Never Broken- sugarbabe's log

Dolomite

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Thanks, such a key thing is keeping blood glucose stable, she is absolutely right! And for me when I'm in a stressed state it's less than 3 hours.

So I'm having a much better day after finally getting lots of calorie rich foods yesterday. I ended up eating 100 grams of fat and almost 300 grams of carbs but pretty low in protein. Adrenaline really makes me not able to focus on what's important. So I can understand why some people never get better, they can only think of things that are wrong they can't consider what a good path to get out of it is.
That is great you feel better today. Just try to eat every so often so that you never really get hungry. It will keep the adrenaline down and help you defeat estrogen effects. Even a piece of hard candy can help if nothing else is available. But having something starchy seems to help me the best.
 
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InChristAlone

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That is great you feel better today. Just try to eat every so often so that you never really get hungry. It will keep the adrenaline down and help you defeat estrogen effects. Even a piece of hard candy can help if nothing else is available. But having something starchy seems to help me the best.
Thank you! Yes, starch has helped me a lot along with higher calories.
 
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InChristAlone

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Things are always changing never staying the same, which is good news for me! Had a major positive turn, not sure what the direct cause was as my calories have still been up and down. I took a little squirt of vitamin E from a unique-E capsule a couple nights ago and felt a positive feeling from it. Then the next day took about 70 mg of niacinamide with dinner and that seemed to calm me way down, like nothing bothered me. So I took some more E last night and didn't take the cypro as I just want to be off it, it's done it's job of getting me the rest I needed during high anxiety. Woke up this morning from a bad dream but otherwise I feel pretty good! I am prepared for anxiety, but I'm not even sure it will come. I will take some more niacinamide in a bit maybe sip on it all day instead of one dose. And I had planned on doing a coffee enema if it was real bad today. I just found out that anti-histamines might cause cholestasis so I was prepared for a bile dump on withdrawal.

The other major thing I think was helpful is I started eating one square of caramel filled milk chocolate a couple days ago. The cypro gave me really bad low dopamine. I didn't want to do anything but sit at my desk and read the forum or watch youtube and was way too analytical, lost all good feelings. I thought if low dopamine is causing the depression then I will use chocolate as medicine. And I think it worked. I'm getting pleasure back! lol Now I can completely understand why people with ADHD need dopamine stimulation, if it's low they will feel like they have no motivation to do anything. I no longer judge them for using a very low dose of ritalin or other stimulating drug. Low dopamine SUCKS. A low dose of a drug I think is better than getting addicted to coffee. Caffeine can have some rather awful side effects in high doses. And people with ADHD will always use more than they should. So a controlled low dose of a stimulant is better. I am trying to keep the chocolate as low as possible to give me life back without overdoing it. My history is filled with overdoing it. Always ending up being way too overstimulated and regretting it. But I couldn't control myself. I am in a much better place, feeling very clear headed and able to make the right decisions. My husband is key for this as well, he is always right there to remind me that I can't go back to being addicted to stimulants. He is my protector through and through and the inspiration for my profile pic. <3
 
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InChristAlone

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Having what I thought was the real withdrawal from cypro, but I just realized that a fountain soda I got from a restaurant probably had caffeine yesterday (root beer). I ended up feeling awful the rest of the day with a migraine and couldn't sleep like barely at all. Was overheated no matter if I had the blanket on or off and just didn't feel sleepy until about 4 am. I thought this must be the receptors coming back or something, maybe a bile dump, but the caffeine makes more sense as I was feeling pretty dang good up until about 3pm yesterday. Or at least as back to normal as I could be for the circumstances. So now I'm just trying to float through the rest of the day and get a better night sleep.

