My Social Inhibitation Is SKY HIGH, How To Lower It?

[you]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_inhibition

Don't say meditation.

 

[Nicholas]

can you elaborate on your specific brand of social inhibition? what have you concluded so far?

 

[jaa]

Put yourself in more social situations and practice mindfulness in those situations. Meditation alone might not help that much. If you meditate and put yourself in a social situation you rarely find yourself in, you will likely experience the same social inhibition you are trying to dissipate and will likely find that discouraging.

On the other hand, if you go in with the goal of simply being mindful, you will likely find yourself experiencing nearly the same level of social inhibition, but you will find those feelings interesting instead of aversive. This will help you understand the feelings better and with more and more practice putting yourself in those situations without the additional averseness attached, the social inhibition feelings will probably gradually dissipate.

You can also practice meditation on the side if you wish. This will help develop the skill of being mindful. It may be difficult to practice mindfulness in social situations without a meditation practice. This seems especially true for people suffering from social anxiety as that condition is usually associated with a restless mind.

 

[Such_Saturation]

 

[4peatssake]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_inhibition

Don't say meditation.

Why? What is wrong with meditation?

You may find it helpful to explore questions within yourself so you understand your reasons for the social isolation. Even just start with that one. Writing helps me. Stream of consciousness writing. There is a writer named Julia Cameron who wrote a book called The Artist's Way. It was developed to help blocked writers but it does more than that. It helps people get to know themselves and uncover what is stopping them from moving forward.

The imbalances are within yourself and you are the most important person to get to know and love.

I'm not sure of your diet or physical body issues but loving and caring for yourself is key to having a healthy relationship with yourself and others.

 

[cantstoppeating]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_inhibition

Don't say meditation.

Get bloodwork done to see how your thyroid is functioning. The minimum should be: TSH, Total Cholesterol and Prolactin.

Do whatever you can to lower estrogen and prolactin and serotonin.

For men, the recipe for social freedom is physical strength (i.e. working out with weights) and team sports (i.e. using your strength/abilities, along with other men, for a particular goal).

If you do the above for 90 days you will emerge, quite literally, a different person with all the social freedom you could want.

 

[GAF]

In conjunction with the previous post, becoming an accomplished Dancer (with women) can transform your timidity into outrageous overconfidence. All you have to do is to be able to count to 8 and walk upright and work your butt off for about a year.

 

[you]

....

....

 

[mbarvian]

You say you don't want meditation, which is fine and cool and whatnot, but your posts read like someone who is completely entrapped by a negative self-talk cycle in their head. I don't mean to bring myself into it, but your comments resonate with me cause I remember having a similar attitude at one point (everything is me vs. them, but I'm worthless and accept my fate as a POS loser) in my life and it's utterly miserable to say the least. I think the rest of the suggestions here are good, so hopefully you'd feel comfortable with one. But beyond that, man, I hope you find a way out of this cause it's shitty and really painful. Maybe try remembering good things that people have done for you or you for them? Might be a nice change of pace. As well as diet and ***t, which you're probably already on top of. Godspeed with this.

 

[4peatssake]

You say you don't want meditation, which is fine and cool and whatnot, but your posts read like someone who is completely entrapped by a negative self-talk cycle in their head. I don't mean to bring myself into it, but your comments resonate with me cause I remember having a similar attitude at one point in my life and it's utterly miserable to say the least. I think the rest of the suggestions here are good, so hopefully you'd feel comfortable with one. But beyond that, man, I hope you find a way out of this cause it's s****y and pretty painful. Maybe try remembering good things that people have done for you or you for them? Might be a nice change of pace. As well as diet and s***, which you're probably already on top of. Godspeed.

I hope he finds a way out too. To be clear, I wasn't suggesting he meditate but rather to explore his problem with it and write about what is bothering him - which he did in his last post.

Sometimes one can see oneself and be more objective about what is going on within oneself if the thinking is put on paper rather than just having the onslaught of negativity pouring unchecked as energy and information into one's cells. That is what is creating the cascade of harmful effects he is suffering from.

Kudos to you for turning your thoughts around and for sharing your experience as it shows there are ways up and through this and that you found one that worked for you.

Why do you help so many people through emails? Are there any spiritual or humanitarian motivations? Or is it more about collecting scientific data?

More than 50 years ago, I realized that the US culture had become effectively totalitarian, with decorations, and even the decorations were being fixed by the specialists (the Congress for Cultural Freedom, for example). I went through a series of graduate studies and projects looking for places where reality could influence the culture, rather than being obliterated by it. The academic culture, though, was rapidly changing for the worse. Over a period of a few years I happened to see a few people recover immediately from what doctors had considered incurable problems, using simple and inexpensive methods, and then I realized that some people were willing to discard their old ideas when those conflicted with useful facts, especially when the useful facts could save their life. I started doing evening and weekend classes in nutrition and endocrinology, seeing health as a way to get reality into the culture. My newsletter grew out of the classes, and that led to answering mail, which is cheaper and easier on the internet.

 

[cantstoppeating]

While meditating is great, the suggestion to do it depends on the context.

You wouldn't tell a teenager who's going through emotional turmoil to try "meditating". Or to read the Power of Now and start experiencing the "Now". Most self-help advice is for people 40 years and over who don't have the energy of youth (and all its turmoils) to distract them from the "now" or from their "inner sanctum".

The advice that actually works is the advice that helps them get out of their particular situation, and it's not politically correct e.g. if someone thinks they're ugly they should do all they can to at least look average, if someone is getting bullied they should do all they can to get stronger and fight back.

 

[docall18]

5-10mg P5P B6, small doses of progesterone and 50mg zinc at night have resulted in me becoming very extrovert..

