Is it really possible to live without fear, indecision, self-doubt, regret, etc?

[Ben.]

Lol maybe in some other lifetime. Definitely not getting any in this one, albeit that's an amount that matches my circumstances.

Try not to enforce this thought. Challenge it with a opposite one, even if its just for the sole reason that you have nothing to loose. even if you think there is no point. If it does not matter it's not gonna hurt right? I am not talking about building false hope but simple bombarding urself and your brain with different thoughts.

I know from my own experience the place your in. It "is" impossible that it could be true. Let me tell you that while im still dwelling in an awfull state myself, i tasted, even if it were just 3-5 days in my life that it CAN be different. And believe me i was dead set to believe that it is not possible. Such moments are so profound, it makes you wonder who that miserable person even was, you can't even relate, you are confident and wonder "is this how life couldve been all along? Is this what i've been missing out on for all this time? Is that why the question "whats wrong with me" haunted me all my life?"

I just couldn't figure out yet how to get into that state again. And believe me if i tell you that that feeling or being like that changes your life more than anything else could. It just has to become the new baseline of your health/personality.
In this state, things that bother you about your body suddenly dont. You don't care because you feel and know your awsome. You see possibilities that you never knew you had. Fears that literally crippled and paralyzed you are not even there to begin with. Thats what people call confidence, but they never actually explain what it is and how to attain it. And its not coming from the gym i can tell you that much, i just know it is tied to health, real health.

There is a reason/cause why your in that "state" (dont know a better word for it) and why your kept there regardless of all the interventions and efforts you've put in there.
Is it psychological thing that goes beyond mommy/daddy/childhood issues? Is it a biological process such as fungi or bacteria/parasites altering your neurotransmitter/brain and keeping you depressed? Or is it the chemicals from our industrialized world that damage every cell in ur body and the unique damage caused by it messed up your hormonal system/brain? I dont know. Hell i wish i could make sense of it.

Men i wish you find a way to get to a proper baseline, i wish i do too. I believe in situations like this one needs support. Finding that is difficult too. It may not comfort you, but you are not alone.

 

[AdoTintor]

Too high protein, too low protein, too many kiwifruit. I don't even know anymore.

well you have kept your sense of humor so thats excellent.

I don't know but if you suffer from anxiety built up over a lifetime of stress as we all have to some degree then you might cnosider resetting it with MDMA - not socially taken - but by recreating the MAPS protocol at home. It resets your anxiety levels back down to childhood levels in one sitting, and as their studies show it lasts. They find its the only effective treatment for the extreme case of anxiety PTSD. Good for the "great reset"

 

[rsandy]

Once you realize that any single of your experiences led you to be the person you are now,and that with out thoses experiences you would not have the same perspective on what have value and what have not,and that you are constantly evolving,and that as long as you do what you want to do when you want to do it,anf when your perspective on what has value and what you want to do change and do your act toward it,you are all goods,there is absolutely no regret to have except the death of someone that you cared about,there is no deadline,there is nothing that you MUST accomplish or you are a failure,either way the life of peoples living a simple life huntings fishing foraging would be worthless,but it isn’t,because all matter is what you give value to according to your thought and experiences,there is no run,there isn’t a golden age of accomplishment between 20 and 30,you can contribute to any domain at any age,your could perceive your acts as valuable and the rest of the word think that you are a stupid and or evil,you could perceive your own acts as bad and worthless and the rest of the word perceive it as good and valuable.so synthesis of my rambling,live according to your experiences and reflexions,do what you wish to do when you wish to do it,if you interest change,don’t hesitate to change your activity’s and passions,cultivate your well being and you’ll radiate your excess energy toward peoples you care about Wich could be the entire word up to a certain point,and you will know from your inner cells,you will feel that you are on the very right direction,Dont let media’s/movies/series/musics influence you to much on what it a successful individual and what’s worth it

What a fantastic post. Respect to you brother.

Even if things seem totally ingrained into your personality and therefore out of reach by any medical intervention whether it be t3 or otherwise, I would argue that your personality is likely a result of both your experience and physiology. For instance before minocylcine I would have said that I would always wake late, feel groggy, and require jacking up on coffee or sugar to get anything done. That was me, totally ingrained character traits. Post minocycline I realise that for most of my life I have been battling my physiology (specifically gut bacteria). Now I wake early, totally clear and refreshed and can be observed serenely performing my daily duties. We are all different and seem to messed up in different ways so this specific lever may not work for you. But there are so many different buttons to press and experiment with and this forum provides and endless stream of ideas...

