Why do I hate everyone?

[answersfound]

Yes, I get it. The answer is I probably hate myself. But is this a product of being hypothyroid? I don't understand it. Its the worst feeling in the world but I just feel so alien and alone. I've looked into spiritual teachings and I have an understanding as to why I feel this way. But I just can't escape this feeling. I just don't feel like a normal person. I seem to have a lot of conflict in my relationships and I was convinced it was these people in my life treating me poorly and by letting them know I was "standing up for myself." But now I am realizing this is a constant theme in my life where I just am unable to connect with other people. I pray that when my temps are around 99 and I have energy again I won't have these thoughts. My temp is high 97's right now.

 

[Blinkyrocket]

Yes, I get it. The answer is I probably hate myself. But is this a product of being hypothyroid? I don't understand it. Its the worst feeling in the world but I just feel so alien and alone. I've looked into spiritual teachings and I have an understanding as to why I feel this way. But I just can't escape this feeling. I just don't feel like a normal person. I seem to have a lot of conflict in my relationships and I was convinced it was these people in my life treating me poorly and by letting them know I was "standing up for myself." But now I am realizing this is a constant theme in my life where I just am unable to connect with other people. I pray that when my temps are around 99 and I have energy again I won't have these thoughts. My temp is high 97's right now.

Could be metabolic, or could just be your true heartfelt feelings, after all, they deserve it, maybe deep inside we all hate each other when you get to the subconscious mind. But then again, it could be metabolic, however I can relate to this cuz I'm perfectly happy and relaxed yet I still feel hatred for everyone (just humans, I feel love and connection to nature in ways I haven't in a long time) so I postulate that life experience has given me (and possibly you) real and true reason to hate everyone

 

[pboy]

you don't have the courage to be your true self, so you get jealous of or think others are posturing that seem to be having any kind of joy expressing themselves. Solution, grow a set, be yourself, make others know it instead of hiding it, holding it in, and or skewing it to their perception, and its actually more respectable and they'll eventually appreciate it

 

[Amazoniac]

Suggestion:
http://www.alice-miller.com/books_en.php?page=10

Also From Rage to Courage, which is just what pboy mentioned in his post..

 

[answersfound]

I would agree but I didn't feel this way until I got "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome" 4 years ago after mono. I definitely had insecurities, but I still had a good outlook on life and a lot of relationships. Now I have a more hopeless feeling and I just want to sit alone in my room all day.

 

[Blinkyrocket]

Idk about insecurity, I really don't care what ppl say anymore, it now means absolutely nothing to me what other people think (unless it imprisons me). Unless that's not security/insecurity? The funny thing is once you're debating whether or not you're insecure or not, anything you say is now rationalized to say "he said that because he's insecure", same thing can go for craziness "But I'm not crazy!" is now denial instead of the rational plea of a sane person.

Anyway, my hate is something I wanna keep, it's my precious >:)
If you change your mind and wanna feed your hate instead of starve it, here's some material (songs): Strapping Young Lad- Love? and Slipknot- People=S***

EDIT: I might still have insecurities, my heart is pounding now when I ponder what will happen because I posted this post, although this type of emotion is something I'd like to be rid of in the future.

Also, I could have a distorted view of happiness since I've been in total misery since I was young and it's quite possible that it was misery and not just depression, I thought it was normal to have your throat and head never stop hurting, I can tell you with truth that I only relaxed a total of 5 times, each one being when I watched a movie that was so good I forgot all worries. Now, I'm rethinking depression, is it JUST a mindset? Or is it a personal hell? If it's just a mindset then I'm probably depressed, it's way better than that personal hell though, I'll tell you that, constant suffocation (not kidding, constant air hunger, but without the urge to breathe hard, only way to fix it is to breathe with your diaphragm only, if I'd known that sooner.... holy crap that would've been great)

 

[Amazoniac]

EDIT: I might still have insecurities, my heart is pounding now when I ponder what will happen because I posted this post, although this type of emotion is something I'd like to be rid of in the future.

Hat tip for that confession. Very brave!
A lot of people that listen to Slipknot are actually sweet and caring. Haha! Appearances can fool..

 

[Elephanto]

Estrogen. People who are aggressive are loaded with estrogen, not testosterone. I'd argue that testosterone is the hormone of calm. Post-menopause women (or women when they're in the high estrogen phase of their cycle) and adolescents (also reach a peak of estrogen) are the most aggressive people. Alcohol is estrogenic, that's why people fight in bars. Some would argue that women fight less, but that's probably because they are conscious of their physical fragility and maybe because higher serotonin brings fear, instead they do a lot of passive aggressiveness.

 

[Blossom]

I would agree but I didn't feel this way until I got "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome" 4 years ago after mono. I definitely had insecurities, but I still had a good outlook on life and a lot of relationships. Now I have a more hopeless feeling and I just want to sit alone in my room all day.

