Can't Get Attracted To People Anymore

[lampofred]

Ever since I found out how drastically diet and environment shape personality and appearance, I've realized no one is actually unique. Good looks and charming personality mean the person has lived his/her life in a good environment, not that the person is actually a good/unique/special human being. AKA you just lucked out because your mom decided to raise you on butter instead of Crisco. Or you lucked out because you found Dr. Peat.

People who have good personalities simply were exposed to more progesterone and less estrogen over their lifetime, whereas people who are resentful, unconfident, not empathetic didn't receive much love from their parents in infancy. Very little of it is controlled by conscious choice.

People who look good are people who have access to high quality food, whereas people who are not so attractive do not.

Even things like being optimistic in the face of adversity, which people consider to be a choice, is just a function of blood sugar levels.

People might think they are making a choice as to how they behave but the fact is that the feeling comes first and the rationalization comes second, not the other way around as the majority believe.

I think attraction to people is not because of who they are but rather because of the resources they have access to, even though we might not realize it consciously. We don't have innate personalities. We are nothing but reflections of the environment we have lived in.

If someone unluckily grew up on PUFA, then he/she is screwed in so many aspects through no fault of his/her own relative to someone who grew up on butter.

So what's the point? No one is inherently better than or worse than anyone else, we are all the same blank canvas, just painted different colors by the environment, so no one is ever actually worthy of respect or admiration and similarly no one is worthy of disrespect, because they themselves are not responsible for their good/bad qualities, the environment they grew up in is.

 

[Anders86]

You might want to get a more altruistic view then. Give people your direction.

 

[biffbelvin]

On the flip side, if we're a product of our environments, diets and the relationships we have (you missed this one), then we can enact positive long-term changes on ourselves. You don't have to deep fry everything in soybean oil; you don't have to work

That's much more empowering than attributing everything to 'genetics' which is akin to consigning everything to fate.

And yes, we do still have responsibility and autonomy. Environmental conditions do affect us, but they're not absolute. When I get home tired from a long day at the office I can sit down in front of a compute screen and play videogames, or I can sit at the easel and paint. It's much easier to sit down and Veg out in front of a screen, but most of the time I choose to paint, because in the long term it is much more fulfilling.

The misanthropy in your second paragraph is recognisable to me, I find my perspective shifts in that direction from time to time. It's always correlated with periods of social isolation or 'unsatisfying' social interaction. It might help you if you spend some good quality time with old friends or family.

 

[somuch4food]

Good personalities and charisma might have a lot to do with the environment you grew up in, but people will still differ in their interests. Focusing on finding with whom you share similar goals might be better.

Some people are family oriented, career oriented... Some people are builders, others are artists or thinkers and I don't think that changes whether or not you lived in a good environment.

I personnally never was strongly attracted based on looks and appearance alone. I always had to get to know the person better to appreciate what he/she could bring to my life.

 

[ExD]

So what's the point? No one is inherently better than or worse than anyone else, we are all the same blank canvas, just painted different colors by the environment, so no one is ever actually worthy of respect or admiration and similarly no one is worthy of disrespect, because they themselves are not responsible for their good/bad qualities, the environment they grew up in is.

no one is worthy of respect, no one is worthy of disrespect...because of diet.

k... i'd argue respect is subjective and the people i consider the most attractive are those who aren't defined solely by their environment or their diet but transcend them against the odds and stand out against all the rest who don't. if you don't believe they exist, i can understand why you're incapable of appreciating such a thing.

do you feel inherently unattractive? i can't understand how you could not, if you believe as you say and yet need the resources of a place like this...i mean, it suggests you lack the inherent qualities you talk about and are instead hoping to find them here, or perhaps believe you already have?

your last point is also contradictory. you say no one deserves respect because we are entirely products of environment, yet lend no credence to the fact that as a species, we exert more control and influence over the environment than any other organism in the universe.

