Hi everyone,
I never post on here even though I want to because I am super sensitive and impressionable to any information. I lack confidence and the skills or tools to regulate my emotions. So something written about health or uncertainty can have me spinning for days or weeks, because I can't close the uncertainty or fear that I am not safe. I am on a constant journey of ups and downs with health. I sometimes feel euphoric like I have the information that will finally bring me the confidence that I will no longer be helpless with my health but sadly somehow I find new things to worry about and it hasn't stopped since the age of 5. My first original fear was getting the stomach flu because my family made it seem super dangerous. My whole family was afraid of getting it but for much different reasons than I thought. As I'd find out many years later, they just didn't want it because it was uncomfortable not because it was dangerous.
I have way too much to explain as it's a long story but I'll fast forward to one of my newer fears that I can't seem to close. I am fearful of contracting Hepatitis B and C. I was originally afraid of HIV until I realized how difficult it was to catch and the fact it may not even be a real thing. After I debunked HIV I somehow got stuck on Hep B and C because it was a virus that wasn't killed easily by air like HIV. Apparently it can stay on surfaces for weeks. I don't know what is true and what is not but the fact I don't know and I have all these uncertainties...it keeps me in this constant panic every time I go anywhere or do anything. I don't want to live like this obviously, so I am wanting to reach out to anyone who may know more on this topic and maybe can debunk all these uncertainties. My hope is HIV turned out not to be too scary so I am hoping Hep B and C could somehow be not feared as well. Maybe someone has some perspective on it that I can not find with searching the web.
I'm scared to learn more to be honest because the more I learn about whatever I read on the web, the more easily it seems to accidentally contract Hep B and C. Everyday at some point I run into something that looks red and like blood and I always think it's going to infect me accidentally. I can create all sorts of scenarios that might sound crazy or unrealistic but just knowing it's a possibility keeps me from being able to relax.
I wish I could just live care free and not worry about ever contracting B and C. It won't make my fears all go away because I have many but it would certainly help lower a lot of my anxiety. I have a lot of fears about being helpless and thats why these diseases work really well at making me fearful. I am on constant overdrive and fear mode everywhere I go. I would love to talk to anyone to overcome this fear.
I never post on here even though I want to because I am super sensitive and impressionable to any information. I lack confidence and the skills or tools to regulate my emotions. So something written about health or uncertainty can have me spinning for days or weeks, because I can't close the uncertainty or fear that I am not safe. I am on a constant journey of ups and downs with health. I sometimes feel euphoric like I have the information that will finally bring me the confidence that I will no longer be helpless with my health but sadly somehow I find new things to worry about and it hasn't stopped since the age of 5. My first original fear was getting the stomach flu because my family made it seem super dangerous. My whole family was afraid of getting it but for much different reasons than I thought. As I'd find out many years later, they just didn't want it because it was uncomfortable not because it was dangerous.
I have way too much to explain as it's a long story but I'll fast forward to one of my newer fears that I can't seem to close. I am fearful of contracting Hepatitis B and C. I was originally afraid of HIV until I realized how difficult it was to catch and the fact it may not even be a real thing. After I debunked HIV I somehow got stuck on Hep B and C because it was a virus that wasn't killed easily by air like HIV. Apparently it can stay on surfaces for weeks. I don't know what is true and what is not but the fact I don't know and I have all these uncertainties...it keeps me in this constant panic every time I go anywhere or do anything. I don't want to live like this obviously, so I am wanting to reach out to anyone who may know more on this topic and maybe can debunk all these uncertainties. My hope is HIV turned out not to be too scary so I am hoping Hep B and C could somehow be not feared as well. Maybe someone has some perspective on it that I can not find with searching the web.
I'm scared to learn more to be honest because the more I learn about whatever I read on the web, the more easily it seems to accidentally contract Hep B and C. Everyday at some point I run into something that looks red and like blood and I always think it's going to infect me accidentally. I can create all sorts of scenarios that might sound crazy or unrealistic but just knowing it's a possibility keeps me from being able to relax.
I wish I could just live care free and not worry about ever contracting B and C. It won't make my fears all go away because I have many but it would certainly help lower a lot of my anxiety. I have a lot of fears about being helpless and thats why these diseases work really well at making me fearful. I am on constant overdrive and fear mode everywhere I go. I would love to talk to anyone to overcome this fear.
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