Runenights Musings

[Cirion]

@Cirion
Assuming he isn't getting adequate carbohydrates. But it sounds like he is though.

No way to know without measurements like temp pulse etc. Maybe maybe not. But I know whenever I feel bad 99% of the time it is something I either ate wrong or failed to eat something correct or in some cases... both.

 

[Runenight201]

My main shtick against sugar is that it made me weak. Hands go cold. Manic. Out of control. My favorite form of sugar consumption was cola, and I could feel a spot in my brain right at the center top which would light up every time I drank it. I’d feel relief and at ease, but my hands would go weak with this loose feeling. Ray himself said that ripe fruit is always preferable to sugar. Fruit can satisfy that sugar need, it just won’t create that ultra high that pure sugar gives. The errant thoughts and music loops running in my head. Always exacerbated by sugar. Especially cola.

Main thing is that what I was doing wasn’t working. Still have stomach and chest fat. Still felt bloated all the time. Somethings gotta change. Felt too unstable. Mood swinging around like a pendulum, can’t be right.

I think the protein wasting is in the case of carb restriction. I eat plenty of carbs every day. I’m just avoiding refined sugar. I will say that my body feels much harder than it did yesterday. My stomach is also not bloated. When I sit I just see my fat rolls, and not this feeling of water retention and food clogging around my digestive tract.

Couldn’t make it through the night. Woke up feeling off, pounded 40 or so grapes, felt much more settled, although my hands felt slightly weaker and my head ache returned. Ate some fish with egg soup. Strength returned, head ache diminishing. I really like the combo. The fat and salt help with the protein digestion, and then the added nutrition from egg yolk helps with energy and brain function. Better than using normal fat for soup imo. I never enjoyed eating pure beef fat. Lard was good, but I think egg yolk has supplanted flesh fat. Craving some coffee, time to dose up.

 

[Runenight201]

Fell back asleep and I had very impactful dream. Woke up with a deep sense of what must be love and serenity. I feel very calm. Calmness that I haven’t experienced in a very, very long time, if ever. I’m not craving the high energy from stimulants or sugar. I want this state to stay with me. I just want the simple foods now. Fish, soup, rice, fruits, veggies, water. My heart feels. It feels warm. I’m emotional. Idk what for but I want more people to experience this feeling. I think a lot of problems would go away if they could experience this feeling.

True dreams are like answers to problems we’ve been ruminating on for a while. The mind must have known the solution, but it’s clouded in the stress and distractions of daily life. In the sleeping state, our mind is free to put together the answer in an epic story with meaning at every act. Upon waking, the interpretation is clear, and an acquired sense of direction and confidence is felt. Why on earth we are capable of experiencing such a phenomena is beyond me. How beautiful the human soul can be and how poisoned it has become. Cleanse the body, cleanse the mind, cleanse the soul.

 

[Cirion]

I’m just avoiding refined sugar.

Fair enough. That makes sense. I hardly get any refined sugar. If I feel the need for straight sugar I use something more wholesome like maple syrup because at least that gives me a couple B vitamins, calcium, manganese etc.

 

[Shin]

Fell back asleep and I had very impactful dream. Woke up with a deep sense of what must be love and serenity. I feel very calm. Calmness that I haven’t experienced in a very, very long time, if ever. I’m not craving the high energy from stimulants or sugar. I want this state to stay with me. I just want the simple foods now. Fish, soup, rice, fruits, veggies, water. My heart feels. It feels warm. I’m emotional. Idk what for but I want more people to experience this feeling. I think a lot of problems would go away if they could experience this feeling.
.

Wow nice, I think I know that feeling from shroom trips .
That's the kinda energy that underlies all creation, I would also call it love.
Pure bliss/freedom, when you feel that way you could stare at a wall for 20 hours straight and just feel fulfilled.
Which is probably why it's not a sustainable state, you would die from starvation by bliss.

 

[Runenight201]

Fair enough. That makes sense. I hardly get any refined sugar. If I feel the need for straight sugar I use something more wholesome like maple syrup because at least that gives me a couple B vitamins, calcium, manganese etc.

