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Discussion in 'Logs' started by Runenight201, Jul 26, 2019.
Thank you sir.
Lot's to comment on. Some flashbacks to prior states. Indulged in too much alcohol on Friday night, and made licentious decisions. Alcohol certainly impedes on the ability to make rational choices, and increases the primitive, lustful appetite. But none of this is new, it just seems extra obvious to me now in my more aware state of things. I'm not disappointed or regretful, for I think it's perfectly reasonable to engage in such behavior, especially if all parties are aware participants for what it is, which is just drunk orgiastic pleasures. Problems arise when either side of the party isn't, and then flints of something more may be wanted at where there is none. Then this morning, I had a moment of my heart opening up again. How closed it can be and I not even recognize it. It had opened up once earlier in a post I had made, after an eventful dream, and then I felt the beckoning's of it opening up again, this time at church. What could it have been? Certainly the standard church message of pursuing deital worship doesn't resonate that well with me anymore. But it came at a moment of music, with the lovely penny whistle, and the prelude to the communal act of consuming the flesh of Jesus. I had a flashback to how pure my heart had been, as a young teenager, fully enveloped in Catholic doctrine, experiencing the lightness and joy of having confessed my sins. The relief, the ecstatic relief, that all my wrong-doings had been forgiven, and my soul had been cleansed! There is a feeling of high health, in which my stomach is happy and my mind energetic, and then there is that feeling of purity and love, which trumps even the happiest of stomachs! How do we obtain that in this secular world? What rituals, what practices, what beliefs, must we engage in, and that we will willingly engage in, so that our hearts may become pure! We throw out the baby with the bathwater in our murder of God and all that is spiritual! Is there disconnect between my two prior paragraphs? It would seem so. Is it possible to have it all? Noticing that the choice of starch seems to be important in its digestibility. I had some rice last night that damn near knocked me out cold, but then this morning I had beef tacos with corn tortillas, made with cilantro, onions, and guacamole. They were lacking some tomatoes, but that's ok. I still felt strongly energized by them. My mind became filled with desire to work and produce, engage and grow. Physical knowledge of food is near complete, but I feel so incomplete in my psychological, spiritual, and emotional development! A hiatus of many years in those arenas, must be resumed, for I cannot bear this naivety any longer!
Ate some tamales, which are basically a corn flour + fat mix with chicken and tomato sauce. Felt incredibly sharp afterwards. Played very well in my soccer game. My movements were very good. I could shift my feet over very quickly, and my movements felt balanced, as if I was activating my entire kinetic chain in the most efficient manner. I was staying upright, running balanced, and thinking ahead in the match. I plan on making my own version with corn flour and butter, as I'm sure they use vegetable oil in their rendition of the flour mix. I then had post soccer game some burgers, and I felt the sharpness leave me, and in came a stupor and sluggishness. I've managed to counteract some of it with some coffee, but it's obvious to me that I had too much protein without enough fat. The odd thing is I do not like meat fat, but much prefer to eat my fat with starch. Will be making my own corn meal. If I perfect the recipe I think I'll use that as my sole starch source, and then combine it with either tomatoes or tomato sauce, and eat with a protein source like pork, chicken, beef etc.... I had two soccer games. Before the first one I had a yogurt, apple juice snack, and I played awfully. My movements felt so awkward and I couldn't get my foot work right. I also felt in conjunction with this awkwardness a heaviness in my stomach and some anxiety as well. Things have to digest perfectly, and when they do, the body is set to fully use all that energy to its maximum potential. How easily the wrong meals can set one back....
I find myself repeatedly musing, I know many things and nothing all at once. Surely my life feels more in control now than it ever has, but at the same time, I feel so hopelessly lost in sustaining it. At the pinnacles of my expression, don't I feel so grandiose. Like I can accomplish anything I set my mind too. At the depths of despair, where all energy is lost, where not a mol of dopamine puddles, don't I feel so useless. Surely success in this life is just consistent clarity of energy. How many more scenarios must be encountered before there are no more errors? I'll eat the same damn thing every day, I won't travel anywhere in the world, just give me that pure energy. The libation of life, I repeatedly crave the bottle of energy and vitality. Haven't I sold it all already to obtain it? Seem to have made my own cereal. I made a dough of butter, egg, and milk mixed with flour, baked it, then dumped the cookie into a bowl of milk with sugar. Very satisfying and quickly quelled the hunger signal in my stomach, with minimal feeling of bloat or indigestion. Of course, such foods always confuse the mind, but make the body strong. Coffee always sharpens the intellect. And watermelon, the great equalizer! In my own garden of Eden, the cows will graze on the grass, the watermelon and oranges will grow in abundance, and the grains and vegetables will rise until they are 10 ft. tall!
