My Story (Long & Complicated)

[fitnessgirl]

Hi everyone,

Decided to post my story and hope someone can offer advice or relate to it.

Health problems pretty much started as a kid. I developed eczema, was very shy and awkward. Got diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) and Aspergers. Was never good at making friends and am still a loner to this day. People try to befriend me a lot but i just can’t keep up a friendship and i have no idea why.

In 2015 i injured myself with sports and broke my leg, tore my knee and had surgery for it. Since then i have never been the same. I developed a host of mental and health issues after this including:
- I got Mono/EBV
- Gained a lot of weight very quickly
- Always tired and in a bad mood
- Short temper, desire to be left alone
- I have probably slept for 12+ hours every day since then. I work 30 hours/week and sleep most of the time when i’m at home.
- I bruise very easily and am always covered in bruises
- Scalp hair loss + excessive body hair
- Oily skin

Currently weigh 130lbs and i’m 5’9. I look pretty healthy but feel like death. I have lost interest in everything i used to enjoy. I am stuck at home and started binge eating again due to depression and anxiety. I am avoiding everyone including friends and family. I used to be our families ‘trophy’ due to having many talents and a promising future, but now everyone avoids me because of my mental and health problems.

Medication i have tried:
- SSRI zoloft and paroxetine both made me stupid and lazy
- Benzos xanax and diazepam made me tired and forgetful
- Vyvanse made me sweaty and productive sort of

Currently still reading the forum constantly looking for things to try. I made a list of stuff i am trying out right now
- Caffeine
- Modafinil
- High protein intake
- Very low fat intake
- Taurine
- Sun exposure as much as possible
- Blue light blocking glasses
- Nicotine gum 2mg not sure how to use it

This forum seems to be my last shot at recovery. Doctors have no clue what is wrong with me and neither do i. I just want to be able to enjoy my life again but i can’t seem to enjoy anything anymore. I keep falling back into this dark, empty black pit of self sabotage/self loathing. I even bought a dog and while i love her to death, she has not changed me.

Any help is appreciated.

 

[Barry]

the advice of Ray Peat, as I understand it, is very straight forward. Cut out polyunsaturated fat as much as possible. You can only do this by weighing your food in grams, and entering everything into a site like cronometer. I think your daily polyunsaturated fat consumption should be less than 2 grams. I keep it under 1 g. Drink lots of skim milk, at least 1000g daily. Orange juice, at least 500g daily. I add at least 150g of sugar to the skim milk daily. I add water to the sugar, heat it into a syrup, and then add to the skim milk. If you do these things, your health will improve, slowly over time. I try to get around 2500 cals per day. I also eat white rice and potatoes. Also make sure you get at least 5g of salt per day. Avoid aerobic exercise, do moderate weight lifting, moderate walking.

 

[maillol]

I agree with Barry but before you dive into the high sugar and fruit give this thread a read RP Says Glucose Helps T4 To T3, Then Why Fructose?

The basic message is you need to have a healthy liver first. A good test of this is caffeine tolerance. How do you feel after caffeine?

 

[LUH 3417]

What do you do for work? Is it what you want to be doing with your time?

 

[Sila]

Look into Buteyko Breathing and lifestyle changes to prevent hyperventilation - this has been the game changer for my mental health, digestion and sleep.

Start here The study of Buteyko Breathing and its positive effects. and join discord for more in depth stuff.

 

[Memento]

The basic message is you need to have a healthy liver first. A good test of this is caffeine tolerance. How do you feel after caffeine?

This is very important, I went downhill with high sugar and especially fructose because of liver issues.

"I Have Liver Issues And I Am Not Making Progress"

 

[LucyL]

Get Broda Barnes book on Hypothyroidism

 

[mrchibbs]

Thanks so much for sharing. It's a great first step to be open about issues. I really do hope this forum will help you get better.
I'm a man, but many of the characteristics of your life are familiar to me, and I understand how things can spiral out of control and years can go by without us noticing.
I have a lot of things I could tell you about with respect to your symptoms/state, but one clear aspect to me is you're in a serotonergic state.

