Runenights Musings

[Runenight201]

Been experimenting extensively with different substances, most notably being wine, spices, oils, herbs, and of course food. At the crux of all these experiments has been a development of bodily awareness, which increases daily. What I've noticed is that there is a state of being, in which I integrate both physical and psychological coordination, so that I move effortlessly and without any tension in the body. The Alexander Technique first eluded me towards this way of moving, but it goes much deeper than just physical motion. In order to achieve such physical motion, the psychological state has to be primed for it, and in order for the psychological state to be primed for the motion, the dietary inputs have to be correct. While it may be possible to achieve such awareness with solely psychological measures, I have personally found that there must be a nutritional priming of the body, and in turn mind, for the most effective examination and modulation of being.

A most accurate explanation of this graceful state would involve a complete lightness of the body, in which all the appendages move without any tension being felt within the upper thoracic and cranial regions. In the stressed state, the jaw, neck, and shoulders have a predisposition to tighten up automatically, preceding any movement OR thought. In the stress-free state, these regions are completely relaxed, and the body moves in perfect efficiency, activating every muscle correctly down the kinesthetic chain in order to carry out the planned motion. In this state, the mind is also perfectly relaxed, and thoughts are able to proceed without any proceeding stress or tension responses in the body and mind.

I am currently in such a state, and being here, I wonder whether I will be able to maintain it upon waking tomorrow. A cursory overview of the nutritional inputs that led me here involved meat soup, berry smoothie, whole milk and belvita cookies, tobacco/marijuana, stimulating exercise, water, and a couple glasses of chardonnay. I have growing confidence in my culinary skills, and in an ability to modulate my state according to Its needs. I plan on re-introducing juicing, and I'm hypothesizing that a mixture of carrots, blueberries, and apples will prove to be an incredibly pleasurable and effective concoction. I may throw in some mint just to see how the drink responds, but I know that there has to be a base of solid sugars for the drink to be pleasurable. The green smoothies of kale and other herbs are an affront on the senses. My hands feel cold, which is a clear cut sign of the need for fat, salt, spices, water, and meat, in the combination of a savory soup. I went to a health foods store earlier today and picked up a good amount of spices. I plan on making this soup with cilantro, green onions, turmeric, chili powder, onion flakes, vegetable broth, and meat.

Good night and sweet dreams.

 

[Runenight201]

Back and forth don't I go on this pendulum. I think I know it then suddenly I'm all twisted.

Today I had the most positive reaction to ginger green tea with honey. At first I thought the ginger to taste too spicy, but it seemed to have really positive effects on my cranial electrical activity. I felt the center light turn on, very intensely, just how I like it. It was definitely important to combine this with the honey. I went out and bought some ginger-ale, lemonade soda, thinking that the lemon would add some increased benefits beyond the ginger. However, the soda failed to be as useful, and it seemed like the lemon juice, rather than helping out, was getting in the way. It definitely got me out of a negative state that I am now certain eggs bring me into (one of constipation and subdued cognition), but it wasn't the same enlightenment that I had earlier with ginger green tea. That was almost nirvana. I was driving with my pops to move a couch, and the world was so stimulating. Everything, the stores on the side of the road, the people in their cars, the advertisements on the highway, everything drew my interest, and I wanted to know what was going on with everything. In fact, by the end of helping my dad move the couch, I felt such intense hunger in my stomach, but I was still happy, drugged up on the ginger green honey tea! Usually hunger brings the most negative of moods, but not this time! The soda also uses HFCS, which I think is not as beneficial as the sugars in honey. I failed to come anywhere near as close to the experience I had earlier with the ginger green tea. In fact, I think corn syrup itself may be harmful rather than good.

Today in my tutoring session, I decided to positively reward my students with starbursts. I figured the incentive of sugar and then the sugar itself would be a positive feedback loop for more productive sessions. This was also borne out in my positive experience with the ginger green honey tea earlier that day and over the course of my past experimentations. Upon doling out 2 students a starburst each, what I saw was rather shocking. One girl, who was usually quite well-behaved, began acting out, and making the oddest of behaviors. The second student, who had already mentioned to me this feeling of always being thirsty (chronically dehydrated, so he already has some form of malnourishment), began falling asleep right at my table! I managed to incentivize him to keep working with another starburst, but a little bit later realized that it was a bad idea, as the starburst were harming these kids! Of course, the second student managed to force himself, against all natural desires, to finish the work so that he could get his second reward. I had to deny giving anymore treats to the first girl, because I saw the harm it was causing, and the poor girl could neither understand why I did so and naturally became upset at me. And the kicker is right after the second student was done with his session, he went out and bought a whole packet of starburst!

