Is Having A Wife Peaty?

[jb116]

I don’t believe peat has a wife that would be kinda hypocritical. Peat has implied that marriage is a bad thing and he saysit comes from the property mentality. You perform a ceremony recognized by the state, get a certificate, wear rings that show that you “belong” to someone, that you’re spoken for, ....so unpeaty. And Like peat cares whether it’s “masculine” or “alpha” or not lol

Peat didn't imply marriage was bad. He said a lot of people have "property mentality" when it comes to marriage or relationships. That's saying something else. And he is absolutely right about that.

Making your own decisions based on how it makes you feel and your emotional well-being is Peaty, whatever that decision is in this case.

 

[NFF]

Longevity! Get married dudes:

"A major survey of 127,545 American adults found that married men are healthier than men who were never married or whose marriages ended in divorce or widowhood. Men who have marital partners also live longer than men without spouses; men who marry after age 25 get more protection than those who tie the knot at a younger age, and the longer a man stays married, the greater his survival advantage over his unmarried peers."
Marriage and men's health - Harvard Health

 

[fradon]

Is it ok to settle and get married, or does it affect our inherent manliness?
Should we keep striving to collect as many girls as possible and be constantly on the hunt like a hungry wolf?

Milk, OJ, sugar and many girlfriends a year = the ultimate manly man?

at this time marriage is bankrupt...too many laws against the man if things go wrong.

 

[Energizer]

Longevity! Get married dudes:

"A major survey of 127,545 American adults found that married men are healthier than men who were never married or whose marriages ended in divorce or widowhood. Men who have marital partners also live longer than men without spouses; men who marry after age 25 get more protection than those who tie the knot at a younger age, and the longer a man stays married, the greater his survival advantage over his unmarried peers."
Marriage and men's health - Harvard Health

I interpreted this to mean men in relationships tend to be healthier than bachelor males, not that marriage is the source of this necessarily. The author of the study seems to be suffering from confirmation bias, I would've liked to have seen the data on men in long term relationships (perhaps it would be roughly the same as married men).

 

[goodandevil]

I don’t believe peat has a wife that would be kinda hypocritical. Peat has implied that marriage is a bad thing and he saysit comes from the property mentality. You perform a ceremony recognized by the state, get a certificate, wear rings that show that you “belong” to someone, that you’re spoken for, ....so unpeaty. And Like peat cares whether it’s “masculine” or “alpha” or not lol

I think he was talking about monogamy.

 

[ilikecats]

@goodandevil i don’t think so because I’ve seen the original quote and I remember him using the word marriage. Davefoster misquoted him slightly on this subject in another thread (using monogamy instead of marriage) and I asked him to clarify and he confirmed that the original statement was about marriage. But if he does feel that way about monogamy (which he might?) I’m sure he’s not a fan of marriage lol. I guess you can have an open marriage or be “swingers” though..,

 

[ilikecats]

@goodandevil here’s the thread Ecclesiastes And The "Property Mentality" Dave fixed it though. Dave features a very nice peat quote at the end that I think is closely related to this whole subject.

 

[goodandevil]

@goodandevil here’s the thread Ecclesiastes And The "Property Mentality" Dave fixed it though. Dave features a very nice peat quote at the end that I think is closely related to this whole subject.

Maybe he meant marriage as endorsed by the state, they're the ones that have usually controlled and ordained it.

 

[bk_]

Marriage was the single worst mistake I ever made, it added phenomenal stress to my life which effected absolutely everything including my health (hence why I'm here). It turned my life upside down. Avoid marriage at all costs no matter what it's not worth the burden, the loss of time, the emotional bondage, baggage, and stress. I was not desperate for marriage or relationships and waited until I was around 30. I stupidly thought that if I pick the right person, work on improving myself, and work hard on it than everything would be okay and avoid the pitfalls...

You stand to lose everything and you won't gain one iota of happiness I promise you that.

If you can learn to be happy on your own no marriage/partner in the universe can add a drop to that happiness, but they stand to take a lot of it away. In the 21st century machines wash dishes/clothes, food is ready to order, and you can hire maids to come every now and then to clean the house with all the money you save being single. Forget marriage it will only make you more stressed, have less free time, less freedom, and be poorer. Only friends and family can you truly enjoy being around and then spend long periods of time on your own when you need it, whereas in marriage you are stuck with this person 24/7.

Just be yourself and play your video games and enjoy life and see your friends and family and work on your talents and passions and be free!

 

[InChristAlone]

Marriage is awesome in my view. I got to have two kids I adore and we do life together because I get to be their sole caretaker and my husband works to provide for us. Did he get the short end of the stick? In some ways maybe, if he were only working for himself he'd have lots of money to buy stuff he wants but in the end money doesn't buy happiness and he has his hobbies still being married. And gets to come home to his hot wife . Plus if you can keep the romance up in the bedroom you will always have someone to f*** who will also do your laundry.