Also for those following that may be bored with my ups and downs here is some education on how to manage anxiety from the book "DARE a new way to end anxiety"

Defuse- when scary thoughts and sensations arise defuse them by saying 'oh that's no big deal' or 'so what' or 'oh well', when there is no real danger we need to tell our brain that it's overreacting to the situation.
Accept and Allow- try to release all tension in your body, go spaghetti, like a wet noodle. Do not tense up. Do not fight it. Anxiety lives in the resistance to it. say out loud 'I accept and allow this anxious feeling/thought'.
Run towards- You will start feeling better when you aren't fighting the thoughts, memories or sensations. Ask for more! Get confident about it. Don't curl up in a ball and fight it. Say to the anxiety 'bring it on!'.
Engage- Engage back in your life. This doesn't mean distract yourself from the anxiety. The goal is not elimination, it's about the thoughts and sensations being unimportant. We are allowed to have the thoughts and sensations. What things would you be doing if you didn't have anxiety? Engage in those things. No expectations, say oh well to any sensation that comes up.
 
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InChristAlone

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Been kinda obsessed lately with the vitamin A is toxic angle. My health had been doing so well and then I started eating 3 eggs a day back in the beginning of summer. I felt like it was helping me have energy, but I think over time my liver was actually getting more fatty. My stool started getting more light in color, I mean no where near clay colored but not dark brown. So I stopped eating eggs 6 days ago and my stool in the last couple days has gone back to being dark brown and even sinking to the bottom, which previously I only saw that happen if I had consumed a bunch of fiber. I'm not consuming any more fiber other than in one banana and organic pasta, which is a great source of soluble fiber. Apparently it can help bind up the toxic bile.

So this summer I had become more intolerant to the heat, and this can be from toxic bile accumulation. Hoping I can solve this issue by being more kind to my liver. I saw a study about how vitamin E protected rats from a lethal dose of iron so I also have been taking that off and on. My serum iron has always been around 100 and according to a functional practitioner I worked with 100 is max healthy range for serum iron. Apparently iron overload is a result of fatty liver and not because you get too much from food.
 
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InChristAlone

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I'm really trying to figure out my blood sugar issues. Been eating just pasta and grape juice in the morning (with a little butter and parm) and while it doesn't provide that uncoupling effect from a high calorie meal, it doesn't make me feel anxious. I checked my blood sugar about an hour after and it was 101. That's after 63 grams of carbs! So my suspicion about insulin is correct, slower carbs appear to prevent the crash, as does avoiding high protein in the morning. The problem is it's not providing enough appetite stimulation and thyroid boosting effects ( still feel cold), so I'm not really fixing the issue by avoiding the things that cause the crash. I just hate going through it! And I know it's not good for my body either to go through a high and low. But in the past I had to go through it to get to the point I could eat anything without causing anxiety. Maybe I should just be thankful for good insulin sensitivity.

A user named tyw had some useful thoughts about how our body is way more insulin sensitive during the daytime and prefers to burn fats at night. So I had been trying to limit the fats during the day and then consume them mostly after sunset. It has really helped my sleep. The first night I slept til 6 am without many wakings. I don't usually wake up in the beginning of the night but sometimes I get the 2-3 am waking indicating my liver is struggling. Plus I still deal with some breathing issues, I get so much into deep sleep my breathing seems too paralyzed then I wake up groggy. I get intense vivid dreams during these times. So at least I am going through full sleep cycles, but I'd prefer not to feel like I could die in my sleep. Still considering the CPAP. And I will try some more Energin for the thiamine. I refuse to do the big doses of that though.
 
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InChristAlone

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Had a really bad day yesterday, I had eaten 1/4 lb ground beef for lunch, then roast beef for dinner and my guts felt like they were completely stopped, I was digesting all night. That caused a lot of anxiety yesterday. Today I was nervous about how the day would unfold but I was so glad I had made cheesy potatoes yesterday because it seriously hit the spot this morning. So I ate it again for lunch. And I actually have some energy! So I've had 69% of my calories as fat. That's like the highest I've ever gone. Though normally I would eat more carbs on top of those meals. Why does my body just really love calorie dense food! Yesterday when I was trying to do high carb low fat I was cold all day couldn't warm up at all unless I was sitting under the heat lamp. We are in the coldest part of the yr down here in the South ( which means like 64 instead of 80 lol).

