The Odd Kid Out Of The Bunch Growing Up And To Present Day?

[troubledtimes]

latley ive been asking for help. id like to hear from an outside perspective weather its good or bad on what i describe as myself. it might be a high functioning level of autism? in alot of ways i was a normal kid i had a select few friends who i would play video games with, pokemon cards were a big thing at that time and the gameboy games. i liked skateboarding and pretty much typical things alot of kids did only i was one of the 2 or 3 kids in the class who didnt do there school work. i could read, write but i literally had no clue why i was at school. i didnt do my homework or barley any work in class. i was not bouncing off the walls speaking very fast either like ADHD but i would say maybe i had the slow witted non attentive ADD? my mind was basically blank through grades 1-8. id try to listen to what the teacher was explaining but my brain was just NOT on i couldnt remember or absorb information. became one of the kids who got bad grades and basically an outcast the other kids thought i was a loser and not cool i was deffinitley judged. but i DID like exercise and always got 75% in gym class because i had good motor skills and of course failed the education and written part of phy ed. recess or lunch break running around i liked that i was social than but in the classroom i deffinitley was the opposite. didnt want to be called on, didnt want to be there, just waited for school to be over with really to go home and enjoy things that i liked. now of course following me to when i turned into an adult these problems followed... going for job interviews i literally did not even care about selling myself... answered questions in a monotone voice, if i was lucky to get a job i deffinitley did NOT excel at it and i was not a hard worker to be straight up BUT not because i didnt want to be i forwhatever reason just felt out of my element? didnt have the drive or desire to be there? to this day the anxiety and depression has got worse and im sure only amplified because of my struggles growing up and just not seeing eye to eye how ur "suppose to act" in this world... can someone explain or give input here? it would help. could alot of my issues be ADD and low frontal lobe activity? a lower output of dopamine compared to other people? i was a worrier growing up to so ADD mixed with depression and anxiety? or is this a form of autism? or aspergers disease? like there are some people who have bi polar 2 and they have a productive side to them atleast ( i am deffinitley not bi polar anything im always just dim, down and anxious for the record) but i know people who are work a holics and stay up 3 or 4 days studying or doing work and sometimes i WISH my brain turned on like that! i just dont get it.... i really dont get it. ive tryed ritalin and vyvanse a few months ago just so what they would do and literally they did nothing for me..... there amphetamines and they didnt do anything?? maybe adderall would have been more potent and noticeable. maybe i was born with damaged frontal lobes of my brain or this is some kind of developmental disorder in the brain? i dont know why my brain is not lit up and working like other peoples... im just trying to help myself out here and understand what the hell is wrong with me all these years[/QUOTE]

 

[troubledtimes]

the 2nd reply dont pay attention to mistake... can a mod delete that?

 

[Vileplume]

