Nova: The Very Far Off Broadway Not-Musical

[Nova]

"Life is not what you see, but what you've projected. It's not what you've felt, but what you've decided. It's not what you've experienced, but how you've remembered it. It's not what you've forged, but what you've allowed. And it's not who's appeared, but who you've summoned. And this should serve you well, beloved, until you find, what you already have." - Notes From The Universe

The quote above parallels nicely with some of the discussion in the "Positivity Is Making Us Ill" thread, IMO.

Realism is what I see, the obvious and the ugly. That's not life. Life is what I project. Life is vision, I suppose. Decisions shape vision and also bring about a new reality. The oldest "trick" in the book is focus on what you feel, as if emotion is any decent guide to living. A million times, you feel one way, run with it, find yourself in a jam, and suddenly, the all-important feeling is gone. What then? It's time to make a decision.

Experiences are only memories and it is entirely possible that what we remember isn't accurate. Memories are easily corrupted by emotion. Allowance vs. forging, well, I'm not so sure there. Some things we have to allow, submission is but a fact of existence for most creatures. We don't control the show any more than the next air-sucking meatsack does. Do you go with the flow...or do you swim against the tide?

Appearing vs. summoning...that seems a lot like magical thinking to me. Then again, maybe we do attract certain energies, certain people, certain opportunities, if only we focus our intentions and align them with our visions.

I'm searching for myself. When will I find me?

********************

I had a sobering thought the other day. One of those split-me-open type thoughts that would have sent me into a depression spiral a short time ago.

Thanksgiving, I saw a cousin whom I haven't seen in years. This particular cousin and I were close when we were younger. We had a serious falling out in 2009 and haven't spoken since then. I knew that she had gotten heavily into drugs during the last 6-7 years. She lost herself in the needle. She also lost custody of her son, lost her nursing license, and just got out of a psych ward.

I saw her...and somehow, my heart broke. Out of all of the people in my family, I thought that she would be one of the few to make it out of the darkness, at some point.

I'm the only one of my generation, out of my sisters and cousins...to not become a hardcore drug addict or alcoholic. I'm the only one who hasn't done time in jail, prison or psychiatric facilities. I'm the only one who has ever tried to do anything with my life (not that I've done much, but I'm trying to change that.)

It's sad in a way that I cannot explain. It's not that my heart hurts for them and their children. My heart does hurt...but it's deeper than that. To be set apart, is a deeper form of pronounced loneliness than most others.

I've always known that I was different. How different, I could not measure and no words could define. I just knew it. I wondered why I never got into the drug/party lifestyle. Why did I avoid and escape, when they did not? I live my life knowing that I will never have relationships with any of them. The people I grew up with, shared my youth with...they are the walking dead to me. Nothing there except the brokenness laid bare for the world to see.

They let the pain turn to suffering and now they are rotting, waiting to die. Morose, I know, but true. I hope that they can escape, but in my heart, I know that most of them will be dragged under and will drown in a pool of their own sorrows.

*********************

Part of my vision is building a life apart from my family. Making my own family-of-sorts. My family did this for as long as I can remember. We always had "aunts" and "uncles" and "cousins" staying with us. My parents would let our friends stay for as long as they needed, no questions asked. It was nothing to share a room, or even a bed, with someone. I was quite used to it. Honestly, I find it strange to sleep alone. Depressing, almost. Which is probably why I let my giant mutt sleep in bed with me.

Some part of me wants to rescue the younger ones. I want them to know that our family isn't completely screwed up. That we all have the ability to choose a different path in life. I don't want them to fall into the traps of emotion and following bad examples that lead them into chaotic addictions and complex dances with the justice system. That's all that they see now. Six year olds shouldn't know lyrics like this:

"Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out
Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out

We used to play pretend, give each other different names
We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away
Used to dream of outer space but now they're laughing at our face
Saying, "Wake up, you need to make money"
Yeah"

My six year old nephew does. The song came on the radio when we were driving and he was like "TURN IT UP!!!" He sang the whole thing and there was a lot of conviction in his tiny voice. I almost started crying. I know that he and his brothers have a hard life. My sister has battled with various drug addictions for 15-16 years at this point. Her sons have paid for that in different ways.

The six year old is the only one who is "normal". His brothers have disabilities. My sister is much harder on the six year old because he's not, expects him to help with his brothers all of the time. I know that this makes him very sad and probably stresses him out. That's why I tried so hard to make the time that he and his brothers spent with me over the summer, fun. It was supposed to be a vacation for them, I thought. And I wanted so badly to take them all of those cool, fun places, do all sorts of stuff with them. Stuff that they'll never get to do because my sister isn't capable of providing opportunities for them.

*******************

So I suppose all of the above, is what drives me. My journey isn't all about me, it's about something beyond me.

As always, vibe on.

 

[Nova]

Meditative Reflections:

I'm preserving myself for future generations.

After sharing the anecdotes about my family, I had to take a deep breath. I keep saying "no more personal dirt." I think it's off-putting to some and I'm not sure how I really feel about sharing such things on a public forum. Yet I keep posting such content.

This journey really isn't mine. Some parts of it are about me, but I don't own it. My healing isn't just a gift to myself; it's a gift that I'd like to share, if that makes sense. My gift is that of hope. When you live at the bottom, you spend a lot of time staring up towards the top. Making the climb is something that many attempt, but few accomplish. The people at the top rarely look down. It is as if glancing back during your ascent is a fatal sin.

Those that we leave at the bottom sometimes deserve to be left there. I have no qualms about leaving my sisters, cousins or the few friends that I have IRL. They had their time in the sun, they have had chances, they still have choices to make. I hope that they make better ones, start following a path towards health and life. If not for themselves, for the sake of their children. However, I will glance back from time to time, to check on the next generation. The love I have for them may fade with time, but it will never die, I don't believe.

What happens to my family, our history, our identity...rests with me, I think. Every tribe needs elders and once my parents are gone, that's it. My sisters don't keep the stories alive. When they are gone, my nieces and nephews will lose even those tenuous links to their pasts.

Maybe it's not that important, in the grand scheme of things. To me, such things are of value. I need to know what kind of person I am, what kind of people I came from, what I'm made of. Stories are heritage and they may very well be the only things that we truly inherit.

Who will tell those that come after, if not me? I can't answer that. Maybe I won't live to tell the stories. Maybe no one will be around to listen. Who knows?

All that I am, all that I will become...is so that I may pass something on. My current aim is to be there for those that are to come after me. Living proof that nothing is set in stone, that as long as you have a heart that beats and a mind that reaches out...you can choose a different way of being.

*************************

Onward to actual Peat related things that may be of interest to some.

Weight Loss and Future Plans:
I've been eating 2-3 meals a day, plus some snacks. I'm down to 250lbs. Crazy. I'm only 14lbs away from hitting the 100lb mark. Losing 100lbs in 6-7 months seems crazy as hell, but I think it's going to happen. I'm getting closer to what I weighed when I graduated from college almost a decade ago. After that...well, I haven't been under 200lbs since I was 12-13. So that will be even crazier, lol.

