Kids

Jing

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Feb 18, 2018
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How do you get healthy if you are around kids stressing you out?
 

dreamcatcher

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In what way do they stress you out? My child is very demanding. I try to keep calm and remind myself that children are children and they deserve to grow up in a happy and loving environment and being understood and accepted the way they are. On a long run, they will become emotionally healthy adults.
I try not to react but remain peaceful whenever I can. It requires a certain mindset and compassion. I know it's hard to raise children.
 
OP
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Jing

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Feb 18, 2018
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In what way do they stress you out? My child is very demanding. I try to keep calm and remind myself that children are children and they deserve to grow up in a happy and loving environment and being understood and accepted the way they are. On a long run, they will become emotionally healthy adults.
I try not to react but remain peaceful whenever I can. It requires a certain mindset and compassion. I know it's hard to raise children.
Mostly just noise any noise stresses me out to be honest but kids are loud pretty much all day lol
 

dreamcatcher

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I tell myself that everyday is getting easier..I sometimes listen to relaxing piano music for stress relief on YouTube and that seems to calm my daughter down too.
 
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lollipop

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Increase your metabolic energy and vital energy and keeping internal stress low by eating a nutrient dense Peat diet, exercise like: resistance work, walking, yoga, Qigong, etc., mindfulness/meditation to name a few things that might help.

Sometimes to reason with such wisdom as @Rosie suggested actually needs a fairly high level of energetic health such as metabolic energy (healthy thyroid) and vital/qi energy. It also keeps the nervous system calm in moments of intense stress.
 

Nicole W.

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Hi Jing, I feel you, kids ARE stressful, noisy, demanding, sometimes awful, but also cute, funny, loving, honest, and kind. It totally depends on the day, lol. I’m on the back end of the parenting experience, my kids are young adults now so I thought I would weigh in on this subject since it’s had such a big impact on my health. Just for the record, and I say this in the most loving way possible: raising my kids was a NIGHTMARE. Anything bad that could happen did, they were impossible from the word go and later they came up with the most unbelievable shenanigans as teens. Ugh, I could write a book but I don’t want to defame them for life because I love them too much. It would be a real page turner though! Needless to say, I was the one with THOSE KIDS.
In light of this, the first thing I’d like to say is that parenting is a marathon, not sprint. I’m sure you know this, but if you ramp up over the 19 annoying things they have done that day or any day, the emotional reactions you experience will deteriorate your health quickly. Take it from someone who knows. It’s really important to temper your reactions and pace your emotions. The highs and lows of parenting can be extreme and destructive. The love you feel for them is so deep, that even when little things happen it can take you down like nothing else. I had to train myself to practice some level of indifference to the more minor stuff. This was out of self-preservation and I suggest you do the same. What good is any parent if they are a stressed out mess?
Unfortunately, I disagree with Rosie, it does not get easier and easier. The stressors change but the reality of parenting stress does not. You are often trading one problem for another because they outgrow certain behaviors while adopting new (aggravating) behaviors. Adapting to all this is stressful in itself. A friend once told me “small kids, small problems...big kids, big problems. Never were truer words said, at least in my case...so brace yourself while adopting the hope that nothing too serious will happen as they get older.
That being said, there are things you can do to help yourself. It basically comes down to the “oxygen mask” analogy. Put your mask on first, so you can weather this experience with grace and relative peace of mind. Then you can be the best parent for your brand of kid. It’s imparitive that you put certain “safeguards” in place so that you can function despite the mental, emotional and physical burden of raising children. This differs from parent to parent. Time away from them regularly was one of the tools that got me through. I didn’t have family around to help me but I traded time with other mothers and my husband and I always had a date night every week. Sometimes we could only afford to pay the sitter, so we would just walk around Target or grocery shop and that was fine! We had fun! The point is just to be your old selves, not parents, for a short while.
Another tool that I cultivated over time was stressing to my children regularly that my needs were as important as theirs. Our society is very child focused and this often gives kids the wrong impression of their relative importance in the family. No person is always #1 in the family to the detriment of the others. So when it was time for me to be on the phone, or do work, or to relax after a hard day, or cry because I was sad or stressed, they understood that I too deserved the respect and the opportunity to do that. It’s important that they learn to be as caring of you as you are of them. So don’t wait, start now. In this parenting culture it’s really easy for them to miss out on this important lesson.
The last thing I would suggest is that you devote time, money and energy to cultivating yourself, your own interests. Whatever you have in terms of resources, do it. The experience of parenting can reduce us to one dimensional caregivers and that is no life. That is stressful. So, be a little selfish! Teach them that everyone matters, including you. That means that you live a life outside of them that reflects you as you, not as you the parent. Don’t be left with a shell of your former self after your kids have grown and left. I have seen this soooo many times, with especially mothers...that’s what they call the the “empty nest syndrome” but what it is really is the “empty self” syndrome ...in my opinion. Hope this helps, hang in there...its a long haul!
 