latley ive been asking for help. id like to hear from an outside perspective weather its good or bad on what i describe as myself. it might be a high functioning level of autism? in alot of ways i was a normal kid i had a select few friends who i would play video games with, pokemon cards were a big thing at that time and the gameboy games. i liked skateboarding and pretty much typical things alot of kids did only i was one of the 2 or 3 kids in the class who didnt do there school work. i could read, write but i literally had no clue why i was at school. i didnt do my homework or barley any work in class. i was not bouncing off the walls speaking very fast either like ADHD but i would say maybe i had the slow witted non attentive ADD? my mind was basically blank through grades 1-8. id try to listen to what the teacher was explaining but my brain was just NOT on i couldnt remember or absorb information. became one of the kids who got bad grades and basically an outcast the other kids thought i was a loser and not cool i was deffinitley judged. but i DID like exercise and always got 75% in gym class because i had good motor skills and of course failed the education and written part of phy ed. recess or lunch break running around i liked that i was social than but in the classroom i deffinitley was the opposite. didnt want to be called on, didnt want to be there, just waited for school to be over with really to go home and enjoy things that i liked. now of course following me to when i turned into an adult these problems followed... going for job interviews i literally did not even care about selling myself... answered questions in a monotone voice, if i was lucky to get a job i deffinitley did NOT excel at it and i was not a hard worker to be straight up BUT not because i didnt want to be i forwhatever reason just felt out of my element? didnt have the drive or desire to be there? to this day the anxiety and depression has got worse and im sure only amplified because of my struggles growing up and just not seeing eye to eye how ur "suppose to act" in this world... can someone explain or give input here? it would help. could alot of my issues be ADD and low frontal lobe activity? a lower output of dopamine compared to other people? i was a worrier growing up to so ADD mixed with depression and anxiety? or is this a form of autism? or aspergers disease? like there are some people who have bi polar 2 and they have a productive side to them atleast ( i am deffinitley not bi polar anything im always just dim, down and anxious for the record) but i know people who are work a holics and stay up 3 or 4 days studying or doing work and sometimes i WISH my brain turned on like that! i just dont get it.... i really dont get it. ive tryed ritalin and vyvanse a few months ago just so what they would do and literally they did nothing for me..... there amphetamines and they didnt do anything?? maybe adderall would have been more potent and noticeable. maybe i was born with damaged frontal lobes of my brain or this is some kind of developmental disorder in the brain? i dont know why my brain is not lit up and working like other peoples... im just trying to help myself out here and understand what the hell is wrong with me all these years

there are certainly people on this forum who know much more about the brain than I do, and they could give you more scientific feedback/ideas, but I don’t think anyone will be able to diagnose you online. I’m sure you’ve seen doctors about this. What do they say? How old are you now?

You mention that in school, you wanted to be done so you could go home and do what you enjoyed. What are those things that you enjoy? Do you have anything currently that gives you lots of joy?

As for the energy part, what’s your diet like? Do you take your temperatures and pulse?

Don’t give up man. Things will get better if you stay committed, which it sounds like you are, so keep it up.

 

[Runenight201]

The inability to learn is probably the most concerning part from what I read. There’s a lot that goes into that but it all has to be nested inside a realm that you care about. What’s a direction you’ve felt like growing in? Something that naturally strikes you as interesting? Having that frame from which you can then perceive everything may help bring in a lot of useful insights.

 

[Recoen]

I don’t mean to be rude but once you have your diagnosis of autism, or ADD, or... what are you going to do with that information? I’m a huge believer of the Pareto principle. To me how that applies to health is if your mitochondria are operating optimally then your cellular water will be structured correctly. That’s the 20% cause that gives the 80% effect. After that, experimenting to find the rest of the 20% effect can occur.
I also think many get hung up on a diagnosis and it becomes their identity. And even though they say they want to get better it turns into a kind of learned helplessness where they sabotage their efforts and they really never do. Because you go from you think is no identity and nothing special about you to “something”.

 

[troubledtimes]

For the past decade I'm 30 years old now. I don't want anything in life really. People asked why didbu go to college I said I had no clue what to go for. I've never had a dream. There's nothing I enjoy to this day. I think depression especially now a days is the big concern. I don't like being around people because that just zaps my energy and I get pretty irritable... All I've know was to just avoid stressors to keep my sanity. Of course I've seen doctors they say general anxiety and depression is what I have. I've tried the SSRIs and had some luck but they stopped working.... I'm not the average case of where a pep talk will work. Find that one thing u like if it's dogs and animals be around dogs and animals. If it's people volunteer at an old folks home and make urself feel good that while thing is just not be. I don't want to be around any people because I'm in a stressed out negative state that would only bring out arguments so I avoid social interaction. I try exercise which been doing it for 2 years no luck. Gave up the fast food and started eating better no luck. I think literally my brain is broken. And to really 180 this and help myself there is no way that a tony Robbins go get them speech is not effective enough for my level of depression. It's been a decade still living in hell... What I've gathered is TMS jump starting certain areas of the brain to get them during again can help. There can be another area of the brain the opposite hemisphere that can be to overactive and calming it down with TMS can help the anxiety side of the spectrum. There's going to be some biological fixing needed with my brain and alot of other people's brain. To be straight up I hate my fuc**n life. Believe me I've tried to help myself don't think it's just me giving up because I'm still searching. Failed 2 add medications 4 SSRIs, 1 snri, thyroid and blood work say I'm fine. I'm interested in tms., Cypro and progesterone. I can give them a shot I'm not sure if they are powerful enough for my issues but I am open.the old tryclic antidepressants have been shown to be more effective than newer ones. Seratonin and dopamine balance each other just taking an ssri will only lower your dopamine and bring down ur frontal lobes... Not good for me and that's why alot of people say they feel blunted and dumb in an ssri basically because u are they drop frontal lobe activity but the older antidepressants balance the brain chemistry much better if you're going to go the medication route. I'm running out of options I may give imiprine a go one of the best tryclic antidepressants and cypro and progesterone a shot. Another thing if these fail is I'm heading to the amen clinics to get a spect scan to show activity in my brain... Alot of data and problems show up very well on those scans and u can better see what areas of your brain are troubled from low or high activity from emotional stress or even from a brain injury u got hit in the head or brain cyst etc and better tailor treatment toward your brain to get help.... This is what I've come up with

