ignore

[Tarmander]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

Sooo....what? You don't think she should want to be with that guy? Or you want to be that guy? Orrr you want to be with that girl? Are you asking for help? What is going on here?

 

[Dutchie]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

You forgot #4:

- There are quite some Bimbo's out there and you're in the 'unfortunate' situation of having one as your colleague.

Most women aren't like this,keep that in mind.

 

[narouz]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

My surmise, you, is that you are struggling with a faulty premise.
A romantic worldview about females--
that they are, in a way, better than males.
(I'm assuming you're a male...)

"Better" in the sense
of not operating out of ego and sexuality.

My experience in the area
is both sexes are about equally driven by those forces.

 

[you]

....

....

 

[Tarmander]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

Sooo....what? You don't think she should want to be with that guy? Or you want to be that guy? Orrr you want to be with that girl? Are you asking for help? What is going on here?

That I'm f***ed and there's nothing I can do because I was f***ed from birth due to
being born an average man (worthless disposable cannon fodder) instead of average
female or hot male.

Okay...well...what's your point? Sounds like you have accepted your lot in life.

 

[you]

....

....

 

[narouz]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

ANY woman can go out and have sex with hot guys for free RIGHT NOW.

Yes, what you're getting at can be a struggle for some males.
An average-looking, say, woman can bed an unlimited number of men.
While an average-looking and otherwise average guy is more limited
Limited sheerly by physical ability to perform, for one thing.

So let's say an average-looking male and an average-looking female are in a relationship.
If the average-looking woman is so inclined
(highly valuing ability to attract multiple male sex partners),
the average-looking woman will almost always "beat" the average-looking guy by a mile.
So this can cause some inequities in the minds of the average-looking couple,
in terms of how they value themselves--sexual attractiveness, etc.

Of course this kinda points back unfavorably at males:
that they will "**** anything with a skirt" (the old-fashioned saying).
The chicken or the egg?

 

[XPlus]

Re: ....

Snap chat

 

[BenPatrick]

Re: ....

Why the deletion of the thread dude? I'll post what I had written anyway, even if it looks weird out of context.

-

I've had my share of experiences like that. Unfortunately, I don't mean laying 19 chicks in a week. But the feeling you're talking about.

The way I see it is like this. Everyone's made some progress in life, towards his or her own goals, finding peace, whatever you want to call it. The people that are further along, seem more stable, fun, that give off the "I've had so much fun, I'm no longer needy- I can be happy with or without you as a mate" type if vibe. Obviously everybody wants to be with someone who seems like they've got, even if only subconsciously you realize it, more to offer you than you have to offer them. When you see someone who you know is much further behind you in terms of psychosocial/physical/spiritual/personality development, and they've show an interest in you first, it's not very likely to be reciprocated in yourself, at least in my experience. For instance, I'm drawn to complete strangers that seem like they'd have such a cool backstory, and seem mysterious and alluring in a way that makes me feel drawn like I would be to a cool new video game when I was 12. The girls (or guys) usually have a comfortable nature that's very easy going, and low neurotic tendencies, an openness to trying new things, etc.

I think focusing on a way to get to that point, while completely putting relationships on the back burner, is what leads to being one of those "guys girls want to be with, regardless of x." You have to learn how to find fulfillment in your own life, through your own lens, and truly not want or need the girls (in the way most guys think they do) to be happy. Only then will others see you as you see the players- full of spunk, non caring, seemingly fun to be around, spontaneous, rude and fun and all the other characteristics that people desperately crave in this culture.

On the other hand, the only way I ever came to that conclusion was from being in relationships, and I was lucky enough to be in one where I was definitely the one who was lacking in life experiences and personality and a sense of self. I got to live with a girl that was full of life, vigor, and so much spirit that it permeated my being and forever changed me once the relationship ended. However, during the relationship, i can look back and see that I was sort of clingy, didn't know much about what it meant to be a responsible adult, and ultimately it drove us apart because she was definitely in a teacher, mentor type role when she was still too young to ever have to bear that burden..

