Social Anxiety Ruined My Life

[Bahaa El wazzan]

Wow @Regina interesting

Bravo

 

[amethyst]

Sometimes I wonder about this... I mean, I wish, I just wish I could not rely on anything.
But it's incredible when a simple supplement makes the difference of being able to look to the eyes of the other person and not feeling anxious during a conversation or feeling relaxed and not having the shoulders always near the ears.
As I said, I don't like to rely on them either, but there's something happening here for sure.

But what you are doing is giving other people more power than you should. They are people just like you. Flaws and all.I know this sounds like a greeting card or a self help saying, but you are more valuable than you realize simply for being you because you are unique as there is only one you, and there is no need to be anxious during a conversation. Other people's opinions are not important unless they are opinions that help you move in a more positive direction. And affirm you.Otherwise, they just aren't. That's the reality of the situation.If you take things that help your body and mind to be healthier, that's one thing. But drugs and substances that just act as a Band-Aid and just act like a crutch for what's really going on, which is you feeling intimidated by others, then you have to examine why you are taking them in the first place. And why you are letting other people intimidate you and make you feel uncomfortable.

 

[Bahaa El wazzan]

I was doing meditation now

So I remembered you there


Could it be high estrogen ? Or high aromatization?

 

[Regina]

Me too. I can't even go to university because of social anxiety. Later, I found that you don't have to have a job to make a living. Stock market trading is the best way to make money.

I like Pure Science brand Pregnenolone 100mg. I recently bought Haidut's Stressnon and Pansterone. Both are wonderful.

I would encourage you not to turn to the stock market. Yes. Invest for your future. But do so passively. That game is an arm's race. It's like using a shovel vs a backhoe. Nearly every home trader gets creamed. If it really interests you, you have to cut your teeth on the street and develop a book.
Have you read Tyler's story on the forum? Check him out. He is a young commercial fisherman.
I have a friend who is in his 60's now. He got his heart broken from his high school sweetheart. He joined the merchant marines and bought rental property every year. He retired very comfortably at 50 to a fabulous ocean front home. He is still kinda shy and has an adorable wife). I don't think you have to change who you are. He found a way without having to deal that much with social climbing.

 

[Social anxiety]

You understood me wrong. I don't want to change who I am. I am not shy person. I have social anxiety. It is a real disorder.

"Social anxiety disorder"

It is NOT about personality.

Let's say you have low pregnenolone and social anxiety. What would you think when people say: "don't change yourself, accept who you are"?

Like I said, it is not me. It is a disorder. It's hormonal. But I understand you. Many of people who have lack of confidence think that they have social anxiety disorder. But they don't.

I don't have lack of confidence. I am not a shy person, too.

 

[Regina]

You understood me wrong. I don't want to change who I am. I am not shy person. I have social anxiety. It is a real disorder.

"Social anxiety disorder"

It is NOT about personality.

Let's say you have low pregnenolone and social anxiety. What would you think when people say: "don't change yourself, accept who you are"?

Like I said, it is not me. It is a disorder. It's hormonal. But I understand you. Many of people who have lack of confidence think that they have social anxiety disorder. But they don't.

I don't have lack of confidence. I am not a shy person, too.

Okay. I looked it up. I'd still say pregnenolone is worth trying.
For myself, I started on 100mg in the morning. If I trained (aikido), I took another when I got home. So, 200mg in total per day for maybe 2 wks and then I cut back. Maybe also Metergoline would be worth a try.
How are your pulses and temps?

 

[Social anxiety]

Okay. I looked it up. I'd still say pregnenolone is worth trying.
For myself, I started on 100mg in the morning. If I trained (aikido), I took another when I got home. So, 200mg in total per day for maybe 2 wks and then I cut back. Maybe also Metergoline would be worth a try.
How are your pulses and temps?

Pulses and temps are good.

I know that women need high dose of pregnenolone but you still take too much.

 

[Regina]

Pulses and temps are good.

I know that women need high dose of pregnenolone but you still take too much.