Figuring I had to experiment with what I just gave to these kids on myself, I tried a starburst, and definitely felt it to be a negative experience. Instead of stimulating, it seemed to pleasurably, sedate me, and I felt my conscious state being thrown off. How so, I couldn't accurately describe, but I felt it to be bad. Upon looking at the ingredients of starburst, what I think to be causing the negative effects is some combination of the corn syrup and perhaps the tapioca starch that they use to make it chewy. The hydrogenated oils could also be problematic, but through a Peatarian lens it should be safe, since the fat has become saturated.

Moving forward, I think it is best to incentivize my students with harder candy, like peppermints and lollipops. I eat these all the time with no negative effects, only positive, so I think it would be safe to give those out as well. So be warned, not all sugar sources are safe! And I definitely recommend the ginger, green honey tea. I put a little bit of aloe vera in there too, and some guava, brewed for 15-20 minutes, then strained it all out. So, perhaps all of these ingredients could have contributed as well to the great effects!

 

[Runenight201]

Currently experiencing extreme serenity. Brought on by predominately the green tea, specially bought from a tea store known for its fine leaves, and aided by ad libidum feeding of milk chocolate pretzels, Girl Scout cookies, and a nature valley bar. The milk chocolate pretzels felt the most rewarding, and the other snacks were just fillers that led me ultimately to the pretzels. The green tea was brewed solo this time, with no added ingredients.

As I drank the tea, I felt the pleasurable sensation in my head slowly increasing until about 2 minutes after finishing the beverage, when it climaxed into a blissful coat of being. The tea certainly is relatively more expensive to grocery store leaves, but after these two experiences, I’m absolutely convinced of its powers. Tomorrow I plan on making my own super drink by incorporating in ginger with the tea. I do not think I will put honey into the tea, but rather eat it separately on the side. But those are minute details aside from the main point which is that the agitated, unfocused, unstimulated state of being can be completely remedied by dietary input.

I’ve always been aware of the damage improper foods can do, but I’m beginning to center around the notion that most animal products are severely problematic. Very rarely can I consume meat, eggs, or milk in their normal form before running into negative effects. I think milk is perhaps the safest, when combined with chocolate and sugar, but it seems that in the past couple months all my efforts of attempting to eat meat and eggs usually end with constipation, lowered energy, cognitive impairment, and subpar quality of life. I’ll admit my strength increases, and traditional masculine characteristics, but at the cost of all the aforementioned cons and ultimate degeneration of my health. I am skeptical of a pure vegan diet being completely able to nourish my body so that my musculoskeletal system is capable, and so will continue on with milk consumption in its various, least problematic, hopefully generative, forms. I have yet to experiment extensively with fish eggs and other forms of sea food, so perhaps there is treasure there, but of the land animals, I am convinced of their flesh’s inadequacy.

 

[boris]

...Today in my tutoring session, I decided to positively reward my students with starbursts. I figured the incentive of sugar and then the sugar itself would be a positive feedback loop for more productive sessions. This was also borne out in my positive experience with the ginger green honey tea earlier that day and over the course of my past experimentations. Upon doling out 2 students a starburst each, what I saw was rather shocking. One girl, who was usually quite well-behaved, began acting out, and making the oddest of behaviors. The second student, who had already mentioned to me this feeling of always being thirsty (chronically dehydrated, so he already has some form of malnourishment), began falling asleep right at my table! I managed to incentivize him to keep working with another starburst, but a little bit later realized that it was a bad idea, as the starburst were harming these kids! Of course, the second student managed to force himself, against all natural desires, to finish the work so that he could get his second reward. I had to deny giving anymore treats to the first girl, because I saw the harm it was causing, and the poor girl could neither understand why I did so and naturally became upset at me. And the kicker is right after the second student was done with his session, he went out and bought a whole packet of starburst!

Figuring I had to experiment with what I just gave to these kids on myself, I tried a starburst, and definitely felt it to be a negative experience. Instead of stimulating, it seemed to pleasurably, sedate me, and I felt my conscious state being thrown off. How so, I couldn't accurately describe, but I felt it to be bad. Upon looking at the ingredients of starburst, what I think to be causing the negative effects is some combination of the corn syrup and perhaps the tapioca starch that they use to make it chewy. The hydrogenated oils could also be problematic, but through a Peatarian lens it should be safe, since the fat has become saturated.