I believe most people get to experience both positions (the one that's further along, more experienced- and the one that is in the learning, student position, and that will probably be more in love than the other person) as his or her life progresses, and the relationships that are formed by two people who are perfectly content with themselves, always hungry for what life has to offer; who both have something diverse and interesting to bring to the table, and know how to stay open minded while preserving their sense of self.. Those are the end goal, satisfying for the rest of your life type of relationships. The rest should be viewed as valuable anyway, as they are experiences and examples that help to shape you into someone who is capable of a lasting desire to share your life with someone.

 

[Katty]

Re: ....

Couple thoughts.

1) You and this woman seem to have different values and/or world views (not that yours is better and hers is worse, or yours is worse and hers is better. Just different). There will always be people with different values, but also plenty with similar values. Your interaction with this woman caused you depression, so it seems it would be helpful to find women and friends whose values more closely align with yours. Obviously you won't be able to entirely avoid people with different views, but having the friends and support with similar views won't make you harp so much when you come across others.

2) I don't think calling this woman a bimbo is helpful here. No need to use derogatory language to put someone down for making different choices. We shouldn't shame women who are motivated by sex. Also, I don't know if it's accurate to say most women aren't like that- not sure studies have been done on that. At most I think we can say there are other women who have different values than this particular woman's.

3) Back to the OP- you admitted to engaging in unkind behavior with this woman. The two of you were laughing at a man she deemed unattractive who had the gall to ask her out. I think it's self-explanatory why this behavior is unkind. If you don't want to feel depressed, maybe you should find people who engage in uplifting behavior, as opposed to behavior that denigrates others.

 

[you]

Re: ....

The way I see it is like this. Everyone's made some progress in life, towards his or her own goals, finding peace, whatever you want to call it. The people that are further along, seem more stable, fun, that give off the "I've had so much fun, I'm no longer needy- I can be happy with or without you as a mate" type if vibe. Obviously everybody wants to be with someone who seems like they've got, even if only subconsciously you realize it, more to offer you than you have to offer them. When you see someone who you know is much further behind you in terms of psychosocial/physical/spiritual/personality development, and they've show an interest in you first, it's not very likely to be reciprocated in yourself, at least in my experience. For instance, I'm drawn to complete strangers that seem like they'd have such a cool backstory, and seem mysterious and alluring in a way that makes me feel drawn like I would be to a cool new video game when I was 12. The girls (or guys) usually have a comfortable nature that's very easy going, and low neurotic tendencies, an openness to trying new things, etc.

I think focusing on a way to get to that point, while completely putting relationships on the back burner, is what leads to being one of those "guys girls want to be with, regardless of x." You have to learn how to find fulfillment in your own life, through your own lens, and truly not want or need the girls (in the way most guys think they do) to be happy. Only then will others see you as you see the players- full of spunk, non caring, seemingly fun to be around, spontaneous, rude and fun and all the other characteristics that people desperately crave in this culture.

Coping.

 

[Onehumin]

Re: ....

oh i get it, your a guy.. you want to play with your friend and she is passing you over for an X who is having the time of his life and she still wants him. well maybe he is the true stud for her, numero uno and stud number two is decent but not numero uno.

the only way you could feel this way is because your attached to her and she aint picking you. close or no?
at any rate perhaps you need to find out about the real studs diet.
is he full of Peat or not? perhaps he has a few pointers for you and the rest of us.
excuse me, how many women in the world? I'm sure you can find one that matches your needs.
peace out

 

[GAF]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

"The person who cares the least gets the most" - best advice I ever got from a dude in a bar.

Stop Caring. Stop Trying. Start Having Fun.