I'm also working on a supplement regimen of sorts. My financial situation is improving. I've rebuilt some of my savings, and paid off a few small lingering debts in the meantime. I'm thinking that I will be able to start the next supplemented phase of my journey early next year. I'm excited about that, y'all!

Thinking that I may post my tentative supplement regimen plans in the near future for some feedback. Thinking of focusing on my blood sugar / insulin issues, which are a big concern to me at this time. I've had a few more of those scary super-low blood sugar episodes. Almost went the ER last week. My blood sugar levels were in the 50s, which is dangerous. I ended up falling asleep for like 5 hours and when I woke up, my blood sugar levels were normal.

This issue has also made Peating very difficult for me. I'd love to eat lots of fruit, guzzle honey and Pepsi and juices...but I can't. Everything has to be measured, slow intake. Same with my favorite food group, rice. I love it, but if I eat too much, I get that sleepy hazy feeling.

*************************

Weird Pubescent Physical Happenings:
I'm still dealing with testosterone-wonk. I haven't been raging much, thankfully. The acne though. Dear God, I hate it so much. I keep having flare ups on my thighs and chest. Every other day, some new nastiness is to be found.

The body hair is growing too. Ugh. I don't hate it, but let's just say I don't love it either. I've discovered patches of new growth in areas that were low or even no-growth before. I have given up on shaving my legs. It's winter. Plus my leg hair is so thick and wiry now that it clogs razors. Even my good razor hears the leg hair chorus..."You can't touch this....na na na na". I cut myself last week and that's when I officially gave up on shaving it.

The teenage boy smell is a thing too. I'm on a quest for a decent deodorant that doesn't irritate my pits. I've tried 3 different brands and none of them have worked thus far. I sweat through them or the stink isn't contained. It's gross, and I'm sure people notice. But regular deodorants cause acne and I have enough of that going on these days. Blaaaaaaaaah.

*************************
Gettin' my winter vibe on. It gonna snow today. Booooooooooooo. WTF, weather? Two weeks ago it was in the 70s and now this?

 

[Nova]

ETA:


Something fun for today. Finding my happy place.

I would watch the hell out of this if it were a real show. I love Golden Girls, I love Super Friends and Justice League. This would make a great addition to Adult Swim. Right now, the only reason I still watch AS is for Rick and Morty and Bob's Burgers re-runs. Sometimes Black Jesus, although I really only liked the first few episodes of that show.

Eh, I'm thinking TV is ultimately a waste of time. I can't just give up on it though. I've tried getting away from cable and I always find myself getting sucked back in. What to expect, when you're a member of the connected generation?

Netflix used to be awesome. Not so much these days. I think I have Netflix Overuse Syndrome. I watched it so much that I got to the point where the top picks were like tailored to my tastes. Didn't even need a queue. Now I only use it to watch re-runs of Silver Spoon / Gin no Saji and Futurama. In moments of weakness, Footloose. Because dance is life! :P

*************************

If anyone is still reading this mess, I'm alive.

Trying to work through some family issues, as evidenced in previous posts. Need to forgive my family, quit being so pissed off about certain things.

I'd like to issue an apology for my toxicity these last few weeks. When your core identity is under siege, it's hard to look outside of that and see that you're seething toxicity. I'm working through my identity issues, reached out to an old friend and got some perspective there. I've also decided to stop consuming certain forms of media for a time. Need to do a reset of sorts, relax and re-assess my journey.

***********************
Weight loss has stalled since I started eating again. Gained 4lbs last week. :-/

So much for Peatian metabolic healing. I suppose this further confirms my theory that my weight loss was due to caloric restriction and possible overexercise and low fat/no fat Peat diet probably had little, if anything, to do with it.

My blood sugar issues have gotten worse. I was only having deep drops in the evenings and at night. I've had two daytime episodes this last week. One morning, I ate some tamago gohan and drank some milk. 45 minutes later, I was sleepy. Took my blood sugar. It was at 68 despite my eating all of those damn carbs. Ended up on the couch for like 3 hours. Was supposed to take my mom to the doctor that morning. Ooooooops....

Yesterday, I didn't want to eat because I knew I had stuff to do. Didn't want a repeat of the last incident. I drank some coffee with milk and coconut oil before heading out. It got to be about 1pm and I was at the grocery store...I felt like I was dying. It took all of my energy just to check out. Threw the stuff in the back of the car and got in, sat there listening to music, shaking. Checked my blood sugar when I got home. 60.

Something is going on with me. I haven't had hypo episodes like this since I was drinking alcohol on a regular basis.

***********************

Peace and positive vibes to all.

 

[Nova]

I've been researching insulin resistance and hyperinsulinemia. Ended up turning into an essay that I thought may be worth sharing here. :) A lot of what I am sharing is culled from my notes and personal journal, so it isn’t some professional affair that I’ve edited half to death. Just a mixture of information, anecdote and opinion.

In some cases, Insulin Resistance will be abbreviated as "IR", Insulin Sensitive as “IS”, and Hyperinsulinemia as "HI". Direct quotes from outside articles are enclosed in quote boxes. Please be sure to check the original source links at the bottom for more information if any of what I’ve shared here is of interest to you.

***********************************************************************************************************************

Hyperinsulinemia [Hyperinsulinemia - Wikipedia] is the presence of excess insulin in the body and also refers to a state where the pancreas overproduces insulin. Diabetics can also induce hyperinsulinemic states by injecting too much insulin.

Insulin resistance is a specific and common form of hyperinsulinemia. Most often seen as part of a constellation of symptoms classified as "Metabolic Syndrome" and commonly paired with the sister conditions of obesity and Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. IR is also referred to as pre-diabetes, since the condition can and usually does progress into full-blown Type 2 diabetes.

Hyperinsulinemia is the opposite of Type 1 diabetes, which is hypoinsulinemia caused by underproduction of insulin in the pancreas. As IR progresses towards Type 2 diabetes, some will experience hypoinsulinemic episodes as their pancreas begins to crap out from years of kicking out excess insulin. Testing will usually reveal excessively high blood sugar due a lack of insulin and this is the diagnostic standard used in determining whether or not Type 2 diabetes has developed.

In some individuals with IR / HI, recurrent episodes of hypoglycemia are present. This is what happens in my case. I have trouble maintaining adequate blood sugar levels. Most of my episodes are what is considered as reactive hypoglycemia. [Reactive hypoglycemia - Wikipedia]. Consumption of carbohydrates and sugars can cause my blood sugar levels to drop below a certain threshold. For me personally, this threshold is in the mid-70s. My blood sugar usually runs on the lower end of normal (80-85) and I find it very difficult to maintain blood sugar levels above 90. Blood sugar levels below 70 can be deadly. I've had seizures and ER visits thanks to severe reactive hypoglycemic episodes brought on by excess alcohol consumption in the past.

This is not due to a lack of sugar or sugar wasting (glucose wasting) as defined in Peat's work, which I believe is something that only applies to true diabetics and not IR / HI folks such as myself. We are insulin wasters. Our bodies are over-producing insulin, which is not being used as it should by our bodies. (I think that there may also be a link to the liver and production and/or utilization of glucagon, but I haven't researched this. That’s for another possible essay, though...)