 

[R J]

Ever taken psilocybin mushroom or lsd ?

 

[X3CyO]

latley ive been asking for help. id like to hear from an outside perspective weather its good or bad on what i describe as myself. it might be a high functioning level of autism? in alot of ways i was a normal kid i had a select few friends who i would play video games with, pokemon cards were a big thing at that time and the gameboy games. i liked skateboarding and pretty much typical things alot of kids did only i was one of the 2 or 3 kids in the class who didnt do there school work. i could read, write but i literally had no clue why i was at school. i didnt do my homework or barley any work in class. i was not bouncing off the walls speaking very fast either like ADHD but i would say maybe i had the slow witted non attentive ADD? my mind was basically blank through grades 1-8. id try to listen to what the teacher was explaining but my brain was just NOT on i couldnt remember or absorb information. became one of the kids who got bad grades and basically an outcast the other kids thought i was a loser and not cool i was deffinitley judged. but i DID like exercise and always got 75% in gym class because i had good motor skills and of course failed the education and written part of phy ed. recess or lunch break running around i liked that i was social than but in the classroom i deffinitley was the opposite. didnt want to be called on, didnt want to be there, just waited for school to be over with really to go home and enjoy things that i liked. now of course following me to when i turned into an adult these problems followed... going for job interviews i literally did not even care about selling myself... answered questions in a monotone voice, if i was lucky to get a job i deffinitley did NOT excel at it and i was not a hard worker to be straight up BUT not because i didnt want to be i forwhatever reason just felt out of my element? didnt have the drive or desire to be there? to this day the anxiety and depression has got worse and im sure only amplified because of my struggles growing up and just not seeing eye to eye how ur "suppose to act" in this world... can someone explain or give input here? it would help. could alot of my issues be ADD and low frontal lobe activity? a lower output of dopamine compared to other people? i was a worrier growing up to so ADD mixed with depression and anxiety? or is this a form of autism? or aspergers disease? like there are some people who have bi polar 2 and they have a productive side to them atleast ( i am deffinitley not bi polar anything im always just dim, down and anxious for the record) but i know people who are work a holics and stay up 3 or 4 days studying or doing work and sometimes i WISH my brain turned on like that! i just dont get it.... i really dont get it. ive tryed ritalin and vyvanse a few months ago just so what they would do and literally they did nothing for me..... there amphetamines and they didnt do anything?? maybe adderall would have been more potent and noticeable. maybe i was born with damaged frontal lobes of my brain or this is some kind of developmental disorder in the brain? i dont know why my brain is not lit up and working like other peoples... im just trying to help myself out here and understand what the hell is wrong with me all these years

[/QUOTE]



SANS the exercise, i'd grown up just the same; but in love with video games. I was extremely good at school when I was in elementary and then just started falling off the train over time developing a fog and almost a dyslexia of sorts, and an inability to utilize short term memory. Brain just turning off halfway through tests even if I knew how to answer all the questions.



