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Sexual Dysfunction

M

metabolizm

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I'm still a young man (32), but I find sex to be exhausting, painful and generally health-deranging. It is of course also pleasurable, but more often than not I'm finding that the pain outweighs the pleasure, and I seem to be more inclined towards a near-celibate life. Am I completely alone here?

I have been in a sexual relationship with the same woman, whom I love, for the last ten years, but my disinclination to have sex is putting a strain on our relationship. It's not that I don't have any sex drive, or that I don't find her attractive; it's that the physical act of sex seems to rob me of vitality for several days, seems to cause prostate inflammation, gives me tired eyes, causes pelvic floor pain, and makes me generally feel terrible for a while, and so of course I just don't want to subject myself to that. As if that litany of ailments wasn't bad enough, I'm now getting horrible foreskin inflammation, and the only way to avoid this is to wear a condom. Usually about four days after sex, I start to feel better. Again, I ask: am I alone in this experience?

I'm baffled to think that there are some men, possibly many men, with very active sex lives, who are having sex multiple times a week with no ill-effects, with no effect on energy. Or at least, that's what I've been led to believe. If that is so, then I must be very, very sick.

One of the few people who seems to have talked about this was the American health writer Bernarr Macfadden, who was writing in the first half of the 20th century. He recognised back then that too frequent sexual excitement and stimulation over time would inevitably "destroy a man's virility". He also wrote presciently about the harms of masturbation, and about varicocele, and about prostatitis, and he seemed to understand the relationship of all these conditions better than anyone since. Here are some of his articles.

Along with B. Macfadden, I don't think it is wise to avoid sex or even masturbation if you are uncontrollably horny. That's counterproductive, and could drive you mad. Sometimes we need the release, and if the only way to get that is to masturbate once in a while, then so be it. (The problem with porn, of course, is that provides young men with an unnatural and unreasonable amount of stimulation/arousal, and the physical toll of frequent ejaculation, not to mention the warped expectations around the sexual act, becomes apparent over time).

Anyway, this has become a bit of a ramble, but TLDR: probably as a result of discovering porn at an early age, and masturbating an ungodly amount for many years, sex has now become a physical burden and even a source of suffering, inclining me towards a life of not-quite-but-almost celibacy, even at my young age of 32. This puts an enormous strain on my relationship, and is something we're still trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to negotiate. Am I alone?
 
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Dec 18, 2018
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@metabolizm you should operate under the notion of deficiency of everything and supplement more Protein, structural fats and safer vitamins and elements higher dosed. It sounds like "post orgasmic illness syndrome" or such.
 

Maljam

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I saw you mentioned it in your last paragraph, I'm guessing you don't still look at porn and masturbate? If so, I'd stop that.

What is your diet like and general health? How do you feel when you don't have sex, are you full of energy?

As Tristan said it is probably some sort of deficiency or issue with general health. I'd probably eat more and nutritious foods, multiple egg yolks a day, different meats, beef, pork, chicken, lamb. Gelatinous stews, if your calories are low, definitely increase them, at least temporarily.
 

Jing

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I have chronic prostatitis and I've been ejaculating too much recently right now my penis really aches and has a burning sensation inside and just doesn't feel right and it's very hard to pee. Not ejaculating helps me with this but I have quite a high sex drive lots of the time so I get frustrated when I don't ejaculate but I also do feel better overall when I don't ejaculate it's not just you , im 26. I literally have some mates who can ejaculate multiple times a day with no pain and it baffles me.
 

Maljam

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I have chronic prostatitis and I've been ejaculating too much recently right now my penis really aches and has a burning sensation inside and just doesn't feel right and it's very hard to pee. Not ejaculating helps me with this but I have quite a high sex drive lots of the time so I get frustrated when I don't ejaculate but I also do feel better overall when I don't ejaculate it's not just you , im 26. I literally have some mates who can ejaculate multiple times a day with no pain and it baffles me.

Peat has said before high estrogen can create an insatiable sexual desire. If you are getting frustrated from not masturbating (I'm guessing daily) this could indicate an issue like this. In a healthy individual, orgasms are satisfying and quell the urge for at least a few days.

I think porn has warped the expectations of people, I don't think you should be wanting to ejaculate multiple times a day. Lay off porn and just masturbate when you get the urge. By urge I don't mean when you are simply frustrated, but when you body would benefit from the release.

You have already told us the answer, not ejaculating as much helps the problem.
 

Jing

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Peat has said before high estrogen can create an insatiable sexual desire. If you are getting frustrated from not masturbating (I'm guessing daily) this could indicate an issue like this. In a healthy individual, orgasms are satisfying and quell the urge for at least a few days.

I think porn has warped the expectations of people, I don't think you should be wanting to ejaculate multiple times a day. Lay off porn and just masturbate when you get the urge. By urge I don't mean when you are simply frustrated, but when you body would benefit from the release.

