Desperate Here: How To Rapidly Rid One's System Of Marijuana?

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My friend is getting drug tested in a few days and any tips to speed up (or reduce?) the elimination of THC-COOH in the urine would be greatly appreciated. From what I'm reading, this stuff is stored in the fat tissue.

But I don't know whether that means it makes sense to speed the metabolism (to increase mobilization of fatty tissue and thus THC, thereby ridding it from the body) or slow the metabolism (to reduce the mobilization temporarily so as to increase the likelihood of a negative test result). The goal here is just to pass the damn test.

If the "faster metabolism" approach is warranted, I'm prepared to advise tons of caffeine, salt, fructose, and very little fat. I'm open to any other recommendations or tricks.

If we want to slow the metabolism, however, would fasting leading up to the test (or just the day of the test) be the answer? I've heard Peat say that fasting breaks down muscle more than fat. It would seem then that much of the THC would stay put along with the fat stores. I could of course be totally wrong.

Thank you in advance.
 

tara

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Rapid invention of time machine might be useful?
 

CoolTweetPete

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Since there will always be some fat being oxidized (heart, resting muscle) in the body, I would think the latter approach would not work. If my vague understanding of metabolism is correct, which its probably not. :D

I think your friend may be best served attempting to defeat the test rather than the THC at this point. There are drinks for sale online and at local headshops, which have worked for many people I know. I would think it depends on the sophistication of the test though.

While your idea to metabolize all the THC may work, I think it would be leaving too much to chance if your friend needs to pass.
 

Fetch

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I pee for few friends and coworkers to help them pass for work. What we do is I just pee in a little bottle that comes with the fake pee kits because it has a temp gauge on it. Then they stuff it down there pants too keep it warm some of then use a little heater thing you can buy with the fake pee kits. Anyway they just go in and pee in the toilet a squeeze my sample into the test cup and they are good to go it's worked for years. I think they wear two pares of tight underwear to keep it in place for walking around be sure to test it out at home first. Now you just need to find someone with clean piss.

This won't work if it's for probation or like rehab or something because they watch you pee but for like preemployment or whatever they let you go into the bathroom alone.
 

Fetch

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oh yeah and you can use those boot or glove heating packs that you crack and they heat up really quick instead of the heating pad thing if the thermometer says it's cold. Also they are use to people not being able to pee on command so no rush.
 

Tarmander

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Pray for this guy as your tech:

image.jpeg
 

squanch

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Yeah those fake pee kits that @Fetch mentioned are definitely the safest thing. There's a lot of broscience methods out there too, but depending on what the test is for I wouldn't risk it.

Also slightly unrelated:
It's sad that employers actually drug test in the US. You try that in any european country and people would completely freak out. It's not even legal in germany.
 
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You try that in any european country and people would completely freak out. It's not even legal in germany.

Yeah but Europe is a red dictatorship, remember? :cool
 

AlexH

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Supplement with creatine days before The test and on The Day of The test drink lots of water and supplement with alot of b vitamins to make your piss not look so diluted
 
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You can suppress lipolysis with niacinamide :shock:
 

judge

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B3 Nicotinic acid. take as much as you can, as often as you can stand the flush. and then go into a suana during every flush for at least an hour as often as you can. Infra red sauna is best but any heated suana, steam, dry heat, hot jacuzzi will work. Drink a lots of fluids! Everyone's different so adjust to your own limits, but this works fast and is quite popular in the Cannibus world, google it!
 

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