MetabolicTrash
Member
Even through the monotony of everyday life, somehow many see a "purpose" in their being. I question most of so-called purposes since almost every known person with a purpose will die -- their "being" eradicated with said purpose. Since I foreshadow my own being, why should I align myself with a set-point path of life to death?
Other than not ever really fitting in or possibly wanting to get anywhere in life, whatever that means, I suppose a good argument over the questioning of life and purpose is separation of concerns for ourselves and others -- like a keen sense of knowing what's to come and avoiding it even if futile to some.
I have -- sometimes more often than others -- seen my existence like a film in ways. I am really the "something" behind the actual body that is presumably mortal and confined -- limited in this body and capabilities it brings in various ways depending on action or context. The man or woman who tries to "improve" their physiology as in improving health is still subjected to the protocol of the beast -- strengthen, survive, withstand, etc. I see no real enlightenment in improving health, although I'm still going to continue trying to do it because I know of nothing else that's "better" in any way given my situation.
The real concern is that "improvement" is not enlightenment -- it is tantamount to any and nearly all forms of human life as we know it. There is nothing intrinsically different from any person in this regard, no matter what their serotonin level is or psychological standing point, is there not? You get better to stand higher -- the apex predator; the "alpha" animal; the best off to a degree. I remember some points where I was "out of it" enough to not even think these things, but would it be wise to live that way constantly, if possible?
I have told myself in different senses that I do not care about much of the animal pursuits, even if I can't but help myself in engaging in them subtly. I mean at least I am not a mean person in my ways, but the reality is that I had made an understanding of myself that I would not beat myself up over not being "successful" because it's meaningless -- a path to destruction as I very much know it. The underdog becoming a champion is stressful, damaging, and killing of oneself -- at least with less concerns for this one can remain "low-status" or poorer or etc., but not engage in ruthless animal destruction and the chase of power. This is where the "serotonin" aspects might come in, but of course depend on exact individuals, circumstances and contexts. I have found that -- even though ironic at times -- inaction can be serotonergic, while pursuit can be more dopaminergic -- the issue is that pursuits are stressful, whereas hibernation or ego destruction can leave you in a worse place than where you were before. You try not to worry, but you end up having nothing to do anyways -- after all, if you aren't pursuing anything then you are doing nothing, which leaves you in the same place you have always been in that provides no novelty, leisure, or any other animalistic pursuit.
It's interesting how some give up on all worldly or materialistic concerns or such, and do not suffer from it. I have tried this and although it can feel like it's working it has a way of creeping up on you. The people around you will make it tougher too -- who will be the ones paying your bills while you try and remain as close to "nothingness" as possible? I couldn't manage to steadily work in any job even if I wanted to -- if I could I would've done it by now. I've been so far out of "normalcy" that it's only further in the direction of "insanity" probably -- in fact it might work out for me at least. I recalled before of times I wished I was homeless, associating possible freedom with this. Novelty, choice, and no worries -- homeless and with no memory or family could perhaps be the best thing for me now vs. where I'm currently "stuck" so to speak.
How do those give up their worldly concerns and possessions and do just fine? I can't seem to fully do this -- the beast urges and desires always creep up. I feel it is my duty to preserve the mortal image of myself to the best I can, but at the same time it feels pointless. If I am devoid of the animalistic privileges from presumably choosing to not capitalize on them to my benefit, then what is to be gained from preservation? Just as a hollow shell? A passive observer through life itself?
I mean I'll be honest that it does sound interesting to live as long and powerfully as possible given having no purpose or direction or expectancy for anything, but it also has a sad angle to it too. I would be literally "buffing" myself for nothing -- like bodybuilding to never go outside; powerlifting to never actually compete in weight training; earning money to never spend it; etc. When you want to maintain yourself for the sake of some sanctity over your mortal being from some sense of self while at the same time you question the very purpose or defining element in your existence being mostly null is where you reach an impasse of all impasses.