also if this is a serious issue that is simply a reflection of blood sugar and metabolism etc, maybe cut back on quantifying people as a sum of parts and just manipulate your physiology into a state of blissful acceptance? there is no benefit to reducing people in such a way, even if you believe it is an accurate perspective; that is, if the end result leads you to a fringe site asking for advice about said perspective, i mean...

besides, being attracted to people isn't a pre-requisite for happiness, so i guess i am unsure if this is even a problem for you, or if you are just expressing an opinion :P

 

[Bogdar]

IMO you have the point

However it doesn't prevent "beautiful things" in life like satysfying relationships or anything else from being beautiful and enjoyable at your scale

 

[Pufas Shmoofas]

Even things like being optimistic in the face of adversity, which people consider to be a choice, is just a function of blood sugar levels.

I don't think this is true. I've seen people who grew up on crap diets, horrible conditions, look terrible, probably have high estrogen, etc, etc.. who have strong minds. Mind over matter type of thing. Where one person (maybe healthier) would crumble, another (less healthy) perseveres. They just make that choice and control their minds.

I've seen sick people go on and never complain. Seen healthy people give up and whine. If you try to explain this mathematically through health and diet, that would be trying to intellectualize everything and I don't think we humans know everything. Some people just got some fire burning inside.

I find it amazing and admirable.

 

[Dino D]

check out this video, youre right, but you still sound like you never heard about the concept of determinism... so there is no free will, everything is predetermined...
yea, in a spiritual sense, the ego is an illusion, there is no you, as a person, there is just a set of beliefs memories that you falsely mistake as you (your ego/personality), even those beliefs and thoughts arent what they seem to be, there are not even there but we dont need to go that deep...

your first false illusion and programmed concept/belief is that someone should be special, that you should be special and your one true love maybe also (hollywood movies fairytale) so something should be ,,because it is so special" ... Its not, get over it (paradox=EVERYTHING IS SPECIAL)
what is the point? There is no point, you can create a false point, but you must not, you can do what you want, youre free... point or no point, it is what it is... so what?

No one is inherently better than or worse than anyone else-great... nice basis for unconditional love... for big acceptence of everybody because everybody is like you, in fact everybody is you (non duality)... thats some JESUS level attitude...

everything that you wrote, and had insides, is from the right perspective (of a ,,higher self) beautiful, but from your lover ego mind, and logic on that level, it sounds pessimistic...

Also, yea food and hormones are ,,a strong" force, but dont give them absolute meaning and an ultimate force of ruling everything out... there are other factors/forces, peace

if you want go deeper into The Truth (capital T)... start here https://www.actualized.org/forum/

 

[ShotTrue]

Sound like you have too low estrogen and suffering from anhedonia and lack of empathy and emotion

 

[TheBeard]

Ever since I found out how drastically diet and environment shape personality and appearance, I've realized no one is actually unique. Good looks and charming personality mean the person has lived his/her life in a good environment, not that the person is actually a good/unique/special human being. AKA you just lucked out because your mom decided to raise you on butter instead of Crisco. Or you lucked out because you found Dr. Peat.

People who have good personalities simply were exposed to more progesterone and less estrogen over their lifetime, whereas people who are resentful, unconfident, not empathetic didn't receive much love from their parents in infancy. Very little of it is controlled by conscious choice.

People who look good are people who have access to high quality food, whereas people who are not so attractive do not.

Even things like being optimistic in the face of adversity, which people consider to be a choice, is just a function of blood sugar levels.

People might think they are making a choice as to how they behave but the fact is that the feeling comes first and the rationalization comes second, not the other way around as the majority believe.

I think attraction to people is not because of who they are but rather because of the resources they have access to, even though we might not realize it consciously. We don't have innate personalities. We are nothing but reflections of the environment we have lived in.

If someone unluckily grew up on PUFA, then he/she is screwed in so many aspects through no fault of his/her own relative to someone who grew up on butter.

