Social Anxiety Ruined My Life

Joined
Oct 5, 2016
Messages
785
Age
36
Location
Florida
I believe you have depression

And you live on stress hormone

Even if you don't think so

A year ago I used to have good fiance (she is doctor )

Anyway I was feeling the same for a month
Then after that I got pain all over my body .
My bones were in a severe pain

So one day I shared that with her

She told me that's nothing but depression

She told me " you have to take a break from study and work and visit your parents "

I swear
The moment I saw them
I got healed 100 percent

I just wanted to share maybe you would be interested

Good luck for all of us
 

amethyst

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Joined
Oct 27, 2016
Messages
533
My journey before being here was:
- Psychologists (lots of them)
- Meditation/Spirituality
- Diets

And I completely agree with everything you've said. You clearly know this stuff. I've learned a lot about it when I was reading things regarding spirituality, but I couldn't never express myself to others about it like you did here.

I mean, do you know what OCD feels like to the point of not being able to leave home?

That's the thing. All those beautiful texts (and I agree with all of them) never helped me dealing with the symptoms I have.
I mean, if I was able to survive doing nothing, those words would be enough for me. But I am 25 years old and I've failed all the attempts on college (4 different courses). I've never achieved anything in my life and I am still not financially independent.
None of those words helped me having success on school or having a job. Like all those years going to psychologists, with all the conversations and beautiful things they've said to me, never make me really change when I had to be functional (but I've learned a lot with them, I can say). If I am a person that can't conclude some work on time, I'll get fired.

You see, we have to be functional. And I am not a functional person and I never was.

Of course none of those nice words helped you. Because you weren't ready to receive them. They are just words until you do. There's a saying "when the student is ready, the teacher appears". I am a big believer in that. When someone is ready, at the right time, things change for them. Or rather, they change. Only you can know when that might be. But at least be open to the possibility that things can change for the better in ways you wouldn't expect. Your circumstances might change. You may get answers out of dire circumstances, but you wouldn't learn the lessons from them any other way, except by going thru them to get there.. Your perspective about how you "see" things might completely change. All is not lost. It just might be very different than what you thought. There's virtue in patience and in waiting.
 

JCastro

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Joined
Jun 8, 2016
Messages
101
You can try magnesium glycinate, taurate, or epsom salts to relax the whole overexcited system you have. Lithium orotate does a similar thing, like 5 mg a day. So Mg, Li, and Vitamin D since it's dopaminergic, and social phobia peeps apparently have screwed up D2 '''''receptors'''''.

I agree with other posters about meditation...try to breath meditate, or body scan, etc. at 5 minutes a day and build up to 20 minutes or an hour. If you can get to say, an hour or two of meditation a day, that should help significantly! And just learning and practicing mindfulness as you go about your day will probably ease your distress and help you let go of that emotional pain in social anxiety.

When I stop meditating, bad emotions can become so overwhelming that it's daily torture. Within the first day of returning to daily meditation, I feel very relieved and can let those bad feelings just kind of bother me and then let them go much faster, and it's much less painful.

And I scoffed at it for years, but self-loving, self-compassionate affirmations repeated in voice or in your head are sooo good as well. Like, to make that a habit instead of any negative voice. Even when you feel horrible or stressed, instead of saying something morbid you can go "I'm okay, I love myself, I'm a good person," etc. and according to NLP, even if that sounds like bull**** at first your brain inevitably starts believing it at the lower subconscious level.
 

Regina

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Aug 17, 2016
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@Regina Interesting posts, I always enjoy what you write and talk about. Would you say pregnenolone had the biggest/most important impact on your social anxiety, or a combination of the things you are doing?
Thank you raypeatclips.
Aikido was my big game-changer. It hits the most notes for me.
Then, when I penetrated the Heart Sutra. (This is where things get weird). The Heart Sutra is the big blast-through for me and the reason I can now do aikido with no fear. The blast-through was spontaneous. The realization happened before I even had translated it. We used to chant it at my old dojo.
One night, I had the blast-through awakening/insight and then raced home and googled the translation.
But I need these things (aikido and heart sutra) as maintenance. I revert easily to social avoidance, dyslexia, stammering, spatial issues, dread and fear of nasty people.
To be honest, what I think the condition is is E.S.P. I really dread nasty people's bad vibes.
Reciting Heart Sutra is like a supplement for me on a day I will step on to the mat.
On days I can't do an aikido class then the anxiety symptoms do come back.

