Mold in the house, but you can’t move- what do you do??

[ursidae]

Why you can't get other type of job? One that pays enough to cover your basic life needs?

Not sure I can get something high paying enough to rent a place without mold. It’s not cheap here to rent. I have worked though but it was never for pay or it was low pay: baby sitting and cleaning the house— in return I could live in a family’s small basement room , tutoring- low pay, translation- low pay and no pay, working in a microbiology lab - no pay, physical labour in the summer- in return I could stay in a family’s house. Up until the last month I was actually using up my savings to buy supplements or medications or do tests because I wasn’t in the health condition to do much, just the minimum of university assignments. I am healthy enough right now to work something so hopefully enough I can get a job as with the Covid situation even qualified people struggle. Ideally I would be able to clean this up though because my 18 year old brother lives here and he shouldn’t be breathing this ***t

 

[BearWithMe]

Ideally I would be able to clean this up though because my 18 year old brother lives here and he shouldn’t be breathing this ***t

You can't. It is just not possible, for many reasons. Don't use this to rationalize staying there. The best you can do is convince him to move out.

Not sure I can get something high paying enough to rent a place without mold.

So you haven't even tried yet? I'm absolutely 100% sure you can.

I have worked though but it was never for pay or it was low pay: baby sitting and cleaning the house— in return I could live in a family’s small basement room , tutoring- low pay, translation- low pay and no pay, working in a microbiology lab - no pay, physical labour in the summer- in return I could stay in a family’s house.

Yea, don't be a slave and don't work for free or for pennies. What is even a point of working if it won't cover your basic needs?

The thing is. If you stay in this place any longer, you will get debilitating CFS and when you get debilitating CFS, it's over. At this point, you truly won't be able to move out, you will be trapped and you will die poor and terribly sick. It will be inevitable. Move the f**k out while you still can.

Stop looking for reasons why you can't find a good paying job and just find one. Or get a mediocre one and work on your skills in the meantime to get better job soon. Just do something now.

Covid is not an excuse either. Don't wait for it to end, it likely never will.

 

[ursidae]

You can't. It is just not possible, for many reasons. Don't use this to rationalize staying there. The best you can do is convince him to move out.


So you haven't even tried yet? I'm absolutely 100% sure you can.


Yea, don't be a slave and don't work for free or for pennies. What is even a point of working if it won't cover your basic needs?

The thing is. If you stay in this place any longer, you will get debilitating CFS and when you get debilitating CFS, it's over. At this point, you truly won't be able to move out, you will be trapped and you will die poor and terribly sick. It will be inevitable. Move the f**k out while you still can.

Stop looking for reasons why you can't find a good paying job and just find one. Or get a mediocre one and work on your skills in the meantime to get better job soon. Just do something now.

Covid is not an excuse either. Don't wait for it to end, it likely never will.

I have tried. But not between October-December 2020 as I was in a pretty bad health state, physically and cognitively (poor short term memory/ADHD type symptoms, unable to think clearly). The cognitive problems have improved a lot after recently taking choline. I’m here for 4 months before I go to uni abroad, but you are right I should try as I shouldn’t be dependent on my parents at my age

 

[akgrrrl]

You can't. It is just not possible, for many reasons. Don't use this to rationalize staying there. The best you can do is convince him to move out.


So you haven't even tried yet? I'm absolutely 100% sure you can.


Yea, don't be a slave and don't work for free or for pennies. What is even a point of working if it won't cover your basic needs?

The thing is. If you stay in this place any longer, you will get debilitating CFS and when you get debilitating CFS, it's over. At this point, you truly won't be able to move out, you will be trapped and you will die poor and terribly sick. It will be inevitable. Move the f**k out while you still can.

Stop looking for reasons why you can't find a good paying job and just find one. Or get a mediocre one and work on your skills in the meantime to get better job soon. Just do something now.

Covid is not an excuse either. Don't wait for it to end, it likely never will.

This is just sincere, honest advice from bearwithme, trying to help you understand the fullness of a situation that can get worse.
"Stop looking for reasons why you cant"
You have to find your inner warrior.

 

[BearWithMe]

I have tried. But not between October-December 2020 as I was in a pretty bad health state, physically and cognitively (poor short term memory/ADHD type symptoms, unable to think clearly). The cognitive problems have improved a lot after recently taking choline. I’m here for 4 months before I go to uni abroad, but you are right I should try as I shouldn’t be dependent on my parents at my age

That's very good! You have the right mindset, I'm sure you will be able to get a good job in no time. You just need to get out of the influence of the damn mold.