So what's the point? No one is inherently better than or worse than anyone else, we are all the same blank canvas, just painted different colors by the environment, so no one is ever actually worthy of respect or admiration and similarly no one is worthy of disrespect, because they themselves are not responsible for their good/bad qualities, the environment they grew up in is.

Which is good news: with all what you layed out, you seem to have the recipe to tweek yourself to a better happier person by modulating your diet and your hormones.

Why do you sound so bummed although you figured it out?

 

[ShotTrue]

Which is good news: with all what you layed out, you seem to have the recipe to tweek yourself to a better happier person by modulating your diet and your hormones.

Why do you sound so bummed although you figured it out?

Because he's probably not healthy right now. This sounds like me with too low estrogen, not being able to bond with people or take pleasure in anything

 

[YourUniverse]

I hear you OP, I think along these lines as well. I'm fairly deterministic.

I think empathy to those "less fortunate" and stable blood sugar to optimistically strive towards something elevated are the answers, but Im not sure.

 

[Cirion]

While I agree with the essence of what you're saying, it's best not to dwell on it and instead do exactly what you said (fix environment and diet) so that you yourself can live a blissful life. What you're saying, or at least how you're saying it, stems from an unhealthy mindset. I get it, I've been there, and I'm not 100% well yet myself, but trust me, even though the truth of life remains as you've said it, your perception of it becomes way more balanced and healthier when you yourself are healthy and you stop dwelling on the negatives of life and mostly only the positives at that point. Hypothyroid inherently makes you dwell on the negatives unnecessarily.

My takeaway then is: Don't hate the player, hate the game. And then play the game so you can be the player and then love the game since you're playing it and not a spectator anymore =P

 

[LUH 3417]

I’m not sure if I agree that optimism is a result of blood sugar levels. I really don’t know. Maybe it is. In my experience learned helplessness is definitely biological but having experiences of what a better life could be like also prompts someone to make changes. Even when you don’t have ideal food you can dream. I emailed ray about a book called the continuum concept, that says a lot of what you are saying in your post regarding people being mostly a collection of their environment.
He said

A theory of determinism is built into our culture, so the mothers and/or hospitals that handle babies coldly are taught to see the outcome as normal, producing good soldiers and docile employees or aggressive entrepreneurs. People can be flexible, and can recover from early unpleasantnesses, but as far as the oppressive culture is pervasive and continuing, they choose to think and function “deterministically.” Life, itself is intelligent, and is always ready to break out of the determining continuum of culture.

From the way he writes about it, it gives me a lot of hope for those raised on Crisco or in housing projects. I think all you need is a few really good experiences and better food to completely change the way you see the world and yourself as a person in the world. That’s hopeful.

 

[ShotTrue]

I don't think this is true. I've seen people who grew up on crap diets, horrible conditions, look terrible, probably have high estrogen, etc, etc.. who have strong minds. Mind over matter type of thing. Where one person (maybe healthier) would crumble, another (less healthy) perseveres. They just make that choice and control their minds.

I've seen sick people go on and never complain. Seen healthy people give up and whine. If you try to explain this mathematically through health and diet, that would be trying to intellectualize everything and I don't think we humans know everything. Some people just got some fire burning inside.

I find it amazing and admirable.

This is the best answer right now

 

[Cirion]

I don't think this is true. I've seen people who grew up on crap diets, horrible conditions, look terrible, probably have high estrogen, etc, etc.. who have strong minds. Mind over matter type of thing. Where one person (maybe healthier) would crumble, another (less healthy) perseveres. They just make that choice and control their minds.

I've seen sick people go on and never complain. Seen healthy people give up and whine. If you try to explain this mathematically through health and diet, that would be trying to intellectualize everything and I don't think we humans know everything. Some people just got some fire burning inside.

I find it amazing and admirable.