The colourings are probably the most problematic parts.

A List of Ingredients in Starburst Candy to Leave You Stunned
Ingredients in Starburst Fruit Chews

• Corn syrup
• Sugar
• Hydrogenated palm kernel oil and/or palm oil
• Fruit juice from concentrate (apple, strawberry, lemon, orange, cherry)
• Citric acid
• Dextrin
• Gelatin
• Food starch-modified
• Natural and artificial flavors
• Ascorbic acid (vitamin c)
• Coloring (red 40, yellow 6, yellow 5, blue 1)

4. Colors: This is again a topic of fierce debate. Various color dyes (a food additive used to deepen the color of candy) are considered as contributing factors for hyperactivity in children, ADHD, cancer, and allergic reactions. Most dyes are made from petroleum. Various non-organic, processed foods and drinks contain these dyes. Red 40 and Yellow 5 and 6 contain the chemical benzene, a known carcinogen. More studies are required to prove the health effects of benzene, but till then, it is better to avoid it. Although many nations have banned the use of artificial additives containing benzene, American companies are freely using Red 40 and Yellow 5 and 6 in various processed foods. It has been found that Yellow 6 and Yellow 5 behave like 'estrogen' in the human body. High estrogen levels can cause breast cancer. It is suspected that Blue 1 can cause chromosomal damage. Use of Blue 1 is banned in France and Finland. Apart from hyperactivity and aggression, Yellow 5 and 6 can cause insomnia, asthma, allergies, thyroid tumors, etc. Even if the food dye content in a candy is pretty low, it does not mean that the candy is healthy. It just means that the risk is relatively low.

Yellow 5 (Tartrazine)
Potential health effects on humans[edit]
Sensitivity[edit]
Tartrazine appears to cause the most allergic and intolerance reactions of all the azo dyes, particularly among asthmatics and those with an aspirin intolerance.[11] Symptoms from tartrazine sensitivity can occur by either ingestion or cutaneous exposure to a substance containing tartrazine. Symptoms appear after periods of time ranging from minutes up to 14 hours.[12]

The prevalence of tartrazine intolerance is estimated at roughly 360,000 U.S. Citizens affected, less than 0.12% of the general population.[13] According to the FDA, tartrazine causes hives in fewer than 1 in 10,000 people, or 0.01%.[14]

It is not clear how many individuals are sensitive or intolerant to tartrazine, but the University of Guelph estimates that it is 1 to 10 out of every ten thousand people (0.01% to 0.1% of the population).[15] There is much controversy about whether tartrazine has ill effects on individuals who are not clearly intolerant.

Total avoidance is the most common way to deal with tartrazine sensitivity,[16] but progress has been made in reducing people’s tartrazine sensitivity in a study of people who are simultaneously sensitive to both aspirin and tartrazine.[17]

Asthma[edit]
A systematic review of the medical literature concluded that among patients with asthma, research has shown that exposure to tartrazine does not worsen symptoms and avoidance of tartrazine does not improve symptoms; however, "due to the paucity of evidence, it is not possible to provide firm conclusions as to the effects of tartrazine on asthma control".[18]

Food intolerance and ADHD-like behavior[edit]
Although tartrazine is one of various food colors said to cause food intolerance and ADHD-like behavior in children, evidence for this claim is lacking.[19] It is possible that certain food colorings may act as a trigger in those who are genetically predisposed, but the evidence for this effect is weak.[20][21]


Allura Red AC - Wikipedia
Studies on safety[edit]
Allura Red has been heavily studied by food safety groups in North America and Europe, and remains in wide use.

The UK FSA commissioned a study of six food dyes (tartrazine, Allura red, Ponceau 4R, Quinoline Yellow, sunset yellow, carmoisine (dubbed the "Southampton 6")), and sodium benzoate (a preservative) on children in the general population, who consumed them in beverages.[5][6] The study found "a possible link between the consumption of these artificial colours and a sodium benzoate preservative and increased hyperactivity" in the children;[5][6] the advisory committee to the FSA that evaluated the study also determined that because of study limitations, the results could not be extrapolated to the general population, and further testing was recommended.[5]

