Peaty way of dealing with anger, frustration and depression towards life circumstances

[EmperorOfMan]

I know Ray has taught that learned helplessness, serotonin and certain stressors are bad for us.

I've been dealing with difficult life circumstances for the last two decades and a recent shock has sent me into a depressed state.

I've tried prayer consistently for the last two years, to try each day to get in touch with what I should do. However in that two years I have been unable to move the dial one notch in terms of improving my health, personal relationships and work satisfaction. So I don't feel there is any major area where I am doing well and at least take comfort from that.

I often feel angry, and rather than suppress it I am wondering whether I should find a positive outlet for it if I can.

Maybe journalling and writing things down might help?

If you have been through difficult circumstances which have gone on for a long time, what methods have you used to deal with that, that has helped?

Action creates your reality. Ignore what anyone else on this forum says. The only way you can save yourself is through your inner speech and the sets of actions you take to make yourself feel better. "When a man is right, his world will be right"

 

[Cloudhands]

the opposite of learned helplessness is having hope. The point of the physiological advice that ray gives is so that you have energy to plan your escape. It is also to inspire you to figure things out and look at things from every angle. The fact that youre coming on here and asking for advice means you ARENT completely helpless, and when you keep putting energy into a hopeful system you create an upward spiral. You are already turning the tides, keep pushing, the more difficult it becomes the closer you are to your goal.

 

[HeyThere]

the opposite of learned helplessness is having hope. The point of the physiological advice that ray gives is so that you have energy to plan your escape. It is also to inspire you to figure things out and look at things from every angle. The fact that youre coming on here and asking for advice means you ARENT completely helpless, and when you keep putting energy into a hopeful system you create an upward spiral. You are already turning the tides, keep pushing, the more difficult it becomes the closer you are to your goal.

"the more difficult it becomes the closer you are to your goal."

Is that like when rich people say "Money can't make you happy" and "If I got filthy rich, so can you!".
Asking for a friend...

 

[Cloudhands]

"the more difficult it becomes the closer you are to your goal."

Is that like when rich people say "Money can't make you happy" and "If I got filthy rich, so can you!".
Asking for a friend...

i see what youre saying but i mean it in a different semantic context, basically when trying to escape a stressful situation, the longer i persist the more time under stress will have been accumulated, but if i keep on going i more then likely will have been moving closer toward finding a way out. Sometimes there isnt a way out, and an individual will be stressed out until they die, but i personally think that theres no harm in trying my best and having hope, its a motivating point of view.

 

[Elie]

Thank you! I do believe that is true. But I don't know what I did wrong, she only realized what she lost when I left.

That being said, it was not easy. Even on a Ray Peat diet, today I am burned out. Even after having left her for over 1 year, I still have not recovered.

I used to be a go getter. I would work out and work hard at work. Now I strive to be an average performer.

She taught me that hard work gets you nowhere. I lost several promotions at work and 2 years of my life.

I used to be good looking, even in my photos I take I see I look tired and aged. I hope my looks come back. I need to find another woman (which isn't easy in this day and age as I'm an "anti-vaxxer" and being vegetarian makes it even harder).

I had a hard marriage.
In my case, I know I haven't been super kind to her, because of unmet expectations / disappointments.
She was very harsh in her response.
Through therapy and workshops a dominant subconscious thought that emerged, was that I wasn't good enough. I was seeking her approval ad she was seeking mine.
The emergence of the awareness of the (false) subconscious beliefs "I am not good enough" and "I need others' approval to know that I am safe and loved" was a silver lining that emerged from that difficult period that wouldn't have without that type of "friction" or "stress".
Other things that emerged were things that it was okay and I didn't need to feel guilty (again, it was subconscious) about having certain expectations and desires, as long as I try to understand what motives these desires try to serve and I evaluate the validity of the motives.

I am just sharing this to provide an example of the sort of things that can come up when we seek to understand our lessons in life about ourselves. For you it may be something else. therapy that involves "shadow work" can be great for that.

I believe that the physical burnout can be healed overtime.

If you are not as ambitious anymore, perhaps that is ok too. Look into what were you seeking so hard when you were more ambitious. Maybe it meant to satisfy some false belief you had about yourself (or maybe not - everyone is different).

The silver linings, the lessons that emerge from difficult situations lie in exploring out beliefs, not how we can attract someone different next. We can't control others no matter what, we can only "control" ourselves.

Hope this helps.