Had about 10 grams worth of refined sugar today so it’s not completely out, but drinking it in colas is still an error. I put a little in my tea with lemon and it gave me quite the nice energy uplift. No cold hands this time. Not out of control energy, i enjoyed it.

Wow nice, I think I know that feeling from shroom trips .
That's the kinda energy that underlies all creation, I would also call it love.
Pure bliss/freedom, when you feel that way you could stare at a wall for 20 hours straight and just feel fulfilled.
Which is probably why it's not a sustainable state, you would die from starvation by bliss.

It was quite the experience, but hunger still kicked in and I recognized i had to go eat. What was interesting is that the second I put rice in my mouth, that state went away and I entered into the typical bloated stomach, stressed state. I now realize that it’s very difficult to truly feel love if in a stressed state, the primary one and most crippling one in my opinion for most people being digestive stress.

I may be switching over to corn from rice. Corn doesn’t seem to stick up in my digestive tract like rice does. Mixed with broccoli, carrots, tomatoes, and lemon, i have a very refreshing dish that fills the stomach but doesn’t stress it. I ate that with some chicken and I felt good after lunch. Not perfect, because unfortunately I had to eat Chinese veggies covered in oil, but it was still better than any other option at the time. Will be repeating the dish with my own egg soup and no oil and see how it plays out.

 

[Cirion]

Yeah I mean I think you're right on colas. If I limit it to like 1 a day maybe 2 it's not so bad, but yeah more than that, colas seem to rub me the wrong way. I don't know if it's the caffeine, or the refined sugar, or the phosporic acid, or what.

 

[Runenight201]

Yeah I mean I think you're right on colas. If I limit it to like 1 a day maybe 2 it's not so bad, but yeah more than that, colas seem to rub me the wrong way. I don't know if it's the caffeine, or the refined sugar, or the phosporic acid, or what.

I think it’s just excess sugar when it comes to the energy. For my teeth I did notice that it would weaken my enamel, and that was probably the phosphoric acid. Caffeine seems relatively safe. I consumed unknown amounts (sketch I know...) in this Herbalife guarana tea i bought, and I just felt it sharpen up my mind with no other seemingly negative effects.

 

[Cirion]

As you know I have loads of sugar in my diet, but some are just definitely worse than others (for ex. the cola). I don't have a ton of experience using straight sugar though so I can't say if I experience problems elsewhere. Maple syrup and grape juice are my main sugar sources. Grape juice does sometimes cause me some issues, but only if I drink it alone and not paired with either starch or protein of some sort. Maple syrup is an interesting one though. I find I can drink that straight and it has almost never failed to provide me energy and mood enhancement.

 

[Runenight201]

As you know I have loads of sugar in my diet, but some are just definitely worse than others (for ex. the cola). I don't have a ton of experience using straight sugar though so I can't say if I experience problems elsewhere. Maple syrup and grape juice are my main sugar sources. Grape juice does sometimes cause me some issues, but only if I drink it alone and not paired with either starch or protein of some sort. Maple syrup is an interesting one though. I find I can drink that straight and it has almost never failed to provide me energy and mood enhancement.

Yes I meant excess sugar without sufficient other nutrients. Fruit has sugar but it comes with other nutrition. Same with the maple syrup and fruit juice. I consume small amounts of grape juice with my tea sometimes and it seems fine. I don’t recommend this experiment but if you put straight sugar into water and drink it, you’ll get a manic like high and nervous excitement. Either that or you’ll find it disgusting lol. I did that and my friend who had been to a mental rehab facility told me that if I exhibited that behavior at a psych ward they would have labeled me as bipolar.

 

[Runenight201]

Vegan meal for dinner. Corn, tomatoes, broccoli, onions, mushrooms, lemon, garlic, salt, grape juice.

Very, very tasty, very satisfying. No digestive stress. Minimal bloat. No doubt meat is necessary sometimes (sorry @Cirion... I do need to check out that thread you said you started) but not all the time. Trying to figure out how to systematically detail out when meat is and isn’t needed. I just go by feel, and it seems to work out, but if I want to help clients I obviously need to have a more explicit approach. If I were to eat meat right now I’d be stressed and set back, so accurate consumption of foods is very important.