The European regulatory community, with a stronger emphasis on the precautionary principle, required labelling and temporarily reduced the acceptable daily intake (ADI) for the food colorings; the UK FSA called for voluntary withdrawal of the colorings by food manufacturers.[5][6] However, in 2009 the EFSA re-evaluated the data at hand and determined that "the available scientific evidence does not substantiate a link between the color additives and behavioral effects"[5] and in 2014 after further review of the data, the EFSA restored the prior ADI levels.[7] In 2015, the EFSA found that the exposure estimates did not exceed the ADI of 7 mg/kg per day in any population.[8]

The US FDA did not make changes following the publication of the Southampton study, but following a citizen petition filed by the Center for Science in the Public Interest in 2008, requesting the FDA ban several food additives, the FDA commenced a review of the available evidence, and still made no changes.[5]

Allura Red AC was at one time banned in Denmark, Belgium, France, and Switzerland, and was also banned in Sweden until the country joined the European Union in 1994.[9][failed verification] In Norway, and Iceland, it was banned between 1978 and 2001, a period in which azo dyes were only legally used in alcoholic beverages and some fish products.[10]

 

[boris]

You know it's serious when even wikipedia warns you about it

 

[somuch4food]

I can attest to the effect of food dyes on children behaviors.

At one party, my toddler had some of the commercial juices made out of water, sugar, flavors and colours and I could see him become hyperactive while the juice he has at home doesn't have this effect. I also noticed some effect from colorful candies while more plain ones like Rockets didn't do much.

 

[Runenight201]

I think I will stick to peppermints and hard candies then. Menthol is a great drug in any case. Clears out the sinuses very quickly!

 

[Runenight201]

Out of every drug I’ve tried, natural, synthetic, illicit, or legal, Ginger is the most powerful substance I’ve come across. It’s mixture with green tea and cinnamon has illuminated areas of my brain I never realized were inactive.

I’ve felt brain activation, but this is something novel. It’s activation without excitation, which caffeine, sugar, milk, fruit, etc all fail to do. They activate and excite, usually making me rash, but this ginger green tea is a calm activation. A composed awakening.

I’m uncertain whether in order to replicate this state I have to have the foundational energy needs met, as I drank this tea after I had finished my caloric requirements for the night. If the opportunity presents itself, I will have to experiment with the consumption of the tea while in a malnourished state, and judge it’s effects thereafter.

 

[boris]

Interesting observation. I feel a similar albeit more sublte effect from coca cola. It's a mood brightening and kind of clearer head feeling that nothing else gives me. It's almost an immediate effect anytime I take a sip. Coffee on the other hand feels more sedative to me.

I also feel like my digestion is working better. I think I'll try some ginger in coke :).

The original coke with the true oils and full coca leaf extract must have felt amazing.

 

[Runenight201]

Interesting observation. I feel a similar albeit more sublte effect from coca cola. It's a mood brightening and kind of clearer head feeling that nothing else gives me. It's almost an immediate effect anytime I take a sip. Coffee on the other hand feels more sedative to me.

I also feel like my digestion is working better. I think I'll try some ginger in coke :).

The original coke with the true oils and full coca leaf extract must have felt amazing.

The full Coca leaf extract would be very interesting to try. I would love to put some coca leaves in my tea instead of having to brew so many green tea leaves... I notice that green tea isn’t as stimulating as black tea, ginger, or the coffee bean. On its own it’s dull, and does not have the same useful center cranial activation that I seek out. Too much caffeine has its negative effects though, and so other stimulants perhaps might be more useful, like perhaps the cocaine from the coca leaf or the nicotine from the tobacco leaf. I am going to be experimenting with adding more foliage to my tea, as the ginger, cinnamon, and green tea are good, but I can tell it’s missing something. I have yohimbe on hand, so I’ll start with that.

In regards to ginger and Coca Cola, I’m unsure if heating it up is required as opposed to its consumption raw. I most certainly prefer the heated tea. This is a good opportunity for me to investigate some physics and chemistry to learn the difference between the two Ginger states!

If coffee is sedative, and cola not, I would guess that perhaps your body is needing energy, and the cola provides the sugars which do so, whereas caffeine is directly unable to provide energy (but indirectly can? I’ve invested so much energy into my own bodily awareness that I’ve let my knowledge of nutrition and chemistry fall off. A weakness for sure, but necessary for me to reach where I’m currently at).

