Need Some Advice About Stress And My Job

[dq139]

hey everybody,

So my job is causing me a incredible amount of stress over the past year and a half. during this time Ive experienced depression, hair loss, facial aging, mussle loss, panic attacks, heart palpitations, extreme anxiety ect…
The people at my job are negative & toxic to be around and I feel like everyday im tense, not at ease, and lucky I made it through another day there without messing up or having a panic attack...The job has great benefits and a pension though, and my parents eventhough they know im suffering don't want me to quit....I tried SSRI Medication (Lexapro) and it almost made me have a breakdown. so that's not an option anymore..I am ready at the end of the year to just quit the job and take my chances finding another job while living off of savings at this point if it will save my life & health....I want to start my own business of somekind and people keep telling me to use this job as a stepping stone until I find something else, but they don't understand that I wont make it that long...I have tried different Ray peat tactics for stress like more caffeine with more calories, methylene blue, ashwagandha, meditation ect. but nothing seems to help too much once I go back to that job I fall back into extreme stress.

My question is what would you guys do in my situation?. because Im talking with a therapist but she isn't very insightful even though shes trying her best....Would you suck up the pain and keep doing yourself damage just to have financial security or just save your health and jump into the unknown hoping it will turn out alright??

This is all very stressfull for me and im almost loosing will to live...Im leaning towards just diving in and quiting but im very uncertion and afraid.

I see how Danny Roddy lives and would love to have his lifestyle, but I don't know how he affords to live comfortably to be honest haha.

anyway tell me what u think. Thanks for the help I appreciate the input!

 

[Runenight201]

If you have savings and are confident you can find a job after quitting, I’d prioritize your health over everything else.

I was unemployed for a cumulative time of about 6 months while fixing my health, and it’s the best thing I could have done. I was able to focus 100% on making myself better and I was also able to seriously reflect about how I’d like to live my life.

 

[dq139]

If you have savings and are confident you can find a job after quitting, I’d prioritize your health over everything else.

I was unemployed for a cumulative time of about 6 months while fixing my health, and it’s the best thing I could have done. I was able to focus 100% on making myself better and I was also able to seriously reflect about how I’d like to live my life.

Im not confident I can get as good of a job right away if I leave now....but I agree with you that I can fix my mental state and focus on getting my own business that would suit me better. Cortisol is definitely a dangerous thing that should be avoided as much as possible. I understand that now more than ever.

 

[Constatine]

I would give it a little more time and see if you can find anything that works. If you absolutely cannot manage then obviously quit though I'm sure being jobless is going to invoke it's own unique stresses. Doesn't sound too fancy but have you tried matcha green tea? It certainly helps with stressful situations for myself. Chamomile, lemon balm, and valerian root are some gaba enhancing herbs with valerian being the most potent, though I don't think these will help much in your situation. The combination of meadowsweet (basically safer aspirin) and caffeine can reduce brain serotonin and stimulate atp production resulting in improved mood, a reduction in "learned helplessness" type sttesses, and a nootropic effect. Daily short freezing cold showers can increase mental stress tolerance and improve mood (don't overdo it or it will tax your system too much). Proper exercise is an obvious one but is often an overlooked factor and can make a difference even in very stressful situations. Though too much exercise can worsen stress. Increasing light exposure can have a huge effect on mood and stress tolerance, if your work situation allows it a light therapy lamp 10000 lux can make a big difference.

 

[Lolinaa]

Personally I would quit or if possible take at least 2 weeks break. No amount of money would make me stay somewhere that I am that unhappy.
I went through that and I know how it feels. At the same time I don’t know the job market and opportunities where you live so you are the only one who really know by balancing the pro and cons. I definitely would put my health above everything else.

 

[Redshine]

My advice... You only life once.

