Darkness & Light & Madness

[Rinse & rePeat]

@Rinse & rePeat, I'm really sorry you're currently experiencing stress. I'm glad the lemonade and light are helping with your sleep. It’s hard enough dealing with stressful circumstances, never mind while sleep deprived. I hope your stress lets up soon. My mum died in January. I’ve been caring for people since I was old enough to walk so taking care of my dad comes as second nature to me and isn’t too stressful, plus, he’s only 66 and fairly self-sufficient. It’s just the mental and emotional stress over the actual event of my mum’s passing, and not knowing the true cause of death, that I’m currently working through.

Oh that not knowing is haunting! I am sorry about your situation too. Here we go again running parallel.

 

[Jennifer]

Thank you for that, @Peatness.

 

[Jennifer]

@Rinse & rePeat, haunting, for sure, though, not the most haunting part, unfortunately. You and I do seem to run parallel a lot. I enjoy your company but in this instance, I hope you split-off down a smoother road soon.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

@Rinse & rePeat, haunting, for sure, though, not the most haunting part, unfortunately. You and I do seem to run parallel a lot. I enjoy your company but in this instance, I hope you split-off down a smoother road soon.

No worries, I am on the road God wants me on. I never see bad things as just bad because so much good comes from everything in my life. These things are hard and can get pretty low, but they only make highs stick out more and I gain valuable knowledge from them. My life is a compilation rather than a series of events. I don’t think a life well lived is with only indulgences and good luck. The bitterness from tears adds a complexity to the whole of it. You’re many years of being a caretaker and the responsible one have seasoned” you well, and those things don’t go unnoticed. Your character is apparent just through your writing on the forum. You are a well rounded, good, interesting, smart and positive person Jennifer. Keep up the good work!

 

[Jennifer]

No worries, I am on the road God wants me on. I never see bad things as just bad because so much good comes from everything in my life. These things are hard and can get pretty low, but they only make highs stick out more and I gain valuable knowledge from them. My life is a compilation rather than a series of events. I don’t think a life well lived is with only indulgences and good luck. The bitterness from tears adds a complexity to the whole of it. You’re many years of being a caretaker and the responsible one have seasoned” you well, and those things don’t go unnoticed. Your character is apparent just through your writing on the forum. You are a well rounded, good, interesting, smart and positive person Jennifer. Keep up the good work!

Thank you for your kind words, Rinse. Hopefully, I haven’t misled you or others—I’m not always positive. I hope if people see me as anything, it’s that I’m real. I think it’s a beautiful thing that you have faith in your god like that and can see the value in even the messier parts of life. To circle back to the topic of this thread, it seems to me that we can thrive even in darkness.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

Thank you for your kind words, Rinse. Hopefully, I haven’t misled you or others—I’m not always positive. I hope if people see me as anything, it’s that I’m real. I think it’s a beautiful thing that you have faith in your god like that and can see the value in even the messier parts of life. To circle back to the topic of this thread, it seems to me that we can thrive even in darkness.

I imagine you have your frustrations as
I do, and your being “real” comes across, loud and clear. I just can tell in your texts that you are a patient person because you take the time in your posts with each and every person, while I am a bit hastier without my shorter responses. You have an abundance of understanding too, from your personal experiences, while I come out of mine with more of just a story to tell. You feel” your experiences, while I just get through mine and on to the next.

 

[Jennifer]

@Rinse & rePeat, well thank you. I do try my best to be patient, to be present with people, but trust me, I don’t always feel my experiences, at least not while they’re happening. This is something I’ve consciously been working on for some time now. I don’t know if it’s a coping mechanism I developed as a child to get me through the very adult things I experienced or just my nature, but standard for me has been to set aside my feelings and do what needs to be done in the moment and only when time has passed, and I’m alone, do I process what I experienced. Basically, I cry it out. lol It’s okay if that’s not how you operate. Some people don’t need to feel their experiences, but just live them. I think there’s beauty in that way of being. I’ve just come to realize throughout the years that I’m a sensitive person and need to respect that if I want to thrive in this world.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

@Rinse & rePeat, well thank you. I do try my best to be patient, to be present with people, but trust me, I don’t always feel my experiences, at least not while they’re happening. This is something I’ve consciously been working on for some time now. I don’t know if it’s a coping mechanism I developed as a child to get me through the very adult things I experienced or just my nature, but standard for me has been to set aside my feelings and do what needs to be done in the moment and only when time has passed, and I’m alone, do I process what I experienced. Basically, I cry it out. lol It’s okay if that’s not how you operate. Some people don’t need to feel their experiences, but just live them. I think there’s beauty in that way of being. I’ve just come to realize throughout the years that I’m a sensitive person and need to respect that if I want to thrive in this world.

Perfect! I am the same, I cry it out long after it’s over, in private.

