Tranked. I am now a drug abuser. [Klonopin]

messtafarian

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I went to see the MS guy a week ago or so who said he had no idea what was wrong with me. My symptoms are hugely nervewracking and upsetting -- mostly after a couple of hours awake I shake like a wet dog and when I lie down to sleep I have muscle "tracers"--every time I move there are these muscular tracers in the roused body part, as if the muscles are irritated and trying to calm down from being upset.

So the MS doctor offered me Klonopin and I took one and felt relief. I also felt like falling asleep instantly, but i felt relief Then I wondered what would happen if I took more than one .5 mg klonopin. DOUBLE relief. Insomnia gone. Fine tremor gone.

So now I am up to four of these a day. This is *not* what these are supposed to be used for. I am supposed to take ONE of them for sleep, but to have my body appearing to operate the way it used to is just too tempting, even though I can barely keep my eyes open and moving around is really more like trudging around since my limbs feel so heavy it's like they're going to fall right out of their sockets. On top of this, I just took a valium since I read I'll then have something like three day coverage on the shakes, twitches and zaps.

I would much rather have a cure for what is wrong with me but I'm now so desperate I'm considering staying tranked for a couple months, sleeping twenty hours a day and seeing if I wake up feeling better on the other end.

This is the ONLY strategy i've found that helps. Any others, please let me know.
 

DaveFoster

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Have you tried high doses of niacinamide? Vitamin B3 stimulates GABA receptors in the brain, but probably to a far lesser degree than a drug like Klonopin.
 

answersfound

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Don't beat yourself up. Try clonidine it is used for withdrawing drug addicts
 

messtafarian

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I've tried niacinamide but I don't think the rest of my metabolism can handle it well enough for some reason. Clonidine and more cypro is on its way.
 

XPlus

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Wish I could help, messtafarian, but there's isn't anything specific I find myself capable of recommending.
There are few thoughts that come to mind when reading your post:

If you've not had any recent labs, figuring out how your health status is overall might lead you to find few things to tweak in your system, for the better.
Also, evaluating how stressful your current lifestyle is (i.e. work, relationships, household responsibilities, environment, etc) might provide some motivation for a change.

Sometimes, it's the little things that help.
A tablespoon or two of sugar, sometimes, is all takes to put me to sleep when I feel restlessness.
Sometimes it's the fat soluble vitamins.
I recently realised that EMFs are effective disturbers of sleep and general feeling of well being, for me.
It really makes a difference when there isn't 10 appliances, 3 satellite dishes and 13 wifi hotspots working around.

There got to be that one or two things that could make profound changes.
It's a matter of finding what they are.
 

Makrosky

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messtafarian said:
I would much rather have a cure for what is wrong with me but I'm now so desperate I'm considering staying tranked for a couple months, sleeping twenty hours a day and seeing if I wake up feeling better on the other end.

This is the ONLY strategy i've found that helps. Any others, please let me know.

Hey messtafarian, as answersfound said, please don't beat yourself up. Big Pharma drugs can be bad or very good, depending on context. Same for MD's. YOU ARE NOT A DRUG ABUSER. Stop saying bad things about yourself. Respect, man.

You sound very stressed and tired (I can understand it) so your solution of stayin two months on klonopin sleeping a lot, eating well and recovering maybe is not a bad idea. Something like a pit-stop. The only thing that is potentially dangerous is the withdrawal from benzos, but that only happens when you actually withdraw from them, so you have some time to develop an strategy. Lots of people have managed to discontinue benzos, so, it should be possible. What does your doctor say about that ? Right now you need to rest.

And if the only solution is taking a klonopin pill a day for the rest of your life, is it really such a big price to pay to be ok? I know lots of people who are on some kind of big pharma drug chronically and they have perfectly normal lifes.
 

