Hi, this is going to be difficult to explain so bear with me. Don't even know if this is the right place but I need serious advice.
I'm 26 and i've had anhedonia for 7 years after taking SSRIs from 15-20. In 2015 I was put on 250mg amitriptyline and I've not been the same since .I have read the stuff about anticholinergics and dementia which is obviously very scary. A combination of amitriptyline and stress gave me huge depersonalization and cognitive impairment, but later substances worsened my cognition as well.
I was then put on nortriptyline after spending two years on ami (250 for 1year, 100 the next)which seems to have given me permanent dysautonomia. From the first day on that drug I stood up and literally could not move. Like every cell in my body was drained of energy. I soon came off but ever since I have been left with being able to quite literally feel my heart beating 24/7(see it in my abdomen), POTS and dysautonomia-with something mirroring chronic fatigue syndrome. I have low-key aching 24/7 and any minimal exertion of legs or arms makes them go dead. I also can not feel my stomach or feel nauseous. Surely something cholinergic has to be at play?
When I stopped amitriptyline I got the only brief period of remission in 7 years from anhedonia. It was gone in a couple days. Someone suggested it may be due to histamine sensitization. I've not been able to catch colds with PSSD apart from when I took cistanche tubulosa. But no remission then.
After being off psych drugs, I began experimenting with various supplements in 2018. My first crash came from biotin. I took it for 2 days at a dose of 10,000mcgs and I immediately noticed that it gave me neurogenic bladder. As in reducing feeling of full bladder and nerve impulse but not enough to cause real inconvenience apart from being unable to fully empty. It just feels unnatural. That hasn't changed in 2 years.
I then discovered I had a UTI which prompted me to take an antibiotic. I was aware of FQ's so opted for macrobid and this cleared up the infection immediately. After finishing the weeks course and believing the drug was out of my system, I wanted to take some d ribose as I heard it was good for chronic fatigue. So I did.
I waited 3 days before taking it and I wish I never had. One hour having taken ribose (1 gram), I was reading a book when I felt what I can only describe as a "power cut" in my brain. The words in my mind suddenly became warped mid-sentence and it felt like half my brain had switched off. It was a physical, electrical sort of sensation which I think happened on my left side-like a switch or power shortage.
It felt as though I had something jumping inside of my head when trying to think-blocking my internal monologue. I still struggle to read and think. Words don't form properly and as weird as it sound's, I think it's connected to my breathing and muscles somehow. Feels like an inner tightness or blockade of speech in my mind. It's like I actually have to slightly move my talking muscles to think. So hard to explain.
I have no clue what happened but know it was very bad and reading was all I had. Unfortunately it doesn't end there.
3 months later at the beginning of 2019-and desperate to repair my brain in any way possible, I took myo inositol based on someone's recommendations, at a dose of 12 grams a day. After 4 weeks I noticed that I was thinking of the wrong word all the time. As in my brain would retrieve a similar sounding or related word. It also made my ADHD 1000x worse, made me read words wrong ,gave me random words floating around in my head when waking and going to sleep, as well as crazy bad muscle spasms in my head, arms, legs. I think it made me slightly dyslexic too. Not nice on top of everything else and nothing has improved much. I still get spasms at times.
Next I tried galantamine which was recommended by someone else but I had to stop it after one day due to insane myoclonus. Even when talking, moving arms. Laying down. I seem more prone to it now and even got it again from uridine which I could take fine in the past. Something is definitely up with my cholinergic system.
I was terrified to take anything after this. Since inositol my face is tight and it feels like I get mini spasms when merely talking. As in its even a task to talk now really.I also have hypersalivation.
In Jan 2020 I took a single dose of bromantane and at this stage it really is like a bad joke. That night I had intense hypnogogic hallucinations, and, you guessed it, they are still with me. My brain is in trouble and it is terrifying. I also have Asperger's which makes this harder to cope with and no Dr believes me when I tell them meds damaged me or explain symptoms. I'm at a loss with what to do.
I ordered metergoline because I thought I may have too much serotonin and not enough dopamine, then took a single drop on Friday which burned my tongue and made me stop. Three days later I started getting spasms in my thumb quite bad. Took BCAA today and they happened again but worse.
Does anyone have any clue what could be wrong? Everything happened after taking something. Literally everything that has happened to me. It's gutting.
I should also mention I have found out I have low testosterone recently and my cortisol has a reverse pattern-as in low AM and high PM.
My brain is failing me and I really need to do something but I just don't know how to help myself anymore.
