Is Having A Wife Peaty?

Teres

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Creating a family is normal. Doing that under a contract - not necessarily.
 
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Peatogenic

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You can change together and grow to appreciate your differences.

Appreciating differences would be the cardinal rule. But if there are other issues that arise, as alluded to by other posters here, I don't think it's necessarily a selection fault.
 

LUH 3417

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Appreciating differences would be the cardinal rule. But if there are other issues that arise, as alluded to by other posters here, I don't think it's necessarily a selection fault.
Issues will arise. Conflict opens the possibility for growth and self understanding. I think avoiding conflict is a symptom of helplessness. When you trust that everything is capable of being worked through, you don’t have to project “what if” fears onto the future. Maybe the relationship won’t last. Okay, well, at least you learned something.
 

Peatogenic

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Issues will arise. Conflict opens the possibility for growth and self understanding. I think avoiding conflict is a symptom of helplessness. When you trust that everything is capable of being worked through, you don’t have to project “what if” fears onto the future. Maybe the relationship won’t last. Okay, well, at least you learned something.

Maybe it's particular experiences coming through but I think there are things that can't be worked through sometimes, and walking away is not avoiding conflict. I agree that sometimes things don't last, for the betterment of each.
 

LUH 3417

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Maybe it's particular experiences coming through but I think there are things that can't be worked through sometimes, and walking away is not avoiding conflict. I agree that sometimes things don't last, for the betterment of each.
I agree that walking away is sometimes best. I think letting previous relationship experiences paint present ones is what can ruin a strong attraction. When you project what someone else did to you on someone new, it’s an easy way to blur a connection into goodbye. I think it’s important to be careful of negative emotions that come up in romantic relationships, and to be able to discern whether it is residual childhood material or not.
 

Peatogenic

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I agree that walking away is sometimes best. I think letting previous relationship experiences paint present ones is what can ruin a strong attraction. When you project what someone else did to you on someone new, it’s an easy way to blur a connection into goodbye. I think it’s important to be careful of negative emotions that come up in romantic relationships, and to be able to discern whether it is residual childhood material or not.

Agreed....again, I had a particular experience where trauma was used as an accusation to explain my walking away....which is why I'm emphasizing what I am. Trauma, itself, can create self doubt about a decision to walk away.
 

DaveFoster

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As awkward as it is for me to admit it, I've been concluding the same. I've held such fear of getting with the wrong person or it not working out, but it feels kind of moot now....and it definitely is built on doctrines/Creeds/custom....when you think about it, it's kind of messed up to have a forever person....it seems that it would require a loss of autonomy on both parts. Now what a next-level partnership would look like is more difficult to grasp.
It depends on what you want. If you desire a woman, what the Greeks called eros, then you will both instinctively converge to one another, and not merely physically. There's a kind of completeness in the union of the two. An intellectualized, or worse still, legalized love destroys desire.
 

Waremu

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In my view, no. At least not in todays world in the west and most of the world. A big part of 'Peatism' is minimizing stress in life.

If one looks at marriage objectively and not through an emotional lens, they will find that for the most part, marriage today is mostly risk and little to no reward --- at least for the man, usually. Marriage laws are just skewed so much against you if your wife decides to divorce that you'll be financially ruined for a very long time, on average. And it is even worse if you have kids.

I look at it the same way I look at the risk to reward of operating a business or making an investment. If I got with a business partner to go into business together, where we both own half of the business, but I put most of the money up front and take on most of the risk, and they put little money up with much less risk, and said that under the condition they ever want to leave the business, not only can they take their 50% share of the business, but also take 50% of my share in the business, and while running the business expect me to cover 75% of the costs instead of 50%, then I would tell them no, they're insane, and go find someone else to go into business with. Yet, that is pretty much what marriage is in this day and age for most guys. Little benefit and more risk than reward.