In a way I have the same thing dont get me wrong Im not tjay confident to walk up to my boss and say goodbye. But at the moment im the only 1 working (1 baby and 1 boyfriend) and im not in the position to quit. But in the back of my head I know this is not "the" job for me. In the meanwhile im going to work in a good mood and see what the day will bring for me. When I had my weeks off after pregnancy I took all the time for myseld and didnt go to work once. The week before I had to start I went to a info night and noticed I changed, maybe it also has to do with my baby but it wasnt as importanted as it was to be.

Arent there any possibilities to look for another job? You write that you want to start something for you own cant you start looking and foccusing on that . But youre health is number 1,you don't want to be 80y and looking back that you didnt enjoy time enough.

 

[Herbie]

Having no income is incredibly stressful.

starting a business out of love with no income is even more stressful

 

[biffbelvin]

What industry / occupation do you work in?

 

[Redshine]

Of course I dont know where are you from. En what will happen is you quit, I would not quit before I would find another job let that be clear. But you need to get something positive on your mind en focus on that in life and in work. But are there not other colleaguess who are nice and are having the same thing. If your job is stressful your problaby not the only one who is having this level of stress. Think you will be surprised why people acting the way they do sometimes.

 

[Pulstar]

Is it possible for you to take some sort of stress leave / unpaid leave / vacation? Stress leave option was possible on my previous job. Can you change a department / team / colleagues? There are lots of information on this forum how to reduce serotonin, reduce endotoxin overload, boost oxidative metabolism etc etc.

Do some forum searches on the following:

Cyproheptadine
B6 (p5p)
Cortisol, serotonin and histamine reduction
Bag breathing
B1
B2
B3
Lactic acid
Calcium
Aspirin
Baking Soda
Lysine
Coconut oil
Allopregnenolone
Taurine

 

[Bart1]

Having no income is incredibly stressful.

starting a business out of love with no income is even more stressful

This. You cannot just runaway from stress, because a large part of the equation is yourself. I have come to realize this myself. It's how you cope with life. Of course if the environment is toxic I would try to search for another job, but not quitting this job first. But the office life is not healthy at all. All the guys here have fat belly's, balt, grey etc. That's why I'm investing seriously for a couple of years and try to become financially independant as quickly as possible; that gives me some sort of hope to continue.

 

[Teres]

I've seen many optimists who think they'll finally start living when they retire. The non-5x8 income. Heaven. Grey haired with their courage and vigor sqeezed out by the life, but on the other hand they have a pension now, which - as many of them assume - will give them their life back to live it carefree.
No pension will give their time back. No pension will give them back the drive and the vigor to conquer. No pension will give them back the health they've already lost. No pension will give them back the carefree feeling that the future is way, way ahead, a huge window opened for bold aspirations and dreams to pass through, which require bravery, a bright spark and assertivenes to be expressed in order to be accomplished.

How old are you? Have you created a family? Do you have children? These are important things to consider.
I do belive all the time is the time. But if - for example - one is under 30, with no children, one could affort to take a lot of risks. And should. If you have worked this job for decades, and you have children, then you'll have to be more careful with taking radical decisions.
See, few jobs are worth a human life.

I am a stranger and I am not telling you what to do. And even if I did, you shouldn't listen to me. But I'm telling you what I think and how I see the things. What somebody else would do in your situation does not matter, because you and only you will bear the consequences or enjoy the fruits of your decisions, which only you will be responsible for. Not someboy else..who is not in your situation.

Put yourself in a hundred years old man's shoes. Let's say you're lucky. Be a hundred years old man for a minute. Really.
Ask yourself, the hundred years old man - Which are the things I truly regret for not having done?

 

[Runenight201]

The adage work a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life I think is very true. If you are young, prioritizing what you love AND being realistic and honest about the type of lifestyle you will be able to live with that means of income is by far the best way to go about things.

Unless someone happens to be one of the privileged few, who had their means of success laid out for them by responsible adults while they were children, we all have to compromise on the above in some manner (whether through taking a job we don't love but will make more money, or making less money but doing something much more enjoyable).