There are a few theories that attempt to explain why this happens. The one that I personally think is most logical is the receptor phosphorylation theory. I posted about this awhile back, buried in the midst of an epic post about PCOS. Below, I've included a passage that provides a decent and somewhat in-depth summary of said theory. Emphasis mine.

Continuous exposure to insulin causes a reduction in the number of receptors exposed on the cell surface by promoting internalization as well as degradation of hormone-occupied receptors (6). The insulin receptor is a tyrosine kinase that activates itself and then transmits its stimulatory message by promoting the phosphorylation of selected tyrosines on the receptor and on postreceptor partner molecules such as insulin receptor substrate family members IRS-1 and IRS-2 in the family of insulin receptor substrates. With continuous exposure to insulin, the receptor's kinase activity is diminished, probably because of combined effects of phosphorylation of serine residues on the receptor, dephosphorylation of tyrosines by the action of phosphatases, and the binding of inhibitory molecules (41–45).

Receptor-mediated tyrosine phosphorylation activates downstream proteins, especially the IRS proteins (mentioned earlier) to promote the downstream activation of the target cell. The IRS proteins also become phosphorylated on serine (and threonine) residues, probably by the action of multiple kinases. Serine phosphorylated forms of the IRS proteins have reduced ability to activate downstream elements and also act upstream to inhibit the activity of the insulin receptor.

Several other molecules downstream in the insulin pathway (e.g., m-TOR and phosphatidylinositol 3-kinase) transmit the activation process downstream and also provide upstream negative feedback signals. In addition, chronic exposure of the cell to insulin may result in a diminished concentration of downstream elements, including key components such as the IRS proteins (44,45). SOURCE: http://care.diabetesjournals.org/content/31/Supplement_2/S262

I think that this explains why IR / HI are progressive conditions that often result in the development of Type 2 diabetes. Over time, the damage accumulates and the cells become unresponsive to insulin. Without a proper insulin reception, little or no glucose enters the cells. The cells then starve to death and shut down. Excess glucose builds up in the blood and levels skyrocket. A diagnosis of diabetes is then issued.

Chronically high insulin levels are very dangerous. They also have profound effects on body composition, energy levels and pretty much all things metabolic. Now, I'm not one to grab random blog quotes, but I ran across a blog that said what I wanted to say without all of my trademark verbosity. Emphasis mine.

• Insulin is the hormone that regulates both the storage and the mobilization of fat, so if our system is creating an excessive environment of glucose (broken down from carbohydrates) and then insulin, we are likely to gain weight, and aggressively at that.
  
  
• The presence of insulin inhibits lipolysis, the release of stored triglycerides (body fat). Without lipolysis actually releasing stored body fat, it’s rather difficult to, well, burn that body fat for energy.
  
  
• Insulin is the PRIMARY regulator of fat storage
  
  
• Weight gain + hunger are promoted by anything that works to store fat in tissue and inhibit its mobilization for energy. And you guessed it, that would be anything that elevates insulin, because insulin both stores energy as fat and its presence means the fat cannot get out of the cell to be used for energy. Instead, of using fat for energy, insulin signals the cells to continue to use glucose for energy.
  
  
• Excess insulin causes hunger because your cells are not being fed efficiently, think internal cellular starvation. Which means you are hungrier, even when you just ate a huge bowl of Panda Puffs and are just shoveling all those puffs into fat storage, not to your cells.
  
  
• We gain weight because insulin is chronically elevated, not allowing for the balance of fat deposition and fat oxidation.
  
  
• Excess insulin is bad. Chronic excess insulin may be even worse than excess sugar. All animals produce insulin, but within any species, those that produce less insulin live longer than those who produce a lot. Eat to keep insulin low.
  
  
• [Source: How to Lose Fat: Insulin is Everything - Eat Clean. Piss Glitter.]

Now, the author of the article quoted above is a proponent of Gary Taubes’ work and a prolific low carber. However, I think that her points are pretty spot on. Why are IR / HI folks usually overweight, obese or skinny fat? Excess insulin creates an environment that predisposes us to storing energy as fat, usually in a very specific pattern concentrated in the abdominal region. Why do some of us eat and eat and never get full? Cellular starvation and broken signaling cause hunger and what do most of us eat? Carbs, carbs, carbs, which only compound our problems in many cases. Why is it so difficult for most of us to lose weight? Thanks to elevated insulin, we don’t burn fat as IS people do and suffer from imbalances of fat deposition and fat oxidation.

*****************

Another interesting theory that I’ve come across in regards to IR is that there are profound differences between IR and IS (Insulin Sensitive) people utilize and process carbohydrates. One study reported these findings:

We found that the pattern of stored energy distribution derived from two high-carbohydrate meals was markedly different in young, lean, insulin-resistant individuals compared with young, lean, insulin-sensitive individuals. In contrast to the young, lean, insulin-sensitive subjects, who stored most of their ingested energy in liver and muscle glycogen, the young lean insulin-resistant subjects had a marked defect in muscle glycogen synthesis and diverted much more of their ingested energy into hepatic de novo lipogenesis, resulting in increased plasma triglycerides, lower HDL, and increased hepatic triglyceride synthesis. Source: http://www.pnas.org/content/104/31/12587.full

What does this mean? It means that IR individuals use carbohydrates to make free fatty acids instead of storing the carbohydrate energy as glycogen as IS individuals do. This process results in elevated cholesterol levels and increased storage of energy as adipose tissue. Also, lots of stress on the liver, as it is responsible for the synthesis of cholesterol and is also responsible for processing the conversion of glucose to triglycerides aka free fatty acids.

These data also demonstrate that skeletal muscle insulin resistance predates hepatic insulin resistance and that hepatic triglyceride synthesis is increased in these insulin-resistant subjects after high-carbohydrate meals, which may predispose them to nonalcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD). The absence of hepatic steatosis in this group of insulin-resistant subjects is consistent with recent studies by our group demonstrating the relatively low prevalence of hepatic steatosis in young, lean, healthy subjects of different ethnic backgrounds with the important exception of Asian Indian males who have a marked increase in the prevalence of hepatic steatosis (13). Although it is believed that hepatic reesterification of fatty acids accounts for the majority of newly synthesized triglyceride, these results suggest that increased hepatic de novo lipogenesis precede the development of adipose tissue insulin resistance, which subsequently leads to increased flux of fatty acids to the liver (16, 17).

This hypothesis is supported by our previous findings of similar basal and insulin suppressed rates of whole body and subcutaneous fat lipolysis in similar groups of insulin-sensitive and insulin-resistant subjects (12). NAFLD is strongly linked to hepatic insulin resistance, and recent studies have demonstrated that NAFLD-induced hepatic insulin resistance is a major factor responsible for the transition from normoglycemia to fasting hyperglycemia and T2DM (18–23). The cellular signal driving this increased hepatic de novo lipogenesis can most likely be attributed to hyperinsulinemia promoting increased expression of the sterol regulatory element binding protein-1c in the liver, which coordinately regulates transcription of all of the key enzymes involved in lipogenesis (24).

