My Father Recently Passed -- Advise On Healing

InChristAlone

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Sorry for your loss. I think it is important to allow these emotions to come up. Psych drugs or supplements can help you over the hump but eventually these emotions have to come out.
 

Layne

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Does anyone have any thoughts on things to think about for staying strong as I work through my emotions?

Hi @Velve921 -- Sorry to hear about your loss. -- The most calming and healing "therapy" I'm aware of is singing a simple spiritual mantra, called HU. Somewhat similar to the sound of OM, but of a higher frequency. I've used it regularly for over 30 years, and feel it's given me a sense of equanimity in the face of many health challenges. If you're interested, here's a link to a short 3-minute video which gives a brief introduction to it. -- All the Best...

"When you sing HU, you may notice a feeling of peace,
warmth, and comfort as it fills your world with love" - [3-min. video]
 
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Velve921

Velve921

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Hi @Velve921 -- Sorry to hear about your loss. -- The most calming and healing "therapy" I'm aware of is singing a simple spiritual mantra, called HU. Somewhat similar to the sound of OM, but of a higher frequency. I've used it regularly for over 30 years, and feel it's given me a sense of equanimity in the face of many health challenges. If you're interested, here's a link to a short 3-minute video which gives a brief introduction to it. -- All the Best...

"When you sing HU, you may notice a feeling of peace,
warmth, and comfort as it fills your world with love" - [3-min. video]

Thanks for the thoughts!
 

Phiah

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Hello everyone,

I'm going through this process and as anyone could imagine it's tragic.

Does anyone have any thoughts on things to think about for staying strong as I work through my emotions?

Thank you
Hi I’m following this post and wish I could offer you some advice-my dad passed away just before Christmas after a long battle with cancer-he died in my arms. The last 6 months have been a blur and I still feel numb-as if I’m doing everything on autopilot, not really living. I drink every weekend, I think hoping to take away the pain but this actually makes me feel worse if anything. You will get through day by day coping the best way you can. Xx
 
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Velve921

Velve921

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Hi I’m following this post and wish I could offer you some advice-my dad passed away just before Christmas after a long battle with cancer-he died in my arms. The last 6 months have been a blur and I still feel numb-as if I’m doing everything on autopilot, not really living. I drink every weekend, I think hoping to take away the pain but this actually makes me feel worse if anything. You will get through day by day coping the best way you can. Xx

Sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your thoughts.
 

SOMO

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My father passed away last year (1 year in September.)

Don’t give in to grief.
Move on with your life, but make sure you honor his memory.

Sometimes I hug my dads urn and just sit with his painting alone in the living room and talk to it, to make sure he doesn’t feel like he is forgotten.

Give yourself time regularly to spend with your father.

My father and I watched Game of Thrones each Sunday together, so for each episode in this last season of Game of Thrones, I put his photo on the couch where he used to sit and we watched our favorite TV show together.

Your father is not necessarily “gone” - it’s just that his energetic state is in a form not normally accessible to humans.
 

ANDREW CHIN

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May 22, 2019
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Hello everyone,

I'm going through this process and as anyone could imagine it's tragic.

Does anyone have any thoughts on things to think about for staying strong as I work through my emotions?

Thank you

Seek the love in the present moment. Good luck, Velve921. :)
 

Nokoni

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I take some comfort in believing they have just gone on ahead. One day I'll golf again with my mom, and go for a walk with my sister, who lost that ability at a young age. And all my beloved cats and dogs will be there too. I take comfort in believing it so I do believe it, and even look forward to it. Very sorry for your loss.
 
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Velve921

Velve921

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My father passed away last year (1 year in September.)

Don’t give in to grief.
Move on with your life, but make sure you honor his memory.

Sometimes I hug my dads urn and just sit with his painting alone in the living room and talk to it, to make sure he doesn’t feel like he is forgotten.

Give yourself time regularly to spend with your father.

My father and I watched Game of Thrones each Sunday together, so for each episode in this last season of Game of Thrones, I put his photo on the couch where he used to sit and we watched our favorite TV show together.

Your father is not necessarily “gone” - it’s just that his energetic state is in a form not normally accessible to humans.

I like how you said don't give into grief. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
 
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Velve921

Velve921

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It's been 2.5 weeks now. I've made a lot of process very quickly with moving forward. Then all of a sudden, Sunday, I had what I think would be considered some type of panic ATTACK. Never happened before.

