What makes you insecure in your relationship?

[Hans]

A few examples include bad breath, excess fat, dandruff, acne, PE, or whatever.

For those that are not in a relationship, please share as well what insecurities prevent you from approaching women or getting serious in the first place.

 

[laleto12]

Anxiety, armpit sweating (stress) , dandruf, acne. Feeling submissive when stressed.

These are the ones that instantly comes up to my mind

 

[JamesGatz]

I don't feel too insecure these days only because my health has gotten so much better overtime but one thing that used to annoy me was this:

Taking a girl out to places- especially if the girl is particularly attractive - Every time I am in this situation especially if the girl is the type to put in effort to make me jealous (I consider myself quiet good at these mind games so I don't care too much) - I get loads of dudes trying to start problems with me - I'm sure there is an evolutionary reason this happens that's why I don't mind engaging with these people, but it is just oh so very annoying - I already know if I am to go somewhere like the movie theaters with a girl - I am going to have at least 5 guys to deal with that will try to start problems with me, so I would just rather not do it.

If a girl wants a trip to the movie theaters these days I say she can just stay in the house and watch movies on the TV instead :) haha just joking - yea but this was the most annoying thing I dealt with back when I used to be in relationships - I'm sure girls deal with the same thing to an extent but it's not as bad with guys

 

[mamakitty]

A few examples include bad breath, excess fat, dandruff, acne, PE, or whatever.

For those that are not in a relationship, please share as well what insecurities prevent you from approaching women or getting serious in the first place.

This is a very age related thing. The younger one is, the more insecure. I was listening to your talk with @CLASH earlier and you guys were talking about how you got more relaxed about relationships the more you had them.
Initially when young and virgin, the insecurities could be all related to the act of sex itself. And then the mind starts freaking out about morning breath or gas at night or having love handles. I used to have all of those insecurities plus insecurities related to how I look when I wake up, how is my hair, how is the makeup after sex blah blah. I was even worried about my boobs and butts. Like when I was skinny and considered “hot”, I thought my boobs are small so if I have sex the guy would be disinterested. I thought my butt is long because of weightloss. Then after being near obese for years, my boobs and butts were big but I had extreme insecurities about being fat and not being “hot” anymore. Always had anxiety about dark circles after sleeping less, hair being limp after no shampoo hahahahaha all superficial BS, TRUST ME!

But honestly age and finding the right loving spouse is the ONLY solution to all these insecurities. Of course, being healthy is wonderful for your confidence and sure everyone should be cognisant of their hygiene practices. But all these little shallow superficial insecurities amount to nothing when you have a loving caring spouse!

Edit: have to add most insecurities in a long term relationship arise from the man’s use of porn. Some other issues arise from a bad diet.
And as you guys talked about in your video, one can get bored of the same thing. There are ways to cut the monotony. One way is to be apart for a while to renew the romance, absence makes the heart fonder, and something harder. But it’s very hard to go away during these corona times.

 

[PhilParma]

I don't do relationships because of low libido & PE.

 

[Summer]

Being interesting/fun enough. Of course, my fears played out in real life. Since then, I haven’t really sought out another relationship.

 

[-Luke-]

For those that are not in a relationship, please share as well what insecurities prevent you from approaching women or getting serious in the first place.

Disillusionment with humanity in general.

 

[mamakitty]

Disillusionment with humanity in general.

That’s not an insecurity, bruh

 

[llian]

Autistic behaviours play a big part in my case, however every thing that should correct this doesn't do anything for me so far I tried every anti-serotonergic substance out there but anxiety/submissivness and rumination in conversation doesn't improve at all. Constant tiredness/fatigue is another thing.

 

[-Luke-]

That’s not an insecurity, bruh

I somehow skipped the word "insecure" in the title. Probably because Hans' picture makes me feel insecure, because his arms are twice as big as mine.

 

[Pedigree]

a lack of belonging & place

 

[MyUsernameHere]

Hair loss. Took my twenties away from me and still no cure in sight.

 

[TMCMac]

A few examples include bad breath, excess fat, dandruff, acne, PE, or whatever.

For those that are not in a relationship, please share as well what insecurities prevent you from approaching women or getting serious in the first place.

Definitely excess body fat doesnt look good at all when youre like 80 pounds overweight and libido isnt too good either, also suspect issues with prolactin since post orgasm takes a while to go again or want to go again.