I have a heavy belief in a few factors contributing to this problem.

Biology> Physiology > Psychology> Sociology

Lack of Nutrition > Intestinal/internal Damage > Introversion adaptation forming habit loop > Lack of satisfaction from interaction due to inability to sync up "vibes". All of this leads to bad habits in regards to body language and speech patterns.

A vibe in my mind is when the thoughts, actions, and words can align between two people.
A lot of it isn't logical either and is emotional which can be annoying for some people who may think straightforward, but as a result, can be interpreted as callous, sarcastic, or trigger other emotions, when all it is, is just miscommunication.


My problems started to go away when i started to remove fiber and gums/artificial binders from my diet, and applying things that strengthened the intestine while adding in things like liver sporadically, and ensuring my starches were cooked to avoid it from being retrograded, or undercooked through pressure cooker (Instant pot).

Dabbling with aspirin, turmeric, and baking soda ratios were probably the best thing for "training" the intestine I did BUT, you have to avoid abusing the aspirin because of the ototoxicity. I think low amount consistently was great. I stopped because I overdid high amounts and ended up with mild tinnitus which freaked me out from it, but can be avoided with k2, and the lower amounts of aspirin.

Drinking coffee/ anything that dulls the senses of the intestine through serotonin antagonism is icing on the cake.



Even after changing this, i'm still the same on the outside albeit much different inside. luckily i have a few friends like me who help me realize my flaws with honest criticisms, i feel like i'm becoming more relatable and social by the day.


Thats also a tricky factor in the end too though: In a world gone crazy, the sane guy wishes he wasn't. We all have our quirks, are dumb in some ways, and misunderstood. Some just more than others.

Theres only so much that can be done by just outthinking oneself.



If you work on the above, then id recommend getting into a group hobby after of some sort.

I like to imagine that good health on a microscopic level is proportionately manifested into our physical realm and we act like good mitochondria: Symbiotic, Spreading warmth, Combining with one another (mentally), and producing good energy that can collectively be exchanged to help others reach a similar state.


I am only in my 20s though, so my advice has its limitations.

I hope you can figure things out.

 

[Runenight201]

SANS the exercise, i'd grown up just the same; but in love with video games. I was extremely good at school when I was in elementary and then just started falling off the train over time developing a fog and almost a dyslexia of sorts, and an inability to utilize short term memory. Brain just turning off halfway through tests even if I knew how to answer all the questions.

I have a heavy belief in a few factors contributing to this problem.

Biology> Physiology > Psychology> Sociology

Lack of Nutrition > Intestinal/internal Damage > Introversion adaptation forming habit loop > Lack of satisfaction from interaction due to inability to sync up "vibes". All of this leads to bad habits in regards to body language and speech patterns.

A vibe in my mind is when the thoughts, actions, and words can align between two people.
A lot of it isn't logical either and is emotional which can be annoying for some people who may think straightforward, but as a result, can be interpreted as callous, sarcastic, or trigger other emotions, when all it is, is just miscommunication.

Even after changing this, i'm still the same on the outside albeit much different inside. luckily i have a few friends like me who help me realize my flaws with honest criticisms, i feel like i'm becoming more relatable and social by the day.

I like to imagine that good health on a microscopic level is proportionately manifested into our physical realm and we act like good mitochondria: Symbiotic, Spreading warmth, Combining with one another (mentally), and producing good energy that can collectively be exchanged to help others reach a similar state.

I am only in my 20s though, so my advice has its limitations.

I hope you can figure things out.

You touched on a lot of really good points, and I really like how you're connecting cellular health with the broader subjective health of a human. I bet if one were to look at the average cellular health of a normal, functioning, grounded human being and compare it to the cellular health of a human encountering physiological/psychological strife, there would be some stark contrasts.

When the human being is experiencing generative energy, the desire to explore, connect, understand, and develop is inherent. There is little more that needs to be done besides accept the direction of desire and interest. However, when not experiencing generative energy, we become apathetic beings who seek out the absence of pain and stress.