In IR individuals, the skeletal muscle is insulin resistant. It is the presence of this tissue specific insulin resistance that is the ultimate first cause of IR / HI. High rates of carbohydrate consumption lead to weight gain in IR / HI individuals, which may lead to the development of a fatty liver in such individuals as increased levels of free fatty acids find their way to the liver.

Increased export of triglyceride from the liver to the peripheral and visceral adipose tissue in the form of VLDL may also predispose these insulin-resistant individuals to abdominal obesity (25). Although abdominal obesity has been postulated to play the major role in causing the atherogenic dyslipidemia and insulin resistance associated with the metabolic syndrome (5–7), we did not observe any significant differences in the mean volume of intra-abdominal fat between these two groups. These data suggest that abdominal obesity develops later in the course of the metabolic syndrome along with NAFLD and that it is likely more a consequence of insulin resistance in skeletal muscle rather than a primary cause of insulin resistance and atherogenic dyslipidemia (5–7). These results are consistent with recent observations in lipodystrophic patients and mice (20) as well as rodent models of hepatic insulin resistance (18) that have disassociated intra-abdominal adiposity from insulin resistance and instead have implicated hepatic steatosis in causing hepatic insulin resistance associated with the metabolic syndrome and T2DM (22, 23, 26).

More confirmation that the issue of IR is not one caused by poor pancreatic function or obesity. Both claims are made often enough that it is easy to assume that they are the causes of IR / HI. The cause of IR / HI is likely something much deeper associated with variances in insulin receptor function in skeletal muscle and/or the storage and processing of fat and cholesterol within the liver.

In summary, these data support the hypothesis that insulin resistance in skeletal muscle, due to decreased muscle glycogen synthesis, promotes atherogenic dyslipidemia by diverting energy derived from ingested carbohydrate away from muscle glycogen synthesis into increased hepatic de novo lipogenesis. These findings have important implications for understanding the mechanism by which insulin resistance in skeletal muscle promotes the development of the metabolic syndrome, NAFLD, T2DM, and the associated cardiovascular disease. These data also suggest that reversing defects in insulin-stimulated glucose transport in skeletal muscle to reverse insulin resistance in this organ might be the best way to prevent the development of the metabolic syndrome at its earliest stages of development.

So...IR / HI is likely due to the diversion of carbohydrate energy away from muscle glycogen synthesis and into lipid (fat) synthesis in the liver. Reversing this process is key to “curing” IR / HI. The focus, then, is on improving the insulin sensitivity of my muscle tissue if I am to have any level of continued success on this Peatventure of mine.

I’m also thinking that I probably need to be more aware of preventative measures against free fatty acid damage to my liver. And possibly focus more on healing said damage.

What about weight loss? Well, losing fat will cause an increase in free fatty acids in my body. I think that my previous 80lb weight loss was successful because I was relying on burning my fat stores for the bulk of my energy. I consumed very little fat during that time. I was practicing intermittent fasting 3-4 days/week during most of rapid weight loss experience too. Which I’m sure kicked my **** into high fat-buring gear. I also walked like 3-5 miles/day during that time. Exercise increases insulin sensitivity and it burns calories. Double whammy.

The takeaway for me is that I was probably coasting on my fat stores. Kinda like doing a high fat or ketogenic diet without having to eat all of that fat. Instead, I just “ate” myself. Of course, that’s not advisable in the long term. Although some people can probably do such a thing for a time and obtain their desired results, I wouldn’t recommend it for those who struggle with insulin sensitivity issues like myself.

It was really only when I started trying to eat regular meals that I began having recurrent reactive hypoglycemic episodes. Prior to that, I was just having nighttime drops. Which makes sense considering that most people fast while sleeping and up until recently, that was the case for me as well.

I’ve read about carbohydrate / protein balancing on the Peat diet. Everything, in harmony and balance. Achieving such harmony and balance takes time and likely varies from person to person to a point where it can be very difficult to determine where your individual balance is or where the ideal balance should be.

Carbohydrate intolerance is a lacking theory. I do believe that people like myself can consume carbs and sugars. But how much and in what ratios, I am uncertain. I’ve tried maintaining a 2:1 carb: protein ratio this last month. The results have been very underwhelming. Next month, I’m going to flip it and do a 2:1 protein:carb ratio. Or I may just go back to IF / exercise with an emphasis on Peat-ish protein consumption and some extra chemical helpers.

Either way, I think I’m through messing about with diet-only strategies. I want to lose the rest of this weight so that I can start living my life. I’m tired of feeling like ***t and watching things pass me by. I don’t care if I only have a few good years or even months. I’m willing to take risks that most people aren’t. What are more drugs on top of the ones I’ve already tried? What is more fasting, metric tracking, and such when possible life is waiting around the corner?

SOURCE LIST:
Hyperinsulinemia - Wikipedia
Reactive hypoglycemia - Wikipedia
Diabetes Care
How to Lose Fat: Insulin is Everything - Eat Clean. Piss Glitter.
The role of skeletal muscle insulin resistance in the pathogenesis of the metabolic syndrome

 

[amethyst]

A song with strong lyrics buried in a blur. Speaking to me in this moment...

"And you hear, what you want to hear
And they take what they want to take
Don't be sad, won't ever happen like this anymore
So when's it coming? This life's new great movement that I can join
It won't end here, your faith has got to be greater than your fear"

"Forgive them even if they are not sorry
All the vultures, bootleggers at the door waiting
You are looking for your own voice, but in others
While it hears you, trapped in another dimension"

"Drop your guard, you don't have to be smart all of the time"

"We're so quick to point out our own flaws in others"

"If you believe in this world no one has died in vain
But don't you dare get to the top and not know what to do"

**********************

It's just me, God, and the vastness, as always. I'm in the wilderness....

Hormone-wonk. That's my term for hormonal imbalances. Hormone-wonk causes glitches in my Personality OS. Since I'm new to Club Regular Cycles, I've never really experienced the real effects of hormone-wonk on a cyclical basis. The last couple weeks were rocky. I was moody, on edge, and freaking out a lot. Things calmed down a bit when my period arrived. The last few days since stopping, I feel a lot better. More even temperament, not as moody, more energy.

My appetite is returning. I've been eating more, drinking more milk and apple juice, and my temps have been higher too. My blood sugar levels have been consistently in the 80-90 range in the mornings as well.

There's something going on with me but what? I can't figure it out yet.

***********************

That quote at the top of the page...Perceive. Think. Act. I'm stuck in the thinking stage. Unable to take my desired course of action. That is why I have been so angsty lately. All I can do is think. My mind never settles down. That was the hardest part of being young or at least it was for me. I always had ideas. I never got to do much with them though.

Got stuck taking care of everyone else because I was the "good daughter". My sisters got to do whatever the hell they wanted and I followed them around, cleaning up their messes. That was my normal for most of my teens and all of my 20s. I've raised all of their kids for periods of time throughout the years. I bailed them out of jail. I loaned them money (not that I ever got anything back.) I took them to doctor's appointments, paid for medications, visited two of my sisters in psych wards, took care of my oldest sister after her botched suicide attempt in 2012. Took care of our grandmother until hospice took over.