Tarmander

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I really would try high dose niacinamide before jumping on the klonopin train. I have a lot of the same muscle problems that you have, mostly from a history of intense meditation and breathing exercises, but even when I was young I felt twitchy and agitated in my muscles. I take niacinamide like it is candy, and probably have taken 3-5g in a day at times, it is one of the best supplements in my opinion.

Just go read some stories out there from long term users of klonopin. Regret, suicide, depression. I remember reading that klonopin was designed to be used against seizures for 7-10 days at a time, it isn't too late to back off.

Try this. Stop taking anything that "ups" you...sooo B vitamins, caffeine, fat solubles, aspirin, chocolate, etc. Figure out how pregnenolone affects you, is it an upper or downer? Then take large doses of niacinamide and pregnenolone (if its a downer). You can also add in vitamin B1 without too much risk of stimulating the muscle chaos. Eat less sugar and liquids for a couple weeks, switch to potatoes or rice if you can handle the starch. See if this helps.
 

Makrosky

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Tarmander said:
post 104627I have a lot of the same muscle problems that you have, mostly from a history of intense meditation and breathing exercises
What??? Meditation and breathing exercises (pranayama?) caused you muscle problems ? How come ?

Tarmander said:
I take niacinamide like it is candy, and probably have taken 3-5g in a day at times, it is one of the best supplements in my opinion.
If you take such big doses I suggest you take a look at this : viewtopic.php?f=124&t=8146
To get an idea of which is the actual safety profile of niacinamide. Quite safe but there have been some exceptional cases of hepatotoxicity in doses higher than 3g/day.

Tarmander said:
post 104627 Just go read some stories out there from long term users of klonopin. Regret, suicide, depression.

Long term use or withdrawal symptoms ?
 
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goodandevil

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tobieagle said:
post 104611 I have read some seriously f***ed up stories about benzo-withdrawal.
Be cautious man...

If you can't find the underlying issue I would rather use cannabis or smth similiar for temporary relief.

I second that. It's been 16 months since i stopped valium ), and it's been the most hellish experience of my life.

2-3 months on 2/3mg:
https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=45008
 
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Joocy_J

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I've gone through bento withdrawal before. Just bite the bullet and go cold turkey it isn't really that bad.
 

charlie

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Joocy_J said:
post 104634 Just bite the bullet and go cold turkey it isn't really that bad.
It was horrible for me, possibly the hardest and worse thing I have ever been through. It was a horrible ordeal that the effects lasted YEARS!!!
 
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Tarmander

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Makrosky said:
post 104631
Tarmander said:
post 104627I have a lot of the same muscle problems that you have, mostly from a history of intense meditation and breathing exercises
What??? Meditation and breathing exercises (pranayama?) caused you muscle problems ? How come ?

Tarmander said:
I take niacinamide like it is candy, and probably have taken 3-5g in a day at times, it is one of the best supplements in my opinion.
If you take such big doses I suggest you take a look at this : https://raypeatforum.com/forum/viewtopi ... 124&t=8146
To get an idea of which is the actual safety profile of niacinamide. Quite safe but there have been some exceptional cases of hepatotoxicity in doses higher than 3g/day.

Tarmander said:
post 104627 Just go read some stories out there from long term users of klonopin. Regret, suicide, depression.

Long term use or withdrawal symptoms ?

Yeah kundalini can be a real b****.

I've read quite a bit on niacinamide and its safety. There are some risks at high doses. The liver enzymes from methionine depletion seem like a good thing.

It's all about trade offs. The sleep and well being from
Niacinamide I get far outweigh the risks.

Are you really saying you'd rather do klonopin then have some of the risks of high dose niacinamide? Is that even a conversation?
 
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Joocy_J

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Charlie said:
post 104637
Joocy_J said:
post 104634 Just bite the bullet and go cold turkey it isn't really that bad.
It was horrible for me, possibly the hardest and worse thing I have ever been through. It was a horrible ordeal that the effects lasted YEARS!!!

Really? What age did you get off? How long were you on for?
 
