I can relate to the intense anxiety before labor and birth. It was worse for me with each subsequent birth. I think it was because fear of the unknown, how is birth going to go, all the things that might happen during birth that can go wrong, how things will change after, how hard postpartum is, and in my case I had nobody to talk to about it. My spouse certainly didn’t understand and didn’t have much to say except you can do it. I never had appetite in my last couple months in all my pregnancies, even had nausea, everything was so uncomfortable, lots of pain even in turning in bed, going upstairs, I had trouble drinking water too it didn’t taste good, etc, and still a household to run....I am familiar with Ina May Gaskin. I guess my fears with labor have most to do with I can’t get through most days without breaking down and crying, sometimes frantically walking from room to room while having the intense fear of impending doom while crying, feeling like I can’t breath. Needing to sit down after I walk from one room to the other, tiring during folding laundry, etc. I know labor is more intense than any regular day to day things, even good labors I’ve had have required mental fortitude and stamina that I don’t feel like I possess a bit of currently. Most of my births have been short and relatively easy compared to what many women experience. But my last one was difficult and I was exhausted and so worn down by it. I was at my heaviest weight at the time, but weigh about twenty pounds more now and I know another issue is connecting being overweight with hard births in my mind since that’s what happened to me last time.
I haven’t fully decided to get a medicated birth and my midwives are encouraging me that I can get through birth. I feel like if I could just be a little bit better, especially mentally, things would be a lot different.
The broths are a good idea. I hadn’t thought of that.
I don’t have advice except take it moment by moment...lots of deep breathing...visualization how you’d like birth to go... mentally emotionally spiritually letting go and surrendering....