See, it is a self-perpetuating negative feedback loop. The mycotoxins will make you feel horrible, exhausted, brain-foggy, they will give you ADHD and memory loss, they will drain out your motivation to do anything. And this in turn will make you unable to get out of their influence.

It's awesome that you are feeling better at this point. Grab this opportunity NOW and do something IMMEDIATELLY, while you still can.

There will be no better time than now, because the mold will only make you more and more sick over time.

 

[Amazoniac]

It's easy for people to tell you to move, they're not going to be the ones dealing with consequences. We don't even know how bad the situation is and how much of what you're experiencing can be blamed on being susceptible. An impulsive decision may be in vain when you find out later that you're sensitive to more things in your new place. It's not good to cultivate the habit of running away from problems.

You already mentioned that within 4 months you're leaving, I would manage the situation as best as possible. The idea of spending most of the time outdoors is nice. There are public places for you to work on organizing your life. You can visit friends more often.

Diokine sometimes sleeps in a bed sheet tent, but he does it for the adventure.

If you're able to increase your resistance against your current harsh environment, things will only be smoother once you move and lift this burden.

Try to think in your relatives' terms to understand their behavior and maintain distance if necessary, but I would avoid leaving in conflict. You're more dependent on your parents for mental stability than they're on you, they were here first (as Marco wrote in a different context).

 

[cjm]

An impulsive decision may be in vain when you find out later that you're sensitive to more things in your new place.

+1. Check the temperature of the pot because the greener grass often turns out to be a frying pan.

Just a quick suggestion on the mold-offensive front: Iodine is a safe, broad-spectrum antiseptic that can be aerosolized. Lugol's and povidone (e.g., "Betadine") are pretty cheap. I don't know the effective dose for a room but you could start with a few drops in a diffuser (also relatively cheap) and turn a fan on to increase the spread.

 

[BearWithMe]

It's easy for people to tell you to move, they're not going to be the ones dealing with consequences. We don't even know how bad the situation is and how much of what you're experiencing can be blamed on being susceptible. An impulsive decision may be in vain when you find out later that you're sensitive to more things in your new place. It's not good to cultivate the habit of running away from problems.

You already mentioned that within 4 months you're leaving, I would manage the situation as best as possible. The idea of spending most of the time outdoors is nice. There are public places for you to work on organizing your life. You can visit friends more often.

Diokine sometimes sleeps in a bed sheet tent, but he does it for the adventure.

If you're able to increase your resistance against your current harsh environment, things will only be smoother once you move and lift this burden.

Try to think in your relatives' terms to understand their behavior and maintain distance if necessary, but I would avoid leaving in conflict. You're more dependent on your parents for mental stability than they're on you, they were here first (as Marco wrote in a different context).

You mean consequences like... finding a decent job, living a life on your terms, making your own living, not being dependent on parents you have complicated relationship with, not being poisoned to death by mycotoxins? Damn, you are right, he should stay.

Trying to solve problems that can't be solved, and ruining your life along the way, is not a virtue. It's plain stupid.

Moving away from your parents' house at 20 years is not running away from problems, it is normal.

Moving away from your parents' moldy house is not running away from problems, it is saving your life.

I have so much respect for you Amazoniac, I don't believe you are serious here.

 

[BearWithMe]

Actually the most moral thing in this situation would be buying a new house to your parents, or paying for proper remediation.

But to do that, he first have to take care of himself, start his own career, make his own living. And to do that, he has to move out.

He can't do this when he is sick and jobless.

But apparently you would call that "running away from problems". ffs.

 

[ursidae]

Stop arguing I’m gonna apply for training to become a lifeguard. It’s perfect. Good pay, seasonal job, fresh air, outdoors, accomodation provided. Now I need to go and build up my upper body and do a first aid course. Also, I’m a girl

 

[CLASH]

@ursidae
I lived in a moldy house for 4 years in Miami. Thick black mold covered every vent and airconditioner in the house. I didnt realize how bad it was until I was there for a few months and opened up the central air conditioning ducts to clean them out. After a while it did make me sick.

As in your case I didn't have enough money to just move out so I had to invent other solutions with the resources I had:

1) HEPA filter
2) New air conditioner (I used a window unit and stopped using central air, I duct tapped the vents in my room shut after I put a filter inside them)
3) Dehumidifiers
4) Using fans to recirculate the air out of my direct living quarters. I provided a direct current from the window unit airconditioner to another window in my room that I left cracked open so that the air would flow into my room from the air conditioner, circulate, and then flow out through the other window. I definetly used a lot of electricity but the circulating air seemed to keep my room fresh. Plus I had a HEPA filter on my nightstand and a dehumidifier next to my bed.