 

[mamakitty]

I somehow skipped the word "insecure" in the title. Probably because Hans' picture makes me feel insecure, because his arms are twice as big as mine.

You know what? Hans would make me feel insecure too, if I were a guy. But as a wahmen, I find him good looking lol
He comes across as a sweet guy too, not at all like those muscle bros dbags!

 

[mamakitty]

Autistic behaviours play a big part in my case, however every thing that should correct this doesn't do anything for me so far I tried every anti-serotonergic substance out there but anxiety/submissivness and rumination in conversation doesn't improve at all. Constant tiredness/fatigue is another thing.

Have you tried a good B complex? And quitting porn? And socialising with men sometimes?

 

[Yonebayashian]

Autistic behaviours play a big part in my case, however every thing that should correct this doesn't do anything for me so far I tried every anti-serotonergic substance out there but anxiety/submissivness and rumination in conversation doesn't improve at all. Constant tiredness/fatigue is another thing.

I go in and out of feeling like this. Sometimes fixing gut health gets rid of it, sometimes microdosing, sometimes magnesium, sometimes channeling emotions into writing. Socialization or stress can make it worse. Might need to do emotional work or consider your spiritual state.

Magnesium is super underrated and undertalked about on this forum so consider increasing magnesium. A session of a mag bath can instantly give me a calm inner reserve of peace that I didn't have before.

 

[Dr. B]

I don't feel too insecure these days only because my health has gotten so much better overtime but one thing that used to annoy me was this:

Taking a girl out to places- especially if the girl is particularly attractive - Every time I am in this situation especially if the girl is the type to put in effort to make me jealous (I consider myself quiet good at these mind games so I don't care too much) - I get loads of dudes trying to start problems with me - I'm sure there is an evolutionary reason this happens that's why I don't mind engaging with these people, but it is just oh so very annoying - I already know if I am to go somewhere like the movie theaters with a girl - I am going to have at least 5 guys to deal with that will try to start problems with me, so I would just rather not do it.

If a girl wants a trip to the movie theaters these days I say she can just stay in the house and watch movies on the TV instead :) haha just joking - yea but this was the most annoying thing I dealt with back when I used to be in relationships - I'm sure girls deal with the same thing to an extent but it's not as bad with guys

wow, did the girl cause that, you mentioned girl put in effort to make you jealous.

what lead to those guys starting problems with you, and what kind of problems were they giving. that's absolutely pathetic, I mean if they're simply inquiring about something and unsure if you're her family member or friend or handler that's one thing, but to start problems sounds like they were jealous or had serious issues.

 

[Atonewithme]

My mom stomach after 3 c-sections but I don’t focus on it much the older I get. I don’t like how passive I am in a relationship either. I’ve grown quite cynical though and know I can’t change anyone, so why bother saying anything if something is bothering me. I’m working on it though because I think some things are worth talking about with some people.

 

[JamesGatz]

wow, did the girl cause that, you mentioned girl put in effort to make you jealous.

what lead to those guys starting problems with you, and what kind of problems were they giving. that's absolutely pathetic, I mean if they're simply inquiring about something and unsure if you're her family member or friend or handler that's one thing, but to start problems sounds like they were jealous or had serious issues.

Yea I do think it's my city because generally a lot of guys that live here are very unhealthy and as a result I think are inclined to be engaged in stressed behavior - whenever I am in the south or many suburban areas where generally people are a lot nicer I notice they also look significantly healthier

Yea so as for the problems - It's a mix of things always focused on making you look bad or trying to wind you up to get emotionally reactive - I don't mind banter with people but with the guys in this city it's not friendly banter it's usually them having a chip on their shoulder attitude - trying to draw you into a physical fight or something similar - I still engage with them but am mostly de-escalatory - I always hear stories of guys getting shot/stabbed in my city over something small so I never know when one of these guys is foolish enough to attempt something like this - I just carry ways to protect myself and de-escalate situations with guys looking for conflict mostly

 

[Smell The Ashes]

Not having the metabolic energy to interact in a way that is playful and engaging. I find the glimpses where I am filled with energy I feel confident in quipping and doing silly things but in most of my day to day life I sit reserved, it's a shame really but I'm working on it.

I like the fact when I'm feeling energetic I feel comfortable talking about anything including peaty things but then when the energy dissipates I feel isolated and nervous bringing these topics up, even to some of my closest friends.