The pros is that with more money, better food and more expensive stress-relieving hobbies can be afforded, which will provide for more energy and a higher drive to push through a sacrificial stint to eventually reach a panacea of generating income in a completely stress free manner.

 

[lampofred]

I personally would not quit a job unless I had another offer already in my hands or at least a few months of a business generating enough profit for me live comfortably. But I would be spending all of my free time building up that business or finding that other job so that I could get away from the toxic situation as soon as possible.

This is a relatively "safe" and conservative way to do it though. A riskier, "cooler" way to do it might be to say that unless you actually quit a job and feel true fear, you won't have the pressure to work hard enough to build a successful business and that doing two things at once would lead to doing both in a mediocre way as opposed to going all-in on just one thing, which is when great things happen.

It depends on your personality type to choose which route is most appropriate for you, but from personal experience, if you have any doubts about whether you should go with route 1 vs route 2 and need to ask others to help you decide, route 1 is very likely the more appropriate option.

EDIT: I don't know if the tone of that might've come across as aggressive in some way...? I don't mean it like that though

 

[dq139]

I've seen many optimists who think they'll finally start living when they retire. The non-5x8 income. Heaven. Grey haired with their courage and vigor sqeezed out by the life, but on the other hand they have a pension now, which - as many of them assume - will give them their life back to live it carefree.
No pension will give their time back. No pension will give them back the drive and the vigor to conquer. No pension will give them back the health they've already lost. No pension will give them back the carefree feeling that the future is way, way ahead, a huge window opened for bold aspirations and dreams to pass through, which require bravery, a bright spark and assertivenes to be expressed in order to be accomplished.

How old are you? Have you created a family? Do you have children? These are important things to consider.
I do belive all the time is the time. But if - for example - one is under 30, with no children, one could affort to take a lot of risks. And should. If you have worked this job for decades, and you have children, then you'll have to be more careful with taking radical decisions.
See, few jobs are worth a human life.

I am a stranger and I am not telling you what to do. And even if I did, you shouldn't listen to me. But I'm telling you what I think and how I see the things. What somebody else would do in your situation does not matter, because you and only you will bear the consequences or enjoy the fruits of your decisions, which only you will be responsible for. Not someboy else..who is not in your situation.

Put yourself in a hundred years old man's shoes. Let's say you're lucky. Be a hundred years old man for a minute. Really.
Ask yourself, the hundred years old man - Which are the things I truly regret for not having done?

I'm 27 years old, and no I don't have a wife or children yet.. and I do agree with you I don't feel like you should sacrifice your life and happiness just to make a living

 

[Jem Oz]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation @dq139. Have come to realise I hate my current job and wondering whether I should cut and run. On paper this job ticked all the boxes: easy work, flexible hours, decent pay, in a lovely part of the city. Something I could do just to pay the bills while I worked on creative pursuits in my studio that may never bring me a dime, but which I love doing.

But after being here for a year now, I have come to realise this is a highly toxic, stressful workplace, full of low-level bullies and a degree of bureaucracy few would believe. I also cop a fair amount of ranting and rage from the public on a daily basis, which I laugh off, but suspect affects me more than I realise. This is not a place for happy souls, free thinkers, people with a genuine zest for life and spark in their souls. In fact it actively works against those things, and it has done a number on me. I haven't drunk the Koolaid, but this job has certainly worn me down, and SO much of my energy seems to go into defending my soul against its vagaries.

So I feel you my friend. Big time. The only difference is, I have somewhat of a safety net in the form of a passive income from a self-publishing venture I set up years ago. I stopped working on it a long time ago, but it ticks along at a reliable pace, and I could technically survive on that income alone, plus some savings, if I lived a super frugal existence. So at the moment I'm wondering if I should back myself, take the risk, walk away from this ridiculous sham of a 'job', live on the cheap, get back to feeling good about life, and either build up the publishing to something bigger, or find some new form of self-employment. It might sound like a no brainer, but there are no guarantees with the self pub income, plus I do some fun things in my spare time that are pretty expensive and I'd have to stop them for a time.