You have already told us the answer, not ejaculating as much helps the problem.
I'm on testosterone lol and occasionally taking an aromatase inhibitor will cause my sex drive to go even higher but sometimes it will also lower it so I feel there is more to it than estrogen . And I don't masterbate or watch porn I have sex with my gf and I don't want to ejaculate multiple times a day but atleast like every other day which tbh at the age of 26 should not be a problem, and yh not ejaculating helps my pain but tbh that's not a solution because even if I was to go say 2 weeks with no ejaculation as soon as I ejaculate pain just starts up again I need the problem fixed not masked .

I also have lots of sex without ejaculation.
 
M

metabolizm

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I'm on testosterone lol and occasionally taking an aromatase inhibitor will cause my sex drive to go even higher but sometimes it will also lower it so I feel there is more to it than estrogen . And I don't masterbate or watch porn I have sex with my gf and I don't want to ejaculate multiple times a day but atleast like every other day which tbh at the age of 26 should not be a problem, and yh not ejaculating helps my pain but tbh that's not a solution because even if I was to go say 2 weeks with no ejaculation as soon as I ejaculate pain just starts up again I need the problem fixed not masked .

I also have lots of sex without ejaculation.

I think the best thing to do is to find a way to control sex drive - that is, by finding distractions and different uses of energy - but when you're horny and need a release try to make it short and sweet, avoiding as much as possible the prostatitis flare ups. The habit of trying to prolong ejaculation as long as possible can be really damaging, I think. At least it has been for me.
 

Jing

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I think the best thing to do is to find a way to control sex drive - that is, by finding distractions and different uses of energy - but when you're horny and need a release try to make it short and sweet, avoiding as much as possible the prostatitis flare ups. The habit of trying to prolong ejaculation as long as possible can be really damaging, I think. At least it has been for me.
Yh I do kind of know how to manage it so it isn't so bad but I just want to be able to have a normal sex life without all this pain tbh
 
M

metabolizm

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Yh I do kind of know how to manage it so it isn't so bad but I just want to be able to have a normal sex life without all this pain tbh

Yeah, I don't know the answer to that, but I think some form of a "sexual rest" may sometimes be required.
 

Jing

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Yeah, I don't know the answer to that, but I think some form of a "sexual rest" may sometimes be required.
Well I did go a month before with no sexual activity of any kind and of course the pain was lessened by I would say like 50% but as soon as I ejaculated it all came back.

It's also not just ejaculation that causes the pain sometimes just erections cause pain and sometimes erections are out of my control like I can have morning erections and then the pain is triggered.
 

Maljam

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Well I did go a month before with no sexual activity of any kind and of course the pain was lessened by I would say like 50% but as soon as I ejaculated it all came back.

Have you visited a doctor at all about the issue? I know prostatitis can sometimes be caused by infections.
 
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metabolizm

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Well I did go a month before with no sexual activity of any kind and of course the pain was lessened by I would say like 50% but as soon as I ejaculated it all came back.

I'm thinking more like several months to a year, only masturbating occasionally - and not drawing it out! - when the pressure is unbearable. I really think such severe measures are sometimes necessary. Hard when you're in a relationship though!
 

Jing

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I'm thinking more like several months to a year, only masturbating occasionally - and not drawing it out! - when the pressure is unbearable. I really think such severe measures are sometimes necessary. Hard when you're in a relationship though!
Lol very tough tbh if I knew it would actually fix this issue I would go a year without any sexual activity but I would be pissed if I went a year then ejaculated and it all came back.
 

Inaut

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Lol very tough tbh if I knew it would actually fix this issue I would go a year without any sexual activity but I would be pissed if I went a year then ejaculated and it all came back.

What’s your mental state like @Jing? Are you depressed a lot of time? Do you dwell on certain thoughts?
 
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I'm on testosterone lol and occasionally taking an aromatase inhibitor will cause my sex drive to go even higher but sometimes it will also lower it so I feel there is more to it than estrogen . And I don't masterbate or watch porn I have sex with my gf and I don't want to ejaculate multiple times a day but atleast like every other day which tbh at the age of 26 should not be a problem, and yh not ejaculating helps my pain but tbh that's not a solution because even if I was to go say 2 weeks with no ejaculation as soon as I ejaculate pain just starts up again I need the problem fixed not masked .

I also have lots of sex without ejaculation.

I have the hunch that you have some type of low grade chronic infection, curious what it could be. Did you tried to search on google scholar with the terms "reversal chronic prostatitis"? Maybe you find new clues.
 

Jing

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I have the hunch that you have some type of low grade chronic infection, curious what it could be. Did you tried to search on google scholar with the terms "reversal chronic prostatitis"? Maybe you find new clues.
Perhaps there could be but how would I find out if I do?
 
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Perhaps there could be but how would I find out if I do?

You type scholar into google search bar and then the search term. Then you open an entry in the list by opening it in a new tab, and read the abstract; then you gather those ideas by making snapshots or copy paste them into a textfile and evaluate which are the safest and easiest procedures, and post them here.
 

Jing

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You type scholar into google search bar and then the search term. Then you open an entry in the list by opening it in a new tab, and read the abstract; then you gather those ideas by making snapshots or copy paste them into a textfile and evaluate which are the safest and easiest procedures, and post them here.
Doesn't tell me the cause of mine lol
 
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