Love it. Well done bro.

hei said: I have never been favourably surprised by what I could achieve at something and see no signs that this could be different.

Listened to you ,heard you and understood. I take care of cancer patients so and have seen a lot of human suffering and negative attitudes that come from that true suffering and hopelessness , so I am not frivolously or capriciously implying that achieving happiness, balance or growth or peace would be easy for you if you are facing physical pain , mental anguish or disability. Only that it is possible for you to have it , and something we all instinctively want for ourselves. It may indeed require a daunting herculean effort on your part. I just want to sincerely see something good come to you so, make an effort without ceasing. Redirect the huge energy of anger and frustration you may feel in your circumstance and enlist that aggressive energy in going to war against any fears, insecurities and hopelessness. Be relentless in the face of your failures. Hard to attain though it might be in whatever circumstances that I am sorry you are in.

And besides, to keep it at it's most simple essence , the only two options we are presented with are:

1. to struggle to better our reality (or at least accept it) and then find something in it which we can enjoy - which is what living is for
2. to completely give up and bitterly accept failure and hopelessness as the only dismal reality we will ever know. (not really a viable option)

This is the best advice in love I can give you -

Wishing you well,
Robert B.

Beautiful posts from you Robert. Bless you my friend.

Attitude isn't going to unbreak my back, repair my hip, repair my knee, repair my ankle, stop my shoulders being injured, etc etc etc. Don't really see how learning that you lack the physical ability to perform exercise without being injured can be the cause of the injuries that taught you that exercise is too dangerous to try.

I also had very severe injuries, including slipped discs or a 'broken' back. Also couldn't do any exercise not only due to severe injuries, but being a total physical wreckage. Very little of me was functioning.

Began recovering my health through very serious effort, and over 4 years, rehabbed my injuries (ongoing daily process), and now exercise every single day, 30 mins resistance training, 30 mins core work, 30 mins jogging and then a 2-3 hour walk. I did admittedly experience levels of emotional and spiritual pain in life that did break me into a million pieces. I just kept going, relentlessly.

Went from being very, very sick, having a range of issues including chronic insomnia for years (whilst working full-time, yet, that was fun). Truly was on deaths door. It took 4 years of balls to the wall effort with activities, diet, and breathwork. Every. Single. Day. I got better.

What you describe can be overcome, but only if you have grit and determination. You can start from below nothing and end up way above anyone in your world. This only applies to hard workers.

Those who are going to recover will do so. I've seen people come back from everything. There are plenty who will never recover. People add themselves to the list of sad cases who let life overcome them every day. I've seen many such people, tried to help them, and saw them take no action. Adults are responsible for themselves and if they wish to make excuses, the misery that ensues will be their reward.

 

[Nomane Euger]

Obviously the existence of chads who never experience self-doubt in their lives proves that it’s possible to get along just fine without it when you enjoy top-tier health and lifestyle, but that doesn’t say much about whether it’s possible to change if that doesn’t apply to you.
I mean if that’s how you have always been: because of your personal inferiority, doubting yourself so much that it’s almost impossible for you to overcome indecision even after years of thinking about the same thing, and then, after acting basically out of impulse or your because something finally forced you, experiencing regret and (sometimes extreme) stress, that likewise follows you around for years. Like buyer’s remorse, but for practically everything. Deeply ingrained by decades of reinforcement.

it you have not watched « princess mononoke »yet,I highly advice you the watch it,at the hardest moment of my life,in my early 20,this very movie and the sense that I grasp from it is what allowed me to come out of my semi dead vegetating state where I could not walk 4 minutes with out feeling that my 2 legs and lower back were gonna break,and that my mind was an absolutely chaotic state,to my ultimate run for physical and mental well being/performance,À single perspective can trigger the necessary energy into yourself to act until death toward your will of power and joy.

