No Fap Advice For Female With Different (But Similar) Issue?

[wealthofwisdom]

Preamble/Background:

Reading about "no fap" I started to realize that the issues, causes, detriments (and maybe cures?) parallel one of my own issues. It's not fapping (I'm a female, not that that means I couldn't have a fap addiction), but I think it's a similar type of "addiction": another dopamine addiction, in my case an information bingeing addiction.

This is something I've been struggling with lately (ever since coronavirus especially, with less human interaction, and more time in front of my screen), and I actually find it hard to quit. I've quit several things in the past: cigarettes, coffee (for a period), but the hard thing about quitting information seeking (much like no fap I would assume) is that sometimes there are legitimate reasons to engage in the activity. For example I often legitimately have to look something up, etc, but then I find myself hours later having just gone on an information binge. Or I hear something in a podcast and it is a real struggle not to go look it up (even thought it's just a random fact). It's a real time waster, and energy drainer.

I feel like chemical urges behind both fapping and information bingeing (and maybe even other types of bingeing?) stem from a dopamine addiction. They also have similar challenges to stop, like: What do you do instead? How do you control the urges on a neurotransmitter/chemical level? How do you retrain yourself behaviorally?

My question:

So the reason why I'm asking the no-fappers is that I feel like it's a community that has done a lot of research and self-testing in the area of controlling strong impulses and dopamine addiction (which is what I see both behaviors to ultimately be).

So what I'm asking here is: What are the main tips that no-fappers have found to be useful to no fap in terms of:

1) Chemical balance (ie - any supplements, or foods, or things that you ingest that help with minimizing impulses and urges)?

2) Behavior modification? Any tips or tricks there?

TLDR: I guess the broader question is: What are Peaty tips for overcoming a dopamine addiction-fueled behavior that you want to modify? And I asked specifically here in this thread because it seems to be the group of people who have thought and tested the most about this. Thanks in advance.

 

[Murtaza]

You described me to the T. I too go on these information binges almost everyday, mostly on this forum. Never crossed my mind that this is addictive behaviour but reading your post made me realize it is.
The same goes for instagram, you open it up and then youre scrolling for a long time. I think its a deficiency of dopamine rather than dopamine addiction. Your mind wants to see new info or pictures or videos just to get those little bursts of dopamine. I could be wrong, hopefully others can chime in.

 

[Recoen]

I think information binges are an attempt to satisfy the need for creativity and connection. In my experience and from people watching, so take what I’m about to say for that, I, and those I’ve paid attention to, would spend hours on my phone and computer when my health was worse and I had no energy- cognitive, physical, and also spiritual for me. Being immersed in forums, fb, pubmed, YouTube, etc gave me just enough sense of I’m doing something and my life now has meaning, etc. But I didn’t have the energy to spend that time actually with others or on more creative things. As my health continues to improve, I find my desire to do the latter is increasing. I used to say I was an introvert because I would be exhausted after spending time with friends. I no longer experience that exhaustion now. I have never been that creative but I find that side is staring to flourish too.

This of course could be because I have binged enough on information that I’m happy with how my life is going. To be honest getting really sick and realizing the medical establishment aren’t gods and had no clue how to help me started my “rabbit hole diving”. Then I realized that even physical laws are just theory and we have been lied to about so many things so what’s really the truth? Thankfully this didn’t lead me to nihilism but back to God so I am incredibly grateful for the experience.

Anyways, sorry for the ramble, I think you’ll find your need to consume information decreases as your health improves. You can always use apps and screen time limits to control the amount you’re consuming. I know RP and I think Danny Roddy have discussed taking a day off where you limit words - spoken and read.

 

[wealthofwisdom]

I think information binges are an attempt to satisfy the need for creativity and connection. In my experience and from people watching, so take what I’m about to say for that, I, and those I’ve paid attention to, would spend hours on my phone and computer when my health was worse and I had no energy- cognitive, physical, and also spiritual for me. Being immersed in forums, fb, pubmed, YouTube, etc gave me just enough sense of I’m doing something and my life now has meaning, etc. But I didn’t have the energy to spend that time actually with others or on more creative things. As my health continues to improve, I find my desire to do the latter is increasing. I used to say I was an introvert because I would be exhausted after spending time with friends. I no longer experience that exhaustion now. I have never been that creative but I find that side is staring to flourish too.