Would anyone say this could be common after losing a loved one?
 

peateats1

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It's been 2.5 weeks now. I've made a lot of process very quickly with moving forward. Then all of a sudden, Sunday, I had what I think would be considered some type of panic ATTACK. Never happened before.

Would anyone say this could be common after losing a loved one?

Yes, I think this type of thing is very common after losing a loved one. I think losing someone close to you can shake your reality up pretty bad and that in and of itself can cause panic attacks. Try to seek as much comfort as you can from family/friends, don't become isolated, and be super forgiving and easy going on yourself.
 
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Velve921

Velve921

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Yes, I think this type of thing is very common after losing a loved one. I think losing someone close to you can shake your reality up pretty bad and that in and of itself can cause panic attacks. Try to seek as much comfort as you can from family/friends, don't become isolated, and be super forgiving and easy going on yourself.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I will continue working on that.
 
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Velve921

Velve921

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I had a true panic attack yesterday. Never had before in my life. It's been 2.5 weeks now. The first 2 weeks I handled it pretty week and then this came out of nowhere.

To try and calm myself I've been doing the following:

Talking to people
Attempted meditation
Kalona milk
Gelatin
Honey
Fruit
Eggs
Raw carrot
Red light
Epsom salt baths
NDT
Aspirin
Cypro
Theanine

Any thoughts?

Here's what I notice... there are many conscious thoughts that are triggering discomfort. It comes and goes but I'm the most sensitive to stress than I've ever been.
 

Layne

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Any thoughts?

@Velve921 -- I just looked up Cypro, and it looks like it's short for Cyproheptadine. It's apparently a strong antihistine drug, and is also a strong anticholinergic drug. In case you're not aware of it, anticholinergic drugs block acetylcholine receptors, and can have all kinds of unwanted and serious side effects. This can include cognitive problems, ear issues including tinnitus (miserable!), and can even cause anticholinergic syndrome. I'd advise caution.

Nettles (tea) is one of the best herbal adaptogens I'm aware of, and can be very helpful for handling stress better. I would remind you again of the spiritual mantra I posted above. It can be very calming--for some people anyway. Also, you may want to consider that death is almost always much harder on those left behind than those that have passed over. From my understanding, for most people transation (death) is a spiritually invigorating experience. I'm mentioning this in case a more relaxed viewpoint on death would be helpful. -- All the Best!
 
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Velve921

Velve921

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@Velve921 -- I just looked up Cypro, and it looks like it's short for Cyproheptadine. It's apparently a strong antihistine drug, and is also a strong anticholinergic drug. In case you're not aware of it, anticholinergic drugs block acetylcholine receptors, and can have all kinds of unwanted and serious side effects. This can include cognitive problems, ear issues including tinnitus (miserable!), and can even cause anticholinergic syndrome. I'd advise caution.

Nettles (tea) is one of the best herbal adaptogens I'm aware of, and can be very helpful for handling stress better. I would remind you again of the spiritual mantra I posted above. It can be very calming--for some people anyway. Also, you may want to consider that death is almost always much harder on those left behind than those that have passed over. From my understanding, for most people transation (death) is a spiritually invigorating experience. I'm mentioning this in case a more relaxed viewpoint on death would be helpful. -- All the Best!

Thank you for the thoughts.
 
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Velve921

Velve921

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Has anyone successfully gone through a transition during a tough time in their with using meditation?

I am now going through this and following the work of Shinzen Young during this time.

Any feedback would be great.
 
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Velve921

Velve921

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Just update everyone, the meditation practice has been a life saver, especially yoga nidra.

The one supplement, and I mean the only that could take the edge off was theanine. Not even the big guns in peats arsenal could suffice.

But theanine was a life saver, truly.
 

inthedark

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Ray Peat on losing loved ones

" It activates the “helplessness” reactions in the body, stress weakening your own life, and I think it can help to get out of that if you think of your life as a continuation of theirs—the same life, though with fewer bodies. "

This is such a beautiful quote. I recently had a good friend decide on medically supervised death. This quote came partially to mind as I've been grieving and thinking, and the search for it brought me to this post. Do you know what the source is? One of his books or an email with a forum member maybe?
 

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