 

[rsandy]

it you have not watched « princess mononoke »yet,I highly advice you the watch it,at the hardest moment of my life,in my early 20,this very movie and the sense that I grasp from it is what allowed me to come out of my semi dead vegetating state where I could not walk 4 minutes with out feeling that my 2 legs and lower back were gonna break,and that my mind was an absolutely chaotic state,to my ultimate run for physical and mental well being/performance,À single perspective can trigger the necessary energy into yourself to act until death toward your will of power and joy.

I have never watched an animated film in my adult life. I watched this film after you recommended it earlier today.

It was powerful.

It reminds of of an old saying: "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to drop dead"

 

[Nomane Euger]

I have never watched an animated film in my adult life. I watched this film after you recommended it earlier today.

It was powerful.

It reminds of of an old saying: "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to drop dead"

Glad you watched it,it is a wonderfull movie,among the most meaningfull i watched,i already watched it when i was younger,but it didnt impact me,when i watched it the second time,i perceived it in a way that echo-ed strongly with my experiences and actual state."Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to drop dead""yes of course getting emprisoned in a negative perspective on any event or element is a vicious circle that will lead to even more suffering and negativity,and distord your perspectives to the point where your propency to peirceive any element as negative will increase

 

[GelatinGoblin]

Princess Mononoke is great

 

[Nomane Euger]

Princess Mononoke is great

GOAT animated film

 

[Ignoramus]

Stuff like this restores my faith

 

[hei]

It resets your anxiety levels back down to childhood levels in one sitting

So they stay the same? Or they go to some idealised childhood state?
Seriously, I have always been like this. Essentially nonfunctional for as long as I can remember. Always feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I also had very severe injuries, including slipped discs or a 'broken' back. Also couldn't do any exercise not only due to severe injuries, but being a total physical wreckage. Very little of me was functioning.

I have a collapsed vertebra with 75% loss of anterior height. Can't rehab bone back into existence, and anyway every last attempt at activity ends with the addition of some new injury or else I would still be doing whatever didn't end in a new injury. How is it some sort of moral failure that my body can't withstand any activity whatsoever and just gets injured over and over and over and over? You can't work through injuries when you keep accumulating more. There's nothing to even work with. I don't have an athletic bone in my body, never had the slightest hint of athletic ability whatsoever.

Try not to enforce this thought. Challenge it with a opposite one, even if its just for the sole reason that you have nothing to loose. even if you think there is no point. If it does not matter it's not gonna hurt right? I am not talking about building false hope but simple bombarding urself and your brain with different thoughts.

I know from my own experience the place your in. It "is" impossible that it could be true. Let me tell you that while im still dwelling in an awfull state myself, i tasted, even if it were just 3-5 days in my life that it CAN be different. And believe me i was dead set to believe that it is not possible. Such moments are so profound, it makes you wonder who that miserable person even was, you can't even relate, you are confident and wonder "is this how life couldve been all along? Is this what i've been missing out on for all this time? Is that why the question "whats wrong with me" haunted me all my life?"

I just couldn't figure out yet how to get into that state again. And believe me if i tell you that that feeling or being like that changes your life more than anything else could. It just has to become the new baseline of your health/personality.
In this state, things that bother you about your body suddenly dont. You don't care because you feel and know your awsome. You see possibilities that you never knew you had. Fears that literally crippled and paralyzed you are not even there to begin with. Thats what people call confidence, but they never actually explain what it is and how to attain it. And its not coming from the gym i can tell you that much, i just know it is tied to health, real health.

There is a reason/cause why your in that "state" (dont know a better word for it) and why your kept there regardless of all the interventions and efforts you've put in there.
Is it psychological thing that goes beyond mommy/daddy/childhood issues? Is it a biological process such as fungi or bacteria/parasites altering your neurotransmitter/brain and keeping you depressed? Or is it the chemicals from our industrialized world that damage every cell in ur body and the unique damage caused by it messed up your hormonal system/brain? I dont know. Hell i wish i could make sense of it.

Men i wish you find a way to get to a proper baseline, i wish i do too. I believe in situations like this one needs support. Finding that is difficult too. It may not comfort you, but you are not alone.

I think it comes from having a kind of fundamental competence at life, or in my case, incompetence. There are, I assume, people who just don't make a titanic mess of everything they touch and end up just being relatively comfortable doing whatever it is they do. Even if I induced that feeling by way of some chemical means it wouldn't last long (as long as I still had the ability to learn) because real-life conditions would immediately start correcting the faulty beliefs.