It was like some kind of re-set for me while I was going through a rapid change of life events and pile-on of simultaneous "stuff." Now usually, I just do 4 drops Pansterone. I go by feel.

 

[Social anxiety]

It was like some kind of re-set for me while I was going through a rapid change of life events and pile-on of simultaneous "stuff." Now usually, I just do 4 drops Pansterone. I go by feel.

Some of people say pregnenolone caused derealisation. Is it true? This scared me.

 

[Ukall]

They might be "frenemies." Every picture of me as a little kid has my skinny bony shoulders near my ears.
It's taken a lot of years for me to drop them. Aikido/zen training obviously did make for immense changes, but then I also had an "all at once" experience. Some insight or enlightenment or awakening (a kensho in japanese) only maybe 10 months ago. It's very sudden. In a millisecond, literally everything disambiguates and becomes empty. I don't know. But it happened. My shoulders just dropped; I felt bliss and I have been fearless on the mat.

I have been always into spirituality and enlightenment. These are subjects that interest me very much.
Before being here, I was being followed by a physician with supplements that I have never tried them before in my life.
During that time, I felt so well with myself and all the "living in the Now" and doing meditation made even more sense.
However, I wasn't still having success at school... My OCD and ADHD never helped me when I had to really work.
Over time, I was taking less and less supplements and physical symptoms were starting to appear again (the one who frustrated me most was constipation which lead me to having hemorrhoids again). And she didn't me explain me what was happening... She would always tell that it was me that I achieve the state I was. All me (not supplements, of course...).
So I started to investigate about different diets and I end up on a very high carb diet.
Well, all I can say is that my constipation was gone... However, I never felt so cold and with excess adrenaline during my life.
My shoulders were even more near my ears these days...

What I want to say with this is, since then I took a break being into spirituality almost completely. Not that I doesn't matter to me anymore. It's just I can't achieve the peace I was having before when I was doing meditation, for instance. It's like, when I felt so calm with the supplements, all those things made even more sense to me. When I was doing a High Carb diet, I couldn't even meditate because how uncomfortable I was feeling.

So, I've concluded that indeed diets can affect me, that's why I am here today.
Now if I am ever going to find something that what works for me... I... I just don't know.

But what you are doing is giving other people more power than you should. They are people just like you. Flaws and all.I know this sounds like a greeting card or a self help saying, but you are more valuable than you realize simply for being you because you are unique as there is only one you, and there is no need to be anxious during a conversation. Other people's opinions are not important unless they are opinions that help you move in a more positive direction. And affirm you.Otherwise, they just aren't. That's the reality of the situation.If you take things that help your body and mind to be healthier, that's one thing. But drugs and substances that just act as a Band-Aid and just act like a crutch for what's really going on, which is you feeling intimidated by others, then you have to examine why you are taking them in the first place. And why you are letting other people intimidate you and make you feel uncomfortable.

My journey before being here was:
- Psychologists (lots of them)
- Meditation/Spirituality
- Diets

And I completely agree with everything you've said. You clearly know this stuff. I've learned a lot about it when I was reading things regarding spirituality, but I couldn't never express myself to others about it like you did here.

I mean, do you know what OCD feels like to the point of not being able to leave home?

That's the thing. All those beautiful texts (and I agree with all of them) never helped me dealing with the symptoms I have.
I mean, if I was able to survive doing nothing, those words would be enough for me. But I am 25 years old and I've failed all the attempts on college (4 different courses). I've never achieved anything in my life and I am still not financially independent.
None of those words helped me having success on school or having a job. Like all those years going to psychologists, with all the conversations and beautiful things they've said to me, never make me really change when I had to be functional (but I've learned a lot with them, I can say). If I am a person that can't conclude some work on time, I'll get fired.

You see, we have to be functional. And I am not a functional person and I never was.

 

[Regina]

Some of people say pregnenolone caused derealisation. Is it true? This scared me.

