I am a chronic slacker. I procrastinate self-destructively. I have for years.

you

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In highschool I managed to slide by doing the minimum amount of work but even then it caused problems. Obviously doing the stuff I love is easy and I’m successful at it, but as soon as something is hard for me or isn’t immediately engaging for me I become evasive. I know that if I don’t buckle down and do the stuff that is hard for me I’ll never get better at it. Ultimately, I got into a pretty good college based on my essays, interviews and standardized test scores, but now my slacking is starting to cause real problems.

I’m not a defeatist. I believe in self improvement. I’m really an optimist. I’m generally happy. I believe that the world is an awesome place and I believe that I’m an awesome person. I know I can do better but I just can’t seem to muster the willpower for continuous, meticulous work. I’m becoming increasingly disappointed in myself for analyzing and bitching about my problems and not just fixing them. I’m such a wuss, god damn.

Obviously I have no professional behavior science or psychology training education so what follows are entirely amateur musings.

I currently hold a hardline skinner type operant conditioning model of human behavior. I know that it is outdated but as a broad model I think it works pretty well. Evolution designs us to survive and reproduce. Our physiology is equipped with whatever mechanisms successively kept our ancestors alive and *******. Apparently learning - adapting to the environment, modifying behavior in response to transpired events - was a tool that effectively kept our ancestors alive. I ate those berries yesterday and they made me sick, I guess I won’t eat them again today. Last year I gave flowers to the pretty girl and she let me stick my penis in her, I guess I’ll try giving this new pretty girl flowers too. Learning worked for your ancestors, so, you learn.

Our motivations are, to some extent, conditioned into us. One motivation that I believe is especially dependent on conditioning is our willingness to delay gratification. Our brains are naturally protective of our energy. We weigh the costs of our actions with their rewards. The part of our brain that handles motivations isn’t rational. Its action-reward price sheet is constructed over time through conditioning.

I think that, in many ways, my parents did a good job raising me. However, I wish that they had instilled in me a stronger ability to delay gratification. Sure, I know plenty of kids whose parents didn’t aggressively instill a work-ethic in them who still have a work ethic, but I think that my particular inherited survival strategy is too naturally evasive for the level of work-ethic conditioning my parents did. I think I needed a drill sergeant. As is, the part of my brain that handles motivation has yet to viscerally experience the rewards of delaying gratification.

I think that my procrastination is, at its core, a cowardly mechanism for avoiding the unpleasant feelings of doing things that are hard for me. Because I haven't been systematically forced to directly face sacrifice and then experience the ensuing rewards, my system of motivation avoids sacrifice aggressively. Over time this mechanism becomes more and more entrenched.

So, approaching this problem scientifically, what should I do?

I need to find someway to modify my motivations. The most obvious would be to use willpower to go against my motivations, face sacrifice, enjoy the ensuing rewards, and slowly condition my brain to value delaying gratification. I will continue to try this, but so far, it hasn’t worked at all.
 

pboy

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that's how I was man, theres probably underlying reasons, it clearly wasn't lack of ability. I was an all A student up until highschollish, but once the ***t became intangible and ruthless more..like ***t mattered for college and top 10% and stuff, also family life became pretty shat, I basically to salvage my heart had to stop caring as much about school, yet id always get...highest grades in computer science which I was interested in, it brough me joy, the other stuff didn't bring me joy. Part of it is that you are protecting yourself from wasting energy on things that will put you into learned helplessness mode or be programmed with false propagated ideas...which a lot of school is, history and all, for me it was totally that. When I look back at my earlierlife from my perspective now, its actually profound how deeply guided I was despite not being able to word it at the time. It was the best thing in the world that I did because I didn't get programmed help, hopelessly, I got the stuff I needed that was interesting, I loved for example reading and writing about brave new world, and them the next book that was a joke id not do any homework regarding it and barely get by. Theres probly other stresses in your life also, but a main thing is that a lot of school is a waste of energy, your body knows that. Unfortuneately our society is complete crap in terms of people having heart and judging character, they can only see paper. Just make sure you get out of HS, have fun with it, don't take it seriously, do what you have to but don't take it to heart, realize, if you're not interested, you'r just doing it to satisfy some lame people. The lack of tension and step out awareness will make it a lot easier. Don't be hard on yourself man, you sound a lot like me and youre outlook is great. That's actually why I didn't do as good in school, all my friends who knew me growing up knew I was the smartest kid there, and never understood why I didn't try or get high grades anymore. Its because...it sounds like, you genuinely value your heart, your self, and probably have a clean conscience, and cant against your will do things that your intuition isn't inspired to. This is a great quality to have as a person and in life. No doubt our society is weird and might still ask you for paper, or a lot of it, but people will be able to tell as a person your quality, and if you're not in a sharky business, it will be best. I have to say knowing what I know now, and seeing how my life has been, carry your trust inyourself, its the best thing. You'll be able to sleep at night and know youre a genuine person. As for school, I know ...its a trippy situation, its stressful to go against will, yet a stress to not make the grades in a different way, but more just cause other people are lame and all that, not cause you actually care yourself, you know who you are and given something worthy to do you'd excel and be a leader in or someone with integrity. Just do what you have to, but don't tense up about it...don't let them make you think they really know whats best or anything that's happening is right or the best way...just realize that's the situation at hand and play it