 

[pboy]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

first off dude, I'm gonna post one thing to hopefully shed some light on all our topics about how pathetic you are. Have you never had sexual encounter with an attractive girl? Until you have it seems like the only thing life is meant for, after words, a few weeks later, its just life again, nothing much changes other than the fact you are more experienced. As for that other topic about the big attractive dude, first of all are you gay? just saying, second of all, it doesn't mean much that people look at others. I'm sure you checked out half the girls you saw. Third off, attractiveness is not something you are bestowed with, its a representation of your character and make up and how much life myelination you've put towards higher things, including your thoughts. That guy, if he was the Adonis you speak of, is probably a decent dude and has some level or morals and standards, hes not just some rat bastard. Your energy and appearance is like a hologram of your wiring. So if you have a major problem with yourself you need to change your life. Its obvious you are just a whiner and have no real virtues. If you have virtues and standards and a good heart, people are attracted to you even without being 6 6 230 or whatever. Its a pull that comes out of the ethers, its not just with the eyes. All of this is going to pass over your head because I can tell your the type of person who refuses to acknowledge fault and just like millions of other dudes, assumes the gym is your key to attractiveness, genetics and luck and how you were born are all that matter...same as people saying people who earn things are just lucky. You wouldn't have a clue, life is a much more beautiful thing if you care to look and try and aspire to actually be worthy. Ask yourself something....just say for a day you were given a look you wanted...why would any girl want to be with you? Who are you? Why would anyone want to be around you? Are you interesting, are you funny, are you smart, are you brave, are you compassionate, are you tough, are you able to hold to your virtues and whats right in face of huge obstacles and doubt and fear? What makes you worthy of getting the presence of people in general, let alone attractive girls. A second thing is, many girls look attractive with make up and done up but really aren't that attractive at all. The same thing applies to them, if they aren't actually having good qualities, their real feel and attraction isn't even good. You can tell in peoples touch, a lot of times 'attractive' girls, slutty or just immature girls, are actually not that sensual, and it isn't even that good when you're through with them. Ive felt much more satisfied waking up next to a girl I felt hear tto heart with, who was just clean and sweet, than girls all done up at parties, really, and those are the ones that last. So basically, that dude might get one nighters that aren't even satisfying,t he next day people all wake up in their suffering bodies with ignorant mind and souls, the only thing that everyone is looking for is real bliss within, because of who they are and how they feel, ultimately not needing sex, if anything once you feel that way within, its like you are sharing a gift with people, you aren't trying to lust from them, as you clearly are.

And this is the main kicker, anyone who's constipated or has basically any tension in the gut area, which comes ultimately from the energy of guilt, ignorance isn't a pass, is always lustful, and basically looking for sex as a way to take a metaphorical ***t, which it never actually does, aka why the next day or right when they're done, its like...same old hell, same old ***t. Again, based on all you write, you wouldn't have a clue. Stop being a b**** and spreading toxic energy, no offense man, I'm sure theres people that already like you and wanna see you happy. I suggest becoming a person people want to actually be around, things fall in place. You are deluding yourself as to what the end goal is and how everything works because you are hypertensive and constipated and have no real vitrues or qualities and feel terrible in your body because of this. Clean up your life, and I don't mean in the typical mainstream sense, I mean in your soul's sense. I'm not trying to be harsh, and I'm sure you do have some parts that are good about you, I'm just trying to shed light

 