Oh no. Not at all. Not for me anyway.
And btw, having read the wikipedia entry on social anxiety disorder, I would say I dealt with this most of life. It's hard to know what came first: the hormonal derangement/"neurotransmitter" or having a hyper-critical mother and being part of a huge clan with a lot of social pressure (children are seen, not heard atmosphere), Catholic schools until college. As well, I was pushed hard into beauty contests, modeling, performance arts. So, it's not blame-shifting but more that I might not be the right sort of person to enjoy a beauty pageant. Just not my thing. But, though I was very shy, I was confidant about what I could do well and believed in myself. It kind of made me a lone wolf. I had social fear but I wasn't afraid to gallop on a horse, or jump or do barrel-racing or be afraid to stay alone in the woods for a few days.

Pregnenolone is subtly very nice for me.

 

[Ukall]

You're letting a bit of discomfort keep you from doing anything. Feel the anxiety and do it anyway. A lot of athletes and performers get extremely nauseous before go time. They go out anyway. This is how life works. You have to suck it up.

I can't count the number of people with my fingers that said that to me.
I wish those comments really helped, seriously, because I had soooo many people saying things like those to me that, right now, I would be well for sure if numbers made the difference. Sometimes I would get "mad" with myself and I was like "Yeah, let's go! I can do this! From now on, this is going to be different."
[SPOILER ALERT]
It never was.

 

[raypeatclips]

@Regina Interesting posts, I always enjoy what you write and talk about. Would you say pregnenolone had the biggest/most important impact on your social anxiety, or a combination of the things you are doing?

 

[Syncopated]

Ever tried CBD from cannabis? Try Charlotte's Web by the Stanley Bros.

Vapourizer is a must as you don't want to be smoking it.

I was on lorazepam (Ativan) for a few years and it worked best the first time I took it but after that benzo's need to be cycled.

CBD from cannabis does not build tolerance and is anxiolytic. There has been little research into the anxiolytic effects of cannabis CBD, most has focused on the antipsychotic side of CBD for psychiatric disorders.

I have a print out stating that there has only been one published report of the anxiolytic effect of CBD in an anxiety disorder (Crippa et al, 2010, 2011) . Xanax, Valium and Ativan rule the market.

 

[CJ_87]

With a name like that what do you expect?

But lowering expectations might be an answer. People have recommended a nonmaterialist outlook on life, and feeling the anxiety and "doing it" anyway. This is good advice, though easier said than done. Basically make peace with the worst scenario you can imagine. Go to university, get a job, and even if you totally embarrass yourself and freak out in front of everyone, realise that it doesn't really matter.

Looking for chemical solutions outside of nutrition is probably a waste of time. You have said that nothing you've tried has worked, and that is a common experience. As unpalatable as it may seem, the answer probably does lie in a change of mindset. A logical realisation you can make by yourself without any need for hormones. And that is, it doesn't matter as much as you think. Other people don't really care one way or another unless they are friends or family. Strangers see people weirder than you all the time; homeless people who talk to themselves, people whose tastes in porn have been broadcast to the whole world, including everyone they have ever known. I have recently used the example of people serving life sentences as something to put my anxieties and depression into perspective. At least I am not them. I wish I had reached this perspective sooner, as I have let social anxiety waste more of my life than you have, being 29.

So basically, while you do have a mental problem that most other people don't have, you can overcome it by thinking it though, and taking the hard decision to ignore the fear, accept the worst (maybe even actively hope for it at first, as a fun intellectual activity to test yourself), and do what you wish you could do if you didn't have the social anxiety.

 

[ilikecats]

What would ray peat say? Do you think he would say this crippling social anxiety is do to lack of charecter or because the poster has the wrong "attitude"? hmmmm. (Answer is no btw)

 

[Regina]

I have been always into spirituality and enlightenment. These are subjects that interest me very much.
Before being here, I was being followed by a physician with supplements that I have never tried them before in my life.
During that time, I felt so well with myself and all the "living in the Now" and doing meditation made even more sense.
However, I wasn't still having success at school... My OCD and ADHD never helped me when I had to really work.
Over time, I was taking less and less supplements and physical symptoms were starting to appear again (the one who frustrated me most was constipation which lead me to having hemorrhoids again). And she didn't me explain me what was happening... She would always tell that it was me that I achieve the state I was. All me (not supplements, of course...).
So I started to investigate about different diets and I end up on a very high carb diet.
Well, all I can say is that my constipation was gone... However, I never felt so cold and with excess adrenaline during my life.
My shoulders were even more near my ears these days...

