Looking for general advice post-pregnancy. Baby development and recovering mother after childbirth.

[Jayvee]

Maybe it's me searching the wrong things on here but I can't find any concise threads for people who have had babies to aid their development in the early stages and take care of the mother during and after childbirth.

Does anyone have any specific tips they have found useful?

My partner is towards the end of her pregnancy so I'm looking for any tips to help the baby develop and my partner recover as quick as possible after childbirth (hormonally and physically). But perhaps it might be good for general childbirth tips for other people who find this thread.

Has anyone found any particular foods (any changes to dietary needs?), supplements, lifestyle changes useful for the baby and mother in the first few months?

Any ideas/pointers here would be MASSIVELY appreciated.

Thanks!

 

[Peatful]

Wonderful questions.

Im short on time but here is what first came to mind.

Your baby is with you and developing now.
Read to her/him now. Talk to him now. Rub him. Sing to him. Soothe him. Rock him. Sunbathe with him. He’s with you- just not in your arms yet.

For your partner- let her eat robustly. If she craves something- I would pay attention to her cravings. Get her out in the sun.

Once baby is here- deep breaths (because the first baby is quite the change) and trust your partner’s motherly instincts.
Don’t read too much. Or listen too much to others advice or experience. This is new miraculous family time together- and the three of you will figure it out.

Just want to add- if you’re not comfortable with your new pediatrician- find another one. You will be spending an odd amount of time there (im in the US); and if you don’t love your MD- seek one you do.

Congratulations.
Babies are a blessing. Children are a gift. And it will only get better and better. I promise.

 

[Peatful]

@catan
@sugarbabe

 

[Aby_2021]

Maybe it's me searching the wrong things on here but I can't find any concise threads for people who have had babies to aid their development in the early stages and take care of the mother during and after childbirth.

Does anyone have any specific tips they have found useful?

My partner is towards the end of her pregnancy so I'm looking for any tips to help the baby develop and my partner recover as quick as possible after childbirth (hormonally and physically). But perhaps it might be good for general childbirth tips for other people who find this thread.

Has anyone found any particular foods (any changes to dietary needs?), supplements, lifestyle changes useful for the baby and mother in the first few months?

Any ideas/pointers here would be MASSIVELY appreciated.

Thanks!

Great questions, and wishing you the best with the baby and your partners recovery

My daughter was born 3 years ago, and she was breastfed until she was almost 2. By the time she was 9 months we started giving her mashed fruits, honey, mashed vegies, well cooked meat with rice (when she was almost 12 months I believe), and so on.

Since then we've been giving her organic grass-fed milk, regular meat & fish, plenty of fruits (she absolutely loves fruits now), boiled carrots, boiled broccoli (once or twice a week), organic eggs, butter, organic cheese, baked potatoes and other peaty stuff, liver (although once in a while). We only use coconut oil or ghee (clarified butter) for cooking.

We hardly ever give her take-out food (BBQ is an exception), and no cereals, pastas, or complex carbs like cakes etc. (occasional exceptions apply)

Thankfully she's super active, taller than most kids her age, and hardly ever gets sick.

I hope this helps, and happy parenting!

 

[BonbonUK]

I've had 2 babies and my recovery with the second was a lot better than the first because I'd learned some things from the first time around. I'd say:

After the birth, make sure she eats regularly, even if she doesn't think she's hungry yet, especially if she's breastfeeding. I found that if my blood sugar got too low, I could get into some really depressive moods in those first few weeks and I often wouldn't feel hungry until after and then experience a horrible blood sugar crash (and terrible mood!)

Don't say anything negative about the childbirth experience until long after she has recovered from it, I had a traumatic delivery with my first and actually had flashbacks for about 4 weeks. I hated being reminded of it, and found it traumatic when people would ask me about it or even make a joke about it (yeah, some people are weird like that, thinking that it's OK to make a joke about your trauma or be like "it's no big deal, you both survived"). Of course everyone's different, she might want to talk about it or have a perfectly fine or even positive experience :) YMMV

Try not to let her feel pressure to lose weight too quickly or get her "body back". With my first baby, the comments about when I'll lose the weight started at around 6 months and I started trying to restrict calories, it was a disaster, my body faught every attempt to reduce calories and I felt terrible unless I was eating plentifully, lots of butter on everything etc.! With my second, I just ignored everyone's comments and ate whatever I wanted Results were the same both times (I had about 10lbs extra to lose, which came off when I stopped breastfeeding) but second time around I felt a lot better because I wasn't trying to diet while also sleep deprived and going through major life changes.

Hope all goes well, babies are a blessing :)

p.s. I should add, when I say ate whatever I wanted, with both babies I was already aware of some Peaty food ideas and was incorporating them, so I generally avoided PUFAs and didn't eat takeout/restaurant foods seed oils etc. but aside from that, didn't restrict calories and paid attention to cravings :)

 

[catan]

For postpartum, rest and eat a lot. My mother had wanted me to follow the strict Chinese tradition of ‘sitting month’, and I thought it sounded ridiculous at first. Stay lying down for a month??

