mariantos
Member
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2021
- Messages
- 483
Interesting thread!
I got beaten up a lot by my father from an early age, often unjustifiably. The tools he used were different depending on the circumstances, belts, wooden slats, stick branches, palms etc.
I can say with certainty that this has left its mark on me. I had problems with anger because of this and as such I exploded very often. I had started not to listen to anyone or anything, I was no longer really afraid, and when he came to beat me, I would stop and watch him hit me, I was like a statue, immediately after I finished collecting the beating, I withdrew and cried, but not in pain, because I had not felt it, but in anger, sadness etc.
The adrenaline that was preparing my body even before I was hit proved to be my best ally, every time. After a long time at the end of the beating, I began to feel the pain, which lasted until the bruises healed and gradually diminished as they passed.
These experiences were enough to start disobedience, so I started not spending too much time at home and finding, if I may say so, refuge in certain vices. When he noticed that I was growing up and that nothing could keep me under control, then he stopped hitting me.
However, those experiences have matured me a lot, they have strengthened my character and are an integral part of who I am today. I have never had a warm relationship with my father, but I understand him, he was much more tormented than I was, I know it is not a pretext to justify his actions, but I really understand him.
I forgave him and I love him!
What I want to recommend to the most unhappy of you, who have had similar experiences, are the following: do not hate your parents for what they have done, try to get over it, even if it may be more difficult in some cases, we all enter unprepared the scene of life and therefore life through its amplitude instructs us, the methods differ from person to person.
Some parents were not or are not prepared for this role, while others excel in theory and put things into practice more easily. It depends on what difficulties some have suffered, it depends on how skilled they are in dealing with difficulties etc.
Some have the ability to get over the difficulties they have had in their lives more easily, others are not so lucky and so the atrocities they have witnessed still affect them somehow. Personally, I am not a fan of correction by beating or repeated beatings, they only make the situation worse, I am a special case, but know that others have taken their lives because of such things.
However, I also believe that a slap or two on the bottom with science applied will not do any harm, but will educate.
If the child intentionally makes a mistake, he must be punished in one way or another, it is up to the parent to decide which method to use.
I got beaten up a lot by my father from an early age, often unjustifiably. The tools he used were different depending on the circumstances, belts, wooden slats, stick branches, palms etc.
I can say with certainty that this has left its mark on me. I had problems with anger because of this and as such I exploded very often. I had started not to listen to anyone or anything, I was no longer really afraid, and when he came to beat me, I would stop and watch him hit me, I was like a statue, immediately after I finished collecting the beating, I withdrew and cried, but not in pain, because I had not felt it, but in anger, sadness etc.
The adrenaline that was preparing my body even before I was hit proved to be my best ally, every time. After a long time at the end of the beating, I began to feel the pain, which lasted until the bruises healed and gradually diminished as they passed.
These experiences were enough to start disobedience, so I started not spending too much time at home and finding, if I may say so, refuge in certain vices. When he noticed that I was growing up and that nothing could keep me under control, then he stopped hitting me.
However, those experiences have matured me a lot, they have strengthened my character and are an integral part of who I am today. I have never had a warm relationship with my father, but I understand him, he was much more tormented than I was, I know it is not a pretext to justify his actions, but I really understand him.
I forgave him and I love him!
What I want to recommend to the most unhappy of you, who have had similar experiences, are the following: do not hate your parents for what they have done, try to get over it, even if it may be more difficult in some cases, we all enter unprepared the scene of life and therefore life through its amplitude instructs us, the methods differ from person to person.
Some parents were not or are not prepared for this role, while others excel in theory and put things into practice more easily. It depends on what difficulties some have suffered, it depends on how skilled they are in dealing with difficulties etc.
Some have the ability to get over the difficulties they have had in their lives more easily, others are not so lucky and so the atrocities they have witnessed still affect them somehow. Personally, I am not a fan of correction by beating or repeated beatings, they only make the situation worse, I am a special case, but know that others have taken their lives because of such things.
However, I also believe that a slap or two on the bottom with science applied will not do any harm, but will educate.
If the child intentionally makes a mistake, he must be punished in one way or another, it is up to the parent to decide which method to use.
