I understand why you're curious about that; reading it back I thought it was strange that I felt the need to write that. I think it's because I often go out of my way to be a positive and helpful person even when my health makes me feel like retreating or lashing out at people. I understand there's a need to look after yourself first and foremost, but also there's a lot of unkindness in the world, and the least I can do, even if I'm in ***t health, is make a positive atmosphere for others. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some Disney character going around whistling and doing good deeds for strangers. But I try to be consistent and considerate. Maybe it comes from a fear that if I'm in poor health and an ***hole then...I've got nothing...?
If fear is the root of it, only you will/could know.
But Peat said, when cellular energy goes down, one of the first things to go is empathy. So I‘d argue it‘s a good thing you still care (not worry, that’s another thing) about how you make others feel.