I Don't Think I Can Recover, Suicidal| Mental Health Log

[SuperStressed]

Yeah, Ray has written a couple times that in the short-term, the PUFAs aren't as problematic, and getting the important nutrients and calories like vitamin A, protein, carbs etc at first is more important.

Interesting, I didnt realise that re: PUFAs short-term. I am obese so there is no doubt it would take a long time to get rid of all this stored PUFA anyway. Love that quote in your signature btw, very true.

@Collden Maybe eating what I crave and also supplementing the things I would be missing (like Vitamin A, calcium, magnesium) is a better short-term strategy for me.

Stool tests suggested low stomach acid is possible (high fat, high protein in stool), i get heartburn at times, its worse the more stressed I am regardless of what I eat so im considering betaine hcl, exclusion dieting just increases stress. Not sure if betaine is safe, Peat didnt answer when I asked him. I get paranoid about not absorbing what im eating.


Just got my 500mg niacin pills, will keep you all updated, took one after food 40 mins ago and just now started to feel a few tingles.

 

[SuperStressed]

How much time do you spend on the computer/phone? I think screens can raise cortisol. Do you feel better if you completely avoid screens and stimuli and do nothing but just lay in bed?

All day im connected to a computer/phone. I have noticed that laying on my back can lower stress sometimes.

I think a lot of us with chronic fatigue get caught in the computer/phone trap. You dont have energy and are filled with anxiety so leaving the home is hell so you just end up living online.

 

[milkboi]

I think a lot of us with chronic fatigue get caught in the computer/phone trap. You dont have energy and are filled with anxiety so leaving the home is hell so you just end up living online.

Yeah, that‘s true.

 

[mrchibbs]

Interesting, I didnt realise that re: PUFAs short-term. I am obese so there is no doubt it would take a long time to get rid of all this stored PUFA anyway. Love that quote in your signature btw, very true.

@Collden Maybe eating what I crave and also supplementing the things I would be missing (like Vitamin A, calcium, magnesium) is a better short-term strategy for me.

Stool tests suggested low stomach acid is possible (high fat, high protein in stool), i get heartburn at times, its worse the more stressed I am regardless of what I eat so im considering betaine hcl, exclusion dieting just increases stress. Not sure if betaine is safe, Peat didnt answer when I asked him. I get paranoid about not absorbing what im eating.


Just got my 500mg niacin pills, will keep you all updated, took one after food 40 mins ago and just now started to feel a few tingles.

I wouldn't supplement anything to be honest. Supplements have loads of excipients which can irritate the intestine and intestinal inflammation is linked to higher serotonin, and mood disorders and ultimately learned helplessness. I know your givin Niacin a try, so keep that up, but don't try too much supplements. Except maybe pure aspirin.

Get your calcium from good milk, vitamin A from liver/eggs and magnesium from fresh OJ or other palatable foods. Oysters and other shellfish are also superfood. Regarding the PUFAs, avoid anything with obvious vegetable oils, and take some coconut oil with each meal, beyond that you'll be fine even if you eat several eggs, in the short run its important to make sure nutrition is covered.

I've just gone through a very tough year with respect to heartburn, in my case it degenerated into GERD and outright choking and gasping for air on food.
Last fall I was blending my food to be able to swallow it. It took me several months to get over it, at first a prescription of Riva Pantoprazole helped to control the heartburn symptoms and help my oesophagus heal, but ultimately getting a lot of sun since May, and taking more thyroid along with working actively to reduce serotonin (which affects all the digestive system), taking more gelatine and less tryptophan, and aspirin and cyproheptadine. Now I'm free of troubles, I don't get heartburn, nor take any prescription drugs anymore.

Regarding my signature quote, I think I'm very similar to you, I had a great childhood until I was 10, then it was ***t for several years, but from 15-20 I was a very happy dude. My 20s so far have been very hard. Last 2 years I've been deathly ill. I've made an incredible recovery though, working full time on it from last summer till now. Its very hard to repair and change the course of bad epigenetic processes the more we get older, but you and I, at 27 we should have the capacities to get over it. Just keep us updated and we'll listen and provide support for your recovery here.

 

[mrchibbs]

All day im connected to a computer/phone. I have noticed that laying on my back can lower stress sometimes.

I think a lot of us with chronic fatigue get caught in the computer/phone trap. You dont have energy and are filled with anxiety so leaving the home is hell so you just end up living online.

EMF from computer use is linked to heartburn too. And it affects your brain and gonads in a very bad way.