Most of the time after I eat I’m hit with fatigue and don’t want to clean up after myself. Laziness is nothing but lack of energy in my book. This time I was uplifted with energy and handled the kitchen easily and with no stress.

Onwards I go. I do feel as if I’m very close to having good consistent energy every day. I noticed that to break out of my comfort zone and make new connections, i have to be riding a high of a lot of energy, or else it feels uncomfortable and forced. Today when I was caffeinated and fueled up, I reached out to strangers very tactfully and with ease. When the energy dissipated I no longer felt as comfortable. Maintaining my present relationships require very little energy beyond basic social interactions which are very automated and easy for me. Im not sure if I have to imprint the stranger game so that it becomes an automated operation or if I must just conserve my universal congeniality for high energy waves.

 

[Runenight201]

Talk about ******* energy!

Still felt unsatisfied after vegan dinner. Figured I could make some tea and settle the stomach, but it would provide VIBRANT energy.

Decided to go back to an old recipe and mixed 1% milk with butter, and then added maple syrup.

Brain tingles, muscles are strong, hands warm, stomach satiated, goodness gracious I feel alive!!!

Im a hypocritical, bipolar, moody bastard, but I feel damn good!

 

[Cirion]

Vegan meal for dinner. Corn, tomatoes, broccoli, onions, mushrooms, lemon, garlic, salt, grape juice.

Very, very tasty, very satisfying. No digestive stress. Minimal bloat. No doubt meat is necessary sometimes (sorry @Cirion... I do need to check out that thread you said you started) but not all the time. Trying to figure out how to systematically detail out when meat is and isn’t needed. I just go by feel, and it seems to work out, but if I want to help clients I obviously need to have a more explicit approach. If I were to eat meat right now I’d be stressed and set back, so accurate consumption of foods is very important.


Most of the time after I eat I’m hit with fatigue and don’t want to clean up after myself. Laziness is nothing but lack of energy in my book. This time I was uplifted with energy and handled the kitchen easily and with no stress.

Onwards I go. I do feel as if I’m very close to having good consistent energy every day. I noticed that to break out of my comfort zone and make new connections, i have to be riding a high of a lot of energy, or else it feels uncomfortable and forced. Today when I was caffeinated and fueled up, I reached out to strangers very tactfully and with ease. When the energy dissipated I no longer felt as comfortable. Maintaining my present relationships require very little energy beyond basic social interactions which are very automated and easy for me. Im not sure if I have to imprint the stranger game so that it becomes an automated operation or if I must just conserve my universal congeniality for high energy waves.

I would almost certainly agree that at the very least, there's some need for protein sometimes, especially since in hypothyroid you are indeed protein deficient (but also protein toxic) but there are games you can play to avoid the problems with animal protein despite this. My latest hypothesis (and thus, will be my next experiment) is that protein powders would be invaluable in hypothyroid recovery as they are 3-4x easier to digest (at least) compared to whole animal meat. I wonder also then if the tryptophan contained in powders more readily convert to niacin (ie, less damaging) than the tryptophan in whole meat. My mind is almost my own again after 2 days of avoiding animal meat, thank God. My mind was going down into the depths of hell for a while there but I'm almost out of the lake of fire again. I think the only actual full animal product I will ever eat again is maybe liver / organ meat and only then max like 1x a week.

I'm starting off with bone broth protein as its probably the most benign protein next to gelatin. If this goes well, perhaps I may try a scoop or two of casein and/or whey. But I know if bone broth doesn't sit well with me, casein and whey definitely won't as they're richer in the toxic aminos.

I also definitely 100% agree about accurate consumption of foods. That's why I have been tracking explicit data for 5 months and counting now. I don't know if you enjoy tracking data as much as me (I suspect not, but maybe I'm wrong), but it truly is the best way to really get those "Aha!" moments. I get the impression you prefer to do the more "intuitive" approach? Hell, maybe we do a joint book writing? You write all your subjective experiences and I provide all the data? We could be business partners LOL! I am really only half kidding. I really do kinda want to write an e-book or something at least once I get well and teach everyone what I learned and how I got well.