On top of all of that, I've also had to take care of our mother on and off throughout the years. Our mother has a chronic health condition and is on some very powerful meds to keep it in check. She's also had 3 major surgeries in the last two years and has more in her future. My sisters act like it's no big deal, Mom'll be fine, blahblah. That's because they're not stuck taking care of her 24/7 like I have been for the last several years.

I love my mom dearly or else I wouldn't care for her. But when do I get to live? When do I get a break? I don't get to have a life really. Never have. I'm here, doing what needs to be done. My mother is physically limited and needs help with just about everything these days. It's so hard on me, and I'm really pissed at my sisters for leaving it all on me, all of the time.

I haven't confronted any of them because I don't feel it would do any good. They're all self-absorbed bitchfaces, each in her own special way. We tiptoe around the oldest because she's "mentally ill" and "unstable". Yeah, okay...she's that way because she refuses to take her medications and won't face up to how she's screwed things up so badly with her daughters that they don't really want to have anything to do with her. Sister #2 has cut off all meaningful contact in order to be free to feed her addictions away from scrutiny. She messages Mom on Facebook like once a month, sends her pictures of the kids, that's about it.

Sister #3...well, I'm done with her for now. She and her husband stole from me. Screw both of them. I had a decent sum of money saved up for this Peat-venture of mine. Which they took out of my lockbox. I found the smashed remains of said lockbox on my bedroom floor one day when I came home from walking the dog. Other things were missing too, but the money really hit me hard. I had saved for several months, been so careful, because I wanted to do this thing right. And they messed that up for me.

Here I am, trying to save my life. They're pissing theirs away. Just like they pissed my hard-earned money away on drugs, booze, and hotel rooms. I feel that I need to work on forgiving them. It will only hold me back if I keep this anger towards them burning. But forgiveness is too damn much to ask after the litany of things that they have done not only to me, but to the rest of the family as well.

Ugh. It's hard to choose life when you're surrounded by dead ends and death. Story of my life. I don't like referring to my health journey in terms of war, conflict, battle, fighting, etc because so much of my life outside of my health journey is such a jarring disarray of negativity that I'm fighting my way through. I'm going to rise above it. I have to. If I don't, I'm doomed. People like me don't survive this sort of bull**** for very long. It was killing me, now it's just a persistent source of pain and occasional reflective suffering.

****************

Chronic states of stress ARE toxic. That much I can attest to. Perhaps this crap within my family, the expectations and realities of being the "good daughter" for so long have caused me to become this way. Maybe the stress fed the PCOS, exacerbated it, something like that. I know that the stress led me to seek comfort in food. Food was always there, and food seems like a safer choice than drugs and alcohol. Plus it's legal. You can eat as much as you want and there's no fear of getting busted.

I've got to make some serious adjustments in my life, for my future. I can't keep doing this caregiving at my own expense thing. Isolation isn't feasible. Where to go next though? Focusing on health can only last for so long, imho. Eventually one has to start digging up the roots and planting new seeds.

Good night and good vibes to all.

Like the vid Nova

 

[amethyst]

Meditative Reflections:

I'm preserving myself for future generations.

After sharing the anecdotes about my family, I had to take a deep breath. I keep saying "no more personal dirt." I think it's off-putting to some and I'm not sure how I really feel about sharing such things on a public forum. Yet I keep posting such content.

This journey really isn't mine. Some parts of it are about me, but I don't own it. My healing isn't just a gift to myself; it's a gift that I'd like to share, if that makes sense. My gift is that of hope. When you live at the bottom, you spend a lot of time staring up towards the top. Making the climb is something that many attempt, but few accomplish. The people at the top rarely look down. It is as if glancing back during your ascent is a fatal sin.

Those that we leave at the bottom sometimes deserve to be left there. I have no qualms about leaving my sisters, cousins or the few friends that I have IRL. They had their time in the sun, they have had chances, they still have choices to make. I hope that they make better ones, start following a path towards health and life. If not for themselves, for the sake of their children. However, I will glance back from time to time, to check on the next generation. The love I have for them may fade with time, but it will never die, I don't believe.

What happens to my family, our history, our identity...rests with me, I think. Every tribe needs elders and once my parents are gone, that's it. My sisters don't keep the stories alive. When they are gone, my nieces and nephews will lose even those tenuous links to their pasts.

Maybe it's not that important, in the grand scheme of things. To me, such things are of value. I need to know what kind of person I am, what kind of people I came from, what I'm made of. Stories are heritage and they may very well be the only things that we truly inherit.

Who will tell those that come after, if not me? I can't answer that. Maybe I won't live to tell the stories. Maybe no one will be around to listen. Who knows?

All that I am, all that I will become...is so that I may pass something on. My current aim is to be there for those that are to come after me. Living proof that nothing is set in stone, that as long as you have a heart that beats and a mind that reaches out...you can choose a different way of being.

*************************

Onward to actual Peat related things that may be of interest to some.

Weight Loss and Future Plans:
I've been eating 2-3 meals a day, plus some snacks. I'm down to 250lbs. Crazy. I'm only 14lbs away from hitting the 100lb mark. Losing 100lbs in 6-7 months seems crazy as hell, but I think it's going to happen. I'm getting closer to what I weighed when I graduated from college almost a decade ago. After that...well, I haven't been under 200lbs since I was 12-13. So that will be even crazier, lol.

I'm also working on a supplement regimen of sorts. My financial situation is improving. I've rebuilt some of my savings, and paid off a few small lingering debts in the meantime. I'm thinking that I will be able to start the next supplemented phase of my journey early next year. I'm excited about that, y'all!

Thinking that I may post my tentative supplement regimen plans in the near future for some feedback. Thinking of focusing on my blood sugar / insulin issues, which are a big concern to me at this time. I've had a few more of those scary super-low blood sugar episodes. Almost went the ER last week. My blood sugar levels were in the 50s, which is dangerous. I ended up falling asleep for like 5 hours and when I woke up, my blood sugar levels were normal.

This issue has also made Peating very difficult for me. I'd love to eat lots of fruit, guzzle honey and Pepsi and juices...but I can't. Everything has to be measured, slow intake. Same with my favorite food group, rice. I love it, but if I eat too much, I get that sleepy hazy feeling.

*************************

Weird Pubescent Physical Happenings:
I'm still dealing with testosterone-wonk. I haven't been raging much, thankfully. The acne though. Dear God, I hate it so much. I keep having flare ups on my thighs and chest. Every other day, some new nastiness is to be found.

The body hair is growing too. Ugh. I don't hate it, but let's just say I don't love it either. I've discovered patches of new growth in areas that were low or even no-growth before. I have given up on shaving my legs. It's winter. Plus my leg hair is so thick and wiry now that it clogs razors. Even my good razor hears the leg hair chorus..."You can't touch this....na na na na". I cut myself last week and that's when I officially gave up on shaving it.

The teenage boy smell is a thing too. I'm on a quest for a decent deodorant that doesn't irritate my pits. I've tried 3 different brands and none of them have worked thus far. I sweat through them or the stink isn't contained. It's gross, and I'm sure people notice. But regular deodorants cause acne and I have enough of that going on these days. Blaaaaaaaaah.