I am considering supplementing the vitamin B1 as I have pretty much all the symptoms of deficiency, I even felt like my toes were a little swollen yesterday, just by feel not by look. But the full sensation, low stomach acid, anxiety, nervous, feeling like my hands and feet were going to go numb, definitely exercise intolerance. And I have the risk factor which is a high carb refined diet.

Increase Pulse Rate • Full Sensation Stomach • Constipation • Gastroparesis • GERD • Low Hydrochloric Acid *Peripheral Neuropathy • Anxiety • Nervous Tension • Brain Fog • Exercise Intolerance • POTS • Sleep Apnea • Panic Attack • Nightmare • Lack of Stamina • Buildup of Lactic Acid • Rids Excess Estradiol • Lowers ROS • Prevents Toxemia • Stress – Highly irritable, edgy, low tolerance to stress

I'm going to first try out the Energin as that really seemed to speed up digestion, then if that isn't feeling right I"ll just go for the thiamine hcl and see how I do on small amounts and work up to maybe 50 mg.
 
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InChristAlone

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I think I'm finally figuring things out. For whatever reason my body really wants fats. I ate 55% fats yesterday and the only time my heart rate was a bit elevated was after beef tacos, so then I had the cream cheese, cream and gelatin dessert before bed and I almost had too much energy to go to sleep, I just wanted to talk to my husband forever. But I slept well and didn't really have my usual sleep apnea like wake ups. Heart rate calm. And still is calm today after cheesy potatoes for breakfast and lunch, which again is like 60% fat. It's basically a loaded baked potato on steroids. I feel warm, motivated and plenty of energy, so much so I cleaned and organized for 2.5 hours. This is after having zero energy and full of adrenaline while doing the high carb diet (protein also triggered adrenaline). And I haven't even taken the drop of Energin yet today (it's 1 pm).

112/75 BP, 90 pulse, 98.6 temp
 
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InChristAlone

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So I took the drop of Energin and continued just running around cleaning and organizing. Then I ate chicken and rice for dinner, it was a pretty good test to see if starches are an issue for me and sure enough not even 1.5 hrs later I started to feel my symptoms coming on so I went and ate the strawberry fat bomb dessert and held it off. But it was too late I had an awful night, waking up not breathing, arms falling asleep easily. Woke up pretty frustrated about things. Realized this is exactly the same thing as I have been struggling with ever since going on the Ray Peat diet. Reactive hypoglycemia like symptoms, but my blood sugars are near perfect. I do think it is mainly from undereating, but it's pretty scary that a meal could literally make me have a panic attack make me think I'm going to die, so yeah I do get afraid of food when this happens, panic attack is listed as a symptom of reactive hypoglycemia and it can be idiopathic meaning blood sugar looks normal. It could be that I have thiamine deficiency but using b vitamins does make me feel too speedy.
 

ursidae

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I don't know if it's just me but it's worth sharing that starch+meat meals are destructive to me too. They make me bloated and ruin my digestion. Rice is more compatible with meat than potatoes but still suboptimal at least for me. Things run a lot more smoothly for me when I eat them separately, as much as I strongly crave mixed meals.
 
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InChristAlone

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I don't know if it's just me but it's worth sharing that starch+meat meals are destructive to me too. They make me bloated and ruin my digestion. Rice is more compatible with meat than potatoes but still suboptimal at least for me. Things run a lot more smoothly for me when I eat them separately, as much as I strongly crave mixed meals.
Yeah unfortunately rice is the worst combo for me with meat, I don't even really like rice, just eat it for the carbs. I think you are right they should be eaten separate.
 
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InChristAlone

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I asked Ray Peat about using saturated fats as fuel because of my reactive hypoglycemia although I forgot to mention my blood glucose is near perfect and he said this:

ray peat.JPG

Too much protein causes declining thyroid function?! Interesting he decided to include that as I didn't mention anything about protein. And I don't consume enough most days! But my thyroid is fine, I hit 98.8 today after another meal of cheesy potatoes. I'm thinking when I was eating high carb I was inadvertently causing b vitamin deficiencies and possible gut dysbiosis which could have increased my VLDL.
 