I mean it is kind of ironic that some of us look to "more" or "better" as if these words do not solely apply to yourself doing it in a beast-like manner -- to grow only to gain powerful and benefits like any other animal. Would anyone here truly trade perfect health and immortality for zero wealth, sex, friendships, respect, family,or likeness/care by or from any other mortal human? It seems unlikely. Although I might consider doing this I have no option since none are presented to me to do such -- and I have no idea how I could do something like that myself. So it kind of feels like you want to improve yourself, but at the same time you wonder why because you plan to make no use of the upgraded hardware because doing so would lower you back to a beast entirely.
I have thought that maybe I am too mighty for the mortal prison and circumstances -- but with nowhere to go you are seemingly bound to this confinement with no escape. How do we become more than a man or woman? How do we become more than just a beast?
Because it seems like no matter what direction you come from, end up here or wish to go to there always remains a remnant of the beast at your core -- and this seems unchangeable. Think about it like this: would any man or woman/male or female here pursue health if it wasn't to improve reproductive ability? Have my confidence so you can pursue more power? Have sex? Earn money? Eat food? Advance in the "social order" as you might theoretically reconcile with?
Man or beast -- but it seems both are one and I cannot choose otherwise, so I am biologically imprisoned.
I've thought of improving my metabolism, but this is just the beast in action -- trying to be superior no matter what. What trait most resonates with the beast than fighting tooth and nail to do everything to stand higher? This is the mightiest mark of the beast -- doing everything to win. But sadly when you do nothing you are still a beast, even if you pursue nothing of "better" either. Why it seems I was born a beast and people would expect me to die as one no matter what choices I make or don't make, but I can't have this ... I can't. You want to be great, but it is the beast that really wants it, not "you" beyond the mortal-form. I have told myself that I no longer strenuously pursue anything even if I may not object to it since it can be stressful and damaging. Since I have no animalistic buff I'd say my angle is more along the lines of preserving the mortal nature just for the sake of doing it since what else is there for me to do? What I enjoy? What I enjoy is not feasible because the factors that lead to it are too stressful, and many of us here know what lots of stress gets you. Also, worrying about how to achieve is just more mental anguish and pain, which again points to the sane direction that not having any pursuits is the least stressful and most practical. Plus, why pursue what you want when what you want is really just the beast's desires? Power? Sex? Money? I think I have reached the point where I'm beyond chasing those things, although I do not necessarily reject them all entirely at all times even knowing their nature.
I guess the real point is ... Why preserve the beast you aim to escape? But you are only the beast until you escape...
Other than not ever really fitting in or possibly wanting to get anywhere in life, whatever that means, I suppose a good argument over the questioning of life and purpose is separation of concerns for ourselves and others -- like a keen sense of knowing what's to come and avoiding it even if futile to some.
I have -- sometimes more often than others -- seen my existence like a film in ways. I am really the "something" behind the actual body that is presumably mortal and confined -- limited in this body and capabilities it brings in various ways depending on action or context. The man or woman who tries to "improve" their physiology as in improving health is still subjected to the protocol of the beast -- strengthen, survive, withstand, etc. I see no real enlightenment in improving health, although I'm still going to continue trying to do it because I know of nothing else that's "better" in any way given my situation.
The real concern is that "improvement" is not enlightenment -- it is tantamount to any and nearly all forms of human life as we know it. There is nothing intrinsically different from any person in this regard, no matter what their serotonin level is or psychological standing point, is there not? You get better to stand higher -- the apex predator; the "alpha" animal; the best off to a degree. I remember some points where I was "out of it" enough to not even think these things, but would it be wise to live that way constantly, if possible?
I have told myself in different senses that I do not care about much of the animal pursuits, even if I can't but help myself in engaging in them subtly. I mean at least I am not a mean person in my ways, but the reality is that I had made an understanding of myself that I would not beat myself up over not being "successful" because it's meaningless -- a path to destruction as I very much know it. The underdog becoming a champion is stressful, damaging, and killing of oneself -- at least with less concerns for this one can remain "low-status" or poorer or etc., but not engage in ruthless animal destruction and the chase of power. This is where the "serotonin" aspects might come in, but of course depend on exact individuals, circumstances and contexts. I have found that -- even though ironic at times -- inaction can be serotonergic, while pursuit can be more dopaminergic -- the issue is that pursuits are stressful, whereas hibernation or ego destruction can leave you in a worse place than where you were before. You try not to worry, but you end up having nothing to do anyways -- after all, if you aren't pursuing anything then you are doing nothing, which leaves you in the same place you have always been in that provides no novelty, leisure, or any other animalistic pursuit.