Anyway fast forward to my third child and I think there is a lot of wisdom in resting and not doing too much. My home birth midwife for my third told my husband no stairs for at least a month and don’t let me do things around the house. All I did was eat and nurse baby on demand and he (and other family) did the rest.

For all 3 kids I think I started feeling ‘Normal’ around 6 weeks postpartum.

For food, Chinese tradition prescribes ‘heating foods’... A lot of ginger in the dishes, organ meats, fried food, bone broth, especially fish head soups, a ton of carbs. No cold food and drinks. I think it’s important to eat a lot. I felt like I was never satiated while breastfeeding and was always eating.

One interesting thing is my mom insisted I don’t bathe or wash my hair for a month to avoid ‘wind entering the body’. I felt extremely weak after childbirth and didn’t want to do either for weeks. Sounds gross but it’s what I ended up doing (think I bathed after 2 weeks and hair washing maybe 3-4).

I cried a lot in the weeks and months after childbirth. The hormones, the trauma of childbirth, the discomfort and life changes etc, it was just a lot and overwhelming.

+1 on the comments about not discussing the childbirth unless she wants to, and avoid comments about body.

Best wishes to you and your partner! Such an incredible and precious time.

 

[Jayvee]

Thanks, everyone!

Some great answers. Seems really obvious to not talk about the childbirth but I probably wouldn't of thought that so thank you for that!

I assume just getting sufficient calories and carbs along with rest and support will help her adjust quicker. I was wondering if maybe you have any particular deficiency after childbirth or in order to produce to adequate milk?

I do a lot of the cooking so I'm wondering if their are things I can add or make? (in line with her cravings of course).

 

[Peatful]

Someone mentioned this above- but if you are mindful of the macros- and keep her blood sugar steady- it will help her mood, energy, milk production, etc tremendously.
Shoot for 40/30/30 c/p/f or 50/20/20

 

[Jayvee]

Someone mentioned this above- but if you are mindful of the macros- and keep her blood sugar steady- it will help her mood, energy, milk production, etc tremendously.
Shoot for 40/30/30 c/p/f or 50/20/20

Thanks! Yeah I was thinking something more like the 40/30/30 she instinctively loves her saturated fats and dislikes pufas (without even following Ray's ideas around pufas) which is interesting.

 

[Beastmode]

Maybe it's me searching the wrong things on here but I can't find any concise threads for people who have had babies to aid their development in the early stages and take care of the mother during and after childbirth.

Does anyone have any specific tips they have found useful?

My partner is towards the end of her pregnancy so I'm looking for any tips to help the baby develop and my partner recover as quick as possible after childbirth (hormonally and physically). But perhaps it might be good for general childbirth tips for other people who find this thread.

Has anyone found any particular foods (any changes to dietary needs?), supplements, lifestyle changes useful for the baby and mother in the first few months?

Any ideas/pointers here would be MASSIVELY appreciated.

Thanks!

An immediate source of good , compact energy are homemade milk shakes. My wife drank them like water for the first few weeks (calcium, protein, fat, satiation, etc all in one.)

Vitamin D, progest-e (women's levels can drop drastically after birthing and partly a cause of post pardum depression,) Red or amber lighting for night time feedings, outdoor sun as much as possible for mom and baby (especially early hours) are some that I recall focusing on with my wife.

Also, The Dunstan Baby Language New Parents Course if you want to master some of the behavioral stuff. Learning the sounds, which is really easy, you can detect what they need. Time and energy saver for everyone.

Amazon product ASIN 0553381466View: https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466
is another great one.

All the above might just save your marriage....haha....jk :)

 

[InChristAlone]

Definitely second getting enough food in, especially if there is blood loss. My first birth was a homebirth and I didn't know very much about health so while the birth was great I lost quite a bit of blood afterwards and I had been an undereater so I felt pretty anemic. I had saved my placenta in the freezer and one day I just couldn't go on I cut a chunk off and blended it up in a smoothie. I think I felt better, but honestly that recovery was hard. A lot of fatigue. And then I developed a breast abscess after severe mastitis, I think he had undiagnosed tongue tie and I was pretty engorged with milk. I wish I had a medical grade breast pump because it could have prevented the abscess. Look up Dr. Jack Newman videos for help with breastfeeding, he really shows what a good latch is to prevent this. He also promotes breastfeeding on demand round the clock. Lots of skin to skin time.

My 2nd birth (a waterbirth in a birth center, amazing experience!) I had been drinking raw milk and lots of carbs so I had a much easier time and no extra blood loss. Recovery was way better. And I was right back to caring for my other son within a week, so I didn't even get a chance to just rest all day everyday. That bit me in the butt in the run, I became weaker and weaker over time as I was still breastfeeding my older son, so tandem nursing and barely any help other than on the weekends with my husband. So along with calories, rest is so important for nursing Moms. It took me yrs to recover from the sleep deprivation and low weight. Reminds me how important calories and sleep are. Absolutely number one essential thing for humans, other than just feeling supported. Moms need to feel supported so their fight or flight system isn't constantly activated.

