Record High Number Of People Are Not Having Sex, The Young Lead The Pack

[ecstatichamster]

Porn is the problem. Porn is very harmful to the brain.

Today’s porn provides intense novelty via streaming video and it wires the young brain strongly to electronic pixels rather than real partners. I think it is also responsible for “identifying as x”.

It’s extremely toxic. Some people wild do okay while using porn, but many do not.

 

[Pulstar]

I really don't think porn is the primary problem here. It might play a negative role, but imo, there are other variables. I've read tons of "porn addicts" accounts on Youbrainrebalanced and even they (well, some of them) admit that porn is just a symptom or a coping mechanism.

Yes, we have Internet now and porn is a mouse click away. But at the same time "porn" was already out there after the invention of black and white photography. Porn was already out there in the 60-s, porn was absolutely everywhere in the gazillions of 80-s and 90-s magazines, VHS tapes etc. Porn, imo, is not the biggest problem.

 

[Whichway?]

Women have done a lot in the last 20 years to make themselves unattractive as people. A lot more women are overweight and unattractive than when I was growing up. Add in piercings, tattoos and the attitude of **** you I’ll do what I want, well men are naturally going to choose porn over having to put up with that kind of atttiude from a girl just to get into her pants.

 

[thomas00]

The porn blame is as silly as the junk science used to justify it.

Many men aren't out looking for 'meaningful' relationships as much anymore because there is none to be had. Look at the data from dating sites. We're seeing hypergamy out of control with women's expectations becoming so extravagant that most men just don't make the cut. There are endless articles and interviews from female dating coaches saying they won't deal with women anymore. And they'd know.

Decades of articles in girl mags, the popular press and best selling books encouraging women to never settle for anything but the best, that they deserve this than and the other has produced a generation of egomaniacs all chasing the top percentile of men.

Social media and online dating gives even the most unappealing females 24/7 access to endless amounts of instant gratification from legions of men yet most guys have to work like crazy just to get a message back and find out quickly they are the ones who are going to have to work hard to keep her attention or she'll just turn to one of the other 300 guys snapping at her heels.

Add to that all the darker parts of the #metoo business and the issue of a near universal 50% divorce rate, the consequences of which, if you are on the receiving end, could involve losing a tonne of money-possibly for the rest of your life- and an enormous emotional burden and a lot of men just decide not to bother. I think the stats say the a majority of men who use internet dating give up after a few months.


Porn fills a void for those not having sex

 

[LUH 3417]

I’m not sure where you people live but most of my cousins and friends who are my age (25-29) are in committed relationships, engaged, or getting married. Some have been with the same partner since they were teenagers and are now moving into the next step of their relationship. Perhaps maturity is more difficult to achieve now. I know people in my parents generation who dropped out of high school and started working a trade job and saved up money to buy a house by 25. I can imagine those people would be ready for marriage way younger than people graduating med or law at 30 with debt. Ray seems to talk about extending childhood or youth. I don’t think people growing up slow is a sign of the end times. Biological neotany would obviously change a culture. You only see childhood in cultures where there is wealth. In poverty and lack of resources children are forced to grow up quickly and take on adult responsibilities. I guess you can see this with the children of wealthy people in colleges today compared with other societies. College is an extended adolescence.

 

[tankasnowgod]

Still, the stats presented say that 72% of men and 82% of women are having sex in that age group. If I walked into a college class and you told me 7 of the 10 men are having sex with 8 of the 10 women in there, I'd think nothing of it.

Maybe you touched on something..... rates of young people having sex hasn't changed all that much, but some younger men are just being more honest when they aren't having any. It is a self-reported survey, after all

 

[ecstatichamster]

I think a lot has changed.

Visit Japan and you’ll see where the West is headed.

People use weird fetishes and porn and sex toys instead of seeking real relationships.

It happens at the margins. Just 1 out of 10 young men isn’t interested in sex and that’s new. I’m making up that number. But it’s very serious and long term.

People who are pornified often get into weird extreme porn and they become depressed (it goes with the territory) and begin believing they are gay/bi/whatever...