*************************
Gettin' my winter vibe on. It gonna snow today. Booooooooooooo. WTF, weather? Two weeks ago it was in the 70s and now this?

That's an amazing accomplishment on your weight loss- kudos to you! About the deodorant- try the Crystal Body Deodorant Roll-On- I like it. The Lavender one is nice. It's non toxic. It's made of Natural mineral salts.You can get it in your local health food store or market. Better than all the chemical laden anti-perspirants or deodorants.

 

[Nova]

That's an amazing accomplishment on your weight loss- kudos to you! About the deodorant- try the Crystal Body Deodorant Roll-On- I like it. The Lavender one is nice. It's non toxic. It's made of Natural mineral salts.You can get it in your local health food store or market. Better than all the chemical laden anti-perspirants or deodorants.

A fun and slightly twisted video because I'm in a jovial mood. Just wait for that wicked jazz hand at about 2:25, followed by a delightful choreographed dance routine. :p

I've tried Crystal deodorant. Actually have some now. It is okay, but it doesn't last long. Like 3-4 hours if I'm lazing. Less than an hour if I walk or work out. Definitely not something that I can get away with at my job. I can't use anything chemical-y these days. Causes acne flare ups. Booooooooo....

Kudos appreciated.

 

[amethyst]

"Life is not what you see, but what you've projected. It's not what you've felt, but what you've decided. It's not what you've experienced, but how you've remembered it. It's not what you've forged, but what you've allowed. And it's not who's appeared, but who you've summoned. And this should serve you well, beloved, until you find, what you already have." - Notes From The Universe

The quote above parallels nicely with some of the discussion in the "Positivity Is Making Us Ill" thread, IMO.

Realism is what I see, the obvious and the ugly. That's not life. Life is what I project. Life is vision, I suppose. Decisions shape vision and also bring about a new reality. The oldest "trick" in the book is focus on what you feel, as if emotion is any decent guide to living. A million times, you feel one way, run with it, find yourself in a jam, and suddenly, the all-important feeling is gone. What then? It's time to make a decision.

Experiences are only memories and it is entirely possible that what we remember isn't accurate. Memories are easily corrupted by emotion. Allowance vs. forging, well, I'm not so sure there. Some things we have to allow, submission is but a fact of existence for most creatures. We don't control the show any more than the next air-sucking meatsack does. Do you go with the flow...or do you swim against the tide?

Appearing vs. summoning...that seems a lot like magical thinking to me. Then again, maybe we do attract certain energies, certain people, certain opportunities, if only we focus our intentions and align them with our visions.

I'm searching for myself. When will I find me?

********************

I had a sobering thought the other day. One of those split-me-open type thoughts that would have sent me into a depression spiral a short time ago.

Thanksgiving, I saw a cousin whom I haven't seen in years. This particular cousin and I were close when we were younger. We had a serious falling out in 2009 and haven't spoken since then. I knew that she had gotten heavily into drugs during the last 6-7 years. She lost herself in the needle. She also lost custody of her son, lost her nursing license, and just got out of a psych ward.

I saw her...and somehow, my heart broke. Out of all of the people in my family, I thought that she would be one of the few to make it out of the darkness, at some point.

I'm the only one of my generation, out of my sisters and cousins...to not become a hardcore drug addict or alcoholic. I'm the only one who hasn't done time in jail, prison or psychiatric facilities. I'm the only one who has ever tried to do anything with my life (not that I've done much, but I'm trying to change that.)

It's sad in a way that I cannot explain. It's not that my heart hurts for them and their children. My heart does hurt...but it's deeper than that. To be set apart, is a deeper form of pronounced loneliness than most others.

I've always known that I was different. How different, I could not measure and no words could define. I just knew it. I wondered why I never got into the drug/party lifestyle. Why did I avoid and escape, when they did not? I live my life knowing that I will never have relationships with any of them. The people I grew up with, shared my youth with...they are the walking dead to me. Nothing there except the brokenness laid bare for the world to see.

They let the pain turn to suffering and now they are rotting, waiting to die. Morose, I know, but true. I hope that they can escape, but in my heart, I know that most of them will be dragged under and will drown in a pool of their own sorrows.

*********************

Part of my vision is building a life apart from my family. Making my own family-of-sorts. My family did this for as long as I can remember. We always had "aunts" and "uncles" and "cousins" staying with us. My parents would let our friends stay for as long as they needed, no questions asked. It was nothing to share a room, or even a bed, with someone. I was quite used to it. Honestly, I find it strange to sleep alone. Depressing, almost. Which is probably why I let my giant mutt sleep in bed with me.

Some part of me wants to rescue the younger ones. I want them to know that our family isn't completely screwed up. That we all have the ability to choose a different path in life. I don't want them to fall into the traps of emotion and following bad examples that lead them into chaotic addictions and complex dances with the justice system. That's all that they see now. Six year olds shouldn't know lyrics like this:

"Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out
Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out

We used to play pretend, give each other different names
We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away
Used to dream of outer space but now they're laughing at our face
Saying, "Wake up, you need to make money"
Yeah"

My six year old nephew does. The song came on the radio when we were driving and he was like "TURN IT UP!!!" He sang the whole thing and there was a lot of conviction in his tiny voice. I almost started crying. I know that he and his brothers have a hard life. My sister has battled with various drug addictions for 15-16 years at this point. Her sons have paid for that in different ways.

The six year old is the only one who is "normal". His brothers have disabilities. My sister is much harder on the six year old because he's not, expects him to help with his brothers all of the time. I know that this makes him very sad and probably stresses him out. That's why I tried so hard to make the time that he and his brothers spent with me over the summer, fun. It was supposed to be a vacation for them, I thought. And I wanted so badly to take them all of those cool, fun places, do all sorts of stuff with them. Stuff that they'll never get to do because my sister isn't capable of providing opportunities for them.

*******************

So I suppose all of the above, is what drives me. My journey isn't all about me, it's about something beyond me.

As always, vibe on.

"Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out
Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out

We used to play pretend, give each other different names
We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away
Used to dream of outer space but now they're laughing at our face
Saying, "Wake up, you need to make money"

Ha! heard this song today- funny...I really like it Think it is so...apt.

 

[amethyst]

A fun and slightly twisted video because I'm in a jovial mood. Just wait for that wicked jazz hand at about 2:25, followed by a delightful choreographed dance routine. :p

I've tried Crystal deodorant. Actually have some now. It is okay, but it doesn't last long. Like 3-4 hours if I'm lazing. Less than an hour if I walk or work out. Definitely not something that I can get away with at my job. I can't use anything chemical-y these days. Causes acne flare ups. Booooooooo....

Kudos appreciated.

Love it! Love the movie musical vibe to it. So betcha gonna/wanna see La La Land. I'm really looking forward to it...the reviews are good.....I'm a sucker for musicals...well done ones, that is.

 

[Nova]

Love it! Love the movie musical vibe to it. So betcha gonna/wanna see La La Land. I'm really looking forward to it...the reviews are good.....I'm a sucker for musicals...well done ones, that is.