With your diagnosis of ADHD and Asperger's it's a clear sign of a tendency for elevated serotonin, probably from birth. Ray Peat has written about this. It's not your fault, and many people can develop or worsen 'autistic' tendencies as their health/metabolism crashes. It can also be reversed at any time.

You're doing a lot of great things. Sunshine exposure is fantastic, that should be one of your foundational steps. Don't burn, but get as much sunlight as you can, going on walks for example is best. If that bores you listen to a podcast as you walk, and typically walking is not boring when its sunny and warm. Walking in the sun is the best and (only) exercise you should do right now, it's gently stimulating yet not taxing and doesn't raise lactic acid and stress. When you get healthier, you'll naturally start craving more ''intense'' activities like sprint or sports.

Your scalp hair loss and hirsutism is textbook PCOS. You say you have oily skin, do you also have acne on your body? If so that's the trifecta of PCOS symptoms. It's been discussed on this forum to death, but PCOS for young women and MPB for young men are basically the same condition, driven by thyroid deficiency. (In studies if they remove the thyroid of rodents, all the symptoms of PCOS appear). Lots of men/women experience the issues your dealing with (rapid body hair growth, loss of scalp hair etc.)

You need to start with thyroid function. This is a complicated thing to approach because a lot of people can't get thyroid supplements/and/or don't know how to use them and it can take years for them to get a grasp on what they need to do. At the core, it's about raising your body temperature so that it's at least 98F when you wake up and 98.6F in the middle of the day. I'm guessing for you its much lower than that.

Now, to go back to serotonin, it's naturally going to be elevated with low thyroid. They're linked. So again, thyroid is c.r.u.c.i.al. and @LucyL 's suggestion is very apt, this is a book you should read, it will probably hit home for you. Additionally

Finally, @raysputin is also very right. If there is something fundamentally disatisfying about your life/work or there's emotional pain you're carrying about past events or grief over your life/aspirations, it's going to keep affecting your metabolism. The emotions we feel have a direct physiological impact, and every time you're under emotional stress you're activating serotonergic patterns of metabolic suppression. (serotonin is involved in survival, not fulfillment and development as a human being, it diverts resources to keep you alive.) There is a fabulous paper you may want to read on the topic. (Andrews et al., 2015)

The SSRIs you've taken have probably made things worse long-term. They reduce the acute pain by turning us into zombies. And they increase serotonin everywhere. And that furthers suppresses your thyroid, which again is central to everything The link between thyroid function and depression

In terms of practical steps, I don't want to overwhelm you with ideas (unless you want me to), but three things which are easy to implement and should help within a week or so, is cyproheptadine, an anti-serotonin available for cheap and very safe. 1mg every night for the long term. It does make you a bit more sleepy, and raises your appetite, but has pulled people out of endless loops of apathy/low energy, and it's literally good for everything.. Another one is Ray's carrot salad. It seems ridiculous, but it can really help clean your intestines, and reduce the source of 90% of the serotonin, which is produced in the gut. And it often normalizes hormones in women. One last thing is topical progesterone. Your PCOS symptoms (caused by low thyroid) also imply progesterone deficiency. Applying topical progesterone on the skin (put some olive oil, coconut oil or body cream on your skin, add some progesterone drops and massage into your skin) may bring you profound relief (and as an added bonus, will reduce hirsutism!)

I think you can really turn your life around, and you have my heartfelt wishes of recovery. You're not alone, not by a long shot.

 

[Lilac]

Get Broda Barnes book on Hypothyroidism

I second this. You should be able to find a used copy at Alibris or Amazon. Read Barnes and Ray Peat's articles on thyroid and hypothyroidism. If you supplement on your own, do it slowly and gradually.

Progesterone supplementation may be good, too. Again, read up before you start. Sometimes a small dose works; sometimes a big dose is needed. Read through the forum for background.

Are you still a "fitness gal" and doing a lot of exercise? Perhaps do walking and stretching only.

 

[DrJ]

@fitnessgirl Have you ever looked into or tried lysine? Specifically making sure that your lysine intake relative to arginine intake is a high ratio (say 2-3)? Lysine would be a serotonin antagonist as the others suggest. Lysine also has benefits against mono/EBV. For me, it helps reduce oily skin. And there also seems to be some interesting correlations between a high lysine intake reducing DHT, which would in turn reduce body hair (and perhaps help scalp hair). Also, lysine plus vitamin C are needed for collagen formation which might explain why your bruises are slow to heal.