 

[Runenight201]

Can't remember if I've talked about blood flow before, which must be because I don't have enough blood flow to the part of my brain that captures memories, but I've been perceiving my experience of the world in terms of blood flow around my body. It is intrinsically tied with bodily warmth, which also ties in nicely with metabolism and energy. Practically every time I feel the warm blood expanding and pulsating throughout my body, I feel the most alive, secure, capable, and true. I've been playing around with alcohol a lot lately, and it is without a doubt a potent expander of my blood flow. My hands, which are my weakest points (that I'm able to most easily perceive. By natural intuition, I've come to the conclusions that there are also many other areas of my body that do not receive adequate blood flow, such as the aforementioned memory centers, as well as my toes, areas of my hips, lower back, etc...) swell up with blood and warmth upon the ingestion of nourishment which is beneficial to my corpus. After a couple sips of la Croix mixed with tequila, my arms and hands immediately flooded with warmth, and my armpits are so hot that they are in fact sweating as I type this. I do not think this is the most optimal method of bodily heat creation, as I definitely feet the impairment of the effects of the alcohol, in terms of subdued spatial awareness tracking, but without a doubt I am having a rush of blood to my language capabilities, as I am currently writing and thinking far beyond my everyday capabilities.

As I experience different realms of abilities through disperse nourishment, it awakens me to the possibilities of a fully capable human. We are in everyway capable of the most profound and talented capabilities, should our energy be expansive and our attention taken into whichever direction is of interest. The ordinary, average individual is only subdued and suboptimal, and should their energy be allowed to expand and develop through proper nourishment, over sufficient time, they can become capable of absolute greatness. I have noted in my various expansions of self, that it is easy for the ego to become inflated and grandious, and so maintaining and firm Divine ground helps to humble and keep the self in check.

But traversing this Divine ground, the alignment with that which is expansive and life-bringing, is a difficult and oft erred path. The priorities have to be kept in check, and the most salient priority is this walk with the expansive energy. But I already feel the warmth fading, the inspiration fleeting, and thus the expansion dwindling away. No doubt, my ability to maintain such expansion is pivotal to my full actualization as a human being. I have been hesitant to play around with too many drugs and chemicals besides the ones which I am most familiar with, but I am all to aware of their capabilities to absolutely transform and augment the human experience. Part of me is waiting for this absolute assurance in the nutritional inputs into my body before I play in new arenas. Above all, I tend to always feel a hunger in the pit of stomach, as if I'm never able to reach absolute, complete satiety. I have come closer and closer in these last couple weeks, but still haven't found the absolute answer I've been seeking. Regardless, I am very satisfied with my progress so far, as my life is without a doubt saved from the degenerative path I had been on. The final solution (and damn the Nazis for taking that phrase, but for lack of better creativity I intend to use that phrase, which I presume the reader will interpret correctly given my context) is only a matter of time.

 

[Runenight201]

Ate some shrimp stew in the evening. My body needed strength, and I ran out of red meat. Shrimp was a mistake. I think I may be allergic to it. It just does not digest well. Felt similar indigestión comparable to when I drink whey protein. Finding a highly digestible pro-metabolic protein source is absolutely crucial. I had made a red meat soup with Alfredo cream which was very good. I think I will continue to pair meat with cream of some sort. It makes the dish much more digestively and energetically friendly. My plan is to try chicken thighs tomorrow with Alfredo sauce and see how that works out. I hope it goes well because chicken is very cheap, but I will attempt to remain as impartial as I can in its assessment.

Tequila neutralized the negative indigestion from shrimp quite rapidly. My energy had lowered and I was feeling very apathetic. The tequila drove intense warmth into my body. Nothing warms me more than tequila. What is with tequila. This warmth is captivating. I must find a way to make it mine always.

 

[Runenight201]

I placed myself into a well-nourished state, and then began to practice breathwork. I started with a Buteyko approach of slowing down my breath rate, strictly through my nose, and as I did so, I noticed my pulse rate and body warmth begin to slowly increase. My bodily pulse culminated in a hard thumping felt throughout my feet and hands. I take this as my bodily CO2 raising substantially, and my life energy thus being allowed to circulate powerfully throughout my body. While in this meditative state, life questions that have been nagging me, such as how I should be spending my time while nourished, seem to have entered into my consciousness undoubtedly. What I noticed during this practice was that my body kept wanting to revert back to a higher breath rate, and I felt a thirst for more air from my bouts of intentional slowed breathing. Somehow my internal set point for CO2 and my breathing rate need to become permanently changed, so that I can have that vitality flowing through my body at all times. I can achieve such a state while laying comfortably in my bed with a warm heat source by me.... but even the simplest of actions such as standing up and walking can disrupt the pattern. I must make the automated behavior such that I maintain the breath rate even in the most stressful of circumstances!

