Kind Of Strange And Long Introduction/seeking Advice

[Nero]

I've been lurking for a short time and I'm signing up so I can view photos and maybe contribute some and take some value.

This is my first post and its kind of long and strange. I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions though that may help me help myself become more like myself again.

I'm a 27 year old male 150 pounds slight abdominal slight chest fat

I've been having some problems for years now. I was wondering if anyone might have some suggestions. I think I repressed stress for a long time and it caused some kind of mental break I can't get out of and alcohol misuse and medications made worse.


When I was 16 I started to smell bad no matter how much I showered and cleaned myself. I was told I smelled like feces, garbage, or "fish from the ocean" this happened almost every day until I was about 20. I'm not sure when it stopped happening because I couldn't smell myself. I do have sense of smell and I can smell my body odor if I sweat too much but I couldn't ever smell the other smells people complained about

I also didn't really start puberty until 18 years old. When I was 17 and started a new job on my first day someone asked "since when do we hire 10 year olds". I had a very hard time even getting hired anywhere and was asked for my ID before most places would give me an application

Another time of stress was being on Parris island for 6 months. I dislocated my patella and was put in a rehab platoon but was never allowed to recover and eventually separated. I felt like I lost my purpose and was a failure.

I broke up with my gf after this and as revenge she made rape stories and abused the legal system to harass me. I had to go to court to defend myself. After it was dismissed by the judge my ex GF made blog posts and inspired men to start harrassing me. This was stressful until I moved away.

I was doing well after that until I broke my ankle. I had surgery. I got depressed and started feeling very odd around this time. I also started meditating because I heard it helped. I started to have feelings like I shouldn't be here and this whole existence is absurd. I wondered how can people be walking around so calmly and not in constant a state of astonishment and terror? I knew they were kind of juvenile thoughts but I kept thinking about things similar to this.

I eventually went to the doctor to be examined because it felt like my **** was leaking clear fluid and I found kind of an extra hole near my anus. He referred me to a psychiatrist without examining me and I started taking Prozac and risperidone that really messed me up more than anything. I was convinced by the dr I was insane for a while and had somehow imagined everything from when I smelled bad. until I talked to someone from high school and asked him and he told me I definitely did have a smell in high school. I had grown breasts from the medication and gained weight from it. I stopped the medication and lost 70 pounds of fat over 2 years.

Now I am here
It's been 2 years without the medicine.

I do not feel helpless I have hope for change. I am feeling a lot better but I am still having problems and what I am doing so far hasn't fixed them yet.

Anhedonia, derealization, low libido, low motivation, fatigue, monotone voice unless I force ups and downs, and when I ejaculate I don't have the feeling of orgasm like I did before 4 years ago.

blood pressure is sometimes high in the morning 135/85 normal temperature.

Diet: Mostly water, coffee, grain fed chicken, grass fed and finished beef, broccoli, spinach, green beans, egg whites, olive oil, grass fed butter. More rarely: Greek yogurt, Tuna, chicken liver, oats, milk, apples, random vegetables, peanut butter.

Supplements: 5,000 iu vitamin d3, 1 mg folic acid, 100mg b6, 50 mg zinc, 1 gram vitamin C

Weightlifting 3-5 times a week. Working and making money helps my motivation. I'm looking forward to starting school for welding and school for my engineering prerequisites.

Does anyone have any suggestions ?

 

[tankasnowgod]

Nero

I've been lurking for a short time and I'm signing up so I can view photos and maybe contribute some and take some value.

This is my first post and warning its kind of long and strange. I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions though that may help me help myself become more like myself again.

I'm a 27 year old male 150 pounds slight abdominal slight chest fat fat 5'11 height American. Italian ancestors

I've been having some problems for years now. I was wondering if anyone might have some suggestions. I think I repressed stress for a long time and it caused some kind of mental break I can't get out of and diet and medications made worse.


When I was 16 I started to smell bad no matter how much I showered and cleaned myself. I was told I smelled like feces, garbage, or "fish from the ocean" this happened almost every day until I was about 20. I'm not sure when it stopped because I couldn't smell myself. I do have smell and I can smell my body odor when I sweat too much but I couldn't smell the other smells.

Enlisted in marine corps but was injured and separated after 6 months. A lot of stress at boot camp 6 months being injured and not being allowed to heal and coming home feeling like a failure and had lost my life purpose.

When I got home first day I broke up with my gf and 3 months after that she made fake rape claims and abused the legal system to harass me. I had no contact w/ her after first day being home and that saved me in courts. When that was dismissed she wrote blogs and manipulated men into physically harassing me. It stopped when I moved away.

I was doing well until I broke my ankle. Had surgery. I got depressed and started feeling very odd around this time. I also started meditating because I heard it helped. I started to have feelings like I shouldn't be here and this whole existence is absurd. How can people be walking around so calmly and not in constant a state of astonishment and terror? I knew they were kind of juvenile thoughts but I kept thinking about things like and similar to this.

