Pupils dilated around people

[Ben]

A person who had an anxiety disorder told me that my pupils are always really dilated. And it turns out she's right. Mine were bigger than her's. When I got my haircut, I asked and the barber asked if I was high.

People think I'm high even based on how I act. I zone things out apparently that they say, but hear them. I think I look for the right things to respond to and disregard other things.

My pupils seem bigger specifically around people. The people who have most mentioned them were girls I was "interested in", and guys who were apparently daring enough to confront me about them.

My pupils get smaller from prolactin inhibitors and I don't get morning wood anymore, high prolactin? Though lisuride made me get nauseous and even sick so I didn't want it anymore.

I do care about what kind of impression I make around people. Maybe that's causing hyperemotionality. But my pupils were dilated even when joking around, though I was probably still trying to make a good impression.

What's the issue? Is it neurological or physiological?

 

[tara]

My pupils seem bigger specifically around people. The people who have most mentioned them were girls I was "interested in", and guys who were apparently daring enough to confront me about them.

I think this may be normal behaviour.

 

[Attakai]

Perhaps you have social anxiety? Pupils dilating is a fear response. When you are in a state of fear, due to social anxiety for example, your body releases adrenaline as a response. This causes a series of reactions, for example: increasing blood and oxygen flow to muscles, so we can escape danger; dilating pupils, so we can better take in our environment.

This could also explain why they tend to be more dilated when it is with people(especially girls you are interested and want to make a good impression on).
If it is social anxiety you will probably want to reflect on what the root of the fear is. Is it fear of rejection? Reflect and overcome, fear is all in your mind.

 

[Ben]

I do have social anxiety. But so does my friend. I dunno. It seems I get stressed out doing the simplest things, like brushing my teeth. When I do something, I wanna do it right, it seems like. I'm so ****88 up. Why is everything all or nothing for me? I can't maintain anything, job, school, relationships, hobbies, hygeine, not even belief systems and self image. There is no moderation for me, I can't focus on multiple things at once. It's too complicated for me to balance things.

Today I did my hygeine stuff. And by the time I left, I was so stressed out I knew things wouldn't go well. Talk to people? I'm a fuckup! It's readily apparent that I'm a ******* stress-prone b****! I can't even talk to people like they are slightly important. It's, they are a target or they aren't. And even so, I am empty as ****. I don't care about anything except what my target is. I can't even be honest because I'm an empty shell. There's a fake identity or no identity at all. There's nothing in my life because I throw it all away. I can't maintain anything! I can't focus on more than one thing at once, why can't I? I'm so ******* tired of living in what I know is insanity! But I can't do anything about it!

 

[Attakai]

Sounds like speaking to a psychologist might help. Though it may be an expensive and daunting task, which may not be plausible for you at the moment. What there is as an alternative, which is usually totally free, is a ton of self-improvement resources all across the internet. Just do a search for "overcoming fear", or whatever you feel is holding you back.
The biggest improvements you are going to see is when you put effort into helping yourself.

 

[kineticz]

Delete the link in your thread and stop living via false pretense.

Dilated pupils is adrenaline fight or flight.

Learned helplessness.
Atrophied adrenal glands.
High pre-frontal serotonin.
Social isolation.

You are not an 'alternative hippy' you have via a series of experiences drawn the wrong conclusions about life and people.

The world looks insane to anyone who is removed from it. Doesn't make the world insane. It's just some such as yourself have avoidant coping mechanisms.

The real skill in being a 'hippy' is actively having social status while discretely showing people that there is a 'better' way to live.

How stable was your childhood?

 

[barefooter]

Delete the link in your thread and stop living via false pretense.
You are not an 'alternative hippy' you have via a series of experiences drawn the wrong conclusions about life and people.

The world looks insane to anyone who is removed from it. Doesn't make the world insane. It's just some such as yourself have avoidant coping mechanisms.

The real skill in being a 'hippy' is actively having social status while discretely showing people that there is a 'better' way to live.
How stable was your childhood?

I didn't even start this thread, but I feel like you could have written this advice for me. Well said! Thank you, best advice I've read in a while.

 

[Stuart]

Delete the link in your thread and stop living via false pretense.

Dilated pupils is adrenaline fight or flight.

Learned helplessness.
Atrophied adrenal glands.
High pre-frontal serotonin.
Social isolation.

