Vileplume’s Log: Getting my life back

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Vileplume

Vileplume

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What a journey, Tyler. Thank you for sharing it with us. I find your determination in the face of suffering inspiring, and it’s always a good day when I see someone who was once anxious and depressed, now standing in their power and able to enjoy life. Since your improvements, have you noticed any change in your students’ behavior and the way they respond to you? Have they nicknamed you the Milkman yet? If I were a teacher, I’d demand that my students refer to me as the Dairy Queen. :happy:
Thanks Jennifer, and thanks for reading it. You ask a great question, and it's difficult to say for sure because my current students live much more traumatic lives than the students in my previous district.

On a day-to-day basis, I notice tremendous difference in how my students respond to me, based on how I behave and the energy I exude. When my energy is off and my stress levels high, on those days when I lose my train of thought standing in front of the class, I don't really enjoy teaching, so my joy and happiness gets replaced with fear, an aimlessness, the habit of comparing myself with other teachers, and a general dissatisfaction. In this state, students seem bored, more likely to misbehave and question me, less likely to do their work, and the class becomes more chaotic. Then, I respond pathologically: I get angry, I take their behavior personally, I don't laugh or smile or joke with them, and I fail to see the beauty in what they say and the work they do. This forms a vicious cycle.

Lately, I have had more energy throughout the day than ever before as a teacher. I still feel tired around 6th period, but nowhere near as worn out as a used to feel. I have a natural inclination to joke with my students, and the feeling of overwhelm from a loud, out-of-control class doesn't throw me off like it used to. My favorite observation is that when I have strong, positive, low-stress energy, students seem to naturally behave better. They follow directions, they talk about their work with excitement, they listen when I need their attention, and they say things like "goodbye Mr. Webb" instead of just rushing out the door. Everything, everything gets better with improved metabolism. In this state, I think a person exudes a playfulness and meaningfulness that attracts people's attention and focus. You become jovial and lighthearted, but at the same time your actions and words become full of meaning because you have the mental energy to feel meaning. When you're hypothyroid and tired, you use every drop of energy just to get through the day, so in every social interaction, you don't have any actual meaning or sincerity -- you just pantomime to get through, you just say what you think you should. I think that's what Dr. Peat meant when he said with a low-energy person, "what you get is a string of cliches." That speaking pattern comes from a lack of energy, which leads to a lack of meaning in your life experience, which leads to a lack of anything real to say, which leads to the reliance on cliches.

I think my students, and all of us, desperately want to say meaningful things, to find the meaning and sincerity in our lives. So when we find someone who speaks with such sincerity and meaning, we respond positively.
 

Jennifer

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I think my students, and all of us, desperately want to say meaningful things, to find the meaning and sincerity in our lives. So when we find someone who speaks with such sincerity and meaning, we respond positively.

Thank you for sharing your experience and observations. The above sums them up beautifully. I was particularly curious about the energetic impact on your students as you’ve healed so I appreciate your detailed response. I totally agree with responding positively to sincerity and in my experience, it’s especially true for the highly sensitive of the world, such as children, who easily go beyond verbal and visual cues and are actually responding to our energy, even if they aren’t consciously aware of it. If, for whatever reason, we have this unease within us, it creates an unease within them, especially if verbal and visual cues aren’t matching what they’re feeling, and so they respond accordingly. Basically, a long-winded way of saying they’re natural BS meters (lol) and so sincerity goes a long way. Maybe a bit woo-woo sounding, but it’s a topic I’m very much interested in given my own nature as an energetic sponge and how understanding this has helped me immensely with my healing.
 

EnergeticLeo

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Sep 26, 2022
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Stumbled on this thread; thank you for the detailed write up Vileplume - it's crazy how many people have been down similar roads of undereating, overexercising, keto, carnivore etc... Exact same for me. if only they could teach basic physiology to parents and in schools, kids who didn't know any better would be so much healthier!

I hope everything is progressing for you these days.
 

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