[Nicholas]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

first off dude, I'm gonna post one thing to hopefully shed some light on all our topics about how pathetic you are. Have you never had sexual encounter with an attractive girl? Until you have it seems like the only thing life is meant for, after words, a few weeks later, its just life again, nothing much changes other than the fact you are more experienced. As for that other topic about the big attractive dude, first of all are you gay? just saying, second of all, it doesn't mean much that people look at others. I'm sure you checked out half the girls you saw. Third off, attractiveness is not something you are bestowed with, its a representation of your character and make up and how much life myelination you've put towards higher things, including your thoughts. That guy, if he was the Adonis you speak of, is probably a decent dude and has some level or morals and standards, hes not just some rat bastard. Your energy and appearance is like a hologram of your wiring. So if you have a major problem with yourself you need to change your life. Its obvious you are just a whiner and have no real virtues. If you have virtues and standards and a good heart, people are attracted to you even without being 6 6 230 or whatever. Its a pull that comes out of the ethers, its not just with the eyes. All of this is going to pass over your head because I can tell your the type of person who refuses to acknowledge fault and just like millions of other dudes, assumes the gym is your key to attractiveness, genetics and luck and how you were born are all that matter...same as people saying people who earn things are just lucky. You wouldn't have a clue, life is a much more beautiful thing if you care to look and try and aspire to actually be worthy. Ask yourself something....just say for a day you were given a look you wanted...why would any girl want to be with you? Who are you? Why would anyone want to be around you? Are you interesting, are you funny, are you smart, are you brave, are you compassionate, are you tough, are you able to hold to your virtues and whats right in face of huge obstacles and doubt and fear? What makes you worthy of getting the presence of people in general, let alone attractive girls. A second thing is, many girls look attractive with make up and done up but really aren't that attractive at all. The same thing applies to them, if they aren't actually having good qualities, their real feel and attraction isn't even good. You can tell in peoples touch, a lot of times 'attractive' girls, slutty or just immature girls, are actually not that sensual, and it isn't even that good when you're through with them. Ive felt much more satisfied waking up next to a girl I felt hear tto heart with, who was just clean and sweet, than girls all done up at parties, really, and those are the ones that last. So basically, that dude might get one nighters that aren't even satisfying,t he next day people all wake up in their suffering bodies with ignorant mind and souls, the only thing that everyone is looking for is real bliss within, because of who they are and how they feel, ultimately not needing sex, if anything once you feel that way within, its like you are sharing a gift with people, you aren't trying to lust from them, as you clearly are.

And this is the main kicker, anyone who's constipated or has basically any tension in the gut area, which comes ultimately from the energy of guilt, ignorance isn't a pass, is always lustful, and basically looking for sex as a way to take a metaphorical s***, which it never actually does, aka why the next day or right when they're done, its like...same old hell, same old s***. Again, based on all you write, you wouldn't have a clue. Stop being a b**** and spreading toxic energy, no offense man, I'm sure theres people that already like you and wanna see you happy. I suggest becoming a person people want to actually be around, things fall in place. You are deluding yourself as to what the end goal is and how everything works because you are hypertensive and constipated and have no real vitrues or qualities and feel terrible in your body because of this. Clean up your life, and I don't mean in the typical mainstream sense, I mean in your soul's sense. I'm not trying to be harsh, and I'm sure you do have some parts that are good about you, I'm just trying to shed light

nobody is born with virtues or is naturally virtuous. we are all naturally bent towards evil, lust, pride.

 

[pboy]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

not me, although ive always taken note of that since I was able to think and speak and first went to school, most people do have those tendencies. That's a pretty sad attitude and harboring it will take you to the grave with nothing but regret and suffering, I suggest trying to do something about it

 

[Kasper]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

nobody is born with virtues or is naturally virtuous. we are all naturally bent towards evil, lust, pride.

assuming everyone is born with sky high serotonin...

 

[milk]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

I guess if you harbor an hyper-competitive narcissistic Patrick Batemanesque "I need to be hottest dude who lays the hottest women" mindset you're probably gonna feel pretty bleak.

Sure, it's weird that some women today don't even feel like they have to live up to an archetypal ideal of female modesty, as if a life that's a total indiscriminate sex orgy is just a bourgeois "life choice" among many, but I guess that's our current cultural climate. There's something wimpy about using that as an excuse for wallowing in nihillism or misogyny.

If you go to a church you will find people who honor the idea of commitment in a relationship, even if they don't live up to it.

I come from a good home, my childhood was pretty good, and I don't know what's wrong with wanting to find someone with whom I can make a home, have kids. There's something sacred about marriage and family that goes beyond how well you rank in the "sexual market value" scale. (And isn't that a horrific term?)

Adam and Eve, Joseph Mary and Jesus are good ideals to try to live up to. Isn't Don Juan a proverbially unhappy figure. Doesn't love consist in forgiving your spouse his or her imperfections. I'm rambling. Hope you get the point.

 

[Giraffe]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

http://lookism.net/showthread.php?tid=8206

Is "You" and "JustTheWayYouAre" actually the same person? You posted her pic? How mean is this?

 

[milk]

Re: A discussion with my female colleague completely ruined my day...

uh i just read pboy's post and he says everything that needs to be said, much better than me lol