Runenights Musings

[Runenight201]

Can’t get functional patterns out of my mind. A lot of the things it’s CEO Naudi says makes too much damn sense. Realizing that the more I am able to improve my standing posture and ability to walk/run, the better I feel. Striving to completely fix my scapular winging, rounded shoulders, and twisted trunk. I have this image of elongating my spine, pulling my neck out of my body and stretching it upwards. I try to focus on expanding my rib cage as well. I notice that I tend to feel and breathe better when I do this. I am decompressing my spine and allowing my muscles to stack on each other properly.

Today was a nice break from the paranoia. I’ve been eating more seafood and cooked carrots and feeling good after each meal. I believe my omega 6/omega 3 ratio got wrecked from eating too many low quality land animals. I would eat beef/chicken/pig and just feel so inflamed and congested and clogged.

By eating more shrimp and salmon, and limiting my fat intake, I believe I will restore my omega balance while also keeping my necessary protein intake high for optimal functioning.

I also can drink way more coffee and not get so much anxiety this way. I drank 3 cups today and had no panic attacks, whereas in my lowest states, I’d eat some eggs and drink coffee and immediately feel what would seem like cardiac arresting incoming.

I’m supplementing thyroid, D/K, but honestly I feel like they don’t do much in comparison to making sure my diet is on point, I’m exercising correctly, and making the correct decisions to avoid excessive stress and fatigue.

 

[InChristAlone]

I have never been interested in the cutting out or removing of toxic people from your life. I completely understand how it may be necessary in an individual who otherwise has no way of changing behavior, and they themselves are being negatively effected by the toxicity, but I find it most heroic to be able to change the world and people around you to be healthier, better, and more functional. I know the common trope is that you can't change people, but I suspect that is uttered by people who don't know how or are powerless to change people. Also, despite how pathological some people may be, there are seeds of positivity in most people, underneath the pathology, toxicity, trauma, and pain.

It is definitely wise to look at your relationships. My husband and I would never have been able to heal had we not moved away from his parents. They aren't toxic people but they kept us acting like children trying to get our needs met (enmeshment). And I do believe who you surround yourself with can influence your behavior. Especially women. For men maybe this is less the case if they have strong leadership abilities. That is really great you see this as a challenge to take on, inspiring others to be better people not enabling them to stay in their trauma.

 

[Runenight201]

It is definitely wise to look at your relationships. My husband and I would never have been able to heal had we not moved away from his parents. They aren't toxic people but they kept us acting like children trying to get our needs met (enmeshment). And I do believe who you surround yourself with can influence your behavior. Especially women. For men maybe this is less the case if they have strong leadership abilities. That is really great you see this as a challenge to take on, inspiring others to be better people not enabling them to stay in their trauma.

I have always been most interested in what makes people want to emulate your behavior, rather than being someone who emulates other people's behavior. My childhood included occasional personal development/leadership camps, so I have been exposed to this idea that there are humans who are powerful enough to effect change in others. Jesus Christ himself dined with sinners and healed them of their pathologies, yet in our day and age he would have had people telling him he needs to cut them off and not let their toxicity bring him down. But if your positive energy is stronger than their negative energy, you end up winning the battle, without having been brought down by their negativity.

What I find in my situation, is that even though I live in an environment that is not the most supportive, I still have full access to food, so I can prepare meals to be as generative as I can. Even though the beliefs systems around me are completely contrary to what I believe in, I have access to the internet, where I can listen to people who are more agreeable to me and less prone to triggering negative emotions. I am not incarcerated, so I am free to go walk around in my neighborhood whenever I need to get out.

I do believe however that if the people who are around you are restricting your ability to meet basic needs for optimal functioning, such as food, water, sun, and freedom of movement, then it is wise to change the environment so that these can be met.

The one thorn in my side is that my job can be very stressful at times. I have considered whether I should just stock items at a grocery store which will be significantly less stressful and still pay me enough to meet my basic needs. The only con here is that I wouldn't have my social needs entirely met. I work at a math learning center and I do find myself forming relationships with my peers and students and gaining positive emotional utility from it. It can be however very difficult at times to successfully make it through the work day without encountering high levels of stress.

I also need to boost my intelligence so that I can grapple more intellectually with the pressing themes of our time, including our socioeconomic structures, AI, and religion. I have hope that the things that I am doing, by engaging in generative energy actions, will boost my intelligence to as high as my genetic potential will allow it.