To preface this, at school I was the typical high-achieving pupil driven by strong all-or-nothing perfectionist traits in those areas I chose to put my efforts into. I was high energy and mentally overexcitable, that is, on subjects I found interesting I built up a lot of mental inertia and became intense – still struggle with this. Anyway, at some point, I turned my attention to my own physical health and studied nutrition in my spare time.
Long story short, I found biochemistry very intellectually stimulating – complex systems and lots of unanswered questions that require creative problem solving. I found motivation as my increasing knowledge/awareness compounded existing fears and instilled new ones around food and drink, health in general, that I wanted to avoid. Whilst, my perfectionism motivated me by painting lofty enough, socially-desirable goals that I wanted to obtain – all the while reminding me how far short I fell.
Ultimately, severe orthorexia set in and undereating followed as everything started to look like it had problems with it depending on what I read/who I spoke to. After years of that, I loosened up briefly but quickly got into problems as I veered into bodybuilding thinking I was being healthy. Unfortunately, it was just another home for my orthorexia and perfectionism as exercise and food became regimented.
I now have Crohn’s disease (limited to my colon). This has forced me to rest and take things slowly. I’ve learnt how intolerant my body is of vigorous exercise and how my body reacts to foods/drinks, irrespective of what other people say.
Indeed, I have let go of on an awful lot on the nutrition front and my daily diet, depending on perspective, is the ‘unhealthiest’ it has been for many years. However, my health markers are now normal and mentally I’m infinitely healthier, which I believe has profound physiological benefits.
I must say, I’m not entirely reformed on the mental front, there’s still some yo-yoing. I often get twitchy, think about the biochemistry of it all, get worried I might be doing myself harm and fall back into more restrictive, conventionally ‘healthier’ pattern. Also the lure of some of my old perfectionist health and fitness goals probably lurks in there. However, mostly, it doesn’t last more than a few days or so; I find I become more stressed and unhappy as time passes and I have more GI issues.
This leads me to wonder the following:
Whether our very pursuit of health ends up costing us too much mentally? Whether true mental health can only be found in 'letting go'?
Other healthy populations, such as certain tribes, don't try to be healthy. Their community simply eats and lives in a way from day one that seems to confer benefit. Unlike us, there's no ideals or worries motivating them to be this way or conflicting desires creating cognitive dissonance.
Indeed, it feels in our society the pursuit of health can too readily play to ours fears, vanity and perfectionist tendencies. Something related industries only work to compound through the imagery and narratives they use.
These days I'm certainly concerned by the overly simplistic nutritionalisation – not a word but, hey, hopefully you know what I mean – of food and drink. The sharing of food and drink is an important social ritual, it brings people together and helps them feel connected. Moreover, food and drink is nostalgia and pleasure, it’s an important psychological comfort blanket that protects us from the huge amount of stress life can put on us. All in all, it has a huge complex of benefits beyond its mere nutritional content, which we can easily overlook when trying to work out what are the ‘best’ things to eat and drink.
Long story short, I found biochemistry very intellectually stimulating – complex systems and lots of unanswered questions that require creative problem solving. I found motivation as my increasing knowledge/awareness compounded existing fears and instilled new ones around food and drink, health in general, that I wanted to avoid. Whilst, my perfectionism motivated me by painting lofty enough, socially-desirable goals that I wanted to obtain – all the while reminding me how far short I fell.
Ultimately, severe orthorexia set in and undereating followed as everything started to look like it had problems with it depending on what I read/who I spoke to. After years of that, I loosened up briefly but quickly got into problems as I veered into bodybuilding thinking I was being healthy. Unfortunately, it was just another home for my orthorexia and perfectionism as exercise and food became regimented.
I now have Crohn’s disease (limited to my colon). This has forced me to rest and take things slowly. I’ve learnt how intolerant my body is of vigorous exercise and how my body reacts to foods/drinks, irrespective of what other people say.
Indeed, I have let go of on an awful lot on the nutrition front and my daily diet, depending on perspective, is the ‘unhealthiest’ it has been for many years. However, my health markers are now normal and mentally I’m infinitely healthier, which I believe has profound physiological benefits.
I must say, I’m not entirely reformed on the mental front, there’s still some yo-yoing. I often get twitchy, think about the biochemistry of it all, get worried I might be doing myself harm and fall back into more restrictive, conventionally ‘healthier’ pattern. Also the lure of some of my old perfectionist health and fitness goals probably lurks in there. However, mostly, it doesn’t last more than a few days or so; I find I become more stressed and unhappy as time passes and I have more GI issues.
This leads me to wonder the following:
Whether our very pursuit of health ends up costing us too much mentally? Whether true mental health can only be found in 'letting go'?
Other healthy populations, such as certain tribes, don't try to be healthy. Their community simply eats and lives in a way from day one that seems to confer benefit. Unlike us, there's no ideals or worries motivating them to be this way or conflicting desires creating cognitive dissonance.
Indeed, it feels in our society the pursuit of health can too readily play to ours fears, vanity and perfectionist tendencies. Something related industries only work to compound through the imagery and narratives they use.
These days I'm certainly concerned by the overly simplistic nutritionalisation – not a word but, hey, hopefully you know what I mean – of food and drink. The sharing of food and drink is an important social ritual, it brings people together and helps them feel connected. Moreover, food and drink is nostalgia and pleasure, it’s an important psychological comfort blanket that protects us from the huge amount of stress life can put on us. All in all, it has a huge complex of benefits beyond its mere nutritional content, which we can easily overlook when trying to work out what are the ‘best’ things to eat and drink.
Last edited:
. What works in one field often does not translate well into another...or it translates great. Treating our bodies like we treat our jobs and vice versa is not going to work out well.