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A lot of things that slow down detoxification or bile secretion help with symptoms in the short-term. They can be used if it is unbearable.
But inhibiting it for a long time will cause a lot of issues.

Lactoferrin helps me a lot. Since using it my stool is dark brown and sticky again. It only took a few days of taking it to do that. Before it my stool was very pale and sluggish for many many months.

I stopped all other supplements before I started LF.

Signs of cholestasis are:
1. Itching, in particular but not limited to that of the palms of the hands and soles of the feet and limbs without presence of a rash
2. Itching that is more noticeable in the evening
3. Darker urine
4. Pale stools
5. Fatigue
6. Increased nausea
7. Decrease in appetite
8. Jaundice (less than 10% of women)
9. Upper right quadrant pain
 
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InChristAlone

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Does the high fat cause any weight gain issues? I don't think I eat enough fats, but am worried about putting on more weight when I'm already overweight.
No, only when sugar and carbs are half and half does some then get stored as fat which is why haagen dazs is so good at making people gain weight. 50% fat won't cause weight gain if carbs are kept below 35%. I am actually feeling lighter! Probably because fats don't cause bloating. I think I had undiagnosed gut problems.
 
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InChristAlone

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A lot of things that slow down detoxification or bile secretion help with symptoms in the short-term. They can be used if it is unbearable.
But inhibiting it for a long time will cause a lot of issues.

Lactoferrin helps me a lot. Since using it my stool is dark brown and sticky again. It only took a few days of taking it to do that. Before it my stool was very pale and sluggish for many many months.

I stopped all other supplements before I started LF.

Signs of cholestasis are:
1. Itching, in particular but not limited to that of the palms of the hands and soles of the feet and limbs without presence of a rash
2. Itching that is more noticeable in the evening
3. Darker urine
4. Pale stools
5. Fatigue
6. Increased nausea
7. Decrease in appetite
8. Jaundice (less than 10% of women)
9. Upper right quadrant pain
So I feel like when I was doing the 3 eggs a day plus lots of starches I was developing cholestasis, stools were more pale and floating and I would lose my appetite easily. I am just noticing that my stool is really dark brown on all this dairy fat! I honestly don't think dairy fat causes cholestasis, even Garrett thought butter was safe in the beginning. And Weston A Price also found butter protective, those that received the high vitamin butter oil in combo with the cod liver oil were protected from the toxicity of cod liver oil (weston a price fans don't know he said this about cod liver oil! though they do eat a lot of butter anyway). Garrett is the one who posted that paper and I found many gems in it.

But I am considering what I can do to bind bile besides beans as I doubt I will tolerate them.
 

Karime22

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Wow, @sugarbabe. I can't thank you enough for writing/Journaling what you are going through. I am currently going through something relatively similar. I was having a ton of issues after I took a bunch of supplements to "kill candida " and messed up my digestion and started having crazy adrenaline and extreme constant hunger (alternating with low hunger) and many other things. (It also corresponded to a blood draw and finding out that i was very low in iron, which triggered a panic response) The latest symptom is terrible terrible insomnia, which is giving me a lot of anxiety (worrying during the day about if I will sleep at night). Benadryl helps some, but gives me more anxiety the next day. Anyways, I just really appreciate you sharing your experience. I do want to add that high histamine foods tend to give me adrenaline responses sometimes. I'm not sure if that's an issue for you. It is so difficult to get enough calories (i, too, seem to need calorie dense foods) but make choices that work with our body. Like, I don't want to really worry about food choices bc of my tendency to be anxious, but I kinda have to bc of crappy digestion or food reactions. I wish you the very best in your healing journey.
 