I have noticed that stressed individuals have disrupted breathing patterns. Mouth breathing is a stressed behavior. I have noticed that individuals in a stressed state will need to mouth breathe while doing simple tasks such as daily chores. They may need to frequently mouth breath while having a conversation. I have also noticed that their voice will be caught in a tense state, as if their vocal muscles are not completely relaxed. In men, this usually manifests as a high pitched, tense voice, and I have noticed that my voice will change drastically depending on the state I'm in, with a resonate, deep tone occurring when I am most relaxed and de-stressed. I am unsure of how this manifests in women, but I assume it would be tense vocal tone as well. I am captivated by the sound of a very relaxed, feminine voice, which I rarely find in the general population. It's interesting how men prefer a female voice for GPS navigation, and I'll personally state that the sound of that soft voice is very relaxing. I enjoy listening to ASMR when I want to be soothed.

Carrying this investigation of tension in the voice into tension in the body, I would also state then that stressed individuals have a higher tendency towards tight muscles, and so poor flexibility could be a sign as well of a stressed individual. The warmer my body is, the more flexible I naturally become. There's something about human movement, singing, speaking, that draws me. I intend to re-emphasize my movement training around breathwork, and practice a more yogic exercise routine. Traditional yoga bores me to tears, but I do know that their emphasis on breath and movement is fundamental. I have a couple of times on a whim forcefully and intensely cleared out my nasal passages through vigorous nasal breathing, and noticed an intense sensation in my cranial space of what seemed like fire. Tobacco, mint, and xylitol interestingly enough clears up my nasal passages and thus allows for improved air flow.

I'd like to conclude with a note on our external environment. For the most part, our external environment is out of our control. We are constantly bombarded with sub-par air quality, EMF, plastics, chemicals, odors, etc.... While we can do our best to minimize our exposure to such factors and place ourselves in suitable environments, this may not be a practical solution for the majority of the world. I have also noted that even in my 1960s built house, with a dusty blanket on me, surrounded by 5G, I am still fully capable of fully feeling vital life energy flowing through my body when I am well-nourished and de-stressed. I think it is better to build up the corpus to become resilient to these offenses rather than living in a fear state of avoidance and paranoia surrounding such intrusions. After all, historically, the environment has always and will always change, and what we see is life continually adapting to new environments in order to succeed and thrive. I thus believe that a strong, vital, life affirming individual will epigenetically handle the changing environment!

 

[somuch4food]

I placed myself into a well-nourished state, and then began to practice breathwork. I started with a Buteyko approach of slowing down my breath rate, strictly through my nose, and as I did so, I noticed my pulse rate and body warmth begin to slowly increase. My bodily pulse culminated in a hard thumping felt throughout my feet and hands. I take this as my bodily CO2 raising substantially, and my life energy thus being allowed to circulate powerfully throughout my body. While in this meditative state, life questions that have been nagging me, such as how I should be spending my time while nourished, seem to have entered into my consciousness undoubtedly. What I noticed during this practice was that my body kept wanting to revert back to a higher breath rate, and I felt a thirst for more air from my bouts of intentional slowed breathing. Somehow my internal set point for CO2 and my breathing rate need to become permanently changed, so that I can have that vitality flowing through my body at all times. I can achieve such a state while laying comfortably in my bed with a warm heat source by me.... but even the simplest of actions such as standing up and walking can disrupt the pattern. I must make the automated behavior such that I maintain the breath rate even in the most stressful of circumstances!

I have noticed that stressed individuals have disrupted breathing patterns. Mouth breathing is a stressed behavior. I have noticed that individuals in a stressed state will need to mouth breathe while doing simple tasks such as daily chores. They may need to frequently mouth breath while having a conversation. I have also noticed that their voice will be caught in a tense state, as if their vocal muscles are not completely relaxed. In men, this usually manifests as a high pitched, tense voice, and I have noticed that my voice will change drastically depending on the state I'm in, with a resonate, deep tone occurring when I am most relaxed and de-stressed. I am unsure of how this manifests in women, but I assume it would be tense vocal tone as well. I am captivated by the sound of a very relaxed, feminine voice, which I rarely find in the general population. It's interesting how men prefer a female voice for GPS navigation, and I'll personally state that the sound of that soft voice is very relaxing. I enjoy listening to ASMR when I want to be soothed.