You sound bipolar to me bro. Your “musings” definitely have a manic ring to them.
If a psychiatrist were to read the journal of 10 average people they’d come up with 10 different psychological disorders with 10 different pharmaceutical interventions. Although that does remind me of this vegan commune in Russia where the cult leader commented on how approximately 80% of the world is mentally ill. From what I’ve gathered, I think I can agree. Not in that we’re all psycho, but the amount of negative emotions, moods, and disorders that we experience certainly is indicative of many kinks in the chain gone wrong, from a dietary, cultural, and structural perspective. I’ve noted for a while how intensely food affects my moods. To the point where I can induce certain states with certain foods. I’m getting closer and closer though towards foods that don’t affect me so highly up and down. I don’t think bipolar disorder is anything more than extreme sensitivity to foods. Been a vegan today. Just lentil/potato/veggie soups, water, and fruits. Stomach is leaner than ever before and energy much more consistent. I can see the markings of the 6th pack starting to peek through. We’ll see where this goes...
Yeah I second the fact that metabolism, which is partly influenced by food, can definitely swing your mood in a bipolar manner for sure. Eat the right thing and you're euphoric, eat the wrong thing and you're angry at everything, everyone, and the world. I personally stand by my belief that the natural state for a human is the euphoric, happy, productive, energetic individual. However, this state of being is so unknown in modern culture, that anyone experiences it is called weird, "bipolar", "manic" etc. According to the 80/20 rule, I'd probably agree that 80% of people have at least subclinical mental disorders, with only 20% being "normal" and thus the "normal" people are actually the outliers... You got me interested to try soup. I am slow cooking my potatoes in bone broth (walmart sells bone broth now!!! happy day lol) for my dinner tonight. Normally I just cook in water. True clinical bipolar like my ex-gf had though is induced by extremely high stress/FFA's. She often ate one meal a day (often less than 1000 calories too), and ran on pure stress hormones from waking up until going to bed, and then of course I am sure all the meds she took for the condition didn't help things in the long run.
Definitely do the soups man. My recipe is 1 cup lentils, 2.5 cups v8 juice, 3.5 cups water, 3 stalks of celery, 10 baby carrots diced, 1 onion diced, 1 jalapeño, green onions diced, 3 potatoes diced. Some minced garlic added in there and salt to taste. Pressure cooked for 30 minutes. I’ve been adding animal flesh to the soup above. Much better than just the veggies themselves.
Been thinking for a while how it’s hard for me to achieve true stomach satiation. A lot of the times, I’ll recognize that I’ve had enough of one food item and have to stop, or else I’ll run into negative effects. Unfortunately my stomach usually won’t be full, and so I start doing all sorts of queer food combinations to attempt to be full and satisfied, usually unsuccessfully. This then of course leads to a cascade of hunger, poor moods, low energy, add, etc.... Well damn, if pasta ain’t the one sole thing that makes me truly FULL. Pasta, butter, tomato sauce. A little bit of milk and sugar and copious amounts of coffee afterwards. Pasta has this effect of making me much more social. Most other foods make me an introvert, but pasta, dairy, and sugar make me much more extroverted. Been thinking lately about how to help people with their food troubles. Is there really a way? I feel like it’s such an individual journey. The one thing I always say is to cook your own food and observe yourself, but it usually falls on deaf ears....
The more I learn every day, the more I realize I think the liver is the most important organ in the whole body to fix. I no longer think you can just fix things with food alone at least if you're already really over weight and sick though food choice does still matter. I hate to say this, formerly being an anti-supplement guy myself, but it's the unfortunate truth. You fix the liver, then everything else works right. Blood sugar stability, ability to lose body fat, ability to detox your body from poisons... I'm trying to ramp up my organ/liver meat intake (Amazoniac posted that eating liver will help the liver), B vitamins, choline, I supplement liver w/ thyroid gland also, some caffeine/K2, and adding Pyrucet (FAO blocker) to my stack this week also, and aspirin to block lipolysis, also vitamin E to protect again PUFA/any lipolysis that might occur despite aspirin intake. We shall see...