That was looking at it from a financial and financial-stress related angle, objectively. Now personally speaking, as far as emotional stress, peace of mind, and soul go, marriage doesn't benefit me in the long run either. I have a lot of experience with relationships. Never had a problem picking up women, and I honestly feel like I have seen it all. And even though the relationship can start out great at first, it eventually fades with time and interest is lost, and becomes more stressful to me. I am also naturally an introvert and highly value my peace of mind, time alone, mental clarity, and personal growth and reflection. I like to pursue things with more purpose than just having my life revolve around women I meet. No matter what, it seems that in relationships women tend to get in the way more with my own personal growth and time I like to have alone. They always tend to get jealous that I like to spend time on myself/alone and on other things and not more time on them. I just feel happier and less stressed when in no committed relationships. And not to mention how much money I save by not blowing it on them, as most guys do. I think most men don't understand female and male biology and dynamics/differences and it works against them in relationships. Too many men strive for female validation and that controls their lives and that is a very sad and stressful place to be, IMO. But of course it takes a lot of experience and wisdom to know and understand the female and male dynamics so it usually doesn't come to most men, in my experience. In my experience, I think the truth of how things are many men would find depressing, and perhaps subconsciously men eventually and slowly find this out deep down, but they cannot quite put all the puzzle pieces together and when contemplation within that dark realm attempted, they fearfully run from it as it causes them to question many hard things about themselves as well, so they must burry it and cover up things that make them feel better, like the concept of 'romantic love', and finding 'the one', and other fairy tale type stuff.

With all that said, I think marriage can work, under certain circumstances and for certain types of people, but that also a very complex issue in of itself, IMO.
 
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LUH 3417

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It depends on what you want. If you desire a woman, what the Greeks called eros, then you will both instinctively converge to one another, and not merely physically. There's a kind of completeness in the union of the two. An intellectualized, or worse still, legalized love destroys desire.
Do you mean to say soul mates are teleological
 

DaveFoster

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Do you mean to say soul mates are teleological
Actually, no. Ideally, desire births from being rather than becoming; it resembles a state of natural intoxication. Speaking of intoxication, excessive alcohol does increase the libido but unfortunately interrupts a normal sexual ritual, which often leads to regret following coitus.
 

LUH 3417

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Actually, no. Ideally, desire births from being rather than becoming; it resembles a state of natural intoxication. Speaking of intoxication, excessive alcohol does increase the libido but unfortunately interrupts a normal sexual ritual, which often leads to regret following coitus.
How is being different from becoming?
 

DaveFoster

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How is being different from becoming?
Becoming entails a negation of itself. If you become, then you cannot be. The result of becoming is being. Becoming relies on a temporal nature, and being derives from immortal, superseding and spiritual aspects. The feminine becomes, whereas the masculine is. The cyclical period of death and rebirth often appears alongside maternal figures, as with goddesses of the harvest, fertility and "Earth mother," as with Demeter, Ceres and so on, as well as goddesses of the hunt, moon, night and Nature, as with Artemis, Diana, Dali, Sedna, Skaði and others. The masculine being has no death or birth; it represents the immortal sun and sky, as with the gods Zeus, Apollo, Helios and so on. The masculine does not die or change, and therefore it cannot become anything. Man seeks to cease becoming and enter into being.
 

LUH 3417

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Becoming entails a negation of itself. If you become, then you cannot be. The result of becoming is being. Becoming relies on a temporal nature, and being derives from immortal, superseding and spiritual aspects. The feminine becomes, whereas the masculine is. The cyclical period of death and rebirth often appears alongside maternal figures, as with goddesses of the harvest, fertility and "Earth mother," as with Demeter, Ceres and so on, as well as goddesses of the hunt, moon, night and Nature, as with Artemis, Diana, Dali, Sedna, Skaði and others. The masculine being has no death or birth; it represents the immortal sun and sky, as with the gods Zeus, Apollo, Helios and so on. The masculine does not die or change, and therefore it cannot become anything. Man seeks to cease becoming and enter into being.
Mater-ial. Mother matter, atom and eve.
 

DaveFoster

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Mater-ial. Mother matter, atom and eve.
Yes, very close. "Adam" literally means "one formed from the earth." Similarly, the Latin "humanus" relates to the word "humus," which itself translates to "earth, ground or soil." "Eve" means "giver of life." As the root of material, the Latin "materia" means "earth" or "wood." Artemis, the goddesses of the hunt, which entails animal death, also governed the forests.
 

LUH 3417

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Yes, very close. "Adam" literally means "one formed from the earth." Similarly, the Latin "humanus" relates to the word "humus," which itself translates to "earth, ground or soil." "Eve" means "giver of life." As the root of material, the Latin "materia" means "earth" or "wood." Artemis, the goddesses of the hunt, which entails animal death, also governed the forests.
Also, atman and eternal soul. I imagine this sort of thinking (archetypal) being rooted in the ideal of the universal mind.
 

Inspired

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Complicated question. Finding THE right woman is hard. So many women feel right........but are not going to be the one.

Most people don't seem to get it right, statistically.
 

Risingfire

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Peat gives horrible advice about certain social structures. He's basically a communist. Take heed of his advice on food and the body.


Also, there is no such thing as the right woman. Finding the most compatible might be the best advice if you're looking to get married.
 

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