It's interesting how some give up on all worldly or materialistic concerns or such, and do not suffer from it. I have tried this and although it can feel like it's working it has a way of creeping up on you. The people around you will make it tougher too -- who will be the ones paying your bills while you try and remain as close to "nothingness" as possible? I couldn't manage to steadily work in any job even if I wanted to -- if I could I would've done it by now. I've been so far out of "normalcy" that it's only further in the direction of "insanity" probably -- in fact it might work out for me at least. I recalled before of times I wished I was homeless, associating possible freedom with this. Novelty, choice, and no worries -- homeless and with no memory or family could perhaps be the best thing for me now vs. where I'm currently "stuck" so to speak.
How do those give up their worldly concerns and possessions and do just fine? I can't seem to fully do this -- the beast urges and desires always creep up. I feel it is my duty to preserve the mortal image of myself to the best I can, but at the same time it feels pointless. If I am devoid of the animalistic privileges from presumably choosing to not capitalize on them to my benefit, then what is to be gained from preservation? Just as a hollow shell? A passive observer through life itself?
I mean I'll be honest that it does sound interesting to live as long and powerfully as possible given having no purpose or direction or expectancy for anything, but it also has a sad angle to it too. I would be literally "buffing" myself for nothing -- like bodybuilding to never go outside; powerlifting to never actually compete in weight training; earning money to never spend it; etc. When you want to maintain yourself for the sake of some sanctity over your mortal being from some sense of self while at the same time you question the very purpose or defining element in your existence being mostly null is where you reach an impasse of all impasses.
I mean it is kind of ironic that some of us look to "more" or "better" as if these words do not solely apply to yourself doing it in a beast-like manner -- to grow only to gain powerful and benefits like any other animal. Would anyone here truly trade perfect health and immortality for zero wealth, sex, friendships, respect, family,or likeness/care by or from any other mortal human? It seems unlikely. Although I might consider doing this I have no option since none are presented to me to do such -- and I have no idea how I could do something like that myself. So it kind of feels like you want to improve yourself, but at the same time you wonder why because you plan to make no use of the upgraded hardware because doing so would lower you back to a beast entirely.
I have thought that maybe I am too mighty for the mortal prison and circumstances -- but with nowhere to go you are seemingly bound to this confinement with no escape. How do we become more than a man or woman? How do we become more than just a beast?
Because it seems like no matter what direction you come from, end up here or wish to go to there always remains a remnant of the beast at your core -- and this seems unchangeable. Think about it like this: would any man or woman/male or female here pursue health if it wasn't to improve reproductive ability? Have my confidence so you can pursue more power? Have sex? Earn money? Eat food? Advance in the "social order" as you might theoretically reconcile with?
Man or beast -- but it seems both are one and I cannot choose otherwise, so I am biologically imprisoned.
I've thought of improving my metabolism, but this is just the beast in action -- trying to be superior no matter what. What trait most resonates with the beast than fighting tooth and nail to do everything to stand higher? This is the mightiest mark of the beast -- doing everything to win. But sadly when you do nothing you are still a beast, even if you pursue nothing of "better" either. Why it seems I was born a beast and people would expect me to die as one no matter what choices I make or don't make, but I can't have this ... I can't. You want to be great, but it is the beast that really wants it, not "you" beyond the mortal-form. I have told myself that I no longer strenuously pursue anything even if I may not object to it since it can be stressful and damaging. Since I have no animalistic buff I'd say my angle is more along the lines of preserving the mortal nature just for the sake of doing it since what else is there for me to do? What I enjoy? What I enjoy is not feasible because the factors that lead to it are too stressful, and many of us here know what lots of stress gets you. Also, worrying about how to achieve is just more mental anguish and pain, which again points to the sane direction that not having any pursuits is the least stressful and most practical. Plus, why pursue what you want when what you want is really just the beast's desires? Power? Sex? Money? I think I have reached the point where I'm beyond chasing those things, although I do not necessarily reject them all entirely at all times even knowing their nature.
I guess the real point is ... Why preserve the beast you aim to escape? But you are only the beast until you escape...
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