Help Breaking The Sexual Performance Anxiety Vicious Circle

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delysid

delysid

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Generally if you find that an issue interferes with some function, in your case, anxiety in regards to sex, then resolving the issue, anxiety, may restore some of the lost function. Some anti-anxiety drugs boost the libido; buspirone has been paired with testosterone to treat female sexual dysfunction for instance.

Call me optimistic or whatever but I think removing anxiety WILL work. I usually have morning wood, I'm interested in women, my voice got deeper so I don't think I have LOW T. Not consistently, but alcohol has helped me with that anxiety. I just didn't want to be shitfaced when seeing that girl at 3pm but it would've been a good idea.

What do you think about phenibut or theanine for this? No idea what buspirone is
 

DaveFoster

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Call me optimistic or whatever but I think removing anxiety WILL work. I usually have morning wood, I'm interested in women, my voice got deeper so I don't think I have LOW T. Not consistently, but alcohol has helped me with that anxiety. I just didn't want to be shitfaced when seeing that girl at 3pm but it would've been a good idea.

What do you think about phenibut or theanine for this? No idea what buspirone is
Phenibut has hellish withdrawal symptoms if used too often, which can include seizures like other benzodiazepines. In Phenibut dependence, Samokhvalov and others report treatment of phenibut withdrawals over a period of nine weeks.

L-theanine creates no physical dependency.
 
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delysid

delysid

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Phenibut has hellish withdrawal symptoms if used too often, which can include seizures like other benzodiazepines. In Phenibut dependence, Samokhvalov and others report treatment of phenibut withdrawals over a period of nine weeks.

L-theanine creates no physical dependency.

Thanks. I suppose I would run into that phenibut withdrawal situation if I had first sexual encounters many days in a row and I needed big doses. That would be an interesting situation. Unlikely, but interesting.
 

DaveFoster

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Thanks. I suppose I would run into that phenibut withdrawal situation if I had first sexual encounters many days in a row and I needed big doses. That would be an interesting situation. Unlikely, but interesting.
No problem. Regardless of whatever you do, you should always listen to yourself above all else, which does not entail selfishness or narrow-mindedness. Conquering and superseding boundaries exists as an integral component, if not the highest expression of masculinity. If you find yourself trapped, then you will never find satisfaction in your sexual life, so you must free yourself from bondage using any means necessary. Absolute freedom and limitlessness exists as the only true modus operandum of Man. If you achieve such liberation, in the literal and not modern sense of the word, others will flock to you; men will aid you in your endeavors, and women will flaunt themselves so as to be desired by you. Do as you like.
 
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delysid

delysid

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No problem. Regardless of whatever you do, you should always listen to yourself above all else, which does not entail selfishness or narrow-mindedness. Conquering and superseding boundaries exists as an integral component, if not the highest expression of masculinity. If you find yourself trapped, then you will never find satisfaction in your sexual life, so you must free yourself from bondage using any means necessary. Absolute freedom and limitlessness exists as the only true modus operandum of Man. If you achieve such liberation, in the literal and not modern sense of the word, others will flock to you; men will aid you in your endeavors, and women will flaunt themselves so as to be desired by you. Do as you like.

Thank you for your words Dave. In practical terms, in my situation, how would you apply what you just said? How would you free yourself?
 

jet9

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I have exactly same issue - first time with new girl i am anxious as hell.

What helps me is supps like:
maca, zinc, theanine, tonkat ali, etc

After first time I am good without them.
 
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delysid

delysid

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I have exactly same issue - first time with new girl i am anxious as hell.

What helps me is supps like:
maca, zinc, theanine, tonkat ali, etc

After first time I am good without them.

Thanks! Yeah I feel that's the thing, getting past the first time
 

Cirion

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To be honest this is why I'm transitioning to mostly only wanting to do karezza. No pressure, no rush, no worries.

Karezza is more enjoyable in my opinion, and you can last much longer too =) In fact last time I did it I didn't even finish, but it felt very enjoyable and it felt like I COULD have finished at any moment so don't get me wrong, it felt good.

Though karezza is more for a LTR/gf/wife because it is a more bonding of an approach. Definitely great for LTR for sure. Probably not ideal if you're just messing around.