 

[rsandy]

And yet many people have come back from infinitely worse. People have come back from being pretty much in their grave.



You will have every excuse in the book, no matter what we say, you will have something to blame and hence guarantee failure. There is no desire to change within you, hence, it's unlikely you ever will.

Most people are here because they want to be healthy and make something of their life. You've made your choice.

 

[hei]

I don't even know what you're talking about, who am I blaming for my problems? How does what you think I "blame" for my problems stop my body from deteriorating even more? Were those people who got better still getting even worse when they were getting better? Why are chads so obsessed with assigning "blame" for things?

 

[Ben.]

So they stay the same? Or they go to some idealised childhood state?
Seriously, I have always been like this. Essentially nonfunctional for as long as I can remember. Always feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I have a collapsed vertebra with 75% loss of anterior height. Can't rehab bone back into existence, and anyway every last attempt at activity ends with the addition of some new injury or else I would still be doing whatever didn't end in a new injury. How is it some sort of moral failure that my body can't withstand any activity whatsoever and just gets injured over and over and over and over? You can't work through injuries when you keep accumulating more. There's nothing to even work with. I don't have an athletic bone in my body, never had the slightest hint of athletic ability whatsoever.

I think it comes from having a kind of fundamental competence at life, or in my case, incompetence. There are, I assume, people who just don't make a titanic mess of everything they touch and end up just being relatively comfortable doing whatever it is they do. Even if I induced that feeling by way of some chemical means it wouldn't last long (as long as I still had the ability to learn) because real-life conditions would immediately start correcting the faulty beliefs.

I feel like reading a recording of my own brain/thoughts ....


The competence you are talking about is something i desire and have been missing all my life. And people who got it along the way or were born with it are the same once bragging or being smartasses. Not even one person would question your opinion and thoughts if they would've gone even a fracture of the time you've been alive in your shoes. If the state of mind you are in (which i became to believe to be a prison rather than a destiny caused by something that is not your fault) is something others would be able to even comprehend, believe me half the people being smartasses might have already ended themself. They can't even fathom what that is. It's not a matter/issue of choice, i know that.

Everytime i tried to improve, everytime effort was put in, no matter how much money was spent, how much physical discipline i came up with, no matter how many books i read, emotional training, psychotherapy, all the diets w/e there is that one can do, i tell you i've been "corrected" by these real life conditions every god damn time. Every success is met with an even greater setback. And now im at the worst point in my life.


And while i can't force my ideas or beliefs onto you or others, if ... if you just would've been outside of this incompetent situation, this lifedraining, crippling and paralyzing state that literally makes every even remotely logical intervention meaningless or even invisible, then believe me ... not for one second would you think that you are cursed, or that this is something that you just have to life with, because that can't be it. That couldn't be all there is ... all that was. I dont care if this text is getting wierder or cringy, This can't be all there is. We are NOT BORN to just die and suffer and not experience even once the taste of the good life. Of competence, pride, confidence and energy.

And if it realy was all there ever was, by w/e morals you were raised, whatever values you have, w/e you plan to do to yourself/with yourself - maybe for someone else you could achieve something meaningful, make a life better, show love and compasion even if it is just for the very last time, the last minutes before all of this ***t is finally over.

I have a collapsed vertebra with 75% loss of anterior height. Can't rehab bone back into existence,

My knowledge of regeneration tissue is slim to none, have you heard of shawn stevenson? This guy had a bone disease and managed to get himself out of it regenerating his spine.

Not sure if that can be helpfull to you or if it is even true, but you might want to check his story for what its worth. (maybe jump forward to minute 16:00)

 

[GelatinGoblin]

So they stay the same? Or they go to some idealised childhood state?
Seriously, I have always been like this. Essentially nonfunctional for as long as I can remember. Always feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I have a collapsed vertebra with 75% loss of anterior height. Can't rehab bone back into existence, and anyway every last attempt at activity ends with the addition of some new injury or else I would still be doing whatever didn't end in a new injury. How is it some sort of moral failure that my body can't withstand any activity whatsoever and just gets injured over and over and over and over? You can't work through injuries when you keep accumulating more. There's nothing to even work with. I don't have an athletic bone in my body, never had the slightest hint of athletic ability whatsoever.