Supplements certainly help a lot. I think where people go wrong is they aren’t able to perceive any effect from a supplement yet continue to take it for its supposed benefit. I certainly think b-vitamins and caffeine are safe and great supplements to be taking, although caffeine can be overdone and lead to negative effects in my experience. I usually always notice a mood uplift upon ingestion in any matter. Aspirin never did much for me, liver and organ meats are flat out disgusting, nor never did much for me either. I could never deduce any effects positive or negative from Haiduts vitamin E or K2, so I stopped a long time from those, however Herbalife does sell a rehydrate product that has a little bit of electrolytes and vitamin C and E that made me feel very good. I bought a powder vitamin C packet that has some b-vitamins and “antioxidants” added into it also. I did like how they gave me a small little boost. I put it into my Yerba mate with some blueberries and honey and that is a very pleasurable drink to consume I think I stated this before, but nothing works unless the stomach feels happy full and has good motility. Most supplements just make the brain happy, but not the stomach. Whatever works to keep the stomach happy full and moving food along is the most effective imo. Lots of things can clog up the stomach and cause all sorts of negative effects. Starch and soups are the closest things so far that makes my stomach happy full.
Sadly, even potato soup bloated me up a lot last night. Like I said, when you're really fat and sick like me, nothing really works, and that's when you have to bring in the big guns and even nukes when the big guns fail. If I have to, i'll even get me some mildronate (pharmaceutical grade FAO blocker), apparently nothing helps you lose fat like that does. Making the stomach happy sounds nice on paper, but when your digestion is completely non-existent like in my case, doing so just bloats you and makes you fat lol.
Tomatoes + rice. Delicious and filling. Noticeable increase in intelligence and verbal fluidity. More confidence, less anxiety. Rice on its own...not the greatest. The tomato/rice did give some slight acid reflux, which could be attributed due to the fact that they were canned, but canned is so much easier, especially when consuming in the quantity for a rice dish. Countered the reflux with a pear + ice + sugar smoothie. Canned of course, but it was absolutely delicious. Attempting to figure out how to improve the consistency, as I was just eating sugar ice chunks with pear fiber and flavor floating around, but it was still very scrumptious =P Feeling pretty good. Carbs are most certainly the answer, but how to best combine them is tricky. Feel like I found something good today. May try a pineapple/broccoli dish, idk why but I feel like that could be a winner also. Off the dairy train. No coffee either. Just fruits and foods for now! The more I delve in, the more I see how food is my ultimate nootropic :) the mind works so well when it’s overloaded with glucose and sucrose to boast!
Take the starch, and eat it. With milk, with cheese, with meat, oh please, it does not matter to me. I’ll even eat it with those wretched veggies! Just eat the damn starch and see! Eat it until thy stomach is pleased! Wait until the bloat has passed. And the stomach is no longer filled. Use that energy to express yourself, crush your goals under heel. Don’t worry ‘nymore about your food, you’ve had enough to fuel the will. Maybe drink some water or pop, if you feel a lil off the mill. Then when hunger strikes again, eat whatever starchy plate your body desires then! Eat it big and eat it bold, eat it like your being told! For this starch is the fuel of life, avoid it and you’ll be under trife! Cold hands, cold brain, cold mood, cold stomach, who would want to experience this? Ray, Ray, Ray, of all the positive things I could say, I won’t listen to you about the starch, not another wasted day! I’ll drink my milk and eat my sugar, but with starch I look at thee with dismay!
BEST RECIPE FOR HAVING CRANIAL ORGASMS (YOU WON'T BELIEVE HOW EFFECTIVE!!!) Dice 1 onion and cut up mushrooms Take sauce pan Melt enough butter to cover pan Fry onions and mushrooms until onions turn slightly translucent Add tomato PASTE or SOUP enough to make a sauce Add 2% milk UNTIL SAUCE TURNS PINK. USE TASTE BUDS TO DETERMINE WHEN ENOUGH OF THE TOMATO FLAVOR HAS LEFT AND THE SAUCE BECOMES DELECTABLE Simmer on low for 10-15 minutes PUT ON TOP OF RICE, MEAT, WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES ENJOY (responsibly, with perhaps some coffee afterwards if you really want to bask in the afterglow!) P.S. If there are any professional chef's here who can give me pointers on how to improve this recipe, I'm all ears! I just follow my intuition when cooking and it usually comes out alright, but could definitely be steeped in the ways of food chemistry and what not!
I always put quite a bit sugar in my tomato sauce, makes it much better!