What I want to say with this is, since then I took a break being into spirituality almost completely. Not that I doesn't matter to me anymore. It's just I can't achieve the peace I was having before when I was doing meditation, for instance. It's like, when I felt so calm with the supplements, all those things made even more sense to me. When I was doing a High Carb diet, I couldn't even meditate because how uncomfortable I was feeling.

So, I've concluded that indeed diets can affect me, that's why I am here today.
Now if I am ever going to find something that what works for me... I... I just don't know.


My journey before being here was:
- Psychologists (lots of them)
- Meditation/Spirituality
- Diets

And I completely agree with everything you've said. You clearly know this stuff. I've learned a lot about it when I was reading things regarding spirituality, but I couldn't never express myself to others about it like you did here.

I mean, do you know what OCD feels like to the point of not being able to leave home?

That's the thing. All those beautiful texts (and I agree with all of them) never helped me dealing with the symptoms I have.
I mean, if I was able to survive doing nothing, those words would be enough for me. But I am 25 years old and I've failed all the attempts on college (4 different courses). I've never achieved anything in my life and I am still not financially independent.
None of those words helped me having success on school or having a job. Like all those years going to psychologists, with all the conversations and beautiful things they've said to me, never make me really change when I had to be functional (but I've learned a lot with them, I can say). If I am a person that can't conclude some work on time, I'll get fired.

You see, we have to be functional. And I am not a functional person and I never was.

I can't say anything wrt your "function".
I am trying to combine my "spiritual" training (aikido/meditation) with all the Peat stuff and what I am learning here. I just won't do anything that I think is not beneficial or detrimental. There is the "saying No" but also, the teachers don't know the tech (like glycolysis vs oxidative metabolism).
A few days ago, I sent my original teacher Ray Peat's Universal Principle of Cellular Energy (posted at Functionalps). He's a smart guy. If he reads it; he won't just invalidate it. His training has involved an enormous amount of severe conditions. I don't tend to run what I do by anyone for their approval, but out of respect I will inform him wrt my aikido or zen. I haven't done any meditation or attended any group practice outside of aikido class in a few months.
The group just did a sesshin. A weekend long of intense zazen, very little food or sleep.
It's not what I should be doing right now. So screw that. I didn't attend.
For me, this is probably my residual social anxiety disorder. I don't want the looks or judgement when I don't want to eat meager tofu and/or operate on stress chemicals. I just skip the event.
Thankfully, my "original teacher" is now the over-arching Abbott of the monastery. I sent him the declining rsvp with the Peat quotes. He responded, "Oh cool. Hey, you might want to come up and do some tomahawk training with me next time you're in town." I no longer inform people who do not have my best interests at heart of what I will or will not do. So, I was happy to receive the perfect response from him.
So, it's like knowing why you are and what you are there for, in any given situation.

 

[Electric Slim]

What would ray peat say? Do you think he would say this crippling social anxiety is do to lack of charecter or because the poster has the wrong "attitude"? hmmmm. (Answer is no btw)

I think Peat would recognise the power of ideas in relation to learned helplessness. His philosophy is not as mechanistic as many seem to think. He generally gives nutritional/supplemental solutions in emails and radio call-ins because that is what people expect. Perhaps he would reference William Blake and a rejection of authoritarian ideas, including the tyranny of other people's judgements and opinions.

 

[DaveFoster]

I will try progesterone too. I don't wanna play with my hormones but these hormones convert allopregnanolone. This is my last hope.

Try progesterone. It's remarkable; caffeine is helpful as well.

 

[Social anxiety]

Try progesterone. It's remarkable; caffeine is helpful as well.

You are male? You've tried pills or cream?