I also have 5a dhp but scared to take that and worried it could increase cortisol
I'm 26 and i've had anhedonia for 7 years after taking SSRIs from 15-20. In 2015 I was put on 250mg amitriptyline and I've not been the same since .I have read the stuff about anticholinergics and dementia which is obviously very scary. A combination of amitriptyline and stress gave me huge depersonalization and cognitive impairment, but later substances worsened my cognition as well.
I was then put on nortriptyline after spending two years on ami (250 for 1year, 100 the next)which seems to have given me permanent dysautonomia. From the first day on that drug I stood up and literally could not move. Like every cell in my body was drained of energy. I soon came off but ever since I have been left with being able to quite literally feel my heart beating 24/7(see it in my abdomen), POTS and dysautonomia-with something mirroring chronic fatigue syndrome. I have low-key aching 24/7 and any minimal exertion of legs or arms makes them go dead. I also can not feel my stomach or feel nauseous. Surely something cholinergic has to be at play?
When I stopped amitriptyline I got the only brief period of remission in 7 years from anhedonia. It was gone in a couple days. Someone suggested it may be due to histamine sensitization. I've not been able to catch colds with PSSD apart from when I took cistanche tubulosa. But no remission then.
After being off psych drugs, I began experimenting with various supplements in 2018. My first crash came from biotin. I took it for 2 days at a dose of 10,000mcgs and I immediately noticed that it gave me neurogenic bladder. As in reducing feeling of full bladder and nerve impulse but not enough to cause real inconvenience apart from being unable to fully empty. It just feels unnatural. That hasn't changed in 2 years.
I then discovered I had a UTI which prompted me to take an antibiotic. I was aware of FQ's so opted for macrobid and this cleared up the infection immediately. After finishing the weeks course and believing the drug was out of my system, I wanted to take some d ribose as I heard it was good for chronic fatigue. So I did.
I waited 3 days before taking it and I wish I never had. One hour having taken ribose (1 gram), I was reading a book when I felt what I can only describe as a "power cut" in my brain. The words in my mind suddenly became warped mid-sentence and it felt like half my brain had switched off. It was a physical, electrical sort of sensation which I think happened on my left side-like a switch or power shortage.
It felt as though I had something jumping inside of my head when trying to think-blocking my internal monologue. I still struggle to read and think. Words don't form properly and as weird as it sound's, I think it's connected to my breathing and muscles somehow. Feels like an inner tightness or blockade of speech in my mind. It's like I actually have to slightly move my talking muscles to think. So hard to explain.
I have no clue what happened but know it was very bad and reading was all I had. Unfortunately it doesn't end there.
3 months later at the beginning of 2019-and desperate to repair my brain in any way possible, I took myo inositol based on someone's recommendations, at a dose of 12 grams a day. After 4 weeks I noticed that I was thinking of the wrong word all the time. As in my brain would retrieve a similar sounding or related word. It also made my ADHD 1000x worse, made me read words wrong ,gave me random words floating around in my head when waking and going to sleep, as well as crazy bad muscle spasms in my head, arms, legs. I think it made me slightly dyslexic too. Not nice on top of everything else and nothing has improved much. I still get spasms at times.
Next I tried galantamine which was recommended by someone else but I had to stop it after one day due to insane myoclonus. Even when talking, moving arms. Laying down. I seem more prone to it now and even got it again from uridine which I could take fine in the past. Something is definitely up with my cholinergic system.
I was terrified to take anything after this. Since inositol my face is tight and it feels like I get mini spasms when merely talking. As in its even a task to talk now really.I also have hypersalivation.
In Jan 2020 I took a single dose of bromantane and at this stage it really is like a bad joke. That night I had intense hypnogogic hallucinations, and, you guessed it, they are still with me. My brain is in trouble and it is terrifying. I also have Asperger's which makes this harder to cope with and no Dr believes me when I tell them meds damaged me or explain symptoms. I'm at a loss with what to do.
I ordered metergoline because I thought I may have too much serotonin and not enough dopamine, then took a single drop on Friday which burned my tongue and made me stop. Three days later I started getting spasms in my thumb quite bad. Took BCAA today and they happened again but worse.
Does anyone have any clue what could be wrong? Everything happened after taking something. Literally everything that has happened to me. It's gutting.
I should also mention I have found out I have low testosterone recently and my cortisol has a reverse pattern-as in low AM and high PM.
My brain is failing me and I really need to do something but I just don't know how to help myself anymore.
I also have 5a dhp but scared to take that and worried it could increase cortisol