I eventually went to the doctor to be examined because it felt like my **** was leaking clear fluid and I found kind of an extra hole near my anus. He referred me to a psychiatrist without examining me and I was put on medications that really messed me up more than anything. I eventually was convinced I was insane for a while and had somehow imagined everything from when I smelled bad. until I talked to someone from high school and he told me I definitely did have a smell. I had grown breasts from the medication and had derealization from it. I stopped the medication and lost 70 pounds of fat over 2 years.

Now I am here
It's been 2 years without the medicine.

I do not feel helpless I have hope for change. I am feeling a lot better but I am still having problems and what I am doing so far hasn't fixed them yet.

Anhedonia, derealization, low libido, low motivation, fatigue, monotone voice unless I force ups and downs, and when I ejaculate I don't have the feeling of orgasm like I did before 4 years ago.

blood pressure is sometimes high in the morning 135/85 normal temperature.

Diet: Mostly water, coffee, grain fed chicken, grass fed and finished beef, broccoli, spinach, green beans, egg whites, olive oil, grass fed butter. More rarely: Greek yogurt, Tuna, chicken liver, oats, milk, apples, random vegetables, peanut butter.

Supplements: 5,000 iu vitamin d3, 1 mg folic acid, 100mg b6, 50 mg zinc, 1 gram vitamin C

Weightlifting 3-5 times a week. Working and making money helps my motivation. I'm looking forward to starting school for welding and school for my engineering prerequisites.

Does anyone have any suggestions ?

Man, that's rough!

It seems like everything revolved around whatever is causing body odor (at least in part). I think, ultimately, some sort of bacteria or pathogen are responsible for this. You might want to do a full iron panel (with both TSAT and Ferritin), as excess body iron can promote bacterial growth. Personally, as I was de-ironing myself, I noticed a reduction in body odor. High iron can affect other things, like mental states. In that vein, I would also look into some of Peat's disinfecting foods, like carrots and mushrooms. Maybe also experiment with activated charcoal and phages at some point.

Diet looks okay. Maybe a bit less sugar and more pufa rich sources than most of us would choose. The only thing I would chastise you about.... EGG WHITES? Dude, eat the yolk! Delicious and nutritious!

If you are still having some mental issues, you could try a lithium supplement. It's been discussed a few times in this forum, oddly, starting in this thread- A Realisation - Why Doesn't Every Teenage Boy Have Prostate Cancer ?

Lastly, look into the benefits of Red Light. That's been my recent obsession here, and I've had some great results. I use both red light devices and the sun.

 

[sladerunner69]

Hmm I am going to have to ask you to expand on this "extra" anus you found. What the heck man?

What it sounds like to me is that you have sufferred from a substantial amount of psychological and physical stress. From boot camp, to psychiatric meds, those are all the kinds of things that can deteriorate your metabolism and lead to the development of long term issues and depression.

So I would recommend making some changes in your diet to primarily increase thyroid function. It looks like you eat high quality natural foods which is a good start. However, you do not seem to be taking in anywhere near enough calcium. Some of us guys like to get 4000mg a day because it helps keep the metabolism strong. So does getting plenty of salt. And of course it does not seem like you are eating any carbohydrates at all, which can severely lower your metabolic function and has been the culprit of many a forum poster's woes.

The basics of the Peat diet are plenty of sugars (primarily from fruits) to support thyroid function, keeping unsaturated fats very low or at zero, eating at least 100g quality protein daily, preferably from dairy or gelatin sources, getting lots of calcium and salt.

Coffee is very beenficial because of its many benefits, namely promoting thyroid, but you will need to maintain sugar intake or it could drop your blood sugar too low and result in a cortisol or serotonin surge (this is bad)

There are plenty of supplements for you toe xperiment with as well, just keep looking around. I would recommend trying aspirin, dhea, and pregnenlone and see how those effect you. Of course starting very small is always smart.

Hope this helps ya! I really do recommend starting with the dietary basics like sugar and coffee, that could vastly improve your wellbeing.

 

[sladerunner69]

Man, that's rough!

It seems like everything revolved around whatever is causing body odor (at least in part). I think, ultimately, some sort of bacteria or pathogen are responsible for this. You might want to do a full iron panel (with both TSAT and Ferritin), as excess body iron can promote bacterial growth. Personally, as I was de-ironing myself, I noticed a reduction in body odor. High iron can affect other things, like mental states. In that vein, I would also look into some of Peat's disinfecting foods, like carrots and mushrooms. Maybe also experiment with activated charcoal and phages at some point.

Diet looks okay. Maybe a bit less sugar and more pufa rich sources than most of us would choose. The only thing I would chastise you about.... EGG WHITES? Dude, eat the yolk! Delicious and nutritious!

