Reducing emotion and over attachment ?

Sascha6990

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Sounds like an estrogen issue to me. I was very sensitive and easily attached when I was estrogenic. Also, I tended to ignore red flags, it's like I didn't have a rational side to my brain.
 
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Most people should be like this, but most of them repress those emotions of attachment.
Once you let them flow through you, you will start living life as it truly is.
Probably you started accepting them, they intensified and now you regret it, and society imposed you to think that it's wrong to feel that way.

if its truly incontrollable then you are a sensitive person with low testo
if you don't feel any emotions then you would be full serotonin
always has to be a balance
 

LUH 3417

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This. I’ve learned in recent years how important it is for my well-being to have at least one person in my life with a similar emotional depth and when I don’t, how important it is to give myself the emotional depth I need.
I feel the same way. It doesn’t have to be a love or romantic interest, a friend of the same sex can help you heal sometimes in a much safer way. Attachment styles have a lot to do with our first interactions with primary care givers and in order to move to more secure styles or different ways of relating, I feel we need positive experiences of trust, love, and understanding. The most pain I’ve ever been in is getting involved with people who don’t share my emotional depth, but who I unconsciously approach as a project. I’ve realized in my own life I’ve always pursued these people with the hidden intent of making them more like me when really I should just be connecting with people who already feel things very deeply and are in touch with their feelings.
 

LUH 3417

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Hi Gorilla head ;-)
There is an interesting book called "Attached" everyone could benefit from reading it. It offers insight into the main modes of closeness people express the why and the how and what is changeable and what isn't its based on an old huge study. Also it isn't psychobabble or bunch or folk trying to make money out of humans trying to thrive. This will offer you insight about yourself and others, and support your choices going forward. Search the net someone's bound to have made a pdf and put online for free:): 'Love languages' book also useful resource.
On a personal note I can relate although as I've got older how I operate has evolved, still learning... Emotions are great informers of where we are at and it's useful when we can wait and choose responding over reacting.
I would start with the basics- am I getting enough quality sleep, and downtime when I'm awake, am I well nourished by what I eat if not what small step can I take to change this, do I have something I love to do that I do everyday ( for me its walking the dog) is there someone in the world I can tell it all too who responds with warmth and acceptance? If no start writing to yourself freely until you also start advising yourself like a true friend could. These few things make a world of difference because self care really matters. Slowing everything right down to be in a really deep relationship with yourself is the only starting place. There is only one you in this crazy world and your gift will develop if you honor and care for yourself as a starting point. Im over ideas like 'too' sensitive in a world full of sleepwalkers, 'should' be this or that whose the authority here, there is so much unwell thinking and living it could be that you are healthy loving and a absolute gift to your intimate other.
Just my thoughts minus proper punctuation because because because. X sending love
I am over being too sensitive in a world of sleepwalkers too! I have been told I am too sensitive by people on psychiatric meds, people so out of touch with themselves, people with no relation to their inner core etc. i have found through my own experiences that if someone responds to another human’s crying with anger rather than empathy it’s because the person responding with anger is so terrified of their own grief. At our core, we have the heart of an infant (pure and full of love) and people who can’t get in touch with their own hearts are usually the first to make others feel bad for whatever emotions they are having.
 

stoic

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High androgens and low stress hormones.

There's a reason "men don't cry", after all.
 

Peater

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It's called limerence I believe - there's a book or two on the subject, quite interesting.


Amazon product ASIN B0024NKDQCView: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Sick-Mental-Illness-ebook/dp/B0024NKDQC
 

LUH 3417

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High androgens and low stress hormones.

There's a reason "men don't cry", after all.
This is pretty reductionist and myopic, how many great works of art, music, literature etc would be missing from the human cannon would we have a world where men don’t experience feelings
 

Sascha6990

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This is pretty reductionist and myopic, how many great works of art, music, literature etc would be missing from the human cannon would we have a world where men don’t experience feelings
The fact that a man shouldn't be an emotional wreck doesn't mean he doesn't experience feelings. The same goes for women, which will naturally be more emotional than men but even in their case emotions should not always overshadow rationality. There are situations where you need and must show emotion and situations where rationality is needed. I think making this difference is important.
 