Maintaining healthy relationships, which is critical to the well-being of an individual, is much more difficult when not experiencing generative energy, and that is for an individual who has learned behaviors which are conducive towards the maintenance of relationships and what's expected of human interactions. If a child never learns these behaviors and then proceeds into adulthood, I would theorize that first a generative energy must be alit inside the being, and then a period of learning must take place where there is increased interactions between other human beings and ultimately meaningful relationships formed from them.

I believe that every individual has the capacity to form generative energy, and thus free themselves of the maladies cause through a stressful, hypometabolic state.

 

[rei]

What you write is very similar to what i endured my first 3 decades, down to not dreaming. The only real difference is that despite of my complete disinterest for school i managed to succeed college with good results. Not because of my grades, they were mediocre, but because i knew better than what the school demanded, studied in my own way, and managed to "ace" the diploma exam which is standardized in the whole country and did not take into account things like how much you licked teacher's **** or cared to go in for class.

I probably had a slightly less severe version of what you suffer from, and the reason was not mild adhd or autism (i also suspected these and studied them) but chronic stress in the body, resulting from postural damage, fascial imbalance/tension probably resulting in chronic sympathetic dominance. You can look at my post history over last 2 years how things have changed, and what started it was after implementing the nutrient and vitamin concepts of RP/this forum i decided to try progesterone. This post should be about 23 months ago. I have probably dreamed more in the past 6 months than during 3 decades before. There is hope and it can come from the most unexpected direction, for me finding this path was a complete accident.

 

[cjm]

could alot of my issues be ADD and low frontal lobe activity?

chronic stress in the body, resulting from postural damage, fascial imbalance/tension probably resulting in chronic sympathetic dominance.

Less low frontal lobe activity per se and more lack of inhibition in the frontal lobe, methinks. You've clearly thought a lot of about your issues. A lack of activity is not your problem. In my experience, ADD or learning troubles are related to the inability to distinguish between stimuli, so the whole world turns into one loud, confusing, painful sensory experience. Replace "old age" with "sickness" in this Ray quote:

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS AND OTHER HORMONE-RELATED BRAIN SYNDROMES (1993)

In old age the brain steroids fall to about 5% of their level in youth. Pregnenolone and DHEA improve memory in old rats, and improve mood stability and mental clarity of old people. Pregnenolone's action in improving the sense of being able to cope with challenges probably reflects a quieting and coordinating of the "sequencing" apparatus of the forebrain, which is the area most sensitive to energy deprivation. This is the area that malfunctions in hyperactive and "dyslexic" children. Weakening of the sequencing and sorting processes probably explains the common old-age inability to extract important sounds from environmental noise, creating a kind of "confusion deafness." Insomnia, worry and "restless legs" at bedtime are problems for many old people, and I think they are variations of the basic energy-depletion problem.​

It's also an inability to pump the brain brake and pivot your attention where it's needed. I think of Ray talking about Aldous Huxley in one of his serotonin newsletters when I need an image for this (the brain is a "reducing valve"):

Serotonin: Effects in disease, aging and inflammation

Aldous Huxley was one of the first people to think about the general biological meaning of drugs such as LSD. Referring to the ideas of Henri Bergson and William Blake, he suggested that the brain usually acts as a filter, or "reducing valve," to make us disregard most of the information we are receiving through our senses, and that the psychedelic drugs temporarily remove the filter, or open the sensory reducing valve. Bergson had suggested that the filter was a practical measure needed to allow us to focus on practical survival needs; Blake had suggested that the doors of perception were kept closed for cultural reasons.​

It's confusing when one's mind is "blank" -- the impression is that nothing is going on. I think you have a lot going on, but your attention has been fixed and you find it hard to look away, to focus your attention elsewhere. I have struggled with this same issue. It prevents you from taking action. But that's a clue: you are in effect paralyzed. If you could just break the spell, the shock state, everything would become clearer, not as burdensome. You might start enjoying just being alive.

I don't want anything in life really.

You do, you just can't see it, hear it, feel it. Your path is always in front of you.