This of course could be because I have binged enough on information that I’m happy with how my life is going. To be honest getting really sick and realizing the medical establishment aren’t gods and had no clue how to help me started my “rabbit hole diving”. Then I realized that even physical laws are just theory and we have been lied to about so many things so what’s really the truth? Thankfully this didn’t lead me to nihilism but back to God so I am incredibly grateful for the experience.

Anyways, sorry for the ramble, I think you’ll find your need to consume information decreases as your health improves. You can always use apps and screen time limits to control the amount you’re consuming. I know RP and I think Danny Roddy have discussed taking a day off where you limit words - spoken and read.

Actually that does make a lot of sense. Obviously the brain is rewarding a certain type of behavior because it feels like a "win". the key is to find other ways to win.

 

[haidut]

overcoming a dopamine-addiction fueled behavior

I doubt there is such a thing. The evidence we have points to "addiction" being driven by stress. Namely, high cortisol can downregulate dopamine receptors while at the same time decreasing dopamine synthesis. The "addiction" is simply engaging in behavior that produces a surge in dopamine. However, in a state of continued stress both the dopamine surge is subdued and insufficient to provide satisfaction, and the effects are blunted due to the high cortisol/serotonin. Many people with such "addiction" also suffer from anhedonia, which is a classic sign of both high cortisol and low dopamine. Cortisol antagonists have been shown to help, which corroborates the "stress" hypothesis. Sometimes, something as simple as raising protein intake (at least 1g/kg body weight) is enough to bring relief but if the stress is chronic it will cause severe health issues over time and it is something that has to be controlled in order for true recovery to happen. In the metabolic/energetic framework, fapping is the same as drinking, drug abuse, gambling, sex addiction, etc. See last link below for more on that.
Rat Park - Wikipedia
Stress Leads To Lower Dopamine And More Drinking
Dopaminergic Drugs Like Bromocriptine May Treat Alcoholilsm
Most People Recover From "addiction" On Their Own
Drugs of abuse and stress trigger a common synaptic adaptation in dopamine neurons - PubMed

 

[TheSir]

I think information binges are an attempt to satisfy the need for creativity and connection. In my experience and from people watching, so take what I’m about to say for that, I, and those I’ve paid attention to, would spend hours on my phone and computer when my health was worse and I had no energy- cognitive, physical, and also spiritual for me. Being immersed in forums, fb, pubmed, YouTube, etc gave me just enough sense of I’m doing something and my life now has meaning, etc. But I didn’t have the energy to spend that time actually with others or on more creative things. As my health continues to improve, I find my desire to do the latter is increasing. I used to say I was an introvert because I would be exhausted after spending time with friends. I no longer experience that exhaustion now. I have never been that creative but I find that side is staring to flourish too.

This of course could be because I have binged enough on information that I’m happy with how my life is going. To be honest getting really sick and realizing the medical establishment aren’t gods and had no clue how to help me started my “rabbit hole diving”. Then I realized that even physical laws are just theory and we have been lied to about so many things so what’s really the truth? Thankfully this didn’t lead me to nihilism but back to God so I am incredibly grateful for the experience.

Anyways, sorry for the ramble, I think you’ll find your need to consume information decreases as your health improves. You can always use apps and screen time limits to control the amount you’re consuming. I know RP and I think Danny Roddy have discussed taking a day off where you limit words - spoken and read.

Agree with this. When I'm in low health I will spend hours a day in various communities of the internet and find it very hard to stop (though if I'm with other people, I have zero urge to use the internet). Likewise, when I'm in good health I will not feel any pull at all to use the internet. I will be happy just existing and doing whatever it is that I'm doing.