Carrying this investigation of tension in the voice into tension in the body, I would also state then that stressed individuals have a higher tendency towards tight muscles, and so poor flexibility could be a sign as well of a stressed individual. The warmer my body is, the more flexible I naturally become. There's something about human movement, singing, speaking, that draws me. I intend to re-emphasize my movement training around breathwork, and practice a more yogic exercise routine. Traditional yoga bores me to tears, but I do know that their emphasis on breath and movement is fundamental. I have a couple of times on a whim forcefully and intensely cleared out my nasal passages through vigorous nasal breathing, and noticed an intense sensation in my cranial space of what seemed like fire. Tobacco, mint, and xylitol interestingly enough clears up my nasal passages and thus allows for improved air flow.

I'd like to conclude with a note on our external environment. For the most part, our external environment is out of our control. We are constantly bombarded with sub-par air quality, EMF, plastics, chemicals, odors, etc.... While we can do our best to minimize our exposure to such factors and place ourselves in suitable environments, this may not be a practical solution for the majority of the world. I have also noted that even in my 1960s built house, with a dusty blanket on me, surrounded by 5G, I am still fully capable of fully feeling vital life energy flowing through my body when I am well-nourished and de-stressed. I think it is better to build up the corpus to become resilient to these offenses rather than living in a fear state of avoidance and paranoia surrounding such intrusions. After all, historically, the environment has always and will always change, and what we see is life continually adapting to new environments in order to succeed and thrive. I thus believe that a strong, vital, life affirming individual will epigenetically handle the changing environment!

Amen to that. I also notice easier and slower breathing when I feel right.

Focusing on building resistance to the environment instead of running away from it is the way to go in my opinion too.

 

[Runenight201]

Cream! Cream on everything! Cream in my soup, cream on my meat, cream on my vegetables, cream in my coffee!!!! I scream for milk cream!

 

[Runenight201]

I drink red wine like it’s water. The red liquid flows through my veins, pace by pace delivering warmth to every extremity. Anytime will do!

 

[Runenight201]

Scrap the wine, enter the whisky! I made a lemon juice, sugar, whisky drink over ice...and I feel so damn good. I had been procrastinating on a couple of tasks, and after ingesting that potion I went and knocked them out right away, and it felt good to do it! I noticed that I was smiling a lot more, at everyone, and my thoughts are so positive... it’s like I’m getting the benefits from the coffee, milk, sugar combo without the negatives, which oddly enough for me was decreased cognitive abilities and dehydration. There’s a reason they call them spirits...and I will say my spirits are high! I tried a Costco margarita before making my drink, but I noticed it was much too sweet, and the tequila didn’t complement the sugar well. The toughness of the whisky negated the sweetness of the sugar perfect, and of course lime juice is a staple, giving me that vitamin c!

My behavior as of late has been very interesting to me. I no longer really do anything (outside of mandatory duties I can’t avoid) unless I really feel like it. I don’t force myself, I don’t worship motivational people or ideologies or anything like that. I know doing things like that never worked long term. I allow myself to be totally dictated by my physiological states, and in doing so, I avoid practically all stress. When I would force myself to do things, I would get so stressed out, that I would hardly enjoy it or learn anything from the experience. But here I am, just falling in flow with my states, and doing my best to ingest good nutrition avoid poisoning and subdueing my self, and i just naturally go out and do things, work, train, whatever...

last note, liquid is important. If I eat a big bowl of rice, veggies, meat, but I have no salty broth, I will become so dehydrated and constipated. Water alone WILL not help. But if I have the same meal with salty broth, I eat less solid matter, and it digests much more smoothly. It also tastes way better. I get better energy from it, and I avoid any inflammation, dehydration, stupor, brain fog, yadda yadda yadda...

 

[Runenight201]

What a hiatus, but this song brought out an instatiable urge to write



The underpinnings to write had been there, and often think to myself, well, why haven't I? Sometimes I get so caught up in my own body, but too much contemplation on bodily sensation leaves me going no where. I could end up like a zen monk, meditating for the rest of my life, and well, would I have achieved anything worthwhile? Would I lay on my death bed and say, ah yes, this life was exactly as it should of been, and if I should re-live that life a million times over, exactly as it happened, then I wouldn't have it any other way?

The song is supposed to be a depressing one, however I feel anything but. It stimulates me, but I have to account for the food mainly for such a response. White rice, prepared with some incredibly spicy herbs and vegetation, and some red wine. Something is wrong with Mexican taste buds. Their sauce has far too much capsaicin in it. I nearly had to throw out my dish because of it, however, some spanish goya ciliantro sauce was able to save it. That sauce had msg in it, and for the first time I could actually taste it. It tasted...like a drug? It felt like I was being drugged by it, oddly enough. Well that combination of drugs has been enough to get me to write, and for now I am happy with life!