I think it comes from having a kind of fundamental competence at life, or in my case, incompetence. There are, I assume, people who just don't make a titanic mess of everything they touch and end up just being relatively comfortable doing whatever it is they do. Even if I induced that feeling by way of some chemical means it wouldn't last long (as long as I still had the ability to learn) because real-life conditions would immediately start correcting the faulty beliefs.

Sounds like learned helplessness. Overall you sound like me about a year ago, I suspect High Serotonin state.

 

[hei]

I feel like reading a recording of my own brain/thoughts ....


The competence you are talking about is something i desire and have been missing all my life. And people who got it along the way or were born with it are the same once bragging or being smartasses. Not even one person would question your opinion and thoughts if they would've gone even a fracture of the time you've been alive in your shoes. If the state of mind you are in (which i became to believe to be a prison rather than a destiny caused by something that is not your fault) is something others would be able to even comprehend, believe me half the people being smartasses might have already ended themself. They can't even fathom what that is. It's not a matter/issue of choice, i know that.

Everytime i tried to improve, everytime effort was put in, no matter how much money was spent, how much physical discipline i came up with, no matter how many books i read, emotional training, psychotherapy, all the diets w/e there is that one can do, i tell you i've been "corrected" by these real life conditions every god damn time. Every success is met with an even greater setback. And now im at the worst point in my life.


And while i can't force my ideas or beliefs onto you or others, if ... if you just would've been outside of this incompetent situation, this lifedraining, crippling and paralyzing state that literally makes every even remotely logical intervention meaningless or even invisible, then believe me ... not for one second would you think that you are cursed, or that this is something that you just have to life with, because that can't be it. That couldn't be all there is ... all that was. I dont care if this text is getting wierder or cringy, This can't be all there is. We are NOT BORN to just die and suffer and not experience even once the taste of the good life. Of competence, pride, confidence and energy.

And if it realy was all there ever was, by w/e morals you were raised, whatever values you have, w/e you plan to do to yourself/with yourself - maybe for someone else you could achieve something meaningful, make a life better, show love and compasion even if it is just for the very last time, the last minutes before all of this ***t is finally over.



My knowledge of regeneration tissue is slim to none, have you heard of shawn stevenson? This guy had a bone disease and managed to get himself out of it regenerating his spine.

Not sure if that can be helpfull to you or if it is even true, but you might want to check his story for what its worth. (maybe jump forward to minute 16:00)

I have never heard of that guy but I will watch the video. I think it's a bit different having some disease than just breaking a bone in an accident (would think the disease is worse but maybe can at least be stopped if you catch it in time). My injury is old too so the bone is well and truly mature and not going to be any more malleable than any other bone.

Anyway, I'm really sorry that you also experience this, although you are a much better poster than me so really you should at least give yourself some credit for that. Do you think that having experienced an ideal state gives you something to work towards? Perhaps you would be able to notice incremental improvements and feel that you're on the right track, rather than like you're fumbling around in the dark.

Sounds like learned helplessness. Overall you sound like me about a year ago, I suspect High Serotonin state.

Had you been like that for a long time? Did you escape it?

 

[Ben.]

Hey man,

How are you holding up? It eluded me that you asked me a question there, sorry for that.

Do you think that having experienced an ideal state gives you something to work towards? Perhaps you would be able to notice incremental improvements and feel that you're on the right track, rather than like you're fumbling around in the dark.

The experience probably was the reason why i am still fighting and trying stuff i'd say. But as with many things its a constant up and downhill battle seemingly coming out of nowhere. I often felt like being on the right track, just to be dissapointed and proven wrong. Symptoms both internally and visibly realy can put a person down especially thoose from the chronic variety. I came to the conclusion that there isn't much other option anymore other than fumbling around in the dark trying to find the needle in the haystack.

I have never heard of that guy but I will watch the video. I think it's a bit different having some disease than just breaking a bone in an accident (would think the disease is worse but maybe can at least be stopped if you catch it in time). My injury is old too so the bone is well and truly mature and not going to be any more malleable than any other bone.