Anyway, good luck with your current situation. There's a lot to be said for tightening the purse strings and taking stock of your spending. It's amazing how much you can save.

 

[dq139]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation @dq139. Have come to realise I hate my current job and wondering whether I should cut and run. On paper this job ticked all the boxes: easy work, flexible hours, decent pay, in a lovely part of the city. Something I could do just to pay the bills while I worked on creative pursuits in my studio that may never bring me a dime, but which I love doing.

But after being here for a year now, I have come to realise this is a highly toxic, stressful workplace, full of low-level bullies and a degree of bureaucracy few would believe. I also cop a fair amount of ranting and rage from the public on a daily basis, which I laugh off, but suspect affects me more than I realise. This is not a place for happy souls, free thinkers, people with a genuine zest for life and spark in their souls. In fact it actively works against those things, and it has done a number on me. I haven't drunk the Koolaid, but this job has certainly worn me down, and SO much of my energy seems to go into defending my soul against its vagaries.

So I feel you my friend. Big time. The only difference is, I have somewhat of a safety net in the form of a passive income from a self-publishing venture I set up years ago. I stopped working on it a long time ago, but it ticks along at a reliable pace, and I could technically survive on that income alone, plus some savings, if I lived a super frugal existence. So at the moment I'm wondering if I should back myself, take the risk, walk away from this ridiculous sham of a 'job', live on the cheap, get back to feeling good about life, and either build up the publishing to something bigger, or find some new form of self-employment. It might sound like a no brainer, but there are no guarantees with the self pub income, plus I do some fun things in my spare time that are pretty expensive and I'd have to stop them for a time.

Anyway, good luck with your current situation. There's a lot to be said for tightening the purse strings and taking stock of your spending. It's amazing how much you can save.

If I were you and I had a safety net I'm income I would just quit. I finally took the dive and quit last weak and I already feel that much better, better mood more energy Etc. Now I have to worry about income but in my opinion it's worth it. Forcing yourself to work in a job you hate will destroy your health.

 

[Makrosky]

My question is what would you guys do in my situation?. because Im talking with a therapist but she isn't very insightful even though shes trying her best....Would you suck up the pain and keep doing yourself damage just to have financial security or just save your health and jump into the unknown hoping it will turn out alright??

Have been there. I know exactly what you are talking about.

My serious advice : QUIT ASAP. You can recover financially. You can not recover health if you damage it badly. I knew it but I still was in fear of money income. Worst thing I ever did in my life. Not trusting myself and living on credit of my health. Time is NOW. QUIT.

I also tried everything supplement wise, psychotherapy, everything. But nothing worked. There was the option to take SSRIs which I know would have worked but I don't think I have to explain I didn't go that poisonous route, right?

So the ONLY thing that worked for me in that scenario was tianeptine. I took it for a while while I gathered enough strength to quit the job. Best thing I ever did. I never regretted that decision neither for 1 second.

 

[Makrosky]

And regarding other people saying having no money is also very stressful. Yes, it is true. But nobody says you have to quit the job and go homeless. Find ANYOTHER job that is not stressful. Anything is better than destroying your health. Then, since your learned helplessness and stress levels go down, you have time and drive to go for yet another job.

 

[Runenight201]

And regarding other people saying having no money is also very stressful. Yes, it is true. But nobody says you have to quit the job and go homeless. Find ANYOTHER job that is not stressful. Anything is better than destroying your health. Then, since your learned helplessness and stress levels go down, you have time and drive to go for yet another job.

I agree with this sentiment. While it certainly depends on how expensive of a lifestyle one currently has and is willing to drop to, getting a much lower paying job that is much less stressful can be beneficial in two ways:

1) It allows for income to continue to stream in, which can pay for at least food and gas. This buys more time to recover health.

2) If it is a job with low stress and good people, it can serve to recover health, since surrounding yourself in a good environment is just as important as diet.