I felt that way too after developing chronic fatigue syndrome from an Epstein Barr infection. Having an 'invisable' illness that lingers on for years, saps you of the energy and abilities you once had and for which there is no easy solution can understandably lead to a period of disillusionment. I definitely felt a lack of compassion and understanding from family and friends. Sadly I felt like "why bother".
I had the diagnosis of CFS for over a decade by the time I discovered Peat. In that time I tried all sorts of things to help myself heal most of which probably made me sicker. I don't have any quick and easy solution to offer but I do think the better you begin to feel physically and mentally the easier it is to rebuild your life. It's been important for me to treat myself with compassion and not judge myself for my feelings. Everyone has feelings that we have been conditioned to judge as wrong, bad or something to hide or be ashamed of but there are lessons in these feelings and most are understandable considering the situation. Acknowledging that you feel this way but not attaching any judgment of wrongness to that thought or feeling can help.
I used to freak out if I had a low energy day and fear that chronic fatigue was returning. I think when you've lived with that level of debilitating fatigue it is normal to be sensitive to any minor dip in energy. When I thought about it further I realized that it's actually just part of the natural ebb and flow of life so I no longer get upset if everyday isn't a high energy day.
The lesson I've taken away from the whole experience is to honor myself and my feelings, provide myself with the rest and nourishment my body needs and everything else starts to fall into place. It seems to me that if we treat ourselves well others will usually follow our lead and when they don't it doesn't bother us much because we are taking good care of ourselves regardless.

 

[answersfound]

I would agree but I didn't feel this way until I got "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome" 4 years ago after mono. I definitely had insecurities, but I still had a good outlook on life and a lot of relationships. Now I have a more hopeless feeling and I just want to sit alone in my room all day.

I felt that way too after developing chronic fatigue syndrome from an Epstein Barr infection. Having an 'invisable' illness that lingers on for years, saps you of the energy and abilities you once had and for which there is no easy solution can understandably lead to a period of disillusionment. I definitely felt a lack of compassion and understanding from family and friends. Sadly I felt like "why bother".
I had the diagnosis of CFS for over a decade by the time I discovered Peat. In that time I tried all sorts of things to help myself heal most of which probably made me sicker. I don't have any quick and easy solution to offer but I do think the better you begin to feel physically and mentally the easier it is to rebuild your life. It's been important for me to treat myself with compassion and not judge myself for my feelings. Everyone has feelings that we have been conditioned to judge as wrong, bad or something to hide or be ashamed of but there are lessons in these feelings and most are understandable considering the situation. Acknowledging that you feel this way but not attaching any judgment of wrongness to that thought or feeling can help.
I used to freak out if I had a low energy day and fear that chronic fatigue was returning. I think when you've lived with that level of debilitating fatigue it is normal to be sensitive to any minor dip in energy. When I thought about it further I realized that it's actually just part of the natural ebb and flow of life so I no longer get upset if everyday isn't a high energy day.
The lesson I've taken away from the whole experience is to honor myself and my feelings, provide myself with the rest and nourishment my body needs and everything else starts to fall into place. It seems to me that if we treat ourselves well others will usually follow our lead and when they don't it doesn't bother us much because we are taking good care of ourselves regardless.

Thanks for your input. I think the negative feelings I have about my situation stem from the views of people around me. People have this attitude like "what is he doing with his life" or "when is he going to get a job." I will say I have made a tremendous amount of progress and I believe being fully healthy is right around the corner. I'm In a manageable state right now where my temps are in the 97's, but for years I was miserable while in school and working a job. My temps were in the 94's. It was hell. So I do have a positive outlook because I'm seeing extremely slow improvement. I'm not living life, but rather waiting to live life. But with this state of mind and energy, I'm simply no ready to handle social relationshiPs and a job. I guess I'm just getting impatient. I'm sure these feelings and thought patterns are consistent with hypothyroidism. And I also need to learn to be present and not get caught up in constant thinking because that is the root of the issue. It's a feeling like life is passing me by and I will look back and have regrets about what I did not do. But then again, this process has been a tremendous learning experience and suffering has truly taught me so much about myself.

 

[Blinkyrocket]

Estrogen. People who are aggressive are loaded with estrogen, not testosterone. I'd argue that testosterone is the hormone of calm. Post-menopause women (or women when they're in the high estrogen phase of their cycle) and adolescents (also reach a peak of estrogen) are the most aggressive people. Alcohol is estrogenic, that's why people fight in bars. Some would argue that women fight less, but that's probably because they are conscious of their physical fragility and maybe because higher serotonin brings fear, instead they do a lot of passive aggressiveness.

I thought so, that's why I wondered if it was a good idea for me to take pregnenelone but instead, I'm just having caffeine in one way or another, it's hard to pick a source for caffeine because coffee inhibits thiamine and the energy drink I drink has allergenic added B vitamins, but it also has taurine so I tend to gravitate towards it.

 

[Blinkyrocket]

On second thought, I don't think it's a coincidence that my best memories are of having friends over and going to camps. Whereas justifying your hatred with irrational ideas isn't so bad, realizing that they're irrational without getting angry about it is paramount, well thanks for posting this, it made me feel better... Good luck with your feeling better as well I KNEW RAY PEAT SAID ADOLESCENCE WAS ONE OF THE MOST STRESSFUL TIMES, he actually said the late part of adolescence (i.e. 18 years old, i.e. MY AGE) I just thought teenage angst was a relatively new thing... it seems like teens we're a little better way back when but who knows, they could've just been more repressed than now.