In any case, where I find myself now health-wise, is that pregnenolone is a wonderful supplement for me and whatever it is doing.
Androsterone is also a good one for me.
Kuinone, of course, was great for my body for aikido.

The nasty people thing is like living in the movie The Birds. You have to go through life with these birds pecking at you. They don't want to let you be. They don't even want you to have a seat at the table.

fyi, here is the heart sutra. It has nothing to do with religion whatsoever. It is just a frame of mind and I came to it before seeing it in words. Words definitely are not the way to transmit its meaning though.
Maka Han Nya Hara Mita Shin Gyo (Heart Sutra in Japanese)

KAN JI ZAI BO SA GYO JIN HAN-NYA HA RA MI TA JI
SHO KEN GO ON KAI KU DO IS-SAI KU YAKU
SHA RI SHI SHIKI FU I KU KU FU I SHIKI
SHIKI SOKU ZE KU KU SOKU ZE SHIKI
JU SO GYO SHIKI YAKU BU NYO ZE
SHA RI SHI ZE SHO HO KU SO FU SHO FU METSU
FU KU FUJO FU ZO FU GEN
ZE KO KU CHU MU SHIKI MU JU SO GYO SHIKI
MU GEN-NI BI ZES-SHIN I
MU SHIKI SHO KO MI SOKU HO
MU GEN KAI NAI SHI MU I SHIKI KAI
MU MU MYO YAKU MU MU MYO JIN NAI SHI
MU RO SHI YAKU MU RO SHI JIN
MU KU SHU METSU DO
MU CHI YAKU MU TOKU I MU SHO TOK'-KO
BO DAI SAT-TA E HAN-NYA HA RA MI TA KO
SHIM-MU KEI GE MU KEI GE KO MU U KU FU
ON RI IS-SAI TEN DO MU SO KU GYO NE HAN
SAN ZE SHO BUTSU E HAN-NYA HA RA MI TA KO
TOKU A NOKU TA RA SAM-MYAKU SAM-BO DAI
KO CHI HAN-NYA HA RA MI TA
ZE DAI JIN SHU ZE DAI MYO SHU
ZE MU JO SHU ZE MU TO TO SHU
NO JO IS-SAI KU SHIN JITSU FU KO
KO SETSU HAN-NYA HA RA MI TA SHU
SOKU SETSU SHU WATSU
GYA TEI GYA TEI HA RA GYA TEI HARA SO GYA TEI
BO JI SOWA KA HAN-NYA SHIN GYO

The Great Prajna Paramita Heart Sutra (translation)

Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, practising deep Prajna Paramita,
clearly saw that all five skandhas are empty,
transforming all suffering and distress.
Shariputra, form is no other than emptiness,
emptiness no other than form;
form is exactly emptiness, emptiness exactly form;
sensation, perception, mental reaction, consciousness are also like this.
Shariputra, all things are essentially empty -
not born, not destroyed; not stained, not pure; without loss, without gain.
Therefore in emptiness there is no form, no sensation, perception, mental reaction, consciousness;
no eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, mind,
no colour, sound, smell, taste, touch, object of thought;
no seeing and so on to no thinking;
no ignorance and also no ending of ignorance,
and so on to no old age and death
and also no ending of old age and death;
no suffering, cause of suffering, cessation, path;
no wisdom and no attainment. Since there is nothing to attain,
the Bodhisattva lives by Prajna Paramita,
with no hindrance in the mind; no hindrance and therefore no fear;
far beyond delusive thinking right here is Nirvana.
All Buddhas of past, present, and future live by Prajna Paramita,
attaining Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi.
Therefore know that Prajna Paramita is
the great mantra, the vivid mantra,
the unsurpassed mantra, the supreme mantra,
which completely removes all suffering.
This is truth, not mere formality.
Therefore set forth the Prajna Paramita mantra,
set forth this mantra and proclaim:
Gate Gate Paragate Parasamgate
Bodhi Svaha!

That last phrase means "Gone. Gone beyond. Gone beyond the gateless gate."
It basically means **** 'Em.
 