Some simple steps that help the most;

-Never use your laptop ON your lap.
-Order some orange glasses to filter the blue light from the screen
-If you have ethernet available, choose that over WIFI
-Turn off WIFI when you don't need it, or put your phone on Airplane mode during sleep.
-Never talk with your phone next to your ear, use earphones or speakerphone.
-Remove bluetooth devices from your environment.

For more info, get the Non-tinfoil guide to EMF, by Nicolas Pineault. It's amazingly well researched and explains all the risks and best practices thoroughly

 

[redsun]

I wouldn't supplement anything to be honest. Supplements have loads of excipients which can irritate the intestine and intestinal inflammation is linked to higher serotonin, and mood disorders and ultimately learned helplessness. I know your givin Niacin a try, so keep that up, but don't try too much supplements. Except maybe pure aspirin.

Get your calcium from good milk, vitamin A from liver/eggs and magnesium from fresh OJ or other palatable foods. Oysters and other shellfish are also superfood. Regarding the PUFAs, avoid anything with obvious vegetable oils, and take some coconut oil with each meal, beyond that you'll be fine even if you eat several eggs, in the short run its important to make sure nutrition is covered.

I've just gone through a very tough year with respect to heartburn, in my case it degenerated into GERD and outright choking and gasping for air on food.
Last fall I was blending my food to be able to swallow it. It took me several months to get over it, at first a prescription of Riva Pantoprazole helped to control the heartburn symptoms and help my oesophagus heal, but ultimately getting a lot of sun since May, and taking more thyroid along with working actively to reduce serotonin (which affects all the digestive system), taking more gelatine and less tryptophan, and aspirin and cyproheptadine. Now I'm free of troubles, I don't get heartburn, nor take any prescription drugs anymore.

Aspirin actually depletes certain micronutrients, more so in the long term. In general for someone in his condition, any stimulants or anything that can further deplete nutrients should probably be minimized if not entirely avoided at least temporarily.

@SuperStressed poor digestion is another indicator of niacin deficiency/dependecy. That's another big reason to take it and will likely help you out in that department as well.

 

[Cirion]

+1 on emf. removing emf sources also removed a lot of unexplainable fatigue and brain fog I was getting while at home. There's no need for wifi anyway, just used wired connections which are actually faster anyways. If nothing else at least make sure the sleeping environment is low/zero emf.

 

[mrchibbs]

Aspirin actually depletes certain micronutrients, more so in the long term. In general for someone in his condition, any stimulants or anything that can further deplete nutrients should probably be minimized if not entirely avoided at least temporarily.

@SuperStressed poor digestion is another indicator of niacin deficiency/dependecy. That's another big reason to take it and will likely help you out in that department as well.

? Not sure I follow you here. Aspirin can also take care of underlying inflammation and help many things altogether.
Especially dissolved, in a glass of juice with a meal (along with some K2) it can be invaluable.

 

[mrchibbs]

+1 on emf. removing emf sources also removed a lot of unexplainable fatigue and brain fog I was getting while at home. There's no need for wifi anyway, just used wired connections which are actually faster anyways. If nothing else at least make sure the sleeping environment is low/zero emf.

It may be a fluke, but my health problems started around 2012, and I really started getting exposed to WIFI and EMF that year. I got my iPad that year, along with my first laptop and started using wifi a lot. Before that, growing up my computer was always wired to the internet and my cell didn't have any data. I can't even imagine how many nights I sat watching Netflix with a laptop or iPad on my chest, flashing blue lights on my face in the middle of the nights. Coincidence or not my health problems got worse and worse from that point on. In the past 5 years wifi and bluetooth have become common place and it really makes me worried for kids who grow up with these technologies. The worse is when I see a young girl or guy wearing those airbuds, with their cellphone at full WIFI and bluetooth signal in their groin area. It's criminal.

 

[redsun]

? Not sure I follow you here. Aspirin can also take care of underlying inflammation and help many things altogether.
Especially dissolved, in a glass of juice with a meal (along with some K2) it can be invaluable.

Sodium, potassium, iron, folate, and vitamin C are depleted by aspirin. Of those, vitamin C and folate are more likely to be problematic depending on a person's diet. If they get tons of vitamin C and folate, then the depletion may not matter. If not, losing more folate and vitamin C when one's diet is already poor in it can screw you up more.