I focused these strategies specifically in my bedroom. This was the area I spent the most time if I was in the house. From there I limited my time in the house to sleeping and cooking only. Also, while I'm not suggesting you do this (I dont know your relationship circumstance and it could be problematic), I would often sleep at girlfriends houses a couple nights a week to avoid the mold as well.

 

[Tarmander]

I would mimic much of what @BearWithMe has said about the debilitating effects on the mind from mold. Make it your goal to move.

@Amazoniac also has a good point. It is easy to say move but another thing to do it.

If you need a stop gap. Sleep and hang out by one of these:

Amazon.com: Winix 5500-2 Air Purifier with True HEPA, PlasmaWave and Odor Reducing Washable AOC Carbon Filter: Home & Kitchen

Buy Winix 5500-2 Air Purifier with True HEPA, PlasmaWave and Odor Reducing Washable AOC Carbon Filter: HEPA Air Purifiers - Amazon.com ✓ FREE DELIVERY possible on eligible purchases

amzn.to

It won't solve the problem but will make it a bit better.

Also, borax, vinegar, and bleach suck at removing mold. You need an enzyme toilet bowl cleaner. That will actually strip the mold off the surface. But that may make things worse for awhile.

 

[Amazoniac]

You mean consequences like... finding a decent job, living a life on your terms, making your own living, not being dependent on parents you have complicated relationship with, not being poisoned to death by mycotoxins? Damn, you are right, he should stay.

Trying to solve problems that can't be solved, and ruining your life along the way, is not a virtue. It's plain stupid.

Moving away from your parents' house at 20 years is not running away from problems, it is normal.

Moving away from your parents' moldy house is not running away from problems, it is saving your life.

I have so much respect for you Amazoniac, I don't believe you are serious here.

The suggestion is for her to leave immediately before becoming disabled to death misunderstood by their sick and deranged relatives, apparently the mold already got to them. Does it sound reasonable?

I'm opposing impulsive decisions, not independence. I don't know why you're inserting life guidance commentaries since the thing already mentioned to be leaving its country for university within months. And why ignore that finding a way around it until then can give her time to learn a meaningful skill instead of getting busy with relocation and distracted for a while in a random job?

It's based on an assumption that mold is the underlying problem, but it may very well be just evidencing some weakness that she has. For example, poor sulfur metabolism can make the person sensitive to toxins in the environment. Considering that all goes well in rushing out, what if she ends up in a shithole dorm at university without alternatives?

The palliative road can be endless, next time it might be the plastic lifeguard uniform, EM pollution, the painting of her new dorm, retarded flames in furniture, the lighting of the halls, and so on. For each of these there will be a fanatical person with a frightening tone encouraging desperate measures and precipitated actions.

It likely leads to frustration because it's conditioning to always look for solutions outside and things will never be perfect. The person becomes an evader rather than a solver, there's just no time to assess what's going on and address it properly. Life is shapen according to the best fugues. At some point the person is running away from so many factors that it becomes impractical to manage, which is when the person has no choice but to work on strength and resistance, the realization might occur in Vilcabamba.

 

[ursidae]

I don’t think this is the toxic type of mold but after I sprayed it my nose was inflamed for two days; I started breaking out in aggressive large acne on my cheeks and my nose bled a bit, the same happened to my brother who doesn’t normally get nosebleeds. I also felt like I had a cold. I stay in my room which is the furthest away from the problem room or I go outside. I got a diffuser and borax. I don’t know if I want to use them though since my breathing is fine right now and there’s no symptoms. I’ll probably spend a few weeks of those 4 months at the seaside as a vacation so that would be good. I sent out an email to Red Cross that’s giving the lifeguard courses and certificates as well as calling several numbers. No response. My family convinced me there’s no point since I’m very skinny and appear to be 16 years old with little muscle mass and no one is going to take me seriously at this job. And I’m losing weight again. Even though I’m a very good swimmer that’s the truth honestly. So I’m gonna have to apply for something else. There’s the possibility to work in food delivery (biking) or as a waitress if they’re okay with my ****88 up skin. I’ve had confrontations with almost all my family members and my one friend over the past few days. I realise they don’t respect me because of my maturity level and ability to come up with good arguments in a debate. They said I’ve regressed to the emotional state of a teenager. I need to work on how I communicate and come across because I’m not convincing at all and I’m not going to get anywhere this way. Possibly there’s something up cognitively because I see this type of infantile behaviour in the elderly suffering senile dementia. Regardless I plan to spend the summer trying to get some kind of qualification because it’s high time to grow up and earn money.