So basically, I think the age old recommendations to get at least something like 100-150 grams a day (For a male anyway) of protein is likely accurate... with the caveat that the proteins must be of the highest quality and in hypothyroid no whole animal meats allowed and also no whole dairy foods.

I agree with laziness being nothing but a lack of energy.

I feel like I'm getting closer too =) Hopefully we both get it soon lol.

I also know exactly what you mean about confidence in social interactions. Despite being pretty messed up metabolically, I actually find I am actually not half bad socially nowadays with new people, better than in the past. I'm friendly and relatively confident and can easily crack jokes etc. This should serve me well in an interview I have coming up in Florida this coming monday. Back 2 yr ago in my best health, new social interactions came almost effortlessly, I cannot wait to get back to that.

 

[Runenight201]

To the tune of C-G-D

Im a hypocritical! Bipolar! Moody bastard, and I feel good!

Repeat 2x

Em-D
So won’t you catch, this high, and ride with me, until we die!

Im singing again and playing music. Good signs.

I would almost certainly agree that at the very least, there's some need for protein sometimes, especially since in hypothyroid you are indeed protein deficient (but also protein toxic) but there are games you can play to avoid the problems with animal protein despite this. My latest hypothesis (and thus, will be my next experiment) is that protein powders would be invaluable in hypothyroid recovery as they are 3-4x easier to digest (at least) compared to whole animal meat. I wonder also then if the tryptophan contained in powders more readily convert to niacin (ie, less damaging) than the tryptophan in whole meat. My mind is almost my own again after 2 days of avoiding animal meat, thank God. My mind was going down into the depths of hell for a while there but I'm almost out of the lake of fire again. I think the only actual full animal product I will ever eat again is maybe liver / organ meat and only then max like 1x a week.

I'm starting off with bone broth protein as its probably the most benign protein next to gelatin. If this goes well, perhaps I may try a scoop or two of casein and/or whey. But I know if bone broth doesn't sit well with me, casein and whey definitely won't as they're richer in the toxic aminos.

I also definitely 100% agree about accurate consumption of foods. That's why I have been tracking explicit data for 5 months and counting now. I don't know if you enjoy tracking data as much as me (I suspect not, but maybe I'm wrong), but it truly is the best way to really get those "Aha!" moments. I get the impression you prefer to do the more "intuitive" approach? Hell, maybe we do a joint book writing? You write all your subjective experiences and I provide all the data? We could be business partners LOL

So basically, I think the age old recommendations to get at least something like 100-150 grams a day (For a male anyway) of protein is likely accurate... with the caveat that the proteins must be of the highest quality and in hypothyroid no whole animal meats allowed and also no whole dairy foods.

I agree with laziness being nothing but a lack of energy.

I feel like I'm getting closer too =) Hopefully we both get it soon lol.

I also know exactly what you mean about confidence in social interactions. Despite being pretty messed up metabolically, I actually find I am actually not half bad socially nowadays with new people, better than in the past. I'm friendly and relatively confident and can easily crack jokes etc. This should serve me well in an interview I have coming up in Florida this coming monday. Back 2 yr ago in my best health, new social interactions came almost effortlessly, I cannot wait to get back to that.

I took a departure from the data observation approach a while ago, because I wanted to focus all my energy on maximizing my self-conscious awareness. Or perhaps I’m lazy! Ive noticed that one’s present condition is much more closely regulated by the foods immediately consumed rather than by the sum of an entire days worth of food. Hence why I could have an ecstatic morning and then a terrible evening, all because I took one misstep in the dietary train. Now an hour by hour tracking of metabolism and energy in conjunction with diet recording would be interesting, but who has time for that!

Then again I do want to be able to map out physiological states with appropriate food consumption, so it could be an endeavor worth the effort!