ATP

Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2015
Messages
279
Here's some real medicine for you: You're a coward and a crybaby.
What is wrong with you? Show some empathy you disgusting person. Clearly @Social anxiety is suffering and is needing help and you come along and make a comment like that.
 

Regina

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Aug 17, 2016
Messages
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Chicago
Of course none of those nice words helped you. Because you weren't ready to receive them. They are just words until you do. There's a saying "when the student is ready, the teacher appears". I am a big believer in that. When someone is ready, at the right time, things change for them. Or rather, they change. Only you can know when that might be. But at least be open to the possibility that things can change for the better in ways you wouldn't expect. Your circumstances might change. You may get answers out of dire circumstances, but you wouldn't learn the lessons from them any other way, except by going thru them to get there.. Your perspective about how you "see" things might completely change. All is not lost. It just might be very different than what you thought. There's virtue in patience and in waiting.
:thumbsup:
 

DaveFoster

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Jul 23, 2015
Messages
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Location
Portland, Oregon
You are male? You've tried pills or cream?
Neither; I take progesterone in DMSO; haidut's Progestene is a good product that's similar, and Dr. Peat's Progest-E is a good one in vitamin E.
 

lexis

Member
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
430
I'm 23, male. Social anxiety ruined my life.

I've tried SSRIs, antipsychotics, etc. Nothing worked.

Taurine helped me because it increases GABA-A receptor activity. Zinc, too.

There isn't something wrong with my serotonin. There is something wrong with my GABA-A receptor.

How to cure this disorder? It ruined my life.

Overactive adrenals may be the cause. Marjoram is said to revitalize adrenals.
 

Syncopated

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Jan 6, 2017
Messages
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Canada
Ever try reading the King James Bible?

I have only 1 year of pre-med university and have spent the last 17 years reading online physiology, primarily Peat, but I find nothing relaxes my soul and brings me peace like the King James Bible. Read the books of Ruth and Esther. Proverbs is good too.
 
Joined
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Messages
1,972
I cured my social anxiety by looking pictures at the Hubble ultra deep field. Every speck of light is an entire galaxy. And also looking at pictures of nebulae. That combined with believing that when the brain dies, we die, made me realize that our lives are the main event and there will be no encore. You will be dead for all of eternity once you die so you must enjoy every day you have left. That's why suicide is stupid because you're going to die eventually anyway so it's stupid kill yourself now when nature is going to do it for you. Also, you're 23 so your frontal lobe isn't fully developed:

"The frontal lobe is the last part of the brain to fully develop to it's adult maturation, sometimes this area is not completed until age 25. The frontal lobe is where the adult functions of planning, setting priorities, organizing thoughts, suppressing impulses, and weighing the consequences of actions take place. So the part of the brain that makes you responsible is not mature until early adulthood." - An excerpt

Also eating enough carbohydrate, whether from ripe sweet fruit or properly cooked starch, helped my brain fell satisfied. I had panic attacks when I was high fat vegan, high protein paleo, high fat Weston Price, and it wasn't until I found Peat that I realized how important carbohydrate was. I don't agree with Peat on every single little thing but I'm thankful for coming across his thoughts on carbohydrates when I did because everyone else was saying that all carbohydrate should be zero and insulin is the worst thing ever. They were so wrong. I got ganked by the crossfit, WAP Sally Fallon, paleo, low carb crowd of angry hucksters. I was so dumb. I should have just read a physiolgy textbook about glycogen and glucose and what ketosis really is, a hibernation like state for humans to survive a famine, not a state to live and be in for life.

Untitled.jpeg
 

Regina

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I cured my social anxiety by looking pictures at the Hubble ultra deep field. Every speck of light is an entire galaxy. And also looking at pictures of nebulae. That combined with believing that when the brain dies, we die, made me realize that our lives are the main event and there will be no encore. You will be dead for all of eternity once you die so you must enjoy every day you have left. That's why suicide is stupid because you're going to die eventually anyway so it's stupid kill yourself now when nature is going to do it for you. Also, you're 23 so your frontal lobe isn't fully developed:

"The frontal lobe is the last part of the brain to fully develop to it's adult maturation, sometimes this area is not completed until age 25. The frontal lobe is where the adult functions of planning, setting priorities, organizing thoughts, suppressing impulses, and weighing the consequences of actions take place. So the part of the brain that makes you responsible is not mature until early adulthood." - An excerpt