My other motivation is I want the "superpowers" from nofap while still in a relationship/dating. I did not like how I felt in the last relationship I had, I felt constantly lazy and unmotivated.
 

jet9

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To be honest this is why I'm transitioning to mostly only wanting to do karezza. No pressure, no rush, no worries.

Karezza is more enjoyable in my opinion, and you can last much longer too =) In fact last time I did it I didn't even finish, but it felt very enjoyable and it felt like I COULD have finished at any moment so don't get me wrong, it felt good.

Though karezza is more for a LTR/gf/wife because it is a more bonding of an approach. Definitely great for LTR for sure. Probably not ideal if you're just messing around.

My other motivation is I want the "superpowers" from nofap while still in a relationship/dating. I did not like how I felt in the last relationship I had, I felt constantly lazy and unmotivated.

I had similar problem (no motivation after sex)

And I more or less fixed it, now often it’s the opposite - I need to release or I can’t focus and too irritable.
 
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To be honest this is why I'm transitioning to mostly only wanting to do karezza. No pressure, no rush, no worries.

Karezza is more enjoyable in my opinion, and you can last much longer too =) In fact last time I did it I didn't even finish, but it felt very enjoyable and it felt like I COULD have finished at any moment so don't get me wrong, it felt good.

Though karezza is more for a LTR/gf/wife because it is a more bonding of an approach. Definitely great for LTR for sure. Probably not ideal if you're just messing around.

My other motivation is I want the "superpowers" from nofap while still in a relationship/dating. I did not like how I felt in the last relationship I had, I felt constantly lazy and unmotivated.

yes I think it is by far the best. I would be doing this if I was single today also. I wish I had known about it when I was 20. I think it is ideal for single men actually.
 
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I forgot to mention I had ED before peating. In all cases of failure all girls have been thinking that it happens because THEY are not attractive or have done something wrong. So dont feel yourself a looser because this creates that vicious cycle.

No fap/no porn real sex only lifestyle creates wonderful performance.
 

Cirion

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I forgot to mention I had ED before peating. In all cases of failure all girls have been thinking that it happens because THEY are not attractive or have done something wrong. So dont feel yourself a looser because this creates that vicious cycle.

No fap/no porn real sex only lifestyle creates wonderful performance.

Yes libido or lack thereof can mess with the brain. I am still unhealthy but when I was healthy my libido was so strong that even women that I normally would consider "unattractive" I found super attractive. And I don't say that to put people subjectively "unattractive" people down. That's a good thing.
 

DaveFoster

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Thank you for your words Dave. In practical terms, in my situation, how would you apply what you just said? How would you free yourself?
I don't know, as I'm not you.
 
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delysid

delysid

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Update: I met another girl, she's fun (and very sexual). Two days ago we chatted and I was going to see her that night. As usual, my heart started pounding, my mind racing, my back super stiff...

I had just ordered Phenibut HCl, so I took 1 gram 3 hours before seeing her. When I got to her place I was extremely calm. I entered her bedroom as absolutely no big deal, which reminded me so much of how I used to behave in these situations –or in other words– HOW I REALLY AM.

We shared a glass of wine, cracked some jokes, with absolutely no rush. We let ourselves create a great connection. We eventually had amazing sex. Not one, but three times with zero ED or PE. Two random times thoughts crossed my mind about "performance" but it just passed so easily. It was already very late (3am), so I did have an excuse of "being tired" or whatever but I never had to. We kept laughing a lot, talking about random stuff, and I even told her about my past "performance" issues and she was super understanding.

In conclusion: I believe there is some great chemistry, but Phenibut is hands down one of the most amazing substances I ever tried. Grateful for liberating me from things that hinder me from expressing who I really am. I'm so comfortable that I won't use Phenibut with her anymore. This is exactly what I wanted, a substance that could help in this way, and have to use it just a handful of times per year.

Bonus: music sounds amazing... mind blowing, and well into the next day. No comedown. Awesome.
 
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delysid

delysid

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I am still unhealthy but when I was healthy my libido was so strong that even women that I normally would consider "unattractive" I found super attractive.

I fully agree with you
 

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