You are not an 'alternative hippy' you have via a series of experiences drawn the wrong conclusions about life and people.

The world looks insane to anyone who is removed from it. Doesn't make the world insane. It's just some such as yourself have avoidant coping mechanisms.

The real skill in being a 'hippy' is actively having social status while discretely showing people that there is a 'better' way to live.

How stable was your childhood?

Wonderful. Thanks Kineticz.

@Ben
Perhaps just seeking out things that make you laugh would help. I met a Korean girl once whose Dad was a laugh therapist in Seoul. The beneficial hormonal effect of just laughing (even more effective if you are actually emotionally genuinely amused by something ) is very powerful.
As well as reducing cortisol and epinephrine , laughter boosts brain levels of hormones such as serotonin (one of the healthy effects of serotonin) . Also , how often to you get exposure to full sunlight?
There must be something you find amusing isn't there?

 

[Blinkyrocket]

I always lose what little energy I have when I laugh, once that happens I laugh inside my head instead of physically.

Even a genuine laugh leaves me with less energy than before, a time with funny friends leaves me out of breath and exhausted.

Edit: not "gasping for air" out of breath, just a general feeling like I wanna yawn or take a deep breath.

 

[Stuart]

I always lose what little energy I have when I laugh, once that happens I laugh inside my head instead of physically.

Even a genuine laugh leaves me with less energy than before, a time with funny friends leaves me out of breath and exhausted.

Edit: not "gasping for air" out of breath, just a general feeling like I wanna yawn or take a deep breath.

Maybe laughing is unhealthy then? Perhaps the serotonin it generates?

 

[Blinkyrocket]

I always lose what little energy I have when I laugh, once that happens I laugh inside my head instead of physically.

Even a genuine laugh leaves me with less energy than before, a time with funny friends leaves me out of breath and exhausted.

Edit: not "gasping for air" out of breath, just a general feeling like I wanna yawn or take a deep breath.

Maybe laughing is unhealthy then? Perhaps the serotonin it generates?

Eh, I just like saying things that contradict other things. But yeah, for me laughing sucks, which is probably why instead of the usual look of happiness on ones face, my face contorts to one that is in pain. Laughing sucks.

 

[Suikerbuik]

I always lose what little energy I have when I laugh, once that happens I laugh inside my head instead of physically.

Even a genuine laugh leaves me with less energy than before, a time with funny friends leaves me out of breath and exhausted.

Edit: not "gasping for air" out of breath, just a general feeling like I wanna yawn or take a deep breath.

Maybe laughing is unhealthy then? Perhaps the serotonin it generates?

Rather a sign of being in stress most of the time. The laughing will reduce stress hormones. And laughing also happen to lower CO2, especially noticeable in those who are metabolically limited.
I think this actually happens in most people, it's just that most people aren't that self-aware or less affected by it (better metabolic health). They just yawn, take a deep breath, eat or drink something and go on despite maybe feeling a bit more tired than before..

 

[Blinkyrocket]

I always lose what little energy I have when I laugh, once that happens I laugh inside my head instead of physically.

Even a genuine laugh leaves me with less energy than before, a time with funny friends leaves me out of breath and exhausted.

Edit: not "gasping for air" out of breath, just a general feeling like I wanna yawn or take a deep breath.

Maybe laughing is unhealthy then? Perhaps the serotonin it generates?

Rather a sign of being in stress most of the time. The laughing will reduce stress hormones. And laughing also happen to lower CO2, especially noticeable in those who are metabolically limited.
I think this actually happens in most people, it's just that most people aren't that self-aware or less affected by it (better metabolic health). They just yawn, take a deep breath, eat or drink something and go on despite maybe feeling a bit more tired than before..

yeah, sometimes I wonder whether the higher self awareness I have because of paying attention to well... Myself, will end up being a net positive at some point cuz so far it just generates neuroticism -_-

 

[Ben]

Delete the link in your thread and stop living via false pretense.

Dilated pupils is adrenaline fight or flight.

Learned helplessness.
Atrophied adrenal glands.
High pre-frontal serotonin.
Social isolation.

You are not an 'alternative hippy' you have via a series of experiences drawn the wrong conclusions about life and people.

The world looks insane to anyone who is removed from it. Doesn't make the world insane. It's just some such as yourself have avoidant coping mechanisms.