 

[Westside PUFAs]

Yes, I get it. The answer is I probably hate myself. But is this a product of being hypothyroid? I don't understand it. Its the worst feeling in the world but I just feel so alien and alone. I've looked into spiritual teachings and I have an understanding as to why I feel this way. But I just can't escape this feeling. I just don't feel like a normal person. I seem to have a lot of conflict in my relationships and I was convinced it was these people in my life treating me poorly and by letting them know I was "standing up for myself." But now I am realizing this is a constant theme in my life where I just am unable to connect with other people. I pray that when my temps are around 99 and I have energy again I won't have these thoughts. My temp is high 97's right now.

You're back.

Louis CK made a funny joke about this once. It was something like "I hate people. Have you ever been in line at the bank, and you just see the guy in front of you, and in your head you're like, I hate you, I hate your face, so much."

But the way he does it is much funnier than reading it because he does a certain facial expression.

Just curious, are you the user "Broda Barnes" from peatarian?

 

[haidut]

Yes, I get it. The answer is I probably hate myself. But is this a product of being hypothyroid? I don't understand it. Its the worst feeling in the world but I just feel so alien and alone. I've looked into spiritual teachings and I have an understanding as to why I feel this way. But I just can't escape this feeling. I just don't feel like a normal person. I seem to have a lot of conflict in my relationships and I was convinced it was these people in my life treating me poorly and by letting them know I was "standing up for myself." But now I am realizing this is a constant theme in my life where I just am unable to connect with other people. I pray that when my temps are around 99 and I have energy again I won't have these thoughts. My temp is high 97's right now.

Two words - estrogen and serotonin. Both are required for anger/aggressiveness/hatred emotions. There were studies with LSD done in the 1960s showing even pathological criminals with absolute sociophobia became mellow and relaxed after therapy of about a month. The fatigue is a dead giveaway of high serotonin at least.
Maybe you can ask your doctor to try some bromo? Add some aspirin to that to increase the anti-estrogenic effects.

 

[johns74]

Two words - estrogen and serotonin.

Too simplistic. That view denies that personality disorders exist.

 

[answersfound]

Yes, I get it. The answer is I probably hate myself. But is this a product of being hypothyroid? I don't understand it. Its the worst feeling in the world but I just feel so alien and alone. I've looked into spiritual teachings and I have an understanding as to why I feel this way. But I just can't escape this feeling. I just don't feel like a normal person. I seem to have a lot of conflict in my relationships and I was convinced it was these people in my life treating me poorly and by letting them know I was "standing up for myself." But now I am realizing this is a constant theme in my life where I just am unable to connect with other people. I pray that when my temps are around 99 and I have energy again I won't have these thoughts. My temp is high 97's right now.

Two words - estrogen and serotonin. Both are required for anger/aggressiveness/hatred emotions. There were studies with LSD done in the 1960s showing even pathological criminals with absolute sociophobia became mellow and relaxed after therapy of about a month. The fatigue is a dead giveaway of high serotonin at least.
Maybe you can ask your doctor to try some bromo? Add some aspirin to that to increase the anti-estrogenic effects.

Interesting. I take cyproheptadine, bcaa's and aspirin regularly, and still have these feelings. I even take vitamin E with the aspirin. Maybe too much pregnenolone?

 

[haidut]

Yes, I get it. The answer is I probably hate myself. But is this a product of being hypothyroid? I don't understand it. Its the worst feeling in the world but I just feel so alien and alone. I've looked into spiritual teachings and I have an understanding as to why I feel this way. But I just can't escape this feeling. I just don't feel like a normal person. I seem to have a lot of conflict in my relationships and I was convinced it was these people in my life treating me poorly and by letting them know I was "standing up for myself." But now I am realizing this is a constant theme in my life where I just am unable to connect with other people. I pray that when my temps are around 99 and I have energy again I won't have these thoughts. My temp is high 97's right now.

Two words - estrogen and serotonin. Both are required for anger/aggressiveness/hatred emotions. There were studies with LSD done in the 1960s showing even pathological criminals with absolute sociophobia became mellow and relaxed after therapy of about a month. The fatigue is a dead giveaway of high serotonin at least.
Maybe you can ask your doctor to try some bromo? Add some aspirin to that to increase the anti-estrogenic effects.

Interesting. I take cyproheptadine, bcaa's and aspirin regularly, and still have these feelings. I even take vitamin E with the aspirin. Maybe too much pregnenolone?

Cyproheptadine alone should take care of both estrogen and serotonin. Anthistamines block estrogen's effects according to Peat and some studies I have seen, and the antiserotonin effect is by default. Also, cyproheptadine lowers cortisol through ACTH so that should be an added bonus too. Combining cypro with BCAA may be too much since BCAA on its own can lower dopamine as well as serotonin, and cyproheptadine is an antagonist on some dopamine receptors but it is thought that the effect happens only at doses too high to matter for humans.
Try taking only cypro for a week and see how you feel.