LUH 3417

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The fact that a man shouldn't be an emotional wreck doesn't mean he doesn't experience feelings. The same goes for women, which will naturally be more emotional than men but even in their case emotions should not always overshadow rationality. There are situations where you need and must show emotion and situations where rationality is needed. I think making this difference is important.
There is no *show* of emotions. You write as though an emotion is something you present. You either feel something or you don’t, it’s like an impulse. Someone either stirs your pelvis or doesn’t. How you choose to respond to the impulse is called a reaction or response. The decision making process is where rationality might play a part.
 

LUH 3417

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The fact that a man shouldn't be an emotional wreck doesn't mean he doesn't experience feelings. The same goes for women, which will naturally be more emotional than men but even in their case emotions should not always overshadow rationality. There are situations where you need and must show emotion and situations where rationality is needed. I think making this difference is important.
I also never spoke of anyone being an emotional wreck; maybe more a reflection of your experience if you equate emotionality with losing control and the uncomfortable feelings that’s caused you.
 

Runenight201

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I ain’t Buddha himself but I’d say to practice getting attached to the breath and being in the moment and not get too tangled up in thoughts and emotions and desires, etc… they are natural and come and go depending on so many psychological and hormonal factors, but the one true constant is the breath that you take in and out. A state of being present, aware, the 3rd person observer. There’s you and then there’s all the various thoughts, desires, etc…that are emanate from you but aren’t the essence of who you are.

You take power back into your hands by identifying what’s happening. For instance, when feeling attachment to someone or something, having the awareness and thought pattern to say, I am feeling this compulsion or attachment, and then redirecting the focus towards the breath can help.

Ultimately tho it is a healthy drive to want to form relationships with others, and having a healthy social life where you engage and interact with others face to face, are valued and respected, can help ease the obsession with any one person. Having a healthy ego, where you respect yourself, who you are, what your character is, can go a long way. Living authentically, and not in delusions, or fantasies, or repressing feelings, is important too.

Lastly, there could be some traumas that need to be worked through. For instance, if overly attached to women, perhaps the love from the mother was never fully developed or felt, and so you’re seeking validation from women because the one woman who was supposed to love you no matter what, unconditionally, has been damaged. That is for sure what’s happened to me and it’s wreaked havoc on my sexual life. When the therapist first identified this in me I felt an emotional cord start to swell up. The bond between my mother and I became severed when I became atheist and we have yet to be able to work through our differences to have a healthy mother-son relationship. It’s horrible.
 

Regina

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Sounds like an estrogen issue to me. I was very sensitive and easily attached when I was estrogenic. Also, I tended to ignore red flags, it's like I didn't have a rational side to my brain.
Yeah.Me too.
I'm still pretty sensitive (sensortive). It hurts my feelings when people are mean.

But it's now much easier for me to be aloof to social involvement/obligation with these people.
 

Sascha6990

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I also never spoke of anyone being an emotional wreck; maybe more a reflection of your experience if you equate emotionality with losing control and the uncomfortable feelings that’s caused you.
You were replying to a guy saying there's a reason men don't cry and I was aggreeing to that. Ok, maybe "emotional wreck" was not a good syntagm, better to say "overly emotional" :)
And yes, being overly emotional amd thus making decisions based on emotions has had a very negative impact on my life, both personal and professional.
 
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Sascha6990

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There is no *show* of emotions. You write as though an emotion is something you present. You either feel something or you don’t, it’s like an impulse. Someone either stirs your pelvis or doesn’t. How you choose to respond to the impulse is called a reaction or response. The decision making process is where rationality might play a part.
You're right, there is more to it but I'd have to reflect on that. Curious on other people's opinions too.
 

LUH 3417

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You're right, there is more to it but I'd have to reflect on that. Curious on other people's opinions too.
I just think pop psychology has permeated way too much of culture and we really don’t have a sound shared biological understanding of emotions. I think reich and lowen are treasures in this way. When you talk about choosing to show or not show an emotion, it is more complex because our body language is way beyond reason/rationality/conscious thought. So ok maybe you “hide” your sadness, but your shoulder muscles raise incrementally and your aura or energetic field subtly shifts to one of more fear and less receptivity. It’s just way more than “men don’t cry”. Lowen was a cardiologist before studying bioenergetics and has a handful of case studies of willful men who never mourned over their childhood grief having heart attacks in their 50s. Emotions are super powerful and I don’t think the Reddit/pop culture level of discourse around them helps any of us!
 

Sascha6990

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Yeah.Me too.
I'm still pretty sensitive (sensortive). It hurts my feelings when people are mean.

But it's now much easier for me to be aloof to social involvement/obligation with these people.
How long have you been peating for? It took me 3 years to completely fix this issue.
 

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