My Experience With Coffee After 3 Years Of Daily (ab)use

YourUniverse

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When I made my account here I was deep in a depression but hanging on by forcing some self-regimentation, like working and exercising. I was not drinking coffee or taking any stimulants. On that day 1, I had my first latte in a long time. I felt really good. Reading that its healthy in a virtually dose-dependent manner, I was hooked.

Recently I tried coming off of coffee, and all stims (including nicotine, coca cola, chocolate), just to see. After the "withdrawal" period of headache and lethargy, I started to feel OK.

What I noticed:
-sleep did not improve, and I would wake up tired, but not zombified.
-evening sleep time came earlier and earlier, as did morning wake time. Gradually shifted from a little past midnight (to about 9am), to ~10:15 (to about 6:45am).
-initially easier to do tedious things, maybe some dopamine re-sensitizing.
-less frantic hunger pangs/blood sugar troubles. When I was hungry it was no big deal (coffee, like thyroid, made it very stressful).
-small things that I emotionally pushed down bubbled up to the top again. It's like coffee makes me forget unpleasant or stressful things. This sounds like a good thing, but is it?

If I did not drink coffee, and "fixed" all the problems (small or large) that coffee makes me forget or not care about, would I need coffee in the first place? Is coffee an emotional band-aid?

I had coffee this morning and I could not get to the depth of emotion I felt without the coffee. It has vanished from my consciousness. I can of course remember some of the things that caused me stress without coffee, but they only bother me a little now and really not enough to fervently act upon, even though they should probably bother me more. I am unable to access those feelings. It might be worth coming off of coffee (or maybe thyroid.... dont take my advice, though) to access what the subconscious is telling me stresses me, and then use coffee to TACKLE that problem. I think coffee has made me a bit disconnected with stress and I'm not sure its a great thing.
 
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skittles

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Coffee has been a big part of my life for the past few years. But I can't help but feel like i should take a serious break (like six months or more) just to see if I notice anything positive.
 

gaze

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i personally don't think it's productive or practical. the idea of emotional healing and repressed emotions etc, i think it's misguided. looking backwards and guilt and shame and all of those emotions come with low thyroid and serotonin. generally it comes along with cold body temps and a cold brain. eventually you may come to terms with those past grievances if you face them, but a low thyroid will make it so anything that happens in your life moving forward will possibly cause shame and guilt, creating an endless cycle. i think the coffee is boosting your thyroid and lowering serotonin, giving you the ability to forgive yourself and move on and look forward, because at the end of the day being upset about the past is anti-life by bringing curiosity about other things to a halt.

i like this quote by Ray:

"a man in his 80s showed the classical signs of senile dementia, with childishness, confusion, self-centeredness, and unstable emotions. A few days after getting a mixture of thyroid, pregnenolone, and progesterone, his mind was again clear, and he was able to work on a research project he had set aside years before. When the body temperature is very much below normal, mental functioning is seriously limited. I think the first question that should be asked about a demented person is "is this the cold brain syndrome, or is something else involved?""

notice that self centeredness is a symptom that Ray would describe as dementia. according to Ray dementia is not only an old person disease, as seen by this quote:

"Most people are slightly demented now and then, when they are very sleepy or tired, or sick, or drunk, or having a hormone imbalance or extreme anxiety state. Sometimes physicians have described people as demented, implying that the condition would never improve, when the person was depressed or hypothyroid"

Guilt, shame, are self centered emotions because they imply a broken and embarrassed ego.

I will say however, possibly the best book i have ever read in regards to accepting and forgiving yourself for your past is the book "the fall" by albert camus. I think you'd highly enjoy that story. Also just cause it relates a bit, camus had a fairly funny quote saying "should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?"
 
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Scenes

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On a similar train of thought myself, wonder if you can relate...

I've noticed the 'peaty' supplements can be so effective at reducing stress that they make me indifferent to consequences for foolish actions, almost as if I feel like it doesn't matter because I'll just handle it, or it's too easy to compartmentalise and ignore it. I think for me things like zinc, calcium, progesterone and keto dht all played a part.

Zinc makes me a bit emotionally numb, coffee and calcium make me feel so good, and the androgens increase your confidence. Can lead to foolish decisions.
 
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YourUniverse

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On a similar train of thought myself, wonder if you can relate...

I've noticed the 'peaty' supplements can be so effective at reducing stress that they make me indifferent to consequences for foolish actions, almost as if I feel like it doesn't matter because I'll just handle it, or it's too easy to compartmentalise and ignore it. I think for me things like zinc, calcium, progesterone and keto dht all played a part.

Zinc makes me a bit emotionally numb, coffee and calcium make me feel so good, and the androgens increase your confidence. Can lead to foolish decisions.
Yes I think so too
 

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