Could be worth a shot...I definitely felt that the recipe was lacking, but at my present culinary ability was not able to pin point what it was. I tried more salt and was disgusted, so it wasn’t that. The soup I used had some sugar in it, but perhaps not enough, so on my next round about with that recipe I’ll have to add a little more sugar and see how I receive that. I made some black tea and that seemed to equilibrate everything and evenly distribute my brain activation!
Damn what a combo! I spend a lot of time laying around, thinking about how to give my body what it needs. Wasted time some might say....go live your life! I've even said those same words to myself! This morning I was laying, low energy, waiting for the creative genius to spark, and spark it had! I do not know what to call this skill, but it may be the most important skill any modern human being can develop! It is the ability to perfectly match the dietary input with the physiological state... it is an art I tell you! A trait of mastery of self and environment! I knew it in that moment, that moment that the spark hit, that what my body needed was a smoothie, but how to create the combo? How sickly sweet most commercial smoothies are, the overload of juices and sugars, the lack of fresh vegetation, a modern calamity representation! So I donned the creative hat, and began imagining the recipes. I knew my body wanted some celery and carrots, however neither of them were appealing in their raw form, but how flavors mix together to create something better than their individual parts! I added some apple juice and grapes, spun it up in a blender, and was disgusted at how off it tasted... Too much fruit juice, it was drying out my mouth! The rest went down the drain! Round 2 proved to be more promising. Carrots and celery at the base, this time....water?!?!?! Grapes to sweeten, a splash of lemon juice spun it up, and.....too bland! What could it be? The juice made it too sweet and the water made it too bland.... Round 3! Oh round 3 how sweet to be! Carrots and celery, this time....a whole pear! Diced up, grapes again, lemon juice, a splash of water, and the magic touch.....honey! What a delectable drink that sent my whole body into such excitation of delight and energy. I was shouting for joy! The perfect amount of fiber, sweetness, water, flavor, it couldn't have gotten better! Try the recipe....and let your taste buds be the guide! They shan't let you down, so long as you've spent some time developing the palate!
Seems that my states dip low and then high. Finding the consistent energy is the biggest challenge, but one that is a necessary prerequisite towards self-actualization. Unclear what causes my energy too dip low, but I do believe that it is always characterized by a lack of glucose, specifically from starch, flowing through my system. Things that can disrupt the glucose utilization of energy I suspect are the animal products, especially excessive meat/eggs. Now I do think that some is necessary for proper health, but too much is problematic. I think the tomato to be one of my secrets towards optimal utilization of starch, meat, or eggs, and I can't eat meals without an abundance of its presence. When I'm in my low's, my thoughts are practically consumed with how to solve my current predicament, and it's usually quite the task. Today I managed to solve the issue through consumption of a sparking water ICE drink, which has b-vitamins and fruit flavorings, followed by a banana/skim milk/sugar smoothie. This managed to uplift my depressive spirits, at least until I was prepared for my next big starch meal. Upon consumption of the starch meal, no meat this time, just skim milk and coffee, the influx of energy, motivation, drive was palpable. I had the remark post meal, "I'm back!" As if my true nature is one in which I'm intensely motivated, curious, and capable. I highly enjoy this state, specifically the lack of obtrusive thoughts on my physical self and the ability to focus and think clearly on subjects that are challenging and new. Keep the glucose steady, keep it flowing, keep the dopamine going, so the self stays growing!
I find it interesting that gluten is demonized so heavily in the health world. Always continuing and experimenting different foods, I seem to have found the croissant to be a top contender in highly digestible, health promoting food. I purchase the all butter croissants of course, and while I can't be sure of every ingredient, I will admit that out of all the breads, rice, potatoes, oats, etc.... that I've consumed, the butter croissant seems to be the best starch I've eaten so far. I like to eat it with cheese, and then have some sugar milk or coffee/sugar/milk for desert, and I find this combo to be incredibly rewarding, filling, and effective in making me full without constipating, lowering energy, brain fogging, etc.... Regardless of choice of starch, there definitely HAS to be sufficient fat with it. It seems everytime I experience a great meal, its always because I've eaten it with fat. Really enjoying the Yerba mate, apple juice, sugar combo. For a long time I was consuming a product version of this drink and wondering why I couldn't make something so tasty at home. Turns out I wasn't using apple juice. The apple juice cuts the bitterness of the yerba mate and brightens the drink. The sugar of course provides the energy and extra sweetness. The whole combo is great. Instant energy, very light on the stomach.
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