Notably, grains have a lot of arginine, and although most meats have more lysine than arginine, it is just by a little, so you slap some meat on some grains and all of the sudden you're probably below 1 in your lysine/arginine ratio. Nuts are also quite bad in this regard. But gelatin is good, and so are most dairy products.

 

[lampofred]

You sound a bit Type A/high glutamate/high serotonin + cortisol, which goes with PCOS-like symptoms on a physical level. In personal experience, keeping PUFA intake at zero (and minimizing lipid peroxidation via aspirin and vitamin E, occasionally niacinamide), keeping calcium higher than phosphate and using gelatin/bone broth as a source of protein, eating sugar instead of starch, getting lots of vitamin D/sun light, and taking progesterone are helpful for this. Avoiding iron and using coconut oil as your fat (as opposed to butter/ghee) will also likely help.

The big thing is to lower phosphate/PTH. As phosphate/PTH goes down and calcium/vitamin D/fructose goes up (and vitamin K, to properly use the calcium/vitamin D), excitation/glutamate/cortisol/serotonin will go down and GABA will go up and your health issues will likely improve.

Coffee is good because once you adapt to it, your liver will be more efficient and serotonin will be lower. I think nicotine will seem very helpful at first for this kind of issue but all it's doing is forcing serotonin down and dopamine up, but that will happen naturally via prolonged PUFA avoidance, keeping calcium/sugar higher than phosphate/starch, and getting vitamin D/sun light/progesterone.

Also I would recommend not planning things out too much, viewing life as a journey and not as a means to an end. Do things because they are intrinsically enjoyable as opposed to enduring pain in the present for some gain in the future.

 

[danishispsychic]

I agree with @lampofred and would add this- what are your current hormone levels and labs? i say start there before doing anything really. also - some of your symptoms sound like thiamine def. - would love to know what your daily diet is like and YES on the coffee/ milk/ sugar thing for you.

 

[alywest]

I agree with a lot of the advice here but I’d also recommend finding an infrared sauna in your area and start going there on a weekly basis. I have a son with autism so it’s something I’ve been paying attention to for years and I know it’s something that seems to help people who have toxicity with heavy metals and a lot of other imbalances. Give it a try. It won’t be as crazy as having to completely overhaul your entire lifestyle. Then make changes to your diet or supplement regimen too, but if your system is too overloaded with viruses or whatever it might be, you’re not going to be able to push them out with supplements alone. Raw carrots and/or cooked mushrooms might also be good during a detox to help with speeding up intestinal transit time and pulling estrogens from your body. Try to avoid plastic (water bottles, food containers, even receipt paper) because the xenoestrogens will leach into your food, water and even through your skin. Good luck and take care.

 

[somuch4food]

First, welcome on this forum. You should find some help here as we are a diverse bunch.

Health problems pretty much started as a kid. I developed eczema, was very shy and awkward. Got diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) and Aspergers. Was never good at making friends and am still a loner to this day. People try to befriend me a lot but i just can’t keep up a friendship and i have no idea why.

Except for the eczema, that describes me pretty much as well.

Currently weigh 130lbs and i’m 5’9. I look pretty healthy but feel like death. I have lost interest in everything i used to enjoy. I am stuck at home and started binge eating again due to depression and anxiety. I am avoiding everyone including friends and family. I used to be our families ‘trophy’ due to having many talents and a promising future, but now everyone avoids me because of my mental and health problems.

I'm 5'9 too. I think 130 is too low for you unless you are very naturally thin. When I ended up at that weight, I was undereating and I had lost a lot of muscles despite looking 'good'. At that moment, I began suffering from insomnia and the ADD became quite severe to the point I was unable to focus on work.

I was also the one with a bright future because I had success at school, but my anxiety and depression prevented me from trully achieving what I could.

I have had ups and downs with being Peaty. I have mainly kept to low PUFA and try to apply Perceive, Think, Act to find my own path.