My thoughts as to why: P5P lowers my high prolactin (main supp), progesterone is calming and mine was low, the zinc helps me sleep better. (zinc & prog also regulate estrogen & cortisol). The P5P makes me kinda wired and causes me insomnia without zinc at night.

 

[montmorency]

The advice that actually works is the advice that helps them get out of their particular situation, and it's not politically correct e.g. if someone thinks they're ugly they should do all they can to at least look average, if someone is getting bullied they should do all they can to get stronger and fight back.

Physical strength isn't everything, even for men.
I've heard of many people who avoided bullying with wit and humour, for example.

Being physically fit is always good, of course, but I'd put things like flexibility and nimbleness above sheer strength. I like one of the previous postings about dancing. I think I'd personally prefer to be known as an expert dancer than an expert fighter.

If the worst comes to the worst, then the expression "don't get angry - get even", comes to mind.

 

[cantstoppeating]

The advice that actually works is the advice that helps them get out of their particular situation, and it's not politically correct e.g. if someone thinks they're ugly they should do all they can to at least look average, if someone is getting bullied they should do all they can to get stronger and fight back.

Physical strength isn't everything, even for men.
I've heard of many people who avoided bullying with wit and humour, for example.

Being physically fit is always good, of course, but I'd put things like flexibility and nimbleness above sheer strength. I like one of the previous postings about dancing. I think I'd personally prefer to be known as an expert dancer than an expert fighter.

If the worst comes to the worst, then the expression "don't get angry - get even", comes to mind.

You can have them all: strength, flexibility, nimbleness, wit, humour. No need to create either/or propositions. The core however is still physical strength. That doesn't mean the strength of a power lifter, but enough strength where you feel proficient and proud of your body.

You may like the idea of dancing but have you ever tried it? A lot of advice that sounds good doesn't work in reality. A common piece of advice to overcome social inhibition and fear of women is to take dancing classes. On the surface it sounds like a good idea but it doesn't work. The dude who's socially inhibited and scared of women isn't going to remedy it in the presence of women. Women aren't the problem. The problem is that he lacks masculinity in a very real psychological sense and it isn't found talking to women or other strangers or doing social exercises -- they may sometimes help in the short run but in the long run the dude remains largely unchanged. Some people do experience positive change through them however, because they sometimes overlap with the activities that develop masculinity like risk taking and camaraderie with other guys.

The fastest and most direct way to overcome social inhibition in the context 'you' mentions, outside of diet/supplements, is to: 1) gain physical strength and become proficient at using your body and 2) some challenging, physical and risky activity with a group of guys. So lift weights and do a physical team sport.

Once you do that, all other problems will correct themselves because you'll have the self-worth from having masculinity and you'll leave behind all the other dudes still stammering with sweaty palms thinking their solutions lies with needing to talk to a lot of girls or other dudes in order to desensitise themselves and overcome their social inhibition.

 

[GAF]

"On the surface it sounds like a good idea but it doesn't work."

It doesn't work if you suck at it. It does work if one becomes accomplished.

Confidence only comes from developing high level skills and knowledge in whatever it is one is doing.

 

[Such_Saturation]

I've seen what you talk about. "Outcasts" who "get" into bodybuilding. It becomes just another activity in which to hide into. Perhaps the ego becomes even bigger and walls are built higher. Then they might go to a "mature women's night" at the club to feel appreciated.

 

[cantstoppeating]

"On the surface it sounds like a good idea but it doesn't work."

It doesn't work if you suck at it. It does work if one becomes accomplished.

Confidence only comes from developing high level skills and knowledge in whatever it is one is doing.

That's circular thinking. I can say that about anything, for example:

Talking to girls does work if one doesn't suck at it but becomes accomplished at it.

Talking to lots of people does work if one doesn't suck at it but becomes accomplished at it.

All you've done is replaced one problem with another while being unaware of the root cause of the problem, it's like telling someone who can't bake chocolate cakes to try baking bread without realising they lack the skills of baking altogether.

 

[cantstoppeating]

I've seen what you talk about. "Outcasts" who "get" into bodybuilding. It becomes just another activity in which to hide into. Perhaps the ego becomes even bigger and walls are built higher. Then they might go to a "mature women's night" at the club to feel appreciated.

I've seen this too. People can hide behind pickup lines, personas, intellectual hobbies, just about anything. Any form of self-improvement can become an unhealthy wall to hide behind. Yet it's no excuse or rationalisation to do nothing, especially to not work on improving your strength and even physical appearance.

 

[Such_Saturation]

I've seen what you talk about. "Outcasts" who "get" into bodybuilding. It becomes just another activity in which to hide into. Perhaps the ego becomes even bigger and walls are built higher. Then they might go to a "mature women's night" at the club to feel appreciated.

I've seen this too. People can hide behind pickup lines, personas, intellectual hobbies, just about anything. Any form of self-improvement can become an unhealthy wall to hide behind. Yet it's no excuse or rationalisation to do nothing, especially to not work on improving your strength and even physical appearance.

Okay, but getting muscles as the basis for everything else, I just can't see that.

 

[cantstoppeating]

I've seen what you talk about. "Outcasts" who "get" into bodybuilding. It becomes just another activity in which to hide into. Perhaps the ego becomes even bigger and walls are built higher. Then they might go to a "mature women's night" at the club to feel appreciated.

I've seen this too. People can hide behind pickup lines, personas, intellectual hobbies, just about anything. Any form of self-improvement can become an unhealthy wall to hide behind. Yet it's no excuse or rationalisation to do nothing, especially to not work on improving your strength and even physical appearance.

Okay, but getting muscles as the basis for everything else, I just can't see that.

I'm not talking about going-all-out-Arnold-Schwarzenegger-style. In any case, it's something better experienced, you can't reason your way to it and if you haven't already, try strength training and/or a team sport where you directly use your body to attain some goal.