There is something about my apartment that stresses me out. Have noticed coming from a vacation how my mood begins to shift downward in a matter of hours, as if I have descended back into some prison hole.

 

[PxD]

You described me to the T. I too go on these information binges almost everyday, mostly on this forum. Never crossed my mind that this is addictive behaviour but reading your post made me realize it is.
The same goes for instagram, you open it up and then youre scrolling for a long time. I think its a deficiency of dopamine rather than dopamine addiction. Your mind wants to see new info or pictures or videos just to get those little bursts of dopamine. I could be wrong, hopefully others can chime in.

Social media is dopamine poison. It’s deliberately designed to give you little dopamine hits and encourage dopamine-seeking behavior. The endless scrolling feature is an example.

 

[michael94]

I think it is a survival mechanism when you realize things are wrong and desperately seek answers. Yea it would be one thing to retire to your sunny farm and be away from it, but that would require ignorance or convincing yourself that the evil will never come to your door.

 

[Ableton]

do nothing except for cooking, walking, and eating for an entire day.

 

[Jib]

@wealthofwisdom

Practicing semen retention, and I will say this: "Meditating" is everything. I put it in quotation marks because I see meditation as a state of mind more than a deliberate isolated practice, such as working out.

You have to cultivate awareness around your urges. Feel the energy in your body, and visualize it. Recognize where in your body you feel the urge. Ask yourself the magic question: How do you know? How do you know you're having an urge? Stop and think about it. Visualizing the energy helps, and then you can visualize redirecting it. For example, I will feel very strong urges, either for sex, or for a cigarette. Both of these start in different areas of my body and have their own unique "feel" and energy to them.

Identify what it is. You could do this on a walk, sitting down, lying down, standing up. It's irrelevant. The state of mind is what matters. Focus on visualizing the energy built up when these urges kick in. Got it? Okay. Good. Now that you can visualize it, you'll probably notice that it's stagnant. It will very likely be primarily in one area of your body. Now I want you to breathe in, and with that breath, visualize that energy dispersing. Imagine it's a dense, glowing collection of energy, and by breathing in, you're softening it to the point it's a much thinner consistency, and can now flow throughout the rest of your body.

You may want to redirect it to your head/brain. Or anywhere else. Play around with it. This is all visualization.

The other key is to have a clear goal for why you're resisting these urges. If you don't have a goal, you'll give in to your urges.

The goal could be a higher state of being. More peace of mind. Becoming the best version of yourself. Mastering your own mind and body. Having more control, and becoming a version of yourself that you are proud of, and would be proud to present to other people.

You must have a clearly envisioned goal, a purpose, to resisting these urges, or it won't work. I relapsed time and time again with porn for many years because I kept flip-flopping about how I felt about it.

Anticipate the urges and welcome them. Change your perspective so you no longer see this as an enemy to fight, but simply stored energy for you to release. Now all this nervous energy is not something you need to get rid of, or fight against, but free energy for you to recirculate throughout your body. This is the reason visualization and perception are so important.

As for diet, I find fasting to be harmful when you're in a low metabolic state. I easily get very stressed and anxious when I don't eat for longer periods of time, which with my metabolism does not take long. My mind starts racing, heart rate goes up, and my thinking gets clouded. You want to stay well fed and hydrated. I avoided water for a long time because I thought too much water was bad with a low metabolic rate. But have been feeling much better drinking a lot more water on a regular basis. You have to try and see what works for you.

But in general keeping your system supplied with energy and in an anabolic state will always be preferable, especially when struggling with addiction. Sleep is also imperative and I recommend the Manta sleep mask, and Downbeats ear plugs, as well as Durapore tape over the mouth, if you really want to step up your sleep game. f.lux is also very helpful at night, or glasses to block blue light. Walking at least a mile or two a day is also very helpful. This is only 20 to 40 minutes of walking daily. It is a good place to start. "Meditation" seems to be a natural part of walking, IMO, and is the easiest form of "Meditation" for anyone to access. If you have an urge, go for a walk and think it over, and focus on this visualization technique of recirculating the built up energy from these urges.