If you are still having some mental issues, you could try a lithium supplement. It's been discussed a few times in this forum, oddly, starting in this thread- A Realisation - Why Doesn't Every Teenage Boy Have Prostate Cancer ?

Lastly, look into the benefits of Red Light. That's been my recent obsession here, and I've had some great results. I use both red light devices and the sun.

Good advice on lowering iron and exterminating pathogens.

Less sugar though? He didn't say he was eating any sugar at all... I think his thyroid is shot because he is eating zero carbs like paleo/RAW people do often before eventually coming over to this forum, desperate, because they feel so weak and miserable

 

[tara]

Nero
Hope you can find some useful ideas here.

Diet: Mostly water, coffee, grain fed chicken, grass fed and finished beef, broccoli, spinach, green beans, egg whites, olive oil, grass fed butter. More rarely: Greek yogurt, Tuna, chicken liver, oats, milk, apples, random vegetables, peanut butter.

Not sure from what you write here, not sure how much oats , apples, starchy/sweet vegetables and milk you are eating, but wondering if this is a pretty low in carbohydrates? If you feel like telling, got an estimate of overall calories? Is this typical of what you've been eating for a long time, or is this just your recent diet?

 

[Nero]

.

I'll get those tests as soon as I can. Thanks. Last time I had a blood test I had a high red blood cell count and the platelet sizes were slightly large. I forgot the technical names for this but I was supposed to donate blood and never did. This can't be related can it? I agree about the bacteria as a possibility. I used to think I had TMAU but I'm not sure since it's supposed to be for life idk why it would go away.

Hmm I am going to have to ask you to expand on this "extra" anus you found. What the heck man?

What it sounds like to me is that you have sufferred from a substantial amount of psychological and physical stress. From boot camp, to psychiatric meds, those are all the kinds of things that can deteriorate your metabolism and lead to the development of long term issues and depression.

So I would recommend making some changes in your diet to primarily increase thyroid function. It looks like you eat high quality natural foods which is a good start. However, you do not seem to be taking in anywhere near enough calcium. Some of us guys like to get 4000mg a day because it helps keep the metabolism strong. So does getting plenty of salt. And of course it does not seem like you are eating any carbohydrates at all, which can severely lower your metabolic function and has been the culprit of many a forum poster's woes.

The basics of the Peat diet are plenty of sugars (primarily from fruits) to support thyroid function, keeping unsaturated fats very low or at zero, eating at least 100g quality protein daily, preferably from dairy or gelatin sources, getting lots of calcium and salt.

Coffee is very beenficial because of its many benefits, namely promoting thyroid, but you will need to maintain sugar intake or it could drop your blood sugar too low and result in a cortisol or serotonin surge (this is bad)

There are plenty of supplements for you toe xperiment with as well, just keep looking around. I would recommend trying aspirin, dhea, and pregnenlone and see how those effect you. Of course starting very small is always smart.

Hope this helps ya! I really do recommend starting with the dietary basics like sugar and coffee, that could vastly improve your wellbeing.

This is gross but
The extra hole is outside the anus on the side closest to front of my body. I can't get a Dr to take me seriously and look when I went they sent me to a psychiatrist.
I do feel cortisol and weak metabolism is probable. I've was on a calorie defecit for a while to loose the weight from risperidone

 

[Nero]

I've been on this diet and extreme calorie deficit for about 2 years almost no carbs until recently. The feelings and problems I had and I still have and the fat inspired me to cut them out in the first place 2 or more years ago. I'm not sure about the numbers probably low as 40grams to high as 150 grams carbs. Only from sources I wrote. I never ate bread at all and rarely white rice or any sugar unless from apples or a fruit here or there. I was eating once a day a large meal until I am full and a small one in the morning sometimes. Rarely milk because it hurts my stomach. I've been drinking 6 or more glasses a day the past few days and it's still upsetting my stomach I heard this will stop though. for 2 past years though it's been 0 to 3 glasses a week at most. I'm going to stop eating after dark now also and try the red lights. after reading about that .and I'm making the change now to more sugars and carbs. I'm just scared of gaining weight back so I'm gradually doing it and I was also afraid I might have some kind of bacteria lingering that caused the smell and feeding off sugar. No one has said anything about a smell or gave any body language indicating a smell though for years so I think I'm fine but idk.

 

[tankasnowgod]

Good advice on lowering iron and exterminating pathogens.

Less sugar though? He didn't say he was eating any sugar at all... I think his thyroid is shot because he is eating zero carbs like paleo/RAW people do often before eventually coming over to this forum, desperate, because they feel so weak and miserable

I probably didn't say that right. I meant he was eating less sugar than most of us are eating. He probably would benefit from eating more carbs in general, and more sugary foods.