 

[mrchibbs]

Sodium, potassium, iron, folate, and vitamin C are depleted by aspirin. Of those, vitamin C and folate are more likely to be problematic depending on a person's diet. If they get tons of vitamin C and folate, then the depletion may not matter. If not, losing more folate and vitamin C when one's diet is already poor in it can screw you up more.

You could be right and I may be understating the problems that can occur with aspirin, but frankly I have not read about those issues. Furthermore, it seems to me like a diet with ample OJ and Eggs would take care of any deficiency of C and folate. On the whole, I agree, making sure to eat lots of nutritious foods is the #1 thing, but using pure aspirin powder, dissolved with baking soda has been a life changing addition to my regimen, and I've seen amazing stories of people improving their general health tremendously by taking several grams a day. I generally take less than 1g a day, but I'm tempted to take more.

And underlying inflammatory process can wreck havoc on many people, in my self for example, aspirin resolved the low-grade acne I was getting from constant intestinal inflammation. It's good for so many things, and is so cheap I wonder if it's not hazardous to avoid using it when one is so ill.

 

[SuperStressed]

I've tried liver and oysters so many times, so disgusting to me, raises stress. I think the answer has become kind of obvious to me in this last day. Certain gums and oils etc may irritate and raise stress but nothing is more stressful to me than ignoring cravings and restricting myself from foods that my mind instinctively wants me to go for - even if those foods have PUFAs and additives.

Since I got seriously ill from the steroids I never had a significant period of just eating what I wanted. I always end up thinking I have to make a restriction to get better, yet it ends with me getting more stressed from doing so...then I get so stressed that I can't eat at all...then I allow myself to eat what I crave... Takes a week or two to return to the less-stressed state.... Then I do the same thing again and again.

I wonder what would happen if I just ate whatever I wanted for months and didn't feel guilty about it, I might actually grow a resistance to stress if I stop throwing myself into a deeper crisis every two weeks!

I love Oj BTW. I can only import actual ripe oranges from Spain with no tang for 3 months of the year but slightly under ripe orange is still nutritious and if I enjoy it (I do) it will probably help.

As for milk, I hate it on its own , but I love yogurts, custard and sometimes chocolate milk, so I'll just eat those. They arnt 'peaty' if I'm eating custard with apple pie or pizza with my cheese but I have my own context and the context is that I can't deal with food restrictions right now.

I remember how I used to be, eating a specific diet was easy peasy. One time I drank only protein shakes for 10 weeks, was I stressed? Sure, I lost 50lbs but that stress response felt 10000x less intense than I feel in my current state.

If I can get over this really bad state I find myself in, the more methodical and cautious approach probably is needed to get to optimal but for now I can't do it.

Of course eating what I want might not actually work but I haven't even tried.

 

[SuperStressed]

Interesting regarding aspirin. I think it made my dandruff/seb derm worse.

Doing 1000mg x 3 niacin tomorrow.

 

[redsun]

Interesting regarding aspirin. I think it made my dandruff/seb derm worse.

Doing 1000mg x 3 niacin tomorrow.

Anything significant from the niacin so far? Or are you waiting for the full dose and not trying to jinx it? Its fine either way. The 3 x 1000mg dose isn't like putting a key in a door and turning the knob, as in its not an instant transition from off(stressed, anxious) to on(energized, relaxed). Its more like slowly adding fuel to an empty gas tank(the gas tank being your body). There may be an initial strong effect but it should improve over a long period of time as well with strict dosing.

 

[SuperStressed]

Anything significant from the niacin so far? Or are you waiting for the full dose and not trying to jinx it? Its fine either way. The 3 x 1000mg dose isn't like putting a key in a door and turning the knob, as in its not an instant transition from off(stressed, anxious) to on(energized, relaxed). Its more like slowly adding fuel to an empty gas tank(the gas tank being your body). There may be an initial strong effect but it should improve over a long period of time as well with strict dosing.

Did 2x 500mg today and didnt notice anything just the prickly feeling. Ill probably try up to 3000 x 3 if I can get there without feeling sick.

 

[rmgwm]

I have given up trying to eat no starch or fibres as the diet is too stressful for me to do, I dont enjoy the food and its too liquid, this just stresses me more and more.

My current diet is
beef (and ill have pork rinds with this for glycine)
Baked potatoes (do not like mashed potatoes)
Sourdough with cheese
Greek yoghurt with honey
Potato chips (ingredients are salt, potato and coconut oil)
Ice cream (good stuff without soy and gums)
Jell-o (for glycine with the ice cream)
Orange, Apple juice or Coke, occasionally Coffee Con Leche.