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Makrosky

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Tarmander said:
Are you really saying you'd rather do klonopin then have some of the risks of high dose niacinamide? Is that even a conversation?

Not at all!!! I never said that. I just saw you can take up to 5gr a day and I didn't know if you were aware of the potential risks, and it seems you are, so nevermind.

Of course I would try niacinamide first, no doubt on that, but he says niacinamide doesn't work for him???
 

Tarmander

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Makrosky said:
post 104653
Tarmander said:
Are you really saying you'd rather do klonopin then have some of the risks of high dose niacinamide? Is that even a conversation?

Not at all!!! I never said that. I just saw you can take up to 5gr a day and I didn't know if you were aware of the potential risks, and it seems you are, so nevermind.

Of course I would try niacinamide first, no doubt on that, but he says niacinamide doesn't work for him???

Ahh my misunderstanding.
 
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messtafarian

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What's amazing to me is all the things I have not been offered. I have anti-achr antibodies and a thyroid that has gone rogue, so it would seem reasonable to me that I'd be offered mestinon for muscle weakness and perhaps a deep thyroid panel with treatment, but both of these were denied even though I asked. The reason was that I had " no clinical diagnosis' of either of these things. Rock bottom iron stores -- no treatment offered. I have both a rogue thyroid and something weird happening at my neuromuscular junction -- no thymic catscan offered. Be assured I have asked for these things. So far no tests that haidut and others have suggested -- basic things like rt3 and prolactin. Even my three night cortisol test was a massive deal I had to wait six weeks for.

As far as Lyme disease -- something else in the differential -- I'm paying roughly two thousand dollars to get an entire panel sent to Germany since no one in the US believes it actually exists.

What I got was tranks. They keep giving them to me. Valium, ativan, xanax, and the big guns, klonopin, and I bet if I went in there and asked for tramadol they would give me that too.

But my reasoning for taking them is that clearly what my doctors think is wrong with me is "anxiety". I actually am anxious, and if I wasn't anxious *before* I sure as shiesse am right *now* damn freakin anxious. *insane* things are happening to my nerve-muscle communication -- like -- I walk into the bathroom, reach up to grab the shower bar to get in the tub and miss it by a country mile, my arm just swipes through the air. I had diarrhea for TEN months.

In the meantime, I've got shakes, twitches, and strange isolated moments such as the day when I could not butter a piece of toast because my shoulder started jumping around in the socket, the day I raised my left hand and it started waving on its own as if it was saying goodbye, the day I woke up and realized that I had no awareness of where my hands were in relationship to the rest of me. I'll wake up in the middle of the night and feel all my chest muscles vibrating like someone is blowing small bubbles through my veins. I move my neck a certain way and can feel the bottom of my spine moving around and wagging like a tail.

So tranking is sort of my last and only opinion. If "anxiety" is causing all this -- which I sincerely doubt - being sedated should fix it. If not, since the medical establishment simply wants to wait until I'm paralyzed or have some kind of full blown movement disorder, at least it will stop me from trolling the internet looking for potential diagnoses no one will acknowledge or treat me for anyway.

Plus it gets my mind off the fact that what passes for medicine in this country is frankly terrifying .
 

Giraffe

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messtafarian said:
post 104692 I'm paying roughly two thousand dollars to get an entire panel sent to Germany since no one in the US believes it actually exists.
Why not "send" yourself to Germany and spend some time in the Alps region? :)
 
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messtafarian

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Giraffe said:
post 104695
messtafarian said:
post 104692 I'm paying roughly two thousand dollars to get an entire panel sent to Germany since no one in the US believes it actually exists.
Why not "send" yourself to Germany and spend some time in the Alps region? :)

:) If I was was strong enough and knew where i was going I would go.
 
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Joocy_J

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Am I missing something? Why don't you just buy the drugs you want yourself? What is the point of the doc?

You know you can buy thyroid over the internet right?
 
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