Also eating enough carbohydrate, whether from ripe sweet fruit or properly cooked starch, helped my brain fell satisfied. I had panic attacks when I was high fat vegan, high protein paleo, high fat Weston Price, and it wasn't until I found Peat that I realized how important carbohydrate was. I don't agree with Peat on every single little thing but I'm thankful for coming across his thoughts on carbohydrates when I did because everyone else was saying that all carbohydrate should be zero and insulin is the worst thing ever. They were so wrong. I got ganked by the crossfit, WAP Sally Fallon, paleo, low carb crowd of angry hucksters. I was so dumb. I should have just read a physiolgy textbook about glycogen and glucose and what ketosis really is, a hibernation like state for humans to survive a famine, not a state to live and be in for life.

View attachment 4393
Woot!!
 

Peaterpeater

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I believe anxiety is real and can not be cured by any amount of positive thinking or even mediation. Those things may help but are more like a temporary band-aid fix. From my experience my anxiety stemmed from hormonal imbalance, most probably due to high cortisol/estrogen. My confidence suffered greatly and so did every other area of my life. It was only when I began to take Dhea that my hormones balanced and dopamine most likely increased that my anxiety greatly diminished and energy and confidence were restored. I wish you all the best but you must find your own way, what works for you. Keep researching and experimenting (safely). Ray Peat recommends only very low doses of Dhea (only 5 mg) per dose topically (for good reason). A larger dose may be unsafe as it can increase your anxiety by converting into more estrogen.
 

LUH 3417

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Oct 22, 2016
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This happened to me too... I was so criticized, but they were my "friends" and I had to see them everyday.
My daily thoughts were always like "I wish I could be like you/that person."


Sometimes I wonder about this... I mean, I wish, I just wish I could not rely on anything.
But it's incredible when a simple supplement makes the difference of being able to look to the eyes of the other person and not feeling anxious during a conversation or feeling relaxed and not having the shoulders always near the ears.
As I said, I don't like to rely on them either, but there's something happening here for sure.
Do you exercise? You mention your shoulders are up to your ears when conversing. A strong yoga practice and pranayama will help with that. Looking at anxiety from a strictly materialist view may keep you anxious. Maybe your anxiety is not a pathology but a message from your body to be more introspective about yourself and what your fears are. You can spend a lot of time/money/health messing with supplements and hormones. I'd say try less invasive approaches first.
 
OP
S
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Jan 6, 2017
Messages
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I believe anxiety is real and can not be cured by any amount of positive thinking or even mediation. Those things may help but are more like a temporary band-aid fix. From my experience my anxiety stemmed from hormonal imbalance, most probably due to high cortisol/estrogen. My confidence suffered greatly and so did every other area of my life. It was only when I began to take Dhea that my hormones balanced and dopamine most likely increased that my anxiety greatly diminished and energy and confidence were restored. I wish you all the best but you must find your own way, what works for you. Keep researching and experimenting (safely). Ray Peat recommends only very low doses of Dhea (only 5 mg) per dose topically (for good reason). A larger dose may be unsafe as it can increase your anxiety by converting into more estrogen.
My DHEA-S level is in 400s. It is good. No need DHEA.
 

blackkzeus

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Joined
Feb 25, 2016
Messages
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I've suffered from severe social anxiety. My social anxiety was so bad at one point that every interaction with a person that was not family and or my one friend was awkward. Horrible point in my life. I believe for the most part social anxiety is a biological issue, probably hormonal. I think the brain is being plagued by stress hormones which causes the individual to be in a fight or flight state. I knew this guy that used to do steroids then one day he took too much by accident and screwed up his hormones. He said ever since that day he's been scared of everything for no reason. He now takes SSRIS to cope.

Anyway, what I did to get over my social anxiety was no fap, meditation, and going to the gym. Also, taking modafinil. Modafinil completely eliminated my social anxiety to the point where when I was off it I didn't feel socially anxious. Sometimes we need a drug to temporarily rewire our brain so we can see the world in a different way and bring back those views to our usual perception of the world.

Modafinil raises dopamine and stimulates alpha-1 receptors. Alpha receptors largely mediate aggressive/ assertive behavior. I feel like social anxiety sufferers have low alpha activity because they're usually too afraid to be assertive. What's interesting is that DHT raises alpha-1 receptor density. Which supports my claim that hormonal imbalance maybe the cause for social anxiety.
 