 

[redsun]

latley ive been asking for help. id like to hear from an outside perspective weather its good or bad on what i describe as myself. it might be a high functioning level of autism? in alot of ways i was a normal kid i had a select few friends who i would play video games with, pokemon cards were a big thing at that time and the gameboy games. i liked skateboarding and pretty much typical things alot of kids did only i was one of the 2 or 3 kids in the class who didnt do there school work. i could read, write but i literally had no clue why i was at school. i didnt do my homework or barley any work in class. i was not bouncing off the walls speaking very fast either like ADHD but i would say maybe i had the slow witted non attentive ADD? my mind was basically blank through grades 1-8. id try to listen to what the teacher was explaining but my brain was just NOT on i couldnt remember or absorb information. became one of the kids who got bad grades and basically an outcast the other kids thought i was a loser and not cool i was deffinitley judged. but i DID like exercise and always got 75% in gym class because i had good motor skills and of course failed the education and written part of phy ed. recess or lunch break running around i liked that i was social than but in the classroom i deffinitley was the opposite. didnt want to be called on, didnt want to be there, just waited for school to be over with really to go home and enjoy things that i liked. now of course following me to when i turned into an adult these problems followed... going for job interviews i literally did not even care about selling myself... answered questions in a monotone voice, if i was lucky to get a job i deffinitley did NOT excel at it and i was not a hard worker to be straight up BUT not because i didnt want to be i forwhatever reason just felt out of my element? didnt have the drive or desire to be there? to this day the anxiety and depression has got worse and im sure only amplified because of my struggles growing up and just not seeing eye to eye how ur "suppose to act" in this world... can someone explain or give input here? it would help. could alot of my issues be ADD and low frontal lobe activity? a lower output of dopamine compared to other people? i was a worrier growing up to so ADD mixed with depression and anxiety? or is this a form of autism? or aspergers disease? like there are some people who have bi polar 2 and they have a productive side to them atleast ( i am deffinitley not bi polar anything im always just dim, down and anxious for the record) but i know people who are work a holics and stay up 3 or 4 days studying or doing work and sometimes i WISH my brain turned on like that! i just dont get it.... i really dont get it. ive tryed ritalin and vyvanse a few months ago just so what they would do and literally they did nothing for me..... there amphetamines and they didnt do anything?? maybe adderall would have been more potent and noticeable. maybe i was born with damaged frontal lobes of my brain or this is some kind of developmental disorder in the brain? i dont know why my brain is not lit up and working like other peoples... im just trying to help myself out here and understand what the hell is wrong with me all these years

It may be you have horrendous iron status (iron levels) and/or iron metabolism problems leading to a low dopamine state. If even ritalin/vyvanse does nothing for you, then your ability to make dopamine (and thus downstream catecholamines like noradrenaline, adrenaline which are important for motivation/drive/desire in life) is probably too severely impaired. These drugs work with what already have and amplify them but if you basically have nothing they are useless.

 

[Vileplume]

It may be you have horrendous iron status (iron levels) and/or iron metabolism problems leading to a low dopamine state.

By horrendous iron status, do you mean low or high iron? Is one more probable than the other?

 

[Vileplume]

What you write is very similar to what i endured my first 3 decades, down to not dreaming. The only real difference is that despite of my complete disinterest for school i managed to succeed college with good results. Not because of my grades, they were mediocre, but because i knew better than what the school demanded, studied in my own way, and managed to "ace" the diploma exam which is standardized in the whole country and did not take into account things like how much you licked teacher's **** or cared to go in for class.

I probably had a slightly less severe version of what you suffer from, and the reason was not mild adhd or autism (i also suspected these and studied them) but chronic stress in the body, resulting from postural damage, fascial imbalance/tension probably resulting in chronic sympathetic dominance. You can look at my post history over last 2 years how things have changed, and what started it was after implementing the nutrient and vitamin concepts of RP/this forum i decided to try progesterone. This post should be about 23 months ago. I have probably dreamed more in the past 6 months than during 3 decades before. There is hope and it can come from the most unexpected direction, for me finding this path was a complete accident.