 

[Jennifer]

Perfect! I am the same,

Why am I not surprised?

 

[ironfist]

This thread is quite alluring for me.

I am 41/m/ectomorph/pale.

For most of my life, I have preferred indoors. I quite abhor the summer and heat. I am very SECURE indoors with AC. I begin to experience anxiety when the weather starts to warm because I know the following things are going to happen:

- It's going to get hot and uncomfortable
- people are going to get annoying about how much they love the warmth
- I'm not going to want to do anything until fall

I do not like going outside and sweating. I do not like squinting and not wanting to partake in activities outside because it's uncomfortable.

I do not feel confident in the summer. My social relationships suffer. I don't want to go anywhere or do things.

Every relationship I have had started in the fall when I was SECURE and COMFORTABLE. I make it very clear to women I date, that I am not a summer person, and if you want to go to outdoor events/beach/outdoor things, date someone else.

I am beginning to feel anxiety right now because it is getting hotter outside and I know it's going to be gross for the next few months. I hate this. I do not ever want to do anything in the summer.

I reject most suggestions to do things in the summer because it is uncomfortable. I do not like being outside. I do not like being hot. I do not like feeling gross the moment I step out.

When it is autumn, I will be outside constantly. When there is a cool breeze and it's not hot and sweaty and gross, I will go outside. People say it's cold. I love it.

It does not FEEL GOOD to be outside in the summer because it is hot and nasty. I do not understand how anyone can like this.

If you have to go somewhere, you need to blast the AC in your car. Windows open is the worst. I hate it when people open the windows in their car. That hot wind coming in isn't cooling me off. What is wrong with you?

My pits are swamps. This is gross. Why does anyone like this? And as soon as anyone gets back inside, they just talk about the heat outside. Why??? Yeah, you have to sit down and cool down now because it was gross outside. How does anyone enjoy this? You know what's superb? Fall, when you can go outside, do things, and then come inside and it's still comfortable.

 

[Nomane Euger]

@ironfist i had the same feeling of being less confortable outside when the weather is warm for most of my life,it went away when i was 24 years old and started to eat alot of liver in 2020.I do actually have some symptoms that could be associated with vitamine A deficiency,spring just happened,the warm weather came back,and iam less confortable with the warm weather,i felt better from january to march when there was way less sun exposure,and a colder weather,i assume eating liver will get rid of this background feeling of disconfort like it did in the past

 

[Jennifer]

I don't care much for the heat, either. I was desperate for it, and the sun, when I was sick and underweight, but now that I'm healthy, I'm back to preferring cooler temps and the shade like I did when I was a little girl. This past winter I shoveled snow in a t-shirt and flip flops. I still don't really sweat, though.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

I don't care much for the heat, either. I was desperate for it, and the sun, when I was sick and underweight, but now that I'm healthy, I'm back to preferring cooler temps and the shade like I did when I was a little girl. This past winter I shoveled snow in a t-shirt and flip flops. I still don't really sweat, though.

I didn’ like the heat either until adopting Ray Peat’s principles. The worst was getting in and out of a hot car running errands and getting groceries. In retrospect I can now see it was a stress response to the extreme change in temperature more than it was the temperature. I have no issues now with hot or cold temperatures anymore, as my body self regulates quickly to any situation.

 

[Jennifer]

I didn’ like the heat either until adopting Ray Peat’s principles. The worst was getting in and out of a hot car running errands and getting groceries. In retrospect I can now see it was a stress response to the extreme change in temperature more than it was the temperature. I have no issues now with hot or cold temperatures anymore, as my body self regulates quickly to any situation.

I understand. I never had an issue adapting to heat but I did to the cold, especially when I was climbing mountains in sub-zero temps, so having been able to readapt to New England’s climate enough to shovel snow in summer clothing is a feat for me.

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

I understand. I never had an issue adapting to heat but I did to the cold, especially when I was climbing mountains in sub-zero temps, so having been able to readapt to New England’s climate enough to shovel snow in summer clothing is a feat for me.

Your body has been through a lot with accident. It is a feat that you even survived!

 

[Jennifer]

Your body has been through a lot with accident. It is a feat that you even survived!

This is true. Some days I ask God why. lol

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

This is true. Some days I ask God why. lol

Probably for the same reason I have been through so much in my life, mentally and physically, to learn so I can help others and to build character.

 

[Jennifer]

Probably for the same reason I have been through so much in my life, mentally and physically, to learn so I can help others and to build character.

Sorry, I meant why I’m still here. Some days I wonder…

 

[Rinse & rePeat]

Sorry, I meant why I’m still here. Some days I wonder…

Because you are still needed on this planet :)

 

[ReSTART]

light and darkness yin and yang. the sun (Sun of God, Son of God) in Christianity and moon in Islam (Crescent and Star).