 

[BonbonUK]

For postpartum, rest and eat a lot. My mother had wanted me to follow the strict Chinese tradition of ‘sitting month’, and I thought it sounded ridiculous at first. Stay lying down for a month??

Anyway fast forward to my third child and I think there is a lot of wisdom in resting and not doing too much.

I agree, my husband grew up in Greece and said there was a tradition there that women stay home and rest for 40 days, also not supposed to have visitors I think. I didn't allow visitors for 4 weeks, I just felt too emotionally fragile to handle dealing with people. Some friends and relatives seemed a bit annoyed but they got over it, I just reminded them that babies are more interesting after 1 month old anyway (when they learn to smile and are awake more etc.!).

 

[Theladyk]

I love that you’re asking this question. She’s already off to a great start having your support.

I’d second what others are saying about the first six weeks / forty days. In most cultures traditionally women would be cared for by the community or another woman for that length of time, with their only jobs being to rest and feed their babies. They say “forty days for forty years” - in other words that supporting her in this time, without the pressure to return to society, business, pre-baby routines sets a foundation to carry her for the next forty years. Post partum traditions around the world focus mostly on warm, grounding foods, keeping mama warm, avoiding cold and airiness, not washing hair, lots of skin to skin, belly binding (this is extremely supportive of the stomach muscles and can make her feel held and supported - all you need is a large medi-grip elastic tubular bandage) and lots of rest! Of course, all this should be adjusted to what she needs and feels. She may crave ice cream and want to wash her hair all the time - they’re good guiding principles, but whatever brings her peace is key.

We did hypnobirthing for the labour and found it invaluable. I would HIGHLY recommend doing a course or reading what you can online. It sounds a bit weird but it’s basically using your breath to stay relaxed, so that your blood can flow easily to the muscles and organs where it’s needed (instead of rushing to heart and lungs in fight or flight response), and staying calm so your body can do what it knows to do. Also watching calm births on YouTube to replace all the social conditioning we receive that says birth will be painful and traumatic. While there can be medical emergencies, birth in most cases can be an incredibly peaceful, empowering and beautiful experience.

For breast milk production the most important thing is to feed on demand. Breastmilk works on a supply and demand basis, the more she feeds, the more milk is made. As long as there is lots of time for mum and baby together, and baby has free access to the breast, there should be plenty of milk. Breastfeeding uses an additional 1000-1500 calories a day, so plenty of nourishing foods will help. Just as an aside, mums can get extremely thirsty the second they start to feed. Always amazing to have someone there to bring water, or have a little area set up for breastfeeding where there’s water, something to read and everything she may need at arms reach. Jack Newman is great for videos on latch. This is something we would have watched other women do and would have learnt from observation in the past, and it’s been shown to be a learned process, so watching those videos will be helpful. It’s also good to look out for early hunger signs, like sucking fists, turning head side to side and rooting around. Responding at that time, before baby is really hungry and upset, will help with getting a good latch and keeping milk supply up. If you want to really blow your mind, look up the “breast crawl”. Babies when laid on a mums tummy post birth will
instinctively crawl to the breast (it can take about 3 hours) and latch, and it’s said this can set them up for some success with a good latch.

Interestingly, the more fathers and other carers cuddle the baby, the more their testosterone levels drop and the more oxytocin they produce, bonding them with the baby. Skin to skin and baby wearing in a sling is great when mama is resting or needs a break.

I think all that will set you guys up for an amazing start, but again, always checking in with her and seeing what she needs is vital.

Following those first six weeks so much depends on who your baby ends up being and what their personal needs are. But at least you’ll have a good connection and will have spent lots of time developing your bond and your intuition, and mum will be rested and better prepared for all that lays ahead. My favourite saying to keep in mind is that “when a baby is born, so is a mother”. She will not just be the same person, but with a baby. Having a child rewires and changes the brain, not to mention affecting the hormones, emotional, physical, mental and societal changes. This is dramatic, and recognising that can be important for her and for you. Look up matresence - like adolescence this is a huge time of transition and change for a woman. Rather than looking at newborn mothers as weak, or emotional or sometimes slightly crazy, if we can recognise the huge shift that is going on we can help with lots of compassion and a listening ear as they step into motherhood.

Also, baby led weaning is incredible when Bub is ready for solids.

All the best for the three of you in the coming weeks and months!

 

[aquila2009]

An immediate source of good , compact energy are homemade milk shakes. My wife drank them like water for the first few weeks (calcium, protein, fat, satiation, etc all in one.)

Vitamin D, progest-e (women's levels can drop drastically after birthing and partly a cause of post pardum depression,) Red or amber lighting for night time feedings, outdoor sun as much as possible for mom and baby (especially early hours) are some that I recall focusing on with my wife.

Also, The Dunstan Baby Language New Parents Course if you want to master some of the behavioral stuff. Learning the sounds, which is really easy, you can detect what they need. Time and energy saver for everyone.

Amazon product ASIN 0553381466View: https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466
is another great one.

All the above might just save your marriage....haha....jk :)

How much progesterone did she use?