Did you do something as of late? One of thoose swimming/water excercises? Not that i can tell you that bone growth is easy, but its a living organ nonetheless from my understanding. Things like eating a bone building nutritional diet (thinking calcium, vit d/k), certain enzymes for a while to break up scar tissues, carefully selected excercises in combination with some heat/red light therapy is something that would come to mind. But idk how to put these into a protocoll.

---

There is this company selling algea calcium supplements claiming it increases bone growth in humans. Seems like they are selfmade studies so i guess caution is advised.
They claim stuff like :

"After the 12 months, the lowest average BMD increase was 1.3% — from the AlgaeCal Plus and 1,000 IUs of vitamin D3 group.
And the highest average BMD increase group? Well, they enjoyed a stunning 4.10% increase in healthy, new bone"

"When compared to their baseline BMD at the beginning of the study, these women on average increased BMD a stunning 7.3% over seven years. And that 7.3% was consistent — the women enjoyed an average 1.04% increase each year."

---

Theres also this other guy claiming that his device helps people with Osteopenia or Osteoporosis claiming stuff like:

"UP TO 14% INCREASES IN BMD OVER 12 MONTHS BETWEEN DEXA SCANS"

"The greatest effect on bone strength and health is the result of high-impact activity, and hundreds of studies have confirmed this, even identifying the minimum dose of force required through bone as being over 4 times bodyweight in the hip joint .
As adults, impact becomes associated with injury therefore adults intentionally avoid impact and thus even those who engage in exercise often fail to maintain bone health."

" The use of osteogenic devices like the ones used at xxx have shown promising results. Though there are only 4 studies on the specific application of osteogenic loading devices, the underlying principle is one of the most fundamental of human physiology (mechanotransduction) and as loads seen with osteogenic use are far beyond the minimum established trigger for building bone, the results seen are beyond that of other treatments. Bone density has been shown to improve 7.34% between the spine and hip results over one year of treatment(11). Further, Hunte and researchers found bone density gains of over 14% in 6 months of treatment(12). Further research shows statistical congruency with a larger sample (n=2300) for functional bone performance gains and BMD.

Osteogenic loading is not for everyone. People with un-medicated hypertension, muscular dystrophy, or the lack of proper pain-free movement to perform the osteogenic loading protocol should consider other options. However this being said, as there are no adverse effects most can try it first, and learn about how it works for them without compromising their health."

---

I am not trying to advertise this stuff, just trowhing ideas out there which may be worth investigating.
Now i guess you cant realy load your spine, but perhaps you can figure a way out to incoorperate these things in your efforts?

My mother has a realy bad case of vertebra gliding and is in 24/7 pain if she lies down on her back or sits. She also has to go into full **** to grass squat positions inbetween walks to get rid of the pain temporarily. She started to do hourly walks/hiking on the nearby mountain the past years. Her pain reduced substantiously. Can't say it is cured but the progress is remarkable.

 

[GelatinGoblin]

Had you been like that for a long time? Did you escape it?

I'm escaping it. The right way out of it is a narrow path

 

[GelatinGoblin]

I really see myself in you OP, I have used exact combination of words you use before, it makes me feel interest, fear and slight hope. I don't want to derail anything but we are all heading towards strength, stability and life.

 

[GelatinGoblin]

Rotator Cuff upper back stabilisers:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sg6MKFYEQg

Lower back, Scoliosis, deep lower back muscles (don't know proper terminology):

View: https://youtu.be/4BOTvaRaDjI

13 упражнений из йоги для исправления сколиоза Google translate in the browser works well. Selected exercises from this.

I don't know exactly of your current situation OP but it is something

 

[hei]

Hey man,

How are you holding up? It eluded me that you asked me a question there, sorry for that.



The experience probably was the reason why i am still fighting and trying stuff i'd say. But as with many things its a constant up and downhill battle seemingly coming out of nowhere. I often felt like being on the right track, just to be dissapointed and proven wrong. Symptoms both internally and visibly realy can put a person down especially thoose from the chronic variety. I came to the conclusion that there isn't much other option anymore other than fumbling around in the dark trying to find the needle in the haystack.



Did you do something as of late? One of thoose swimming/water excercises? Not that i can tell you that bone growth is easy, but its a living organ nonetheless from my understanding. Things like eating a bone building nutritional diet (thinking calcium, vit d/k), certain enzymes for a while to break up scar tissues, carefully selected excercises in combination with some heat/red light therapy is something that would come to mind. But idk how to put these into a protocoll.