This is what is going on today at the margins.

 

[jet9]

Today, girls want a boy with nice hair, alot of money, good car and to be a submissive to her.

How did you figure it out? Women do not want a submissive man to her, don't listen what they say, watch what they do.

 

[jet9]

Women have done a lot in the last 20 years to make themselves unattractive as people. A lot more women are overweight and unattractive than when I was growing up. Add in piercings, tattoos and the attitude of **** you I’ll do what I want, well men are naturally going to choose porn over having to put up with that kind of atttiude from a girl just to get into her pants.

So women to blame? And men are perfect? :)
(i am male, it just sounds funny when you blame one side. On both sides they are people who take care of them selves and who do not)

 

[Frankdee20]

No tattoos or weird piercings here. I have a very healthy sex drive about 7 months a year when the days are longer.

I just posted in the FB about a vegan who identified as asexual get a sex drive after eating animal protein. I wouldn't blame porn. I blame unhealthy lifestyles.

Porn does not help though. Especially if young kids are wanking off ten times a day. They have no idea how bad masturbation is for your brain.

 

[thomas00]

I feel like I'm in a Christian encounter group



Anyways, pulling the goose 10 times a day is a sign of stress. Porn doesn't 'cause' this. Or any other pathology.

 

[haidut]

porn use is a symptom of poor health rather than a cause

This. As I mentioned in my post, I personally view the findings of this study as yet another sign of declining health. Sick people lose interest in sex, and even if they have a little interest they usually cannot perform or experience satisfaction from sexual interaction.
As Peat said, physiology come first and cultural/social habits second even though there could feedback cycles too.

 

[brainfog]

Only 12 percent of American adults are metabolically healthy, study finds: Trends help sound alarm for efforts to lower associated risk of types 2 diabetes, heart disease and other complications



I strongly belive if your hormones works as they should you have a drive to do things. Including bonding etc.

 

[haidut]

Only 12 percent of American adults are metabolically healthy, study finds: Trends help sound alarm for efforts to lower associated risk of types 2 diabetes, heart disease and other complications



I strongly belive if your hormones works as they should you have a drive to do things. Including bonding etc.

This right there explains every single post I have made on the declining health of all people and especially the young. Given that what they defined as metabolically healthy in the study is woefully inadequate, the title of the study should have been "pretty much ALL american adults are metabolically sick".

 

[Nebula]

This. As I mentioned in my post, I personally view the findings of this study as yet another sign of declining health. Sick people lose interest in sex, and even if they have a little interest they usually cannot perform or experience satisfaction from sexual interaction.
As Peat said, physiology come first and cultural/social habits second even though there could feedback cycles too.

I agree its likely a feedback loop of multiple factors amplifying each other’s effects, but the newest factor causing the most change is access to high speed internet in childhood and teenage years through a private computer or smartphone that started to be widespread around 2006 when there is correlation with a sharp decrease in young males having sex. This has allowed a young male to watch many times more endless variety of pornography than was ever previously possible. Abrupt technological changes are usually followed quickly by a period where cultural wisdom on how to manage the new technology to maintain wellness lags behind. This seems to be one of those events.

A healthy teenage male has a high libido. Starts a habit of masturbatung several times per day to a practically infinite choice of porn videos because it’s an easy form of excitement in a comparatively more mundane social environment. It’s fun and harmless at first, but eventually prolactin or some other desensitizing effects decrease the teenager’s dopamine sensitivity and levels making him start to feel like crap. Unless he already had habits keeping him active socially and physically he may increase time in his porn hobby creating a spiraling feedback loop of poor lifestyle choices furthering his health decline. Eventually erectile dysfunction begins and there is not enough libido to even have sex if he wanted to and the feedback loop continues.

This possible feedback loop is probably something that most severely affects the portion of young men with more vulnerable social and health conditions, but the main factor in this phenomenon is likely the introduction of high speed internet that can be accessed at anytime privately.