 

[LUH 3417]

Marriage was the single worst mistake I ever made, it added phenomenal stress to my life which effected absolutely everything including my health (hence why I'm here). It turned my life upside down. Avoid marriage at all costs no matter what it's not worth the burden, the loss of time, the emotional bondage, baggage, and stress. I was not desperate for marriage or relationships and waited until I was around 30. I stupidly thought that if I pick the right person, work on improving myself, and work hard on it than everything would be okay and avoid the pitfalls...

You stand to lose everything and you won't gain one iota of happiness I promise you that.

If you can learn to be happy on your own no marriage/partner in the universe can add a drop to that happiness, but they stand to take a lot of it away. In the 21st century machines wash dishes/clothes, food is ready to order, and you can hire maids to come every now and then to clean the house with all the money you save being single. Forget marriage it will only make you more stressed, have less free time, less freedom, and be poorer. Only friends and family can you truly enjoy being around and then spend long periods of time on your own when you need it, whereas in marriage you are stuck with this person 24/7.

Just be yourself and play your video games and enjoy life and see your friends and family and work on your talents and passions and be free!

Home cooked food > grub hub

 

[Cirion]

Only if it is someone that adds value to your life and doesn't take away from your freedom, hobbies, plans for life, and also cares about their health etc. I fell for someone completely wrong for me, and like BK said, really messed me up, luckily I got out of it before actually getting married (was just about to though). Even still, it's taken me over a year to recover from the train wreck to my health that caused. So, I can understand why BK is bitter, and it's cliché, but not everyone is like that. If we're honest with each other there are countless signs someone is wrong for you long before it goes bad. This was the case for me, which I ignored.

Saying "marriage" is for betas is trying to paint a very broad brush. Are there marriages that people shouldn't be in? Yes, plenty of them, but not all of them. The problem is that too many people get desperate and settle for someone that is less than a perfect match for them values-wise. I know, because I did it. I'm now in absolutely no rush, with my #1 goal being regain my health, and when I do start the dating game again, plan to take my time and only spend time/effort on people who share the same values and don't detract from my life and my goals. In fact marriage I now believe is one of the most alpha things a man can and should do, once they've established their own life though. I think this is where many men go wrong. They get married way too young, before they know what they want out of life.

If she lowers your stress hormones, it sure is. By the way, nofap / no sex / no porn increases your testosterone alot more than having sex everyday. But having a gf / wife that lowers your stress hormones is better deal and probably provides better hormonal boost overall. But if you find banging different chicks every week lowers your stress, then go for it.

BTW the solution to this dilemma is simple - Karezza. I plan to practice Karezza with my next serious relationship, in order to reap the benefits of nofap AND being in a relationship. Best of both worlds. A lot of women look at you funny when you talk about this, but I've already tried it with one person who had an open mind and she loved it. I won't go into TMI but suffice it to say, she had no problems being satisfied with it (which was one of my concerns!)

I realized I hated how I felt with traditional sex. Especially after extended sessions. Extreme laziness, fatigue, no motivation.

 

[InChristAlone]

Only if it is someone that adds value to your life and doesn't take away from your freedom, hobbies, plans for life, and also cares about their health etc. I fell for someone completely wrong for me, and like BK said, really messed me up, luckily I got out of it before actually getting married (was just about to though). Even still, it's taken me over a year to recover from the train wreck to my health that caused. So, I can understand why BK is bitter, and it's cliché, but not everyone is like that. If we're honest with each other there are countless signs someone is wrong for you long before it goes bad. This was the case for me, which I ignored.

Saying "marriage" is for betas is trying to paint a very broad brush. Are there marriages that people shouldn't be in? Yes, plenty of them, but not all of them. The problem is that too many people get desperate and settle for someone that is less than a perfect match for them values-wise. I know, because I did it. I'm now in absolutely no rush, with my #1 goal being regain my health, and when I do start the dating game again, plan to take my time and only spend time/effort on people who share the same values and don't detract from my life and my goals. In fact marriage I now believe is one of the most alpha things a man can and should do, once they've established their own life though. I think this is where many men go wrong. They get married way too young, before they know what they want out of life.



BTW the solution to this dilemma is simple - Karezza. I plan to practice Karezza with my next serious relationship, in order to reap the benefits of nofap AND being in a relationship. Best of both worlds. A lot of women look at you funny when you talk about this, but I've already tried it with one person who had an open mind and she loved it. I won't go into TMI but suffice it to say, she had no problems being satisfied with it (which was one of my concerns!)

I realized I hated how I felt with traditional sex. Especially after extended sessions. Extreme laziness, fatigue, no motivation.

That sounds really sensual. What about the woman? Can she orgasm?? I mean because woman can have multiple orgasms without losing anything.

 

[Cirion]

That sounds really sensual. What about the woman? Can she orgasm?? I mean because woman can have multiple orgasms without losing anything.