---

There is this company selling algea calcium supplements claiming it increases bone growth in humans. Seems like they are selfmade studies so i guess caution is advised.
They claim stuff like :

"After the 12 months, the lowest average BMD increase was 1.3% — from the AlgaeCal Plus and 1,000 IUs of vitamin D3 group.
And the highest average BMD increase group? Well, they enjoyed a stunning 4.10% increase in healthy, new bone"

"When compared to their baseline BMD at the beginning of the study, these women on average increased BMD a stunning 7.3% over seven years. And that 7.3% was consistent — the women enjoyed an average 1.04% increase each year."

---

Theres also this other guy claiming that his device helps people with Osteopenia or Osteoporosis claiming stuff like:

"UP TO 14% INCREASES IN BMD OVER 12 MONTHS BETWEEN DEXA SCANS"

"The greatest effect on bone strength and health is the result of high-impact activity, and hundreds of studies have confirmed this, even identifying the minimum dose of force required through bone as being over 4 times bodyweight in the hip joint .
As adults, impact becomes associated with injury therefore adults intentionally avoid impact and thus even those who engage in exercise often fail to maintain bone health."

" The use of osteogenic devices like the ones used at xxx have shown promising results. Though there are only 4 studies on the specific application of osteogenic loading devices, the underlying principle is one of the most fundamental of human physiology (mechanotransduction) and as loads seen with osteogenic use are far beyond the minimum established trigger for building bone, the results seen are beyond that of other treatments. Bone density has been shown to improve 7.34% between the spine and hip results over one year of treatment(11). Further, Hunte and researchers found bone density gains of over 14% in 6 months of treatment(12). Further research shows statistical congruency with a larger sample (n=2300) for functional bone performance gains and BMD.

Osteogenic loading is not for everyone. People with un-medicated hypertension, muscular dystrophy, or the lack of proper pain-free movement to perform the osteogenic loading protocol should consider other options. However this being said, as there are no adverse effects most can try it first, and learn about how it works for them without compromising their health."

---

I am not trying to advertise this stuff, just trowhing ideas out there which may be worth investigating.
Now i guess you cant realy load your spine, but perhaps you can figure a way out to incoorperate these things in your efforts?

My mother has a realy bad case of vertebra gliding and is in 24/7 pain if she lies down on her back or sits. She also has to go into full **** to grass squat positions inbetween walks to get rid of the pain temporarily. She started to do hourly walks/hiking on the nearby mountain the past years. Her pain reduced substantiously. Can't say it is cured but the progress is remarkable.

I have to admit I haven't really done anything. Like I said, I'm pretty much paralysed by indecision no matter what. I have been walking to work out of necessity and it doesn't really feel good. I tried to lift some weights just because the muscle loss/weakness was getting too bad and even working my way up from 6kg to 26kg over a month was too much and now I'm in pain all the time again. Also hurt my shoulder again ?, my ankle still hurts from nearly 3 months ago, my hip still hurts when I walk, sometimes my knees hurt too. I think the truth really is that my body is beyond repair, only I don't really know what to make of that. Very hard not to ruminate when you can feel it all the time.

After that other post before I tried to think about what I really want and there just isn't anything. Over time I just wrote off the stuff that for sure won't happen or I know for sure that I can't do, and gradually I've found that there's nothing left. I never expected to be pining for the good old days when I merely had a broken back, muscle aches, and a torn meniscus.

Rotator Cuff upper back stabilisers:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sg6MKFYEQg

Lower back, Scoliosis, deep lower back muscles (don't know proper terminology):

View: https://youtu.be/4BOTvaRaDjI

13 упражнений из йоги для исправления сколиоза Google translate in the browser works well. Selected exercises from this.

I don't know exactly of your current situation OP but it is something

Lol, years ago I tried doing part of the first one, namely the shoulder rotation thing, and doing one single rep made both my shoulders hurt for months.

I really see myself in you OP, I have used exact combination of words you use before, it makes me feel interest, fear and slight hope. I don't want to derail anything but we are all heading towards strength, stability and life.

Really hope that's the case for you but for sure things only get worse for me. Whenever things get worse the best-case scenario seems to be that they stabilise at that level, leaving room to get worse again in the future.