 

[tankasnowgod]

I'll get those tests as soon as I can. Thanks. Last time I had a blood test I had a high red blood cell count and the platelet sizes were slightly large. I forgot the technical names for this but I was supposed to donate blood and never did. This can't be related can it? I agree about the bacteria as a possibility. I used to think I had TMAU but I'm not sure since it's supposed to be for life idk why it would go away.

It possibly could. That's the one where your blood gets too thick, right? High red blood cells would necessarily mean higher than normal iron (per unit of blood), so that could have an impact. If you have high RBC and high iron stores (certainly a possibility), I could imagine that being doubly problematic.

 

[Matt1951]

Pilonidal cyst would be the extra leakage near the anus. This can be surgically removed. You are not insane. These can heal and reopen over time.
Celiacs can also give off a bad body odor and bad breath.
Add some orange juice to your diet. Try adding yogurt or cheese if you can't tolerate milk.
Maybe add a cola every day.
A ferritin test for iron is around $29. Try to get this tested before deciding to reduce iron.

 

[tara]

I've been on this diet and extreme calorie deficit for about 2 years almost no carbs until recently. The feelings and problems I had and I still have and the fat inspired me to cut them out in the first place 2 or more years ago. I'm not sure about the numbers probably low as 40grams to high as 150 grams carbs. Only from sources I wrote. I never ate bread at all and rarely white rice or any sugar unless from apples or a fruit here or there. I was eating once a day a large meal until I am full and a small one in the morning sometimes. Rarely milk because it hurts my stomach. I've been drinking 6 or more glasses a day the past few days and it's still upsetting my stomach I heard this will stop though. for 2 past years though it's been 0 to 3 glasses a week at most. I'm going to stop eating after dark now also and try the red lights. after reading about that .and I'm making the change now to more sugars and carbs. I'm just scared of gaining weight back so I'm gradually doing it and I was also afraid I might have some kind of bacteria lingering that caused the smell and feeding off sugar. No one has said anything about a smell or gave any body language indicating a smell though for years so I think I'm fine but idk.

Hi, more thoughts...
I do think it's probably worth having a go at incorporating more carbohydrates for fuel.
You may want to add them back in gradually, and watch to see if some agree with you more than others. Peat tends to favour fruit and roots over grains, and well-cooked oats, rice and nixtamalised corn over wheat (and sprouted or slow-leavened wheat if that), because grains tend to have less favorable mineral balance, and gluten can be rough on the gut (more so for some than others). And Peat tends to favour sweet fruits over starchy carbs, but some starchy foods like potatoes have a bit going for them too (good protein, useful minerals), if they agree with you - seems to vary from person to person, possibly depending on personal gut flora.

If you are getting gut distress from milk, I would not keep forcing large amounts of it. Some people do apparently manage to readapt to it, and there is a good chance you may be able to too. You could try either gradually increasing it - eg starting with 1/4 cup a day with meals for a while, then increasing to 1/2 cup etc if it seems to be going it seems to be going OK, and keep gradually increasing from there. Or you could try different forms of milk. Or you could try cheese or greek yogurt or cottage cheese etc, and see if these serve you better.
Stewed apples are great food. May help keep you smelling sweet too. :)
I second Matt's suggestion of orange juice, if you can find oranges or juice of a ripeness that agrees with you.

You can get a bit of an indication of how your metabolism (and thyroid function) is running by monitoring your body temps, and this can also help guide you about whether the changes you make are making a useful difference over time.

One way a body can adapt to undereating, or undereating carbs, is to reduce metabolism, with various consequences throughout the body and brain.

AIUI, with some personal variation, the average mature male needs something like 3000 cals to maintain a healthy metabolism. Sometimes more if they are exceptionally physically active, or have a lot of recovery to do. (This is not directly from Peat.)
My take on it that for most people it is good if a lot of this comes from carbohydrates. Based on stories here, people who have had an extended period on very low carb intake, it seems to sometimes be a bit difficult to readjust back to using it well, though the younger you are the easier recovery is likely to be, so your odds are good.

You can use cronometer or similar to get a rough idea of what nutrition you are getting in your food (but ignore it's restrictive calorie advice - it's not designed for recovery).

Have you begun reading some of Peat's articles or interviews yet? They can take a bit of reading, but I've found them worthwhile. You might start with his his articles on sugar, or thyroid, or whatever looks interesting to you:
http://raypeat.com/articles/

If you want to start out with something easier going, try his interviews:
https://raypeatforum.com/community/categories/ray-peat-resources-quotes.18/

I eventually went to the doctor to be examined because it felt like my **** was leaking clear fluid and I found kind of an extra hole near my anus.

If this is still there, and your regular dr refused to physically look to see the issue, then I'd consider getting another dr. Not just to get help with this, but because if they refuse to see the evidence, then they are not going to be much use for anything.