NathanK
Member
I think this is an extremely underappreciated response. Very well put. Really hit the nail on the head on numerous points.I think sometimes our hyper focus on our own health can actually be counter-productive and as you have found can lead to even worse health outcomes. IMO the never ending search for a magic pill can lead to excessive self-absorbtion with decreased abilities to care about or relate to others, leading to more mental and physical problems.
As you had mentioned, you have developed a sense of learned helplessness through continually trying to "fix yourself" and failing. RP has said that the cure for this is often just some form of action like getting a new job or taking a vacation.
You are only 19 and are lucky in that you have the flexibility to start anew. Since you have been focused on health for the last 5 years it seems that you may have found an interest that can give you back some drive and ambition if properly channeled. One idea would be to go back to school and focus on a career (or calling) in the health sciences. The key would be trying to focus on how you could help others and not about only yourself. Of course you will want to pick a field that you will be free to act in the best interests of your patients or research without the straight jacket of the medical establishment.
I am sure that this seems overwhelming but if you keep your eye on taking one step at a time it won't feel so impossible. IMO the important thing is just to start doing and stop thinking.
Kudos to Merryweather for giving you a hand/advice. Sounds like he can really relate and has a lot to offer. Listen to him.