How did you use progesterone to help you? I’m curious about using it too, but nervous about the “feminizing effects” Peat mentions and people on this forum post about. What was your dosing routine? I’ll look for your post.

 

[redsun]

By horrendous iron status, do you mean low or high iron? Is one more probable than the other?

Low iron status being more problematic for brain function. High iron levels will at least have decent dopaminergic function, OP sounds like he has very little of anything, like he is just floating through life. Iron deficiency will also affect other neurotransmitters not just the catecholamines. Low iron levels in the brain will mean worsened cognition, attention since iron is heavily involved in these brain functions and brain development.

 

[troubledtimes]

Less low frontal lobe activity per se and more lack of inhibition in the frontal lobe, methinks. You've clearly thought a lot of about your issues. A lack of activity is not your problem. In my experience, ADD or learning troubles are related to the inability to distinguish between stimuli, so the whole world turns into one loud, confusing, painful sensory experience. Replace "old age" with "sickness" in this Ray quote:

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS AND OTHER HORMONE-RELATED BRAIN SYNDROMES (1993)

In old age the brain steroids fall to about 5% of their level in youth. Pregnenolone and DHEA improve memory in old rats, and improve mood stability and mental clarity of old people. Pregnenolone's action in improving the sense of being able to cope with challenges probably reflects a quieting and coordinating of the "sequencing" apparatus of the forebrain, which is the area most sensitive to energy deprivation. This is the area that malfunctions in hyperactive and "dyslexic" children. Weakening of the sequencing and sorting processes probably explains the common old-age inability to extract important sounds from environmental noise, creating a kind of "confusion deafness." Insomnia, worry and "restless legs" at bedtime are problems for many old people, and I think they are variations of the basic energy-depletion problem.​

It's also an inability to pump the brain brake and pivot your attention where it's needed. I think of Ray talking about Aldous Huxley in one of his serotonin newsletters when I need an image for this (the brain is a "reducing valve"):

Serotonin: Effects in disease, aging and inflammation

Aldous Huxley was one of the first people to think about the general biological meaning of drugs such as LSD. Referring to the ideas of Henri Bergson and William Blake, he suggested that the brain usually acts as a filter, or "reducing valve," to make us disregard most of the information we are receiving through our senses, and that the psychedelic drugs temporarily remove the filter, or open the sensory reducing valve. Bergson had suggested that the filter was a practical measure needed to allow us to focus on practical survival needs; Blake had suggested that the doors of perception were kept closed for cultural reasons.​

It's confusing when one's mind is "blank" -- the impression is that nothing is going on. I think you have a lot going on, but your attention has been fixed and you find it hard to look away, to focus your attention elsewhere. I have struggled with this same issue. It prevents you from taking action. But that's a clue: you are in effect paralyzed. If you could just break the spell, the shock state, everything would become clearer, not as burdensome. You might start enjoying just being alive.



You do, you just can't see it, hear it, feel it. Your path is always in front of you.

paralyzed is exactly a great way to explain how i feel. i feel alot of anxious depressed energy but it goes no where and im stuck not wanting to leave the house or do ANYTHING. completley shut down. so youre saying pregesterone and dhea would be the main thing to try? where do you buy dhea?

 

[troubledtimes]

Low iron status being more problematic for brain function. High iron levels will at least have decent dopaminergic function, OP sounds like he has very little of anything, like he is just floating through life. Iron deficiency will also affect other neurotransmitters not just the catecholamines. Low iron levels in the brain will mean worsened cognition, attention since iron is heavily involved in these brain functions and brain development.

interesting point but i take a high quality multivitamin from BrainMD called brain and body power which has iron and all the essential vitamins and minerals. i dont know if i would be low in iron?

 

[redsun]

interesting point but i take a high quality multivitamin from BrainMD called brain and body power which has iron and all the essential vitamins and minerals. i dont know if i would be low in iron?

