit them but sometimes Im not going to lie I think to my self sometimes they might need a smack but I never do.

Ah, ok, was genuine; my bad.

Take the child aside, place your hands on either side of them and bring your face closer to theirs, alter your expression and your voice, and explain what is unacceptable as well as what is the desired behavior.

I am 6'4, 240lbs. When is it going to be applicable for me to hit someone much smaller and weaker than me? Probably not often.

How do I succeed in teaching kids not to resort to violence if I resort to violence?

 

[Jing]

Ah, ok, was genuine; my bad.

Take the child aside, place your hands on either side of them and bring your face closer to theirs, alter your expression and your voice, and explain what is unacceptable as well as what is the desired behavior.

I am 6'4, 240lbs. When is it going to be applicable for me to hit someone much smaller and weaker than me? Probably not often.

How do I succeed in teaching kids not to resort to violence if I resort to violence?

And what if that doesn't work?

And when I say a smack I never mean exactly hard just a little smack.

 

[Homo Consumericus]

And what if that doesn't work?

And when I say a smack I never mean exactly hard just a little smack.

Change the activity and/or environment.

Yeah, of course I understand. Not all corrective taps are acts of violence, but spankings as conventionally defined are (strikes with palm or held implement).

 

[Jing]

Change the activity and/or environment.

Yeah, of course I understand. Not all corrective taps are acts of violence, but spankings as conventionally defined are (strikes with palm or held implement).

And if that doesn't work? Or the environment can't be changed?

 

[Homo Consumericus]

And if that doesn't work? Or the environment can't be changed?

I could ask you, what if spanking doesn't work?

 

[Jing]

I could ask you, what if spanking doesn't work?

I don't know but from people who I know who were spanked as kids or people I know who smack their kids now it's has always worked no kid wants to get smacked so they don't do the naughty thing anymore. So I ask what do you do if your way doesn't work?

 

[Homo Consumericus]

Your mind seems to be made up.

Dr. Peat wrote in one of his articles that extreme behavioral episodes from a young boy ended after a riboflavin supplement. Are you sure you have explored all the potential solutions before going the corporal punishment route?

Rosacea, inflammation, and aging: The inefficiency of stress

The increased incidence of rosacea after the age of 30, and the fact that it occurs most commonly in the areas that are most exposed to sunlight (bald men sometimes develop it on the top of the head), indicate that aging and irritation are essential causes.

raypeat.com

 

[Jing]

Your mind seems to be made up.

Dr. Peat wrote in one of his articles that extreme behavioral episodes from a young boy ended after a riboflavin supplement. Are you sure you have explored all the potential solutions before going the corporal punishment route?

Rosacea, inflammation, and aging: The inefficiency of stress

The increased incidence of rosacea after the age of 30, and the fact that it occurs most commonly in the areas that are most exposed to sunlight (bald men sometimes develop it on the top of the head), indicate that aging and irritation are essential causes.

raypeat.com

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I see your point but what if all other things have been tried with no results? I actually sometimes wish I was smacked as a kid when I did bad things perhaps I would of stopped and achieved more things doubt I would of bunked school all the time if I had the fear of getting smacked. Doubt I would of stayed up all night playing Xbox if I had the fear of getting smacked.

 

[LucyL]

How else would you do a study on spanking? I doubt a double-blind placebo-controlled study is possible lol.

That's why psychology isn't even science.

 

[LucyL]

Honestly i believe that a lack of spanking is way more harmful

It's fairly easy to spot the kids with SDD (spanking deficiency disorder).

 

[LucyL]

Are you expecting that breaking out the "spanked once or twice" group would nullify the difference between the never spankeds and the oft-spankeds? As for asking them to self-report, how would you measure it?

Spankings used effectively are efficient. A child who was spanked efficiently up to the age of about 5 or 6 is unlikely to have anywhere near an accurate count by the time he is a teenager. He might remember once or twice, but those times, done young, with positive outcomes are by far the most effective and the best use of spanking, and yet in this study they will be categorized as "NONE" which of course if being designed to push legislation that will severely penalize those most effective uses of spankings.

 

[LucyL]

Ah, ok, was genuine; my bad.

Take the child aside, place your hands on either side of them and bring your face closer to theirs, alter your expression and your voice, and explain what is unacceptable as well as what is the desired behavior.

I am 6'4, 240lbs. When is it going to be applicable for me to hit someone much smaller and weaker than me? Probably not often.

How do I succeed in teaching kids not to resort to violence if I resort to violence?

Anything you do to a child is backed up with violence. If, for example, you take his toys away, are you going to use your significant size and strength to then physically prevent that much smaller person from regaining them? What about if you send him to his room for a time out? Won't you be enforcing him staying in that room by the sheer advantage you have in size and strength? How exactly are you forcing him to keep his face so close to yours? No matter what you do, you are going to be teaching him that the bigger, older person gets his way. That's why a proper spanking, explained to the child, is better. Yes, it is reliant on your physical force, but it is not manipulative or passive. It is direct and clear.