Its palatable food and easy to prepare, its the best I can do while im stuck in this state.

I take a supplement called Bone Renewal - 800mg cal, 400mg mag, 2000 iu Vit D, Boron etc.
I take aspirin 2x a day, Niacinamide 100mg 3x a day, Vitamin K and 5000 iu Vitamin A.




Things Im thinking of trying:
Red Light
5-a-dhp
Emodin

After that, im out of ideas. I do not understand why supplements that directly lower adrenaline, serotonin and cortisol simply have no effect on me, it doesnt make sense.

Currently working on:
Raising Vitamin D - last result was 25, half of whats recommended
Getting more sunlight
Copper is low - Current diet should provide enough to eventually raise levels
Waiting for P5P to arrive, going to try 10mg a day

I am hoping that Vitamin D and calcium can come into balance and maybe lower stress.

Blood results show cortisol is high, DUTCH testing shows most things are high.


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When you hear loud noises do they "shock" your system? i.e. they make you jump and you feel they almost physically hurt..

 

[mrchibbs]

For what it’s worth, I totally understand and if you eat lots of OJ and eggs you’ll be fine. But oysters and liver have such a unique nutritional profile, it’s hard to replace them.

Making or buying a liver and onion pate makes it a lot more palatable? I’m not sure if you’ve tried liver pate before but it’s really good.

For oysters, I get it but they’re so high in zinc it’s a shame not to eat them. Have you tried fried oysters? Do you like some other type of seafood like mussels, shrimp? Making an oyster soup makes them more palatable and even delicious, like clam chowder which is also good.

With milk, maybe get some chocolate powder and make a chocolate milk? There’s some very pure and clean powder on sale at the life giving store (links on this forum). Eating conventional yogurt is a big problem with the massive amount of lactic acid. Greek yogurt has that part removed so it’s a better choice, especially with honey, marmalade, maple syrup it’s tasty.

Regarding aspirin, I’ll repeat my previous statements, I think it’s amazing.

 

[RWilly]

I feel like it's a copper and zinc thing in relation to iron. (Keep in mind when you read studies, that both copper and zinc are involved in the acute phase reaction, so when there is a bacterial infection, serum levels of copper go up, iron will go down, and zinc will go down, and that doesn't necessarily equate to actual levels. So when you read 'copper toxicity', some studies see toxicity as serum copper, when that could be part of fighting off bacteria, so it would naturally be high, and be related to chronic disease, as most chronic disease has a microbe component.

It's pretty hard to have true toxic copper unless there was a genetic condition such as Wilson's disease.

So just keep that in mind if you go down the rabbit hole on copper, zinc and iron.

Here's to get you started:


Influence of synthetic corticosteroids on plasma zinc and copper levels in humans. - PubMed - NCBI

Effects of chronic and acute corticosteroid therapy on zinc and copper status in rheumatoid arthritis patients. - PubMed - NCBI

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/holistic-psychiatry/201709/copper-toxicity-common-cause-psychiatric-symptoms

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/metals-and-mental-health/

 

[SuperStressed]

When you hear loud noises do they "shock" your system? i.e. they make you jump and you feel they almost physically hurt..

yes

 

[SuperStressed]

For what it’s worth, I totally understand and if you eat lots of OJ and eggs you’ll be fine. But oysters and liver have such a unique nutritional profile, it’s hard to replace them.

Making or buying a liver and onion pate makes it a lot more palatable? I’m not sure if you’ve tried liver pate before but it’s really good.

For oysters, I get it but they’re so high in zinc it’s a shame not to eat them. Have you tried fried oysters? Do you like some other type of seafood like mussels, shrimp? Making an oyster soup makes them more palatable and even delicious, like clam chowder which is also good.

With milk, maybe get some chocolate powder and make a chocolate milk? There’s some very pure and clean powder on sale at the life giving store (links on this forum). Eating conventional yogurt is a big problem with the massive amount of lactic acid. Greek yogurt has that part removed so it’s a better choice, especially with honey, marmalade, maple syrup it’s tasty.

Regarding aspirin, I’ll repeat my previous statements, I think it’s amazing.

Yeah ive tried to get liver into me in a few ways inc liver sausage.
Best I could do right now is to take a few of these

I love prawns and occasionally get a fancy for some mussels. I was put off prawns when I realized the waters they were coming from and putting them into cronometer, they dont seem all that nutritious? comparing 100g of beef to 100g of prawns, im not sure what the big deal is with prawns?

Yep - I only eat the thick greek stuff w/ honey