 

[BearWithMe]

The suggestion is for her to leave immediately before becoming disabled to death misunderstood by their sick and deranged relatives, apparently the mold already got to them. Does it sound reasonable?

I'm opposing impulsive decisions, not independence. I don't know why you're inserting life guidance commentaries since the thing already mentioned to be leaving its country for university within months. And why ignore that finding a way around it until then can give her time to learn a meaningful skill instead of getting busy with relocation and distracted for a while in a random job?

It's based on an assumption that mold is the underlying problem, but it may very well be just evidencing some weakness that she has. For example, poor sulfur metabolism can make the person sensitive to toxins in the environment. Considering that all goes well in rushing out, what if she ends up in a shithole dorm at university without alternatives?

The palliative road can be endless, next time it might be the plastic lifeguard uniform, EM pollution, the painting of her new dorm, retarded flames in furniture, the lighting of the halls, and so on. For each of these there will be a fanatical person with a frightening tone encouraging desperate measures and precipitated actions.

It likely leads to frustration because it's conditioning to always look for solutions outside and things will never be perfect. The person becomes an evader rather than a solver, there's just no time to assess what's going on and address it properly. Life is shapen according to the best fugues. At some point the person is running away from so many factors that it becomes impractical to manage, which is when the person has no choice but to work on strength and resistance, the realization might occur in Vilcabamba.

Imagine someone put an elephant's foot from Chernobyl into your basement, right under your room. You would get the f*** out of the place as quickly as possible, right?

Imagine someone told you that you are running from your problems, and you should stay another 4 months in that house, and try to fix the damn foot so it won't be putting out 8000 roentgens a hour, or maybe install new filters on your HVAC and open your windows to get some fresh air.

What would you thought about that person?

Toxic mold is as lethal as melted uranium, the death is just a bit slower. Absolutely no exaggeration here.

I can pretty much guarantee that if she stay in that house for another 4 months, she end up not going to the uni. She will be too tired, depressed and unmotivated to go there. Or she will be dropped out quickly as the brain fog makes it impossible to study.

Please, please, please, before giving advice on how to deal with toxic mold, do some research and learn what is that s***t capable of.

 

[Amazoniac]

Imagine someone put an elephant's foot from Chernobyl into your basement, right under your room. You would get the f*** out of the place as quickly as possible, right?

Imagine someone told you that you are running from your problems, and you should stay another 4 months in that house, and try to fix the damn foot so it won't be putting out 8000 roentgens a hour, or maybe install new filters on your HVAC and open your windows to get some fresh air.

What would you thought about that person?

Toxic mold is as lethal as melted uranium, the death is just a bit slower. Absolutely no exaggeration here.

I can pretty much guarantee that if she stay in that house for another 4 months, she end up not going to the uni. She will be too tired, depressed and unmotivated to go there. Or she will be dropped out quickly as the brain fog makes it impossible to study.

Please, please, please, before giving advice on how to deal with toxic mold, do some research and learn what is that s***t capable of.

Mold toxins are possibly one of the mildest challenges that her body is going to endure in the near future. To fit in as freshman, on the first fraternity party she'll be already breaking a cup noodles week and 48 hours without sleep chugging half a liter of vodka, held upside down and waking up later on an alcoholic vomit puddle that's extracting whatever is on the floor, including such toxins.

I would think that the person is a moron, but the fact that I'm one is only a coincidence, there's no encouragement to meditate on mold and ruminate on how bad it is all day long. Keeping oneself occupied working towards a goal should naturally reduce unnecessary exposure.

You don't know what she eats, how she lives, her history, the severity of the contamination, not even her sex. It may be argued that none of it makes a difference for what you're proposing, but how is it possible to weigh the pros and cons without knowing the context? For example, you're assuming that moving right away is the solution, but what if she rushes out of her home in conflict with family, with them being responsible for financing soon her expensive education abroad, spending more than she can afford on a problematic accomodation, discovering new issues at her new place without complete relief of her former symptoms, finding herself in a position of having to accept offers with little criteria, getting distracted from her life projects, the stress of moving without planning leads to a chaotic situation that deteriorates health (she was recently in a 'pretty bad health state', got to be mindful), having to return home meekly, discredited and with her confidence shaken.

