What Really Matters To Women

opethfeldt

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@opethfeldt Speaks the truth. I was basically nearly competition level lean for several years and didn't get any action or attention at all in that time frame (due to maintaining lean body with stress and thus testosterone in the gutter). I'm the fattest I've ever been and first go around with RP, gotten the most attention from the ladies I ever have, including some action, one of whom in particular was pretty hot (Never would have happened in the past). Sadly I screwed myself up and decided to go on a diet again because of the weight I gained, and now I'm even more overweight (never gonna diet again, big mistake) and my hormones haven't yet recovered from this stupidity but they should in time. I no longer really care about weight gain too much, since it really has basically done nothing for me to be lean.
Same experience. I'm "fat" right now, relative to how I've been in the past. I'm bald. I'm only 5'9. I'm ugly by societal standards. And yet, when my hormones are balanced, I get tons of indications of interest and other hits. When I was into fitness and was lean and muscular, I was invisible to the opposite sex. It's a waste of time to focus on looks as a man. There's more going on than we really know about.
 

opethfeldt

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Opinions from women can't usually be trusted, even if they are trying to be honest. Better to observe actions/behaviour.
As mean as this sounds, it's the truth. There's more going on with attraction than stuff women can articulate. Very often, women say they want one thing and go for another. Perfect example is the girl who keeps "attracting douchebags" and tells everyone she just wants a "nice guy" but then selects the same douchebag guys every time. Clearly, she's being influenced by something other than rational thought.
 

theLaw

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Just as people survive on stressful diets, they also live in stressful relationships.

Wonder how much relationships improve if your diet/lifestyle is optimal, and how much of what we see is just a fear-based response.
 

Cirion

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As mean as this sounds, it's the truth. There's more going on with attraction than stuff women can articulate. Very often, women say they want one thing and go for another. Perfect example is the girl who keeps "attracting douchebags" and tells everyone she just wants a "nice guy" but then selects the same douchebag guys every time. Clearly, she's being influenced by something other than rational thought.

BTW, a while back I got some dating coaching done (I know I know, lol sad) because I was not successful with the ladies. This was before Ray Peat, and I thought I just "had to get better" with dating. Anyway, there was some valuable things I learned from it all despite the fact that women were the coaches (In this case, they were actually good and pretty much knew what they were talking about). One thing that stood out to me in particular was that my coach (who was a woman) said that she was at a party one time and she was randomly talking to some dude that was very overweight - yet she admitted to me that she found him attractive, because he was very charismatic, joviable, and sociable/confident. That was the first time I started to realize there's more to it than just physical appearance. Their coaching did focus on more than just looks but also many "red pill" philosophies such as improving yourself in other areas, so it wasn't a complete waste of money (but I did spend more than I'd care to admit... lol)

Women like to feel "strong" emotions from guys. Often times, this strong feeling is anger and irritation though which is why many often fall for the bad guys. Having your woman get bored is the worst thing to do. Honestly it is preferable to make your girlfriend angry than it is for her to get bored. It's ridiculous but true. I actually had a friend of my brothers' go through this. His girlfriend literally admitted to his face that she was "bored" and that's why she left him. Straight from her mouth.

All that said, as @theLaw suggests, if both parties have a healthy metabolism it probably goes a long way to make things work out. I do think a lot of relationships fail because so many have unhealthy metabolisms which really mess with your brain and results in a lot of unnecessary altercations.
 
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opethfeldt

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BTW, a while back I got some dating coaching done (I know I know, lol sad) because I was not successful with the ladies. This was before Ray Peat, and I thought I just "had to get better" with dating. Anyway, there was some valuable things I learned from it all despite the fact that women were the coaches (In this case, they were actually good and pretty much knew what they were talking about). One thing that stood out to me in particular was that my coach (who was a woman) said that she was at a party one time and she was randomly talking to some dude that was very overweight - yet she admitted to me that she found him attractive, because he was very charismatic, joviable, and sociable/confident. That was the first time I started to realize there's more to it than just physical appearance. Their coaching did focus on more than just looks but also many "red pill" philosophies such as improving yourself in other areas, so it wasn't a complete waste of money (but I did spend more than I'd care to admit... lol)
There's nothing to be ashamed of. I wasn't always successful either and went down much the same path before finding my way. It doesn't matter how you got there, as long as you got there in the end. You should be proud you know what so many men still don't.
 