I have failed each time I tried to implement more Peat staples, but when reading his articles, you get a bigger picture and can understand the mechanisms underneath and proceed to find a solution appropriate to your situation.

I wouldn't recommend supplements until you clearly understand your personal issues. Diet alone can create more problems than it solves if it's inappropriate for the current state of your body.

What has been the biggest eye opener for me is plant toxins. Fruits and vegetables aren't innocent little things that grow to be eaten, they also want to protect themselves and their species. Carotenoids, phenols, oxalates, histamine, salycilates and lectins are some of the compounds I am aware of that can cause problems for people. Plants certainly seem to be the culprit of my anxiety/depression, but I can't go carnivore, I'm still too attached to my old ways.

 

[Pinetreefire]

Hi everyone,

Decided to post my story and hope someone can offer advice or relate to it.

Health problems pretty much started as a kid. I developed eczema, was very shy and awkward. Got diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) and Aspergers. Was never good at making friends and am still a loner to this day. People try to befriend me a lot but i just can’t keep up a friendship and i have no idea why.

In 2015 i injured myself with sports and broke my leg, tore my knee and had surgery for it. Since then i have never been the same. I developed a host of mental and health issues after this including:
- I got Mono/EBV
- Gained a lot of weight very quickly
- Always tired and in a bad mood
- Short temper, desire to be left alone
- I have probably slept for 12+ hours every day since then. I work 30 hours/week and sleep most of the time when i’m at home.
- I bruise very easily and am always covered in bruises
- Scalp hair loss + excessive body hair
- Oily skin

Currently weigh 130lbs and i’m 5’9. I look pretty healthy but feel like death. I have lost interest in everything i used to enjoy. I am stuck at home and started binge eating again due to depression and anxiety. I am avoiding everyone including friends and family. I used to be our families ‘trophy’ due to having many talents and a promising future, but now everyone avoids me because of my mental and health problems.

Medication i have tried:
- SSRI zoloft and paroxetine both made me stupid and lazy
- Benzos xanax and diazepam made me tired and forgetful
- Vyvanse made me sweaty and productive sort of

Currently still reading the forum constantly looking for things to try. I made a list of stuff i am trying out right now
- Caffeine
- Modafinil
- High protein intake
- Very low fat intake
- Taurine
- Sun exposure as much as possible
- Blue light blocking glasses
- Nicotine gum 2mg not sure how to use it

This forum seems to be my last shot at recovery. Doctors have no clue what is wrong with me and neither do i. I just want to be able to enjoy my life again but i can’t seem to enjoy anything anymore. I keep falling back into this dark, empty black pit of self sabotage/self loathing. I even bought a dog and while i love her to death, she has not changed me.

Any help is appreciated.

You are not alone.
My situation is very similar to yours, I am 27 years old and have no life outside of trying to figure this thing out. I think what would most accurately describe my condition is "Post-Accutane-Syndrome", since I took accutane 5 years ago and everything fell apart. Its basically "post-medication-syndrome". There are forums with thousands of people with the same symptoms like you and me, like propeciahelpforum and such, although I'm not active on that forum (or any other forum for that matter). I´ve read a lot on this forum, and its given no results longterm, and probably a worsening actually. I've done everything on your list except modafinil and taurine, to great extent.
Right now I´m doing Vitamin A depletion (11 months) and thiamine repletion (14 days). I'm looking into thiamine deficiency, and it looks promising, but it will probably take a month or so to see if its working. I recommend reading about thiamine deficiency on Hormones Matter:
recovering-from-medically-induced-chronic-illness
energy-loss-cause-disease
depression-anxiety-chronically-hypoxic-brain

That's all I have for now. I'm sorry you are in this situation, but hang in there as best as you can. I´ll let you know if I get better.

 

[Hugh Johnson]

Currently weigh 130lbs and i’m 5’9. I look pretty healthy but feel like death. I have lost interest in everything i used to enjoy. I am stuck at home and started binge eating again due to depression and anxiety. I am avoiding everyone including friends and family. I used to be our families ‘trophy’ due to having many talents and a promising future, but now everyone avoids me because of my mental and health problems.

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I think what you wrote here is also very important. Definitely adopt the Peat approach it'll help. Don't to vitamin depletions though, that's a terrible idea.