It wouldn't surprise me if a motivator is anxiety to start a new phase on the right foot, with a clear mind and skin. Leaving home in an organized way is important to set a stable ground for adulthood, otherwise it can reinforce a sense of lack of control or incompetence. The thing can make lemonade out of lemons and this can lead to growth, but it takes ignorance to assert what's proper for a stranger to do knowing next to nothing about the situation.

Anyway, supporting $ulfur metabolism is important to counteract these toxins. NOW Foods has an acetylcysteine [I know (Terma, 2020)] product containing selenemium and morbydenum, I would consider something along these lines and upping them. Including pyridoxine and consuming these nutrients with collagen isn't a bad idea.
- Deficient Glutathione in the Pathophysiology of Mycotoxin-Related Illness

 

[BearWithMe]

Mold toxins are possibly one of the mildest challenges that her body is going to endure in the near future. [...]

I love you and your posts and have much respect for your knowledge, but you are sooooooooooo wrong on this...

[...] what if she rushes out of her home in conflict with family, with them being responsible for financing soon her expensive education abroad, spending more than she can afford on a problematic accomodation, discovering new issues at her new place without complete relief of her former symptoms, finding herself in a position of having to accept offers with little criteria, getting distracted from her life projects, the stress of moving without planning leads to a chaotic situation that deteriorates health (she was recently in a 'pretty bad health state', got to be mindful), having to return home meekly, discredited and with her confidence shaken. [...]

Come on, I haven't said she should mindlessly rush out without having a place to go and a plan how to survive, while also f*****g up the relationships with her family. You can move quickly without all this happening, you know? It is actually pretty normal and millions of young people are doing exactly this each year. It is called being an adult.

I'm so disappointed with you Amazoniac I thought you are one of the most intelligent and knowledgable members of this forum, and now you are giving wrong advice on topic you know nothing about, and using fallacies to prove your point

 

[BearWithMe]

She can actually frame it in a way she will gain respect from her family. She can say she want to gain more experience, become more independent and maybe learn a language before going to school. That she want to take a short term job abroad for 4 months.

Which parent would get angry for this??

Every sane parent would be very happy for her decision and support her

 

[Amazoniac]

I love you and your posts and have much respect for your knowledge, but you are sooooooooooo wrong on this...


Come on, I haven't said she should mindlessly rush out without having a place to go and a plan how to survive, while also f*****g up the relationships with her family. You can move quickly without all this happening, you know? It is actually pretty normal and millions of young people are doing exactly this each year. It is called being an adult.

I'm so disappointed with you Amazoniac I thought you are one of the most intelligent and knowledgable members of this forum, and now you are giving wrong advice on topic you know nothing about, and using fallacies to prove your point

She can actually frame it in a way she will gain respect from her family. She can say she want to gain more experience, become more independent and maybe learn a language before going to school. That she want to take a short term job abroad for 4 months.

Which parent would get angry for this??

Every sane parent would be very happy for her decision and support her

You've been tapering off the frightening tone of your posts..

Move.

Seriously.

There is no "you can't".

Mold and mycotoxins can't be eliminated. Actually the more you try, the more toxic they become.

I'd rather live under a bridge or in a car than in moldy house.

That's because they are sick and their brains are deranged by mold exposure. A cautionary tale why you should move out ASAP.

Yea, don't be a slave and don't work for free or for pennies. What is even a point of working if it won't cover your basic needs?

The thing is. If you stay in this place any longer, you will get debilitating CFS and when you get debilitating CFS, it's over. At this point, you truly won't be able to move out, you will be trapped and you will die poor and terribly sick. It will be inevitable. Move the f**k out while you still can.

Stop looking for reasons why you can't find a good paying job and just find one. Or get a mediocre one and work on your skills in the meantime to get better job soon. Just do something now.

Covid is not an excuse either. Don't wait for it to end, it likely never will.

It's awesome that you are feeling better at this point. Grab this opportunity NOW and do something IMMEDIATELLY, while you still can.

There will be no better time than now, because the mold will only make you more and more sick over time.

 

[ursidae]

She can actually frame it in a way she will gain respect from her family. She can say she want to gain more experience, become more independent and maybe learn a language before going to school. That she want to take a short term job abroad for 4 months.

Which parent would get angry for this??

Every sane parent would be very happy for her decision and support her

It was definitely a mistake mentioning the mold, it’s become a running joke in my family. I’ve made a list of peaty jobs that I are possible without much prior job experience. Excel skills seems to be a basic requirement for a lot of the better paid jobs so I’m studying that. Do you think there’s anything else to add?

Lifeguard
Food delivery via bike
Postwoman
Ice cream kiosk worker
working on a farm
Park maintenance worker
Window cleaning technician
waitress