I believe the answer to lie somewhere in a concoction of herbs and vegetation, but I have yet to prepare the recipe. I just know it's out there. One thing that I can rely on is my own intuition. "For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matthew 7:8). Tomorrow I plan on buying some chimichurri sauce and experimenting with its effects.

I've been using a lot of dab concentrate the past couple months. It's very relaxing and sedative. It makes me content, happy, but complacent. Anytime I feel a sense of boredom, the THC erases it, but I'm no longer sure if the subsequent behavior is worth the relief. My THC cart unexpectedly died on me today, and perhaps it was all for good reason.

I decided to take on a project to flatten some land in our backyard to build a fire pit. The work is hard and tiring. My arms are weak and I fatigue quickly. The project has been necessary, for it shows me how strong I really am. How much energy I can actually produce. It immediately demonstrates whether what I ate nourished me or not. The days the dirt is stiff, the wheelbarrow is heavy, and I have to take many breaks, my diet was no good. Today was the best work day so far though, as I sped through what took me 2 hours to do yesterday in 30 minutes (thank you coffee, sugar, and milk).

At the crux of all this investigation is to ease the burden of our own existence. It pains me to see the consequence of unnatural living, of suffering beings. There's a vegan cult out in Russia, and the leader emphatically states, that unless one eats a vegan diet, that person will suffer some type of mental or physical disease. I'm not sure he's correct about the vegan part, but he is spot on about the interplay between diet and disease. Unless we eat the correct foods, we are bound for mental or physical distress.

The hunger... it never goes away. If I make it go away, I'm incapacitated, stupefied by the excess of solid food. If I have to work, I purposely keep a light stomach, just so I can keep my physical and mental faculties sharp, but then I'm never truly warm, I'm never truly satiated, I'm never truly strong. My hands or feet will quickly go cold, but at least I'm not incapacitated.

I've had enough writing, I wish to waste away the rest of my energy lying about. If only I could lie about with other, but for now I lie about alone.

P.S. I just read through this thread. I miss @Cirion. I hope he's ok out there. He was last seen here in December. I sent him a message maybe in February? But I never got a response.

I also have a terrible memory, luckily the written word allows me to re-visit things I had forgotten. It's funny. I've seen some of my old writings, and I am taken aback at the level of intricacy involved in some of them. It's almost as if the me that created the writing was more intelligent than the I who was reading the piece. I read some of my old posts about getting in touch with the Spirit, and I vividly recall the experience again, and the comfort I felt, and the warmth, and the surety. Until we meet again :)

 

[opson123]

Nice song. I really enjoy your posts and the peaceful vibe of them.

 

[Runenight201]

I’m sad. Lonely. The more I try to understand the relation between myself and food the more distraught it seems I become. There never seems to be the profound permanent, true realization. Every attempt is monumental in its build up but then empty in its deliverance. The pit of my stomach is never satisfied, and so I spend my time experimenting and failing, pissing time away until my body feels hunger again and I can experiment once again. I’m envious of people who are part of a shared culture. Maybe that’s what we’re all missing. Just some fellow human beings who we can sing, laugh, dance, and play with. Despite all my failures growing up, I was always happiest when I had a lot of friends around me. We grow old and grow apart, wither away and get sick in our isolation. I read something that made me really sad. That there’s probably a group of people out there who’ll accept and love you exactly for who you are, except that you’ll never meet them. I watched a lot of videos about homeless people today. This one 62 yr old homeless man looked like he was about 40. He had managed to find a community of homeless people, where they looked out for each other. He lived by eating the leftovers of the rich in LA, and stated that even if he were rich, he would eat no differently. That man had less stress than so many people I see in our modern society. But he’s an exception, there was another homeless man, who looked so tired. Said that he had no family to turn too. Wife has brain cancer. So beat down that he didn’t even have anymore hope. He was asked if he could have 3 wishes what would they be, and the question caught him so far off guard. Stuck in survival mode for so long, the concept of dreaming and hoping had long been driven out. I’m thankful for my family, and the roof over my head, and my modest income, and my modest health, and my modest mind. Even though it’s far from perfect, even though it’s wanting in so many ways, at least I haven’t become hopeless. I haven’t become heartless. If I could have any wish, it would be that I find that group of people. I’d wish that we could all find that group of people.