There is no iron in that product, but plenty of other trace minerals unless I am looking at the wrong product. So you are getting a lot of the other trace minerals which is good I suppose, but no iron. Even if it had DV value of iron in it, that's not enough to fix deficiency when taking into account iron absorption's which is low already but iron taken with those other trace minerals in the multivitamin will further reduce its absorption.

If you did have poor iron status you need high dose iron therapy and to avoid absorption inhibitors when taking it. Iron from typical foods we eat and the small amounts that multivitamins can be enough to maintain iron levels in the body, but it won't raise them.

 

[Peatful]

latley ive been asking for help. id like to hear from an outside perspective weather its good or bad on what i describe as myself. it might be a high functioning level of autism? in alot of ways i was a normal kid i had a select few friends who i would play video games with, pokemon cards were a big thing at that time and the gameboy games. i liked skateboarding and pretty much typical things alot of kids did only i was one of the 2 or 3 kids in the class who didnt do there school work. i could read, write but i literally had no clue why i was at school. i didnt do my homework or barley any work in class. i was not bouncing off the walls speaking very fast either like ADHD but i would say maybe i had the slow witted non attentive ADD? my mind was basically blank through grades 1-8. id try to listen to what the teacher was explaining but my brain was just NOT on i couldnt remember or absorb information. became one of the kids who got bad grades and basically an outcast the other kids thought i was a loser and not cool i was deffinitley judged. but i DID like exercise and always got 75% in gym class because i had good motor skills and of course failed the education and written part of phy ed. recess or lunch break running around i liked that i was social than but in the classroom i deffinitley was the opposite. didnt want to be called on, didnt want to be there, just waited for school to be over with really to go home and enjoy things that i liked. now of course following me to when i turned into an adult these problems followed... going for job interviews i literally did not even care about selling myself... answered questions in a monotone voice, if i was lucky to get a job i deffinitley did NOT excel at it and i was not a hard worker to be straight up BUT not because i didnt want to be i forwhatever reason just felt out of my element? didnt have the drive or desire to be there? to this day the anxiety and depression has got worse and im sure only amplified because of my struggles growing up and just not seeing eye to eye how ur "suppose to act" in this world... can someone explain or give input here? it would help. could alot of my issues be ADD and low frontal lobe activity? a lower output of dopamine compared to other people? i was a worrier growing up to so ADD mixed with depression and anxiety? or is this a form of autism? or aspergers disease? like there are some people who have bi polar 2 and they have a productive side to them atleast ( i am deffinitley not bi polar anything im always just dim, down and anxious for the record) but i know people who are work a holics and stay up 3 or 4 days studying or doing work and sometimes i WISH my brain turned on like that! i just dont get it.... i really dont get it. ive tryed ritalin and vyvanse a few months ago just so what they would do and literally they did nothing for me..... there amphetamines and they didnt do anything?? maybe adderall would have been more potent and noticeable. maybe i was born with damaged frontal lobes of my brain or this is some kind of developmental disorder in the brain? i dont know why my brain is not lit up and working like other peoples... im just trying to help myself out here and understand what the hell is wrong with me all these years

[/QUOTE]
You actually sound quite bright.
Probably above average “intelligence”.
Same for @X3CyO and @rei

For the anxiety piece- keep your metabolism up and limit supplements with good nutrition instead.

Don’t let the world define you.

Look at Temple Grandin, Mozart, Warhol, Michelangelo, Darwin, Thomas Jefferson, Einstein, Bobby Fischer, etc etc
All on “the spectrum”.

Nurture your creative mind. Stop worrying about this. Surround yourself with two people that enjoy you- and vice versa.

 

[Vileplume]

You actually sound quite bright.
Probably above average “intelligence”.
Same for @X3CyO and @rei

For the anxiety piece- keep your metabolism up and limit supplements with good nutrition instead.

Don’t let the world define you.

Look at Temple Grandin, Mozart, Warhol, Michelangelo, Darwin, Thomas Jefferson, Einstein, Bobby Fischer, etc etc
All on “the spectrum”.

Nurture your creative mind. Stop worrying about this. Surround yourself with two people that enjoy you- and vice versa.

this is beautiful to read