Aymen

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kids are great , especially when they are < 3 years old .
if i had kids , i would play with them everyday , i think they lower the stress hormones , but if they get at age 6 + and go to school , the stress will start because of the responsibility , so you have to try wise solutions to deal with that .
 

dreamcatcher

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Kids are very sensitive and pick up the vibes of their surroundings. If you're feeling stressed, they will reflect that by how behave..it's like catch 22. Nutrition plays a big role too..
What a child experiences in her/his childhood will determine what kind of adult she/he will become.
I think the only solution is to become more patient, calm, understanding and loving as a parent. Children learn about reality by observing the behaviour of others, specially those who spend the most time with them. Their actions and reactions are a reflection of their everyday experiences and that's why it's so crucial for them to grow up in a positive and loving environment. On a long term this would make them become more balanced emotionally..and you would become less stressed.
You can choose how you react every moment..a positive mindset is helpful to lower stress levels..also you must love yourself! Life is a gift and our experiences serve ourselves to become more evolved!

Abusing children verbally causes stress and permanent changes in their brain. Telling a child that he or she is “too sensitive” is common behavior among unloving, unattuned parents since it effectively shifts the responsibility and blame from their behavior to the child’s supposed inadequacies.
Respecting a child’s boundaries in an age-appropriate way, recognizing her need for privacy and for enough room to articulate feelings and thoughts without worrying about reprisal or criticism not only permits a child to be herself but teaches that part of emotional connection involves being respectful of other people’s boundaries.
A self-involved parent who sees her child only as an extension of herself doesn’t, by definition, recognize the child’s boundaries. These children become inveterate pleasers, insecure in themselves, without a real sense of self. They may suffer in adult relationships because they have learned either to armor themselves, mistaking walls for boundaries and becoming avoidant of connection or to be anxious and clingy.
 

fradon

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Sep 23, 2017
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How do you get healthy if you are around kids stressing you out?

if you are sensitive to noise then you may be magnesium deficient

try zinc/mag/ supplementation

also with some folate rich foods.
 

schultz

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Jul 29, 2014
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Sometimes I wear hearing protection when I am inside the house. It cuts the high pitched shrieking noises down a few decibels. My kids get the urge every so often to run around in circles screaming. It makes me happy when they're having fun, assuming they don't go too far and pull hair or something.

Anyway, hearing protection lol. Not the little foam things, but the big headphone looking things.
 

CLASH

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Sep 15, 2017
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Hey kids, want to make a fort.... haha
 

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InChristAlone

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I have a child who pushes my buttons literally every hr, some days it's for hrs at a time. And I still recovered fairly well from the younger yrs of sleep deprivation. I had to develop nervous system regulation. If every little thing my son does ignites me I would be in a very sorry state. I don't get a lot of time away from them so I have to do self care even if they don't want me to. (They still won't let me take naps but I don't trust them alone anyway!).
 

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