In regards to book writing I think our dietary philosophies would have to align right? I mean if I’m drinking milk and eating butter and meat and your vegan with some protein powders, I’m confused as to how we would exactly be seeing eye to eye?

 

[Cirion]

I took a departure from the data observation approach a while ago, because I wanted to focus all my energy on maximizing my self-conscious awareness. Or perhaps I’m lazy! Ive noticed that one’s present condition is much more closely regulated by the foods immediately consumed rather than by the sum of an entire days worth of food. Hence why I could have an ecstatic morning and then a terrible evening, all because I took one misstep in the dietary train. Now an hour by hour tracking of metabolism and energy in conjunction with diet recording would be interesting, but who has time for that!

Then again I do want to be able to map out physiological states with appropriate food consumption, so it could be an endeavor worth the effort!

In regards to book writing I think our dietary philosophies would have to align right? I mean if I’m drinking milk and eating butter and meat and your vegan with some protein powders, I’m confused as to how we would exactly be seeing eye to eye?

Oh I don't disagree that foods chosen at the moment absolutely matter. I'm definitely aware of that too, but overall, I've noticed the most important thing is get the food intakes right overall for the whole day -- because when you do that, you increase your thyroid/waking energy/temps the next morning. When you wake up on the right foot as opposed to the wrong foot, everything is better for the whole next day also.

Lol you're right, I guess we do disagree on the correct foods huh. But here's the thing. I really do think there is a truly optimal "Easiest to Digest/Handle" diet. I'm finding this by necessity because I'm so sick. I strongly disagree that peanut butter or dairy or meat will EVER work optimally for a hypothyroid person, but I guess I'm open to be corrected. Someone who is a lot healthier on the health-o-spectrum like yourself probably doesn't need to be on the "Easiest to Digest" diet and has more freedom to choose other foods. If you do indeed start trying to help people, you must consider that most people will be very sick, sometimes even sicker than me, and I sincerely doubt they'll handle milk, meat, peanut butter, any of that stuff. All that said, if peanut butter DOES happen to boost someones waking temp, then heck, go for it. That's the ultimate goal, after all.

I handled foods like that 10x better when I wasn't fat/metabolically sick. So even if peanut butter and dairy works for you (and I don't doubt that they seem to sometimes for you), I don't think they work for people like myself except in rare circumstances or using exotic treatments like excess thyroid / antibiotics ETC...

Basically I think wherever you are on the health-o-spectrum as I call it, also defines how much leeway you have in food selection, which would also be a spectrum, and you would align the spectrums together essentially and hopefully slowly you can increase your food selection as you get better (that's what I'm wondering if I'll discover as i improve).

 

[Runenight201]

Oh I don't disagree that foods chosen at the moment absolutely matter. I'm definitely aware of that too, but overall, I've noticed the most important thing is get the food intakes right overall for the whole day -- because when you do that, you increase your thyroid/waking energy/temps the next morning. When you wake up on the right foot as opposed to the wrong foot, everything is better for the whole next day also.

Lol you're right, I guess we do disagree on the correct foods huh. But here's the thing. I really do think there is a truly optimal "Easiest to Digest/Handle" diet. I'm finding this by necessity because I'm so sick. I strongly disagree that peanut butter or dairy or meat will EVER work optimally for a hypothyroid person, but I guess I'm open to be corrected. Someone who is a lot healthier on the health-o-spectrum like yourself probably doesn't need to be on the "Easiest to Digest" diet and has more freedom to choose other foods. If you do indeed start trying to help people, you must consider that most people will be very sick, sometimes even sicker than me, and I sincerely doubt they'll handle milk, meat, peanut butter, any of that stuff. All that said, if peanut butter DOES happen to boost someones waking temp, then heck, go for it. That's the ultimate goal, after all.

I handled foods like that 10x better when I wasn't fat/metabolically sick. So even if peanut butter and dairy works for you (and I don't doubt that they seem to sometimes for you), I don't think they work for people like myself except in rare circumstances or using exotic treatments like excess thyroid / antibiotics ETC...