LUH 3417

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Women of all ages. It doesn't matter. I disagree all women seek masculinity when seeking flings. I see many young women with "girly" or feminine looking guys. I also see many women with below-average looking guys. I think that the whole money-looks-status thing is just one big illusion. Men think that women want looks-money-status but most women I see in real life have very average, normal men. Most of my friends aren't supermodels or rich, yet they have an attractive girlfriend.
I agree with you that the money looks status is an illusion. Sometimes attraction is based on a biological need. Maybe it has to do with being attracted to the hormones that’ll balance your own.
 

ebs

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Focusing on "what women want" will only make you unhappy anyway and turn you into a beta male which ultimately will most likely result in you being cheated on in the end because no woman wants a pushover beta male.. You gotta do you first and foremost, and if some woman wants to join you in your mission, then cool, if not, then bye! Lol

Agreed. I get depressed when watching these kind of videos. You should trust your own instincts first and foremost. That alone gives you confidence instead of relying on others what to do, which is beta male behaviour.
 

Spondive

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As my old man said about being good with the ladies... “ never be predictable”
 

Zpol

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Then take the test and share the result without reading the description.
Lol I took it. I got ADVOCATE PERSONALITY (INFJ, -A/-T).
Feel like I just read my horoscope.

Opinions from women can't usually be trusted, even if they are trying to be honest. Better to observe actions/behaviour.
All opinions are subjective and can't exactly be trusted without considering the substantiating facts. Polls and such do not really address this, neither do personality tests. I think they are are interesting from a sociological perspective though.
Agreed; observing actions and behavior is wise, with men too.

Women never speak what they really want, it may be a way of protecting themselves, avoiding repercussion, or simply because they do not know it consciously.
All women and men are subject to cognitive bias. Wanting one thing and saying another is likely a manifestation of that.

Maybe a better poll would be... In what way does your cognitive bias affect what you want in a partner?
 

Gone Peating

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Then why do all the couples I see, the man looks average or even a bit overweight/balding? Just walk in the city or mall and observe couples. Many of the guys are just average looking or even below average-looking guys. Are they all rich guys? I don't think so.

You are likely overrating the looks of the women (makeup, revealing clothes) and underrating the looks of the man.

That being said yes there are many examples of women with partners who aren't as good looking as them. That doesn't mean that when they get horny they aren't way more interested in guys better looking than their partners. I am amazed at how much flirting guys let their girlfriends and even wives get away with.
 

Frankdee20

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You are likely overrating the looks of the women (makeup, revealing clothes) and underrating the looks of the man.

That being said yes there are many examples of women with partners who aren't as good looking as them. That doesn't mean that when they get horny they aren't way more interested in guys better looking than their partners. I am amazed at how much flirting guys let their girlfriends and even wives get away with.

Like rapper Fabolous said......N___S TIGHT WITH ME CAUSE THEY BABY MAMMA LOOSE
 
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There are too things only your DNA that she could process and create healthy kids and/or your ability to provide for these kids. These two are fundamental, everything else is rooted in.
 

schultz

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What women want... *drum roll* ... depends on the woman. Shocking, I know.

Like rapper Fabolous said......N___S TIGHT WITH ME CAUSE THEY BABY MAMMA LOOSE

I can't figure out what this gentleman is trying to say. Would you translate for me?
 

Inaut

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I posted earlier in this thread and after reading some of the female comments afterwards and re reading my own post, I realized anything I said pure garbage.

I think only women should be posting here as most of us dudes, THINK we know what women want....... but it’s sometimes far from reality. Every women is different. Most of us men are clueless when it comes to cues from women (even when they are into us). I think we all can agree on one thing————-that hygiene is number 1. Universal :)

Maybe this is just another useless post of mine but ....yea.....

And @schultz I think he was trying to say women like men with big penis....... I’m somewhat fluent in hip hop.....some do....some don’t....I think if a chick likes you, she will also enjoy your penis (unless it requires a magnifying glass to see it)

dudes—-just work with what you have and make it work for you. Women are special and should be made to feel as such (that’s jmo)

✌️And a mic drop
 

schultz

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And @schultz I think he was trying to say women like men with big penis.......

Really? I'm struggling to see it still lol... I looked up the song lyrics and most of it doesn't make sense. It seems like he is saying even though he is famous now he is still willing to shoot people. Though I don't understand these two lines...

"Ya boy still whipping like he in this movie business
Got the Jamba Juice right here in the bomber goose"

lol. So many questions. What's a bomber goose? What is whipping? And why do they do it in the movie business?
 

Inaut

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Hahaha derailing the thread :)
Bomber goose- goose down filled bomber jacket
Whipping -either means cooking crack cocaine or driving nice cars.
Jamba Juice——no clue, a gun maybe hahaha
 

schultz

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Hahaha derailing the thread :)
Bomber goose- goose down filled bomber jacket
Whipping -either means cooking crack cocaine or driving nice cars.
Jamba Juice——no clue, a gun maybe hahaha

Haha yah a bit off topic. Bomber jacket, of course!
 

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