I'm gonna be upfront and say that my favorite non-classic musical is Descendants. I know, I know...for shame. I'm too old for this ***t but I can't stop watching it.


mother / evil like me from descendants

This number is what sells the movie for me. Kristen Chenoweth...who knew? And that opening is chilling..."Mother...is it wrong, is it right, to be a thief in the night, Mother? Tell me what to do..." Pretty deep conflict for a tweenie bopper Disney flick, IMO.


did I mention? from descendants

This was my alarm tone for awhile. Really gets me goin' in the mornings. "My love for you is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!!!!" That dance routine is pretty badass too.

I can't really defend my love for this movie. Nor can I define why I'm looking forward to the sequel. I watch this movie like once a week. My DVR is mostly cheesy stuff like this. Although I'd say Descendants is actually a pretty solid film for what it is. It has some depth to it, some humor, and a fairly believable main relationship arc.

Ben is really an underrated character, IMO. I love the part where he's like "Yeah, I knew that you spelled me..." and Mal is like "Oh ***t..." and he's like "It's cool, I liked it..." Turns out he's a little bit twisted after all.

And Jay...well, I feel kinda dirty about saying this but he's pretty smokin', lol. His real life name freakin' kills my fantasies though. Boo Boo? WTF?

 

[Nova]

Just a boring health stuff update.

• I'm having some weirdness on the left side of my mouth, along my upper gum line. It's really tender, but doesn't bleed when I brush or floss. No history of dental disease, very strict about oral hygiene. That's unusual. Right? Does this sort of thing happen to other people?
• Acne...still a problem. Only one bad flare up spot though.
• Mood...not so many teenage moodswings. No rage episodes last week. Pretty chill.
• Weight...1lb lost last week.
• Diet...could be better. Focusing on protein consumption. Think I may eating too many starches.
• Blood sugar...close to normal. Only 2 minor hypo episodes last week. One was due to skipping lunch. The other was a late night episode. Both easily corrected by eating some carbs with protein.

Peace and good vibes,
Nova

 

[Nova]

I'm getting ready to begin the next phase of my health journey next month. Which also happens to be next year, lol. I've never been big on New Years Resolutions and all that. It's just the way that things worked out, totally incidental. Sometimes the universe is like that...

I have three main areas of focus for the next phase:

1. Increasing Insulin Sensitivity.
2. Shifting Body Composition. Build Muscle, Lose Fat.
3. Strengthening Life Vision.

**********

I've been doing a lot of research into insulin resistance, hyperinsulinemia and the rest. Trying to figure out what I can do about it that doesn't involve having to go on a low carb, high fat diet. That's pretty much the standard advice to all who struggle with such issues. Paleo/Keto "cures" it! Carbohydrate intolerance! Blah blah blah. Been there, done that, not really wanting to go back to it.

I pieced together a list of supplements and various other things that I'm considering trying.

• IGF injections. It is used by some in the athletic and bodybuilding communities to help build muscle and lose fat. There are various forms. I am looking into the longer-lasting forms that are available for research purposes and not the prescription form. I've come across a few anecdotes of people using it to aid in weight loss, which is what originally intrigued me about it.
• Cinnamon. This is pretty commonly known around the interwebz.
• Magnolia bark extract. Came across this one recently and thought I'd give it a whirl.
• Magnesium. I took magnesium + chromium a few years ago and it did help to keep the hypo episodes at bay. Or so I think it did. I'm probably deficient anyway, so it's not like I have anything to lose by taking it.

I'm also considering doing a progressive liver flush during this phase using Glutathione. I believe that I most likely have a fatty liver and that my liver is a player in this game of insulin thrones that I've been playing with my body for years. Also, I used to drink a lot. The thing about liver cleansing is that it can be very...draining. I've done a couple of liver cleanses before during my crunchy years. Both put me under for a period of time. Just felt so draggy and had terrible headaches during both.

If I decide to cleanse my liver this phase, I will be taking it slow.

***********

I will pairing some or all of the above with a stack that includes a high quality multi, lots of vitamin E, and other things:

• Pregnenolone. I'm using this as my primary hormone supplement for now. Progesterone dosing is very tricky for me thanks to my condition and I was advised by my endocrinologist to use caution if I did start taking it. I'm planning on using it in small doses topically, but do not plan taking it orally or in a HRT fashion during this phase of my journey.
• DHEA. I have taken Pregnenolone + DHEA before and experienced great results. Lots of energy, mental sharpness, and was generally a much more content person. One of the side effects of DHEA can be increased body hair growth and that I already have en masse. Not really looking for an increase there, lol. I will be keeping DHEA at low doses.
• DIM. This is to flush estrogen and xenoestrogens from my system. I was on various forms of birth control and straight Estradiol for years, so I know I have tons of estro-residue floating around in me that needs to GTFO.

************

Burning through my fat stores creates some issues. Not sure of how to mitigate those effects besides being diligent about taking high doses of quality vitamin E. There are probably other things that I could take as well, but I haven't made any firm decisions there. I'm open to recommendations if anyone has any.

Also planning on returning to working out again now that I'm finally starting to feel human again. These last few weeks were pretty rough, but I feel like I'm ready to move forward now. Plus exercise helps to increase insulin sensitivity, build muscle, lose fat and pretty much everything else. Win-win-win.

*************

As for my diet, I'm still working out some issues there. More protein will be necessary to build muscle and shift body composition. I will also need to be vigilant about kcals and macros for a time. Avoiding the undereating/overexercising trap that I fell into last fall will be key. I don't want to drop a fuckton of weight really fast and make myself sick again. NEVER want those horrid intestinal scraping pains again!

Not sure about fat consumption. I've been experimenting with coconut oil lately, eating more of it. Last time I did a Cronomnometer tracking week, I was averaging about 40g of fat a day, most of it from coconut oil. I've went up to 70g of fat a day. Can't say that I really felt that great or that it really did anything of note for me. Some people really do well with higher fat diets though and it may not be a bad thing for me to temporarily increase my fat intake during my attempted body recomp experiment.

I will have to start cooking ahead. Planning on doing twice a week marathon cooking on my days off during the next phase. That way I will have meals ready to go when I need them and won't be making excuses not to eat. Or just "forgetting" to eat because I'm lazy or busy or whatever. Skipping meals is bad habit that contributes to hypoglycemic episodes. Need to break it, STAT.

**************

Once again, this has gotten lengthy. Aiyiyi....

Good vibes to all and Happy Holidays to those who celebrate such things!

 

[HDD]

Hey @Nova Scheller Do you take thyroid? Do you have Hypothyroidism? I've been reading a book by Broda Barnes on hypoglycemia and it is one of the many symptoms of low thyroid. He states that 6 weeks on the proper dose of thyroid can eliminate hypoglycemia. I'll let you know if this works for my family.

 

[Nova]

Hey @Nova Scheller Do you take thyroid? Do you have Hypothyroidism? I've been reading a book by Broda Barnes on hypoglycemia and it is one of the many symptoms of low thyroid. He states that 6 weeks on the proper dose of thyroid can eliminate hypoglycemia. I'll let you know if this works for my family.

Uhm...I'm just Nova, not Nova Scheller.

My answers to your questions:

Do you take thyroid?