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InChristAlone

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Wow, @sugarbabe. I can't thank you enough for writing/Journaling what you are going through. I am currently going through something relatively similar. I was having a ton of issues after I took a bunch of supplements to "kill candida " and messed up my digestion and started having crazy adrenaline and extreme constant hunger (alternating with low hunger) and many other things. (It also corresponded to a blood draw and finding out that i was very low in iron, which triggered a panic response) The latest symptom is terrible terrible insomnia, which is giving me a lot of anxiety (worrying during the day about if I will sleep at night). Benadryl helps some, but gives me more anxiety the next day. Anyways, I just really appreciate you sharing your experience. I do want to add that high histamine foods tend to give me adrenaline responses sometimes. I'm not sure if that's an issue for you. It is so difficult to get enough calories (i, too, seem to need calorie dense foods) but make choices that work with our body. Like, I don't want to really worry about food choices bc of my tendency to be anxious, but I kinda have to bc of crappy digestion or food reactions. I wish you the very best in your healing journey.
Glad it was helpful for you! I know for women this can be a big problem, so I knew writing it all down might help others going through it too.

Yeah your candida experience was similar to mine, I found just trying to cure gut problems was a dead end, I tried that a long time ago and felt like I got absolutely nowhere. When my metabolism is low is when I feel like I can't digest anything. When it is higher I can digest even the greasiest foods (though nuts and whole grains cause cramping- have never been able to cure that). And I can make it higher by eating regularly calorically dense foods. And lower by skipping meals or eating too light. It's been a big issue for me as I can lose my appetite very easily. I think it's been my main problem my entire life, when going through stress I lose my appetite and then it makes it worse and I just get caught in the cycle of low metabolism, not digesting, fear of food, anxious, etc.

I used to have pretty bad insomnia waking up every couple hours or not being able to get back to sleep til morning, it's kinda been an issue at times in the last yr too, again because the anxiety can mess with digestion and that can cause insomnia all by itself. I have been pretty focused on the anxiety part of all this, it's so difficult though. I would encourage you to get the book "hope and help for your nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes. You can get it for pretty cheap used. It was absolutely essential for me with anxiety. We can't always cure adrenaline, but we can respond to it differently. I am still a work in progress! It's been 1.5 months since this got so bad for me so I'm still in that period of calming my nerves down. Back when I had the severe insomnia I think I should have decreased my sugar intake and relied more on solid good meals that last longer than an hour (milk I am looking at you! lol such a terrible food to go longer without eating). I think sugar is really awful for people with anxiety. It can calm for a bit then it can be right back to nervous energy again.

Hope you feel better soon!
 
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InChristAlone

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So I've been having this really annoying and uncomfortable thing happening after meals, I have the feeling like I have to burp but burping doesn't always relieve it. It feels like a pressure in my throat kinda like a lump in the throat. The only time I ever really had this kinda of stuff happen was when I was pregnant and my stomach was being pushed up.

I have made some pretty significant changes to my diet and drinking habits over the last few weeks so I don't blame my stomach for freaking out! One major thing I've been doing different is not always having juice with meals, Last two days I started doing hot water with some honey and some ACV (for healthy bile release), but now I'm getting the need to belch and stuff so I'm not so sure that was a good idea. Just don't want to always have juice. But I guess I can't handle so much water without diluting my stomach juices. So maybe then there's bloating. I will go back to the juice to see if it goes away.
 
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InChristAlone

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Just a short update because yesterday's was so negative! It's like everytime I have a really bad day I then have another breakthrough. Today I went back to just having grape juice, no more hot water with ACV for now anyway, and I took a couple drops of Energin and then 30 mg thiamine hcl and started to do some cleaning. I wasn't sure at first how much energy I would have but the sun came out after days of cool cloudy weather and as I kept getting stuff done I just felt like I had enough energy to do it! Pushing through and being motivated sometimes reveals energy you didn't know you had. Now after dinner I am pretty exhausted day 25 of my cycle so I will definitely do more resting tomorrow, but I think the thiamine is the key for me.

Another thing I forgot to mention is I've been doing the heat lamp whenever I'm feeling cold, I think staying warm is absolutely key to having good health. The other day I used it for 6 hours! lol Reminded me how much I hate the cold weather. Another thing I"m hoping thiamine helps me with is cold and heat tolerance.
 

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