eat the things you like and are naturally inclined towards, have some outlets for fun and things that get you into your happy higher state so you can conter balance the other stuff you might have to but don't want to do

edit: sorry I read it again, realize you're in college now...I guess take the gist of what I wrote and apply it, same thing happened to me, and im sure Peat...people of a certain caliber just...don't vibe with that kind of conveyor belt no heart or soul weird kidn of thing. Its up to you depending on your situation how to play it, even if you do decide to get the grades and do the things, maintain a dis attatched comedy about it, and don't let it influence you, and no matter the magnitude of how it seems like..well this must be right...its how all thigns are and people and all that, it isn't right

also just think about what you would want to do to make money, don't worry about the amount, just start thinking in that direction. What is something that you could do without coming home drained, that you wouldn't actually mind doing...or actually are a bit inspired about or would have some fun or thrill doing, that kind of thing
 
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you

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12 years of school, 4-5 years of college, work till you retire and die in a nursing home.

I don't believe that you are unable to do literally anything else while in school or work but school and work consume so insanely much of the typical person's life, they may as well not even have one.

Even when you muster up the few hours of pittance you have left, it's still kinda grim. You have a bedtime all your life, you need to get up early always - even in the weekend as to not mess up your rhythm too much. At least 10 hours of your day are spent working and transporting yourself to work. If you own a home you have a ton of responsibilities like budgeting, paying bills, cleaning, shopping. Stress, deadlines and responsibilities never stop. Only a fraction of your time can be spend actually doing something truly creative or enriching and even then you can never really feel at ease because responsibility keeps lurking around the corner.

At any entry level job, literally all my money will be going to rent, bills and food. I'll have no money at all left for any fun or entertainment, let alone save up for big purchases or events. I'd quite literally be working to stay alive.
 

Makrosky

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I would say you have to take it much easier on yourself. You're brutally judging yourself and putting up a lot of pressure on yourself.

"approaching this problem scientifically what should I do".

What you should do: Not approaching it scientifically. Not treating yourself as a machine (or as a skinner box for the matter). Not obsessing with food, just a few general guidelines. Not obsessing with hormones or neurotransmitters or parts of the brain. Not mutilating yourself to fit the establishment. Loving yourself more as you are, not at you should be. Respecting yourself more. Not being so serious. Find "the others", you're not alone. Stay away from psychiatric drugs. Spend an afternoon with a girl without thinking about shagging her. Buy some Allan Watts books. Oh, and also, read pboy's posts.

That would be a beginning. Do you want me to say those are "orders" ?

Stay well.
 

gretchen

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* get up and go to sleep on a regular schedule
* get red light to increase your dopamine. It's the hormone of motivation
* stop ingesting negative, mindless media (hollywood, etc)
* get a job if you feel you should and can
* take a bottle of Bach flower wild oat to get some direction. Store it away from your phone
* stop judging yourself
 

Amazoniac

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There are many people who travel to Peru in south America to try the Ayahuasca rituals. Rather than suggesting that you do it, I'm just suggesting that (like in the speech that I posted) experiencing calculated risks puts you in a place of forced clarity and self-trust; extreme experiences (like leaving the company in the case of Steve Jobs) also force you set priorities and your own path.
 

sweetpeat

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Amazoniac said:
This speech is the equivalent of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake or Beethoven's Fur Elise, due to so much repetition it has become almost vulgar. Haha! But it's very touching and relevant nevertheless..

Thanks for posting this. I guess I'm probably one of the few people who've never seen or heard his speech. Very poignant when he talks about living each day as if it's your last...
 

Peata

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Agree with many things here.

For me, no matter how many times I'd try to motivate myself about living each day as if it were the last, I still couldn't keep a momentum going longterm on things.