No, I do not. I have considered it but not for my hypoglycemia / blood sugar issues. I was considering it for metabolic upregulation / weight loss purposes.

Do you have Hypothyroidism?

I had my thyroid tested in October and my TSH levels were good. Haven't had T3 or T4 tested though.

I have a condition called CAH or Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia. There are many forms and the particular form that I have can cause many issues. One of which is hyperinsulinemia, or overproduction of insulin that leads to persistently high insulin levels. That is what causes my hypoglycemic episodes. My cells do not respond the insulin, fail to uptake the sugars, and this causes states of reactive hypoglycemia.

Keep me posted on your hypoglycemia elimination experiment. I'm very interested in all things in the blood sugar / insulin regulation realm.

 

[HDD]

@Nova oops, sorry about that!

Broda Barnes doesn't put much stock in thyroid bloodwork. He uses basal temperature along with symptoms. And as Peat has written about, temperature can be misleading so he recommends temp and pulse and taking these at various times of the day.

We're currently managing blood sugar with diet along with thyroid. The diet part is a real pain but does make a difference.

Best of luck to you and I will let you know if the ndt resolves the hypoglycemia.

 

[Nova]

@Nova oops, sorry about that!

Broda Barnes doesn't put much stock in thyroid bloodwork. He uses basal temperature along with symptoms. And as Peat has written about, temperature can be misleading so he recommends temp and pulse and taking these at various times of the day.

We're currently managing blood sugar with diet along with thyroid. The diet part is a real pain but does make a difference.

Best of luck to you and I will let you know if the ndt resolves the hypoglycemia.

No worries about the name thing. :)

I do take morning temps and RHR. My temps are almost normal, usually about 98 degrees. RHR, in the 70s. Decent enough. I don't usually take them at other times though, unless I'm feeling really craptastic.

Diet is tricky for me too. I've only recently begun paying closer attention to carb v. protein ratios. Also cut down on my fruit, juice, honey and rice consumption. This last month I've really been having a lot of difficulties with hypoglycemic episodes. The worst I've had since I stopped drinking alcohol a couple of years ago, honestly. I believe a lot of that was overdoing it on carbs and then watching my blood sugar levels bottom out within a couple of hours. Some scary stuff, seeing blood sugar readings in the 50s and 60s and passing out.

Looking forward to the impending results of your experiment.

One question though: Any particular reason for NDT over straight T3 or T3/T4 combo?

 

[HDD]

There have been many extreme blood sugar episodes in my family. Hospital visits. Very scary. Don't want to mess around with it. So many variables that can throw it off.

We've used t4/t3 and just t3. We're using ndt now because it is easier to dose than cutting up the pills and adjusting with t3. It seems to be effective for other symptoms so, for now, it's the preferred method.

 

[Nova]

There have been many extreme blood sugar episodes in my family. Hospital visits. Very scary. Don't want to mess around with it. So many variables that can throw it off.

We've used t4/t3 and just t3. We're using ndt now because it is easier to dose than cutting up the pills and adjusting with t3. It seems to be effective for other symptoms so, for now, it's the preferred method.

I understand about the extreme blood sugar episodes. Had a few ER visits myself.

Thanks for answering my question. There are liquid forms of thyroid hormone and that is what I was looking into for my purposes. Was also thinking of cycling on and off of them to avoid developing thyroid issues down the road.

 

[HDD]

@Nova Sometimes the basal rate isn't reliable.

"Blood sugar falls at night, and the body relies on the glucose stored in the liver as glycogen for energy, and hypothyroid people store very little sugar. As a result, adrenalin and cortisol begin to rise almost as soon as a person goes to bed, and in hypothyroid people, they rise very high, with the adrenalin usually peaking around 1 or 2 A.M., and the cortisol peaking around dawn; the high cortisol raises blood sugar as morning approaches, and allows adrenalin to decline. Some people wake up during the adrenalin peak with a pounding heart, and have trouble getting back to sleep unless they eat something.

If the night-time stress is very high, the adrenalin will still be high until breakfast, increasing both temperature and pulse rate. The cortisol stimulates the breakdown of muscle tissue and its conversion to energy, so it is thermogenic, for some of the same reasons that food is thermogenic.

After eating breakfast, the cortisol (and adrenalin, if it stayed high despite the increased cortisol) will start returning to a more normal, lower level, as the blood sugar is sustained by food, instead of by the stress hormones. In some hypothyroid people, this is a good time to measure the temperature and pulse rate. In a normal person, both temperature and pulse rate rise after breakfast, but in very hypothyroid people either, or both, might fall. "

Some hypothyroid people have a very slow pulse, apparently because they aren't compensating with a large production of adrenalin. When they eat, the liver's increased production of T3 is likely to increase both their temperature and their pulse rate.

By watching the temperature and pulse rate at different times of day, especially before and after meals, it's possible to separate some of the effects of stress from the thyroid-dependent, relatively “basal” metabolic rate."

Preventing and treating cancer with progesterone.

^Thats not the title of the article but it is the correct link.

 

[Nova]

Blood sugar falls at night, and the body relies on the glucose stored in the liver as glycogen for energy, and hypothyroid people store very little sugar. As a result, adrenalin and cortisol begin to rise almost as soon as a person goes to bed, and in hypothyroid people, they rise very high, with the adrenalin usually peaking around 1 or 2 A.M., and the cortisol peaking around dawn; the high cortisol raises blood sugar as morning approaches, and allows adrenalin to decline. Some people wake up during the adrenalin peak with a pounding heart, and have trouble getting back to sleep unless they eat something.

Your post gave me a lot to ponder, @HDD.

I've had some nighttime episodes. The last few months, I've been doing biphasic sleep, or splitting my sleep into two separate segments at night. I test my blood sugar, sometimes take temps and RHR during my biphase, or break between segments. Originally I started doing this as a response to waking up around 2-3am. I never had to really try to wake up at that time. It is pretty much automatic at this point.

I get up, stay up for an hour or so, and try to get back to sleep. Sometimes I succeed. Other times, not. The last month or so I've been going to bed around 8PM when I can manage it and just getting up at 3AM or so. I find that I am much more alert and creative during the early morning hours. I do a lot of writing during that time, meditate, etc.

Now I'm wondering if maybe it's an adrenaline issue. Adrenaline peaking and then, boom, I'm up. Another particular issue with my condition is that I have lowered cortisol production. This could be related to the hypoglycemic episodes too, according to what you've shared. Lacking enough cortisol, it could be that my blood sugar doesn't rise as morning approaches, or doesn't rise enough. If that's the case, my adrenaline levels probably do not decline as they should and this could be why I have trouble going back to sleep.

Eating doesn't always help. Sometimes it does, most of the time it makes me hazy but not sleepy. I prefer to maintain some clarity if I'm awake, so lately I've just been drinking milk w/ honey or my favorite non-Peat chocolate powder added to it during my biphase to keep my blood sugar levels from dipping too low.

In a normal person, both temperature and pulse rate rise after breakfast, but in very hypothyroid people either, or both, might fall.

I have measured my temp and pulse after breakfast on a few occasions. Usually my temp is a bit lower, but not significantly so. Is there really a big difference between 98.2 and 97.9?