Someone new to the concept usually confuse Karezza for "orgasm not allowed/permitted". More accurately, its "orgasm is not the goal and if it happens no biggie but there's not a huge push to make that happen", its more of a relaxing and bonding experience IMO too which is another benefit of it. Some more hardcore Karezzer's might not EVER allow orgasms whereas some other people may let themselves (and many times, its outside of your control too lol). So it's more of a philosophy than a strict practice. Moving from performance based to a more relaxing experience. I would probably consider myself somewhere in the middle. I think expecting someone to NEVER orgasm is kind of unrealistic! Plus, if you want kids, you have to now and then.

Funnily enough my two concerns I had with Karezza both turned out to be unfounded - I thought I would finish too quickly, and I thought that she would not. Well, the end result was I actually did not orgasm once in the 20-30 minute time span (but don't get me wrong, it still felt excellent) but she did several times (I don't remember the exact number but I want to say 3 times). I definitely did not expect that! Of course like I said, orgasm is not the goal, so even if she didn't finish, that would be OK as long as she enjoyed it.

 

[InChristAlone]

Someone new to the concept usually confuse Karezza for "orgasm not allowed/permitted". More accurately, its "orgasm is not the goal and if it happens no biggie but there's not a huge push to make that happen", its more of a relaxing and bonding experience IMO too which is another benefit of it. Some more hardcore Karezzer's might not EVER allow orgasms whereas some other people may let themselves (and many times, its outside of your control too lol). So it's more of a philosophy than a strict practice. Moving from performance based to a more relaxing experience. I would probably consider myself somewhere in the middle. I think expecting someone to NEVER orgasm is kind of unrealistic! Plus, if you want kids, you have to now and then.

Funnily enough my two concerns I had with Karezza both turned out to be unfounded - I thought I would finish too quickly, and I thought that she would not. Well, the end result was I actually did not orgasm once in the 20-30 minute time span (but don't get me wrong, it still felt excellent) but she did several times (I don't remember the exact number but I want to say 3 times). I definitely did not expect that! Of course like I said, orgasm is not the goal, so even if she didn't finish, that would be OK as long as she enjoyed it.

I like the idea of just being initmate with someone with no pressure to finish. And obviously after 10 yrs marriage we have had sex without one otr the other orgasming. But typically my partner wants to. He says that if he goes too long without his balls feel like they will explode. Or there's too much tension. I have felt this as a woman too, if I go too long without then I can't help but get off just to ease the tension. But it is amazing when you do build up that tension.

 

[Cirion]

I like the idea of just being initmate with someone with no pressure to finish. And obviously after 10 yrs marriage we have had sex without one otr the other orgasming. But typically my partner wants to. He says that if he goes too long without his balls feel like they will explode. Or there's too much tension. I have felt this as a woman too, if I go too long without then I can't help but get off just to ease the tension. But it is amazing when you do build up that tension.

Really that's all it is. It's really up to the couple to decide how they want to implement it. There's no rule saying that you can't finish if you feel you really want/need to. Yeah I know that feeling lol. The morning after the karezza session I had a lot of built up tension myself, and couldn't help but get some tension release. I think as a male it's only really damaging hormonally if you go completely overboard with it and do it way too much.

 

[DaveFoster]

Dr. Peat directly addressed monogamy, that is a contractual lifelong sexual arrangement, as an extension of the property mentality. Here's the full quote.

Walden Pond: ...I'd be interested to find out what you think about monogamy in human relationships. Do you think, for example, that to commit to a theoretically life-long contract of sexual exclusivity is to stifle our true nature in a potentially harmful way? Monogamous, long-lasting relationships are generally held up as the model in this domain, with anything else usually considered as a failure or a perversity. Is it right that the sacrifices inherent in the commitment of monogamy should be held in such esteem?

Ray: I think it’s based on the property mentality

 

[Such_Saturation]

I think marriage is a spook in Peatland, but at the same time, if you can trick your body into thinking that the partner is always "new", you can have a win-win situation. Obviously this is not really easy.

 

[Cirion]

@Such_Saturation this is why I believe Karezza is especially valuable for long term relationships. You can only spice things up in LTR's so much, eventually you will have tried everything and nothing will be novel, Karezza is the only logical thing to do at that point... at least in my opinion. At least for me, a partner becomes 100x more interesting to me if I haven't orgasm'd like 10 times in the past week, even if I've been with that person for a while. Try going for a week or two without sex and then see if you haven't got renewed attraction to your LTR.

I think the only way traditional sex can increase androgens as a male is if you are promiscuous as some here have already hinted at. I heard about one guy who doubled his testosterone after a sex-filled visit to Thailand w/ a bunch of very attractive hookers.

 

[LUH 3417]

I think marriage is a spook in Peatland, but at the same time, if you can trick your body into thinking that the partner is always "new", you can have a win-win situation. Obviously this is not really easy.

How do you trick your body into thinking the partner is new?