However, you have been put into a situation of conditional love in your family. In this situation you must perform all the time, and it is not good. I strongly suggest dealing with this. I have found Radical Honesty to be life changing. In there you can actually find love and acceptance without having to perform or be anything but yourself. Right now you probably have a lot of psychological reasons to stay ill, because if you were healthy you were expected to perform for love again. And you don't need to.

 

[LUH 3417]

I'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I think what you wrote here is also very important. Definitely adopt the Peat approach it'll help. Don't to vitamin depletions though, that's a terrible idea.

However, you have been put into a situation of conditional love in your family. In this situation you must perform all the time, and it is not good. I strongly suggest dealing with this. I have found Radical Honesty to be life changing. In there you can actually find love and acceptance without having to perform or be anything but yourself. Right now you probably have a lot of psychological reasons to stay ill, because if you were healthy you were expected to perform for love again. And you don't need to.

I think this is so true. I was also considered the star child but as I got older and dealt with feelings of self consciousness as an adolescent, at each point where it came time for me to perform, I would get sick. Each time I graduated from a degree and was ready to work, I got some sort of elusive illness that would be impossible for doctors to diagnose. I still wheeze and have allergic attacks anytime I spend too much time with my extended family, and upon returning home the allergies will completely resolve. I know if I’m around a few of them at once it’s ok, but as soon as there becomes a dynamic of performance or I’m unconsciously trying to impress someone with my smarts, I start hyperventilating and wheezing. Recently I became assertive in a situation with my mom and aunt where they were being passive aggressive towards me and I of course did not go home with any allergies. It felt really good to stand up to myself and say “I’m tired of being compared to other people, I am who I am”...

 

[Tristan Loscha]

Hi everyone,

Decided to post my story and hope someone can offer advice or relate to it.

Health problems pretty much started as a kid. I developed eczema, was very shy and awkward. Got diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) and Aspergers. Was never good at making friends and am still a loner to this day. People try to befriend me a lot but i just can’t keep up a friendship and i have no idea why.

In 2015 i injured myself with sports and broke my leg, tore my knee and had surgery for it. Since then i have never been the same. I developed a host of mental and health issues after this including:
- I got Mono/EBV
- Gained a lot of weight very quickly
- Always tired and in a bad mood
- Short temper, desire to be left alone
- I have probably slept for 12+ hours every day since then. I work 30 hours/week and sleep most of the time when i’m at home.
- I bruise very easily and am always covered in bruises
- Scalp hair loss + excessive body hair
- Oily skin

Currently weigh 130lbs and i’m 5’9. I look pretty healthy but feel like death. I have lost interest in everything i used to enjoy. I am stuck at home and started binge eating again due to depression and anxiety. I am avoiding everyone including friends and family. I used to be our families ‘trophy’ due to having many talents and a promising future, but now everyone avoids me because of my mental and health problems.

Medication i have tried:
- SSRI zoloft and paroxetine both made me stupid and lazy
- Benzos xanax and diazepam made me tired and forgetful
- Vyvanse made me sweaty and productive sort of

Currently still reading the forum constantly looking for things to try. I made a list of stuff i am trying out right now
- Caffeine
- Modafinil
- High protein intake
- Very low fat intake
- Taurine
- Sun exposure as much as possible
- Blue light blocking glasses
- Nicotine gum 2mg not sure how to use it

This forum seems to be my last shot at recovery. Doctors have no clue what is wrong with me and neither do i. I just want to be able to enjoy my life again but i can’t seem to enjoy anything anymore. I keep falling back into this dark, empty black pit of self sabotage/self loathing. I even bought a dog and while i love her to death, she has not changed me.

Any help is appreciated.

Welcome.If you are doing Fitness,how much,how many sets and so forth?Maybe too much sports?
Disturbance after Surgery seems like depletion of Vitamins and elements to me,also Brain health inpact of anaesthesia,High Dose B12 for permanent change of state of the Cobalt atom of Cobalamine could be helpful,as intake of higher dosed B-complexes,and magnesium as citrate,in front of a background diet very high in Animal Protein.Only MV i can recommend is Thorne 2/d,but that is recommended if you can get it in your Worldregion.