Basically I think wherever you are on the health-o-spectrum as I call it, also defines how much leeway you have in food selection, which would also be a spectrum, and you would align the spectrums together essentially and hopefully slowly you can increase your food selection as you get better (that's what I'm wondering if I'll discover as i improve).

Well I think my clientele would primarily be around people who like to strength train. The lose fat gain muscle type of people. After all I do work at a commercial gym. So for the most part I think I could tell em to load up the butter milk bananas and maple syrup if they want to be strong as an ox!

I don’t think I could morally charge people who are sick and want to get healthy. I would just talk to them and share my experiences and suggest they try certain things and give my opinion on other matters and whether what they are doing is in their best interest. The amount of people who complain to me about health problems at the gym and eat pbjs with goldfish for lunch astounds me. Or who are insomniac but restrict carbs and eat only chicken and veggies...

 

[Cirion]

Gotcha. Well, after I start to get well finally, I'll probably start to lift weights again myself. Then I'll probably start to figure out how to optimize my diet in the context of lifting. To be honest, my approach probably won't change that much. My approach will still be -- how to maintain 98.4F+ waking temps each and every morning etc. The only difference would be, the same macros I have now will likely have to shift in certain ways a bit and calories will probably have to increase. I think if you can do that, then strength gains should be automatic, but of course that's just my working theory until I can prove it. I'll also probably develop my own weightlifting plan. Most plans I have followed in the past made me crash eventually due to just too long workouts causing lactic acid buildup.

 

[Runenight201]

A little confused, but think I’m headed in the right direction. It’s like every path I head down doesn’t directly take me to the final destination, but it’s still on the way. By experimenting with different ways of eating, I experience what the resultant physiological and psychological states are like, and then I’m able to consume certain foods in order to attain the desired effects.

While I don’t think my rice, veggie, meat, fruit diet is the answer, it did open me up to understanding how those foods make me feel, act, and think, and also how they digest in my stomach.

Every meal is a learning experience, and I continually grow. Sometimes I become distracted or forget, but I maintain confidence in my ability to get back on path.

Playing around with much more cocoa and dairy fat in my diet. It seems to both satiate, give me strength, warmth, as well as not cause any digestive discomfort. In fact, the cocoa + milk option is much more digestively friendly than the milk on its own. Add a little sugar, and I get that brain high, but maintain warm hands and good strength. The Swiss miss is the easiest option, although it does have some preservatives. I think the ratio of sugar to cocoa is effective. It also has some coconut oil in there, so I guess that’s a good thing? Never really liked coconut oil on its own, but paired with cocoa and sugar it seems to be fine.

I had some nut bars with some cocoa in them, and I liked the digestive ease with which they went down and how they also alleviated my hunger. Much better than say a rice meal, which usually just bloats and stresses me. While I’m not sure if the nuts were the answer, the cocoa + sugar definitely was. May play around with more nuts coated in cocoa + sugar if I feel it appropriate. Paired with a banana or some raisins I could see it being a really tasty meal.

 

[Runenight201]

Had a much higher fat diet these past couple meals, which has resulted in my food digesting much better. I think corn is the most digestively friendly starch for me. Potatoes come in second. I have been combining them with sour cream and cheese. Very filling and warming. I do about a 1-4 ratio of fat to carb, and that seems the most appealing and natural combination to me.

I had some sour cream with chicken for one of my meals, and the digestive discomfort, constipation, and resultant brain fog was crippling. I was mixing up my words, and my verbal recall went down. I drank some cola which helped immensely. After smoking some tobacco I had a bowel movement and then felt much better. Either I had to much meat or meat always clogs me.

I will probably be cutting back on meat tomorrow, and keeping the fruit, sugar, fat, and corn/potatoes.

 

[Cirion]

Interesting. Maltodextrin is made from corn, isn't it? Maybe this explains why I did well on it back in the days...

I find the same with potatoes. It is pretty much the only starch I regularly consume.

I find chicken to be really bad news. Its super high in tryptophan compared to beef. I can (sort of) tolerate beef, in small quantities, but chicken reaaaaally messes me up.