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blackkzeus

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Feb 25, 2016
Messages
96
I believe anxiety is real and can not be cured by any amount of positive thinking or even mediation. Those things may help but are more like a temporary band-aid fix. From my experience my anxiety stemmed from hormonal imbalance, most probably due to high cortisol/estrogen. My confidence suffered greatly and so did every other area of my life. It was only when I began to take Dhea that my hormones balanced and dopamine most likely increased that my anxiety greatly diminished and energy and confidence were restored. I wish you all the best but you must find your own way, what works for you. Keep researching and experimenting (safely). Ray Peat recommends only very low doses of Dhea (only 5 mg) per dose topically (for good reason). A larger dose may be unsafe as it can increase your anxiety by converting into more estrogen.


How old were you when you started taking DHEA
 

Dante

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Sep 9, 2016
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social phobia peeps apparently have screwed up D2 '''''receptors'''''.
.
There is a hypothesis that overconsumption of internet porn with all the novelty can desensitize D2 receptors. It's like being in a refractory period all the time
 

Regina

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I think it is animalistic to think "at least I am not them" to push down social anxiety. I think that is ultimately not a good pathway or outlook. If we size up every other person we see as a dyadic relationship of who's better off, ranking each other in a dualistic way, to boost ourselves up, well, it starts to be pretty predatory. Or even creepy; like wanting only to surround yourself with "lesser" people only.

When people keep referring to things as a "band-aid" or temporary fix, I think 'so is eating.' Eating temporarily band-aids hunger. Yea, if I don't eat, I get hungry. If I don't do aikido, I begin to feel less disambiguated. If I don't remind myself of Heart Sutra, I get butterflies driving to aikido. If I don't keep my stress hormones in check, I stammer and feel panicky. If I don't sleep, I get tired. If I don't put on my winter coat, I will be cold outside.

A trendy thing happening in Chicago now is restaurant's having Salsa dancing clubs. I think that could be fun. It shares with aikido the practice of changing partners constantly and partnering with many strangers and trying to sync up with each other.
We call it ukemi (receiving the technique). It feels wonderful when your ukemi is right with the energy that is happening. Metaphorically, that helps maintain the coherency of me, the organism. We try to do the same thing; have pro-metabolic synced-up energy, i.e., no traffic-jams, no lingering, no gaps, not being attached to what happened a millisecond ago, not anticipating what is going to happen.

This is a good teacher trying to teach a kid how to do that: being only attached to the energy that is here in any given moment. He's keeping it simple by limiting it to the floor, one attack, one pin, but varying up other parameters according to what he thinks this student can tolerate.

 

Ukall

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May 21, 2016
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Of course none of those nice words helped you. Because you weren't ready to receive them. They are just words until you do.
It's curious because when I heard them for the first time, I seemed to be ready for it. I mean, I listened to them and I had this feeling of "That's it. Exactly! All my life thinking and... This is so easy.".
There's a saying "when the student is ready, the teacher appears". I am a big believer in that. When someone is ready, at the right time, things change for them. Or rather, they change. Only you can know when that might be. But at least be open to the possibility that things can change for the better in ways you wouldn't expect. Your circumstances might change. You may get answers out of dire circumstances, but you wouldn't learn the lessons from them any other way, except by going thru them to get there.
I believe in that too.
Even in the superficial meaning, it also makes sense (regarding learning some subject, for example).
Your perspective about how you "see" things might completely change. All is not lost. It just might be very different than what you thought. There's virtue in patience and in waiting.
They have already changed. Actually, they will continue changing.
But I changed a lot about myself. I mean, I used to be a guy who got drunk several times for fun, messing around and not real care about anything. Back then, when I tried to change myself forcefully, so to speak, it never happened.
All of a sudden those things I used to do seem so weird right now and I don't identify myself with them at all.
Now, I'm here trying to rearrange my life (perhaps forcefully...? I don't know. But I can't just be waiting till someone helps me like a crybaby. That's what I have been doing during 15 years. This was also a change, one could say)
However, changes are continuously happen... So I really don't know what comes next.

You know how to talk about this stuff. I wonder what have you been reading :P
 

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