What's worked for me over the last couple months was really getting my health in order. Then everything else grew from that. Not that one has to be in perfect health to accomplish anything. I've certainly done plenty when metabolism was low, dopamine was low, etc. And there are many who have done that and accomplished great things indeed.

But having all that firing really just makes it all fall into place. Calories/nutrients/metabolism = Energy/Motivation/Clear head instead of brain fog, etc.
 

Makrosky

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Peata said:
try to motivate myself about living each day as if it were the last.

I see this as a big source of auto-generated stress.

And I see this as a reflection of the crazy world we live in where "time" is a "resource" and you have to "use it wisefully". It is productivity again. It is capitalism and industrial revolution embedded in our most profound psyche. That is why people can't even STOP for a minute. For a day. You're losing time, money, it's a good to trade. Always Quantity before Quality.

Do the Ayahuasca, guys. I highly recommend it.
 
A

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You do the minimum because that is all you have the energy for. Focus on the peat principles, especially improving gut health. You want to reduce inflammation and eat easy to digest foods. If you can improve metabolism, you will have more energy and consequently more drive to achieve the things you really want. Dont waste the little energy you may have on useless thinking. Try to be present and don't worry about things you cannot control, ever. Reading a book called The Power of now by eckhart Tolle may be helpful. Also I have not read about it myself, but NLP is supposedly very helpful for people. Your mind is good at creating limitations for what you can and cannot do. But with some understanding of meditation, you will learn that it's all ridiculous and meaningless. It's not enough to just meditate. That doesn't work for many people. You need to understand why it is valuable and what it is teaching you. The combination of a spiritual practice and dietary changes can have a tremendous impact on your way you view the world. Both are equally important. Your feelings are legitimate, and suggest that your metabolism is not efficient enough for the things you want to accomplish.
 

gretchen

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You could also consider Clematis for spaciness or Wild Rose for apathy. Some of the Bach literature I've read suggests that Wild Rose may be an essence to consider taking long-term, because the patterns of not caring may have started at birth and could be deep seated. I can attest having taken a bottle or so that things perk up and you start to notice things you didn't before. You see more color and have a feeling of being slightly enthused/energized.

I've waited to post this for a while...... :mrgreen: . You might consider bringing in the big guns if you really can't get yourself going. I advise this with utmost caution- read around about it, or watch some stuff on You Tube. If you're totally unmotivated, you could nuke yourself with a moldavite:
http://www.healing-crystals-for-you.com/moldavite.html

I had one briefly last year. I lost it in the move and do not think now that I would necessarily get another one. It gives a very intense boost.
 
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I did a search on this page for the world "social" and I read no further when it returned nothing.
Nothing will affect your behavior more than the people you're around... And the topic here is a behavior pattern. They say your personality is the sum of the 5 people you've spent the most time with over the last couple years - and if those five people are you and your computer... Well, you get the point.

Cultivate a social life.
 

pboy

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to add to your post oxidation, its definitely important..its basically an essential nutrient to feel the presence of people you like...that are comfortable and let your spirit be as you want. Even music has that effect to a degree. I think by far though, the most important thing is avoiding constricting people, way moreso than needing to be around friends or others all the time. When im living alone, im fine for most of the day being alone...occasionally ill want to go out but I can be by myself most of the week and be fine...i actually like and prefer that a lot of times, total freedom of spirit. I am watching a lot of videos and listening to music, and of course theres people all around me and I shop and all that. No doubt friends are huge. But for me, nothing ruins my life more than having to live with or be around people that are constricting, or even places...its like a choke off of nearly everything good that's circulating inside...toxic environments also, like loud noises or bad air or things like that...anything that constricts how you would ideally behave and feel, its much more important to avoid that, then to always be around people you do like or socializing
 

YuraCZ

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Makrosky said:
Peata said:
try to motivate myself about living each day as if it were the last.

I see this as a big source of auto-generated stress.

And I see this as a reflection of the crazy world we live in where "time" is a "resource" and you have to "use it wisefully". It is productivity again. It is capitalism and industrial revolution embedded in our most profound psyche. That is why people can't even STOP for a minute. For a day. You're losing time, money, it's a good to trade. Always Quantity before Quality.

Do the Ayahuasca, guys. I highly recommend it.

:thumbup
 
A

Anonymous

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Ayuhasca is a bunch of bs. There's no way ray would be on board with it. People have died from it and have also had an awful experiences.
 

Makrosky

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JRMoney15 said:
Ayuhasca is a bunch of bs. There's no way ray would be on board with it. People have died from it and have also had an awful experiences.

You don't have the slightest idea of what you're talking about. Let's try to give some good advice to the OP. I think he/she needs it.
 

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