- High protein intake:very important idea imo,1.6g-2g-3g of Protein per Kilogram of Bodyweight,as mostly coming from fish,meat,gelatine,seafoods and eggs.Not much of a dairy fan,lots and lots and lots of reports of onset of digestion-disease,think about it,digestion is of utmost importance,if you cant digest well,you are actually starving.All healthy people in real life i know of have cut out milk completely,Calcium can be consumed through Calcium-Carbonate or such.Im also not a fan of OJ,or other processed Foods,i think OJ is high in mold toxins and Brain-influencing Carbamates and other herbicides/insecticides (CNS-Poison)



- Very low fat intake:Not a fan of tbh,played with it,Fat is needed for energy and membrane make up,not just a fuel,what is your Bodyfat estimate rn?Can you give examples what your fat sources are,and how much,if you know it,sat mono poly fats and O6:O3 Ratio?
RP doesnt like pufa,but i still believe they are essential and lacking in Individuals with inflammation ROS background,and the general low intake of ALA compared to LA.



- Taurine:..is fine and can be taken chronically.All supplements should be as excipient-free as possible,the danger is real and manifest as disease.

 

[Tristan Loscha]

Hi everyone,

Decided to post my story and hope someone can offer advice or relate to it.

Health problems pretty much started as a kid. I developed eczema, was very shy and awkward. Got diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) and Aspergers. Was never good at making friends and am still a loner to this day. People try to befriend me a lot but i just can’t keep up a friendship and i have no idea why.

In 2015 i injured myself with sports and broke my leg, tore my knee and had surgery for it. Since then i have never been the same. I developed a host of mental and health issues after this including:
- I got Mono/EBV
- Gained a lot of weight very quickly
- Always tired and in a bad mood
- Short temper, desire to be left alone
- I have probably slept for 12+ hours every day since then. I work 30 hours/week and sleep most of the time when i’m at home.
- I bruise very easily and am always covered in bruises
- Scalp hair loss + excessive body hair
- Oily skin

Currently weigh 130lbs and i’m 5’9. I look pretty healthy but feel like death. I have lost interest in everything i used to enjoy. I am stuck at home and started binge eating again due to depression and anxiety. I am avoiding everyone including friends and family. I used to be our families ‘trophy’ due to having many talents and a promising future, but now everyone avoids me because of my mental and health problems.

Medication i have tried:
- SSRI zoloft and paroxetine both made me stupid and lazy
- Benzos xanax and diazepam made me tired and forgetful
- Vyvanse made me sweaty and productive sort of

Currently still reading the forum constantly looking for things to try. I made a list of stuff i am trying out right now
- Caffeine
- Modafinil
- High protein intake
- Very low fat intake
- Taurine
- Sun exposure as much as possible
- Blue light blocking glasses
- Nicotine gum 2mg not sure how to use it

This forum seems to be my last shot at recovery. Doctors have no clue what is wrong with me and neither do i. I just want to be able to enjoy my life again but i can’t seem to enjoy anything anymore. I keep falling back into this dark, empty black pit of self sabotage/self loathing. I even bought a dog and while i love her to death, she has not changed me.

Any help is appreciated.

Dont do very low fat,a couple of members have trouble from it.:

Have Ruined My Gallbladder By Low Fat Diet, Now I Can't Get Back To Eating Fat

 

[fitnessgirl]

Guys thank you so much for all the replies. I ate a ton of food the past 3 days and i feel really chill right now. I have to go back to work in a week so the upcoming week i will experiment with some recommendations from the forum. I probably at 5k calories every day the past few days and i feel like i could still eat more. I dont think i have ever felt this relaxed in my life, i’m laughing at tv shows again and joking around with my family.

i’m gonna experiment with caffeine pills first, probably starting at 3x200mg/day as i already drink quite a bit of coffee.

i also have benzos lying around which i might try to see what happens since they apparently lower cortisol levels.

will make my diet high protein/low fat/high carb

feeling like an obese man right now and i’ll probably put on some weight which is OK for now. I want my weight to stabilize at 60kg (130lbs or so) as im 5’9 and that feels like its the right weight for me.

Suggestions and advice still welcome ofcourse, thanks!