The real skill in being a 'hippy' is actively having social status while discretely showing people that there is a 'better' way to live.

How stable was your childhood?

I have felt brief moments of what felt like love. But I don't know how it happened. My first encounter with this feeling was with ritalin, high doses of it that cause awful crash. Acceptance of everyone and all. Tear-inducing acceptance.

Then when I had my Kundalini Awakening, I had an encounter with it while completely sober. It happened like some switch flipped and I felt a constant stream of love/emotional acceptance. After that, I felt lethargic and stuff. That went on for at least months. It's called "purgatory" and always happens after awakening. It's probably still occuring.

So I looked for like-minded people after my awakening. I went to Denver, but dunno, a lot happened here. A couple of times back in fall of 2014, I felt the tear-inducing love, again randomly.

Just a week or two ago, it happened again. I tried bodily awareness, which originally induced my awakening. I don't know how it happened, but I felt loving acceptance flow in for some reason. Once again, occurred randomly.

I just don't know. It's a great feeling, but it happens completely randomly.

Just today I thought I should practice being loving, like in bed with a girl. It does feel good.

But I still had the motivational issue. I couldn't get myself to approach girls and ask them if they wanted to make love. I focused on inhibiting tension because it seemed I was even calmer without music.

And what was strange was that I had zero tension. All my overt anxiety seemed induced by thoughts while other anxiety was background and I could stay completely calm in its presence. Hm. How do I even get rid of that background stuff? It doesn't seem to hit home, it just kind of lingers and causes adrenalin rush. This is probably what causes pupil dilation. But how do I confront these emotions if they don't confront me? It's like they are purely bodily sensations.

 

[kineticz]

You are full of crap mate


The overwhelming love isn't some religion, it's an influx of catecholamines/arousal and pregnenolone

I have felt as you say and guess what, it was when I added pregnenolone and my metabolism was improved

I spent two weeks completely at peace and then it bottomed out, because a constant influx of pregnenolone during hypothyroidism cannot be sustained.

It did change me permanently but I was changed FOR THE BETTER as it made me more accepting of myself but more importantly I continued to integrate not expecting people to understand me but rather in search of that joy again.

The road you have taken is completely introverted and will not lead to the joy you seek.

Anything in between is learned helplessness. You have boxxed yourself in and created a false religious identity that nobody will accept because it is nonsense.


Overwhelming peace and love can be explained by neurotransmitter influx either with very high or very low metabolism in somebody who was previously hypothyroid most of their life.



Delusions.

 

[Ben]

I have nothing to do with religion. You didn't even read what I wrote. Quite frankly, screw you. I figured it out myself. A person who has an overwhelming amount of emotion to the point of pupil dilation should confront their emotions first. Duh. And here's another saying "peat is the answer". Why did I ever ask anyone? I guess I was bored.

 

[kineticz]

http://www.taoism.net/theway/ego.htm

 

[Blinkyrocket]

http://www.taoism.net/theway/ego.htm

I'm not quite sure what is classified as ego anymore but isn't it there because we're social animals? If we weren't social with hierarchies and ranks we wouldn't have one... Maybe, I'm not sure what the ego is exactly.
Some researcher found that the only creatures on the planet to suffer stress outside of being chased by something that wants to kill you is primates, dolphins and humans

 

[kineticz]

Ben is a dangerous example of ego.

He holds with pride his enlightenment and then continues to belittle the world, and remain external.

Enlightenment is compassion.

"Victory and success can be infinitely more dangerous than defeat, for they tend to intoxicate and inflate the ego. How you deal with success is therefore also crucial to your spiritual development. Success should not lead to arrogance, but to humility. Not the false kind of demonstrative humility underlining superiority. Real humility, where you realize that you are as transient and empty as your less successful peers."

 

[charlie]

https://raypeatforum.com/forums/posts/94237/ Enlightenment is compassion.

"Victory and success can be infinitely more dangerous than defeat, for they tend to intoxicate and inflate the ego. How you deal with success is therefore also crucial to your spiritual development. Success should not lead to arrogance, but to humility. Not the false kind of demonstrative humility underlining superiority. Real humility, where you realize that you are as transient and empty as your less successful peers."

I always wondered why the "enlightened" around here treat people horribly, belittling someone any chance they get. Now I understand.