What I would propose to help young men manage the availability of constant stimulation from the internet is to focus much more on belonging to positive fraternal brotherhoods and social groups in general from a young age throughout the lifespan OFFLINE. The stimulation that many are seeking through excessive porn, masturbation, video games, web surfing(posting/reading forums) is in many cases trying to fill the void of a lack of meaningful social bonds and experiences. Contribute to real life social networks that interest you and the opportunity for meaningful relationships and sexual experiences will follow. It may also help you address whatever health and hormonal factors that are affecting you as a young man as well.

Another major consequence of the social media internet age which also started around 2006 that may account for a lot of young men not having sex is that online dating is not turning out to be a great strategy for most men to meet women. It is much harder for a woman to assess a man's status in a social network which is a major factor in most women's attraction to men. Most men's best bet is still the old school way with no internet involved. Contribute and become respected in several large social networks of people, especially with other men who know you well and value you. These connections are more likely to lead to meeting a woman that will be more compatible and attracted to you based more on your social bonds than the women you may meet with online dating.

 

[LuMonty]

This right there explains every single post I have made on the declining health of all people and especially the young. Given that what they defined as metabolically healthy in the study is woefully inadequate, the title of the study should have been "pretty much ALL american adults are metabolically sick".

It's a great thing that you do, Haidut. You're a cornerstone of this forum, and speaking personally, your dedication and material posted is what got me hooked on Peat's works and methods. I'm just a new guy here but wanted to thank you for that.
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More to the topic, I can confirm that I fall into this study. I'm married, but I'm generally too weak to do much, let alone sex. For context, it took me about 10 seconds after standing to be stable enough to get to the next room. I'm in my 20's and have had grey hair at different points in life since I was 18, even as recently as 2 weeks ago. In my case, I know it revolves around thyroid. While I'm not 100% sure I know what sets it off, I know my flirtations with sex, use of porn, etc years past wasn't due to enjoyment, it was probably because the NO generation stopped my thunderous metabolism and let me sleep. Very rarely was any of it enjoyable. Perhaps more mysterious is why my wife married me while knowing this haha.

As far as the "use of porn vs having sex" deal, my view is it's a coping mechanism like overpowering amounts of caffeine without proper metabolism. I used to handle 1000mg+ of caffeine a day, can't anymore, maybe 150mg average. That said, if someone has a personal reason not to use porn or casual sex, living by that is just as important in recovery as anything else. I've found that the push and pull about what's right about sex and sexuality as far as social pressures go is just as draining as using it as a coping mechanism. That's my theory of why NoFap works for some guys but not for others; more of a philosophy-in-action matter than strictly mechanical. That said, normalizing and then improving metabolism makes it all easier to deal with, so that's still the best starting point, in my opinion.

 

[Cirion]

Online dating and social media has caused women to have ultra high expectations for men, because all they have to do is make a tinder account and get 100 likes overnight (or 1,000-10,000 if they're 9-10/10 attractive). Either way, there is no shortage of selection. This is a massive problem for most men who get screened out right off the bat, making many just give up. The last woman I went on a date with admitted "she could get any man she wanted" and she was at best a 6/10 on attractiveness scale and her personality in general left a lot to be desired.

Though, the bigger problem, even though that is a huge problem, is men with damaged metabolisms. The former problem can be overcome with sufficient metabolism and drive/libido, which most men no longer have. Women who are like the one I went on a date with should be screened out and are not relationship material anyway.

 

[opson123]

I'll soon be a wizard.

 

[ecstatichamster]

the newest factor causing the most change is access to high speed internet in childhood and teenage years through a private computer or smartphone that started to be widespread around 2006 when there is correlation with a sharp decrease in young males having sex. This has allowed a young male to watch many times more endless variety of pornography than was ever previously possible. Abrupt technological changes are usually followed quickly by a period where cultural wisdom on how to manage the new technology to maintain wellness lags behind. This seems to be one of those events.

Precisely.

 

[InChristAlone]

Why is it mainly men going through this porn addiction? I had access to it as a teenager and while I did look from time to time, I still had an active social life, boyfriends and was sexually active.