French.cat
Member
(REPOST FROM LATE AUGUST)
HI everybody.
I'm a French girl (31 Y.O) so pardon my english. To begin with, I would say that I felt desperate, severely depressed, anxious and hopeless for the most part of my life.
I wasn't able to function well as a kid because I didn't focus at all on my lessons. I lived with a hateful mother and an absent father, which are a logical explanation to my detrimental mental health. I had anorexia at 13 for two years, and bulimia nervosa from age 20 to 28. Later on, in 2015, I've been diagnosed with ADHD and Anxiety. Most of the time, I don't sleep more than 3/4 Hours, and sometimes not at all (except when I eat a lot of carbohydrates, what I've learn thanks to my research on metabolism... I found Ray Peat interview on YouTube and started being passionate with his work). I've severe insomnia since childhood.
Guys, I'm crying in my computer cause... I just want to have a LIFE.
To smile, to digest well, to sleep, to be willing to do something with me instead of suicidal thoughts... and crying all day.
I don't remember anything, I can't focus even while in the cinema, or reading a book. It's like brain fog all the time and anxiety for anything. I also have severe cervical pains due to (my guess) anxiety and lake of physical activity. I tried to work on it though. For the past month, and after having read HEAL YOUR METABOLISM from Kate Deering, I have tried "Ray Peat diet" that Is to say, for me, starch, fruits, meat and liver, orange juice and milk, with some grains on it (from the best source, even if it's not "great" because to all the antinutrients, I know). Honestly, my mood felt really much better. I had less anxiety and neck pain, and felt asleep one hour after my large dinner. The thing is.... I think I have food intolerances, because I had massive crying crisis later on. Or maybe that's just too much carbs for me, and I can't manage to balance my blood sugar properly. I may have pre-diabetes, at least I have all the symptoms. After eating a meal, I generally have blurred vision and fatigue, lake of focus (more than when fasting) and my neck pain worsen. Gluten, dairy or starch intolerances are some ideas....
But I don't know. I'm lost with food.
Also, something that stroke me while adding more carb to my diet, is that I was waking up EXHAUSTED at the morning, with even more neck pain. But that tend to go away when I eat fruits and have milk with it. Well, stress and anxiety are massive reasons for me, and I think bananas and milk calm down my mental breakdown thanks to tryptophan, among other reasons.
KETO was the only thing that ever cured my depression for a month, but as soon as I got fat-adapted I become obsessed with not getting out of ketosis and finally been kicked out of ketosis. I had a serving of potatoes in a restaurant and totally forgot there were actually carbs now I can't get back on track. I tried 5 times in 5 years and I'm exhausted...
Today is my second day of rest cause my 6 month contract is over. I plan to start my own entreprise (I've build up a programme to get rid of bulimia), but, honestly, mu curent "state" of lethargy and weeps makes my freaking out.
Guys, ANY dietary advice or loving support would be so nice
If someone cured his/her depression, just PLEASE, tell me where to start. I'm 31 years and I want to live, it's time to live !!!
Thanks
UPDATE
Well, I'm still in depression, currently taking SSRI's (50 mg of Sertraline) and I don't know what to do to heal my gut. Force Feeding was good at first (eating more "peaty") but I don't have enough money to eat a proper diet now. So I dive into pasta, rice, greek yoghourt and apple because they are cheap.
What are your thoughts about my situation ? @Jennifer I'm back on the forum because I'm desperate to find peace and happiness someday.
I am starting therapy again despite my horrible financial situation because... I just need it.
I think I've had dissociation for the most part of my life, that may be the reason of my poor memory. I am kinda always disconnected.
Only vomiting and sleepless night make me feel alive. What is the link between them ? Cortisol ?
I really need support.
HI everybody.
I'm a French girl (31 Y.O) so pardon my english. To begin with, I would say that I felt desperate, severely depressed, anxious and hopeless for the most part of my life.
I wasn't able to function well as a kid because I didn't focus at all on my lessons. I lived with a hateful mother and an absent father, which are a logical explanation to my detrimental mental health. I had anorexia at 13 for two years, and bulimia nervosa from age 20 to 28. Later on, in 2015, I've been diagnosed with ADHD and Anxiety. Most of the time, I don't sleep more than 3/4 Hours, and sometimes not at all (except when I eat a lot of carbohydrates, what I've learn thanks to my research on metabolism... I found Ray Peat interview on YouTube and started being passionate with his work). I've severe insomnia since childhood.
Guys, I'm crying in my computer cause... I just want to have a LIFE.
To smile, to digest well, to sleep, to be willing to do something with me instead of suicidal thoughts... and crying all day.
I don't remember anything, I can't focus even while in the cinema, or reading a book. It's like brain fog all the time and anxiety for anything. I also have severe cervical pains due to (my guess) anxiety and lake of physical activity. I tried to work on it though. For the past month, and after having read HEAL YOUR METABOLISM from Kate Deering, I have tried "Ray Peat diet" that Is to say, for me, starch, fruits, meat and liver, orange juice and milk, with some grains on it (from the best source, even if it's not "great" because to all the antinutrients, I know). Honestly, my mood felt really much better. I had less anxiety and neck pain, and felt asleep one hour after my large dinner. The thing is.... I think I have food intolerances, because I had massive crying crisis later on. Or maybe that's just too much carbs for me, and I can't manage to balance my blood sugar properly. I may have pre-diabetes, at least I have all the symptoms. After eating a meal, I generally have blurred vision and fatigue, lake of focus (more than when fasting) and my neck pain worsen. Gluten, dairy or starch intolerances are some ideas....
But I don't know. I'm lost with food.
Also, something that stroke me while adding more carb to my diet, is that I was waking up EXHAUSTED at the morning, with even more neck pain. But that tend to go away when I eat fruits and have milk with it. Well, stress and anxiety are massive reasons for me, and I think bananas and milk calm down my mental breakdown thanks to tryptophan, among other reasons.
KETO was the only thing that ever cured my depression for a month, but as soon as I got fat-adapted I become obsessed with not getting out of ketosis and finally been kicked out of ketosis. I had a serving of potatoes in a restaurant and totally forgot there were actually carbs now I can't get back on track. I tried 5 times in 5 years and I'm exhausted...
Today is my second day of rest cause my 6 month contract is over. I plan to start my own entreprise (I've build up a programme to get rid of bulimia), but, honestly, mu curent "state" of lethargy and weeps makes my freaking out.
Guys, ANY dietary advice or loving support would be so nice
If someone cured his/her depression, just PLEASE, tell me where to start. I'm 31 years and I want to live, it's time to live !!!
Thanks
UPDATE
Well, I'm still in depression, currently taking SSRI's (50 mg of Sertraline) and I don't know what to do to heal my gut. Force Feeding was good at first (eating more "peaty") but I don't have enough money to eat a proper diet now. So I dive into pasta, rice, greek yoghourt and apple because they are cheap.
What are your thoughts about my situation ? @Jennifer I'm back on the forum because I'm desperate to find peace and happiness someday.
I am starting therapy again despite my horrible financial situation because... I just need it.
I think I've had dissociation for the most part of my life, that may be the reason of my poor memory. I am kinda always disconnected.
Only vomiting and sleepless night make me feel alive. What is the link between them ? Cortisol ?
I really need support.