This is called grit. Grit is not the same as health. I actually have extremely strong grit myself. I survived depression for 30 years and still managed a near 6 figure income job and got a 4.0 GPA in undergraduate school. However, it would be foolish to say I was anywhere near remotely healthy at all. Every day I had anxiety, depression, sometimes even suicidal thoughts, insomnia, no confidence at all, lots of rounds of brain fog, fatigue, and every symptom that comes with hypothyroid. People who are unhealthy might put on a good face but trust me, they have all the symptoms that go with hypothyroid but just might not talk about them.

You absolutely CAN NOT "will away" negative thoughts. I have 30 years of experience that says otherwise. You can choose to brush them aside to SOME degree to get things done, but they'll always haunt you while you have hypo.

 

[tankasnowgod]

Ever since I found out how drastically diet and environment shape personality and appearance, I've realized no one is actually unique. Good looks and charming personality mean the person has lived his/her life in a good environment, not that the person is actually a good/unique/special human being. AKA you just lucked out because your mom decided to raise you on butter instead of Crisco. Or you lucked out because you found Dr. Peat.

People who have good personalities simply were exposed to more progesterone and less estrogen over their lifetime, whereas people who are resentful, unconfident, not empathetic didn't receive much love from their parents in infancy. Very little of it is controlled by conscious choice.

People who look good are people who have access to high quality food, whereas people who are not so attractive do not.

Even things like being optimistic in the face of adversity, which people consider to be a choice, is just a function of blood sugar levels.

People might think they are making a choice as to how they behave but the fact is that the feeling comes first and the rationalization comes second, not the other way around as the majority believe.

I think attraction to people is not because of who they are but rather because of the resources they have access to, even though we might not realize it consciously. We don't have innate personalities. We are nothing but reflections of the environment we have lived in.

If someone unluckily grew up on PUFA, then he/she is screwed in so many aspects through no fault of his/her own relative to someone who grew up on butter.

So what's the point? No one is inherently better than or worse than anyone else, we are all the same blank canvas, just painted different colors by the environment, so no one is ever actually worthy of respect or admiration and similarly no one is worthy of disrespect, because they themselves are not responsible for their good/bad qualities, the environment they grew up in is.

So, you've essentially turned Peat's ideas into Calvinism? Welp, now I've seen everything on this forum.

 

[stsfut]

It sounds like your hormones are off if you are not attracted to anyone. Attraction/libido is something that just happens. If a person has a good diet, genes, personality, etc you will naturally be attracted to them. Sounds like you are too much in your head

 

[PurpleHeart]

I completely disagree... I met unhealthy/ugly people who where extremely clever and i also met dumbass ones...
And the same goes for healthy/beautiful people some are clever some are dumb some are miserable cunts and some are awesome people...

There is nothing in this world that will make you more miserable than putting labels on anything.... If you look at the world through the eyes of a baby
with no labels no judgment just pure observation of the mechanisms of the universe you will see it's beauty.

For example if you met someone with the power to control fire you would be amazed because you would think of it as something magical...
But you know whats even more magical and impressive than that someone decided to create a small device that you can carry in your pocket that you can produce flame with anytime you want and distributed it to everyone at a very small price and we call it a lighter and take it for granted...That's because we focus our attention on the fact that we understand the mechanism behind it which takes the magic away.

Understanding the workings of the universe is essential for the development of our species but it wont bring you happiness...It will give you the ability to influence the universe in some degree...But happiness comes from just being grateful that in an endless universe you had the luck to be loved and love others and experience
millions of things its all a matter of perspective... You could offer me a trillion dollars and immortality and you know what i wouldn't trade a single moment
of me walking on the mountains of my hometown with my dog or a moment of me having a great conversation with my best childhood friend or a hug from my mom for your stupid money and immortality which is enough to prove to me that power cannot bring happiness the only reason why we chase power is because we want power to protect those we love because we fear for their safety be grateful for what you have today because you might not have it tomorrow enjoy life without trying to make sense of everything...We are all probably doomed but we are doomed together and we are all we have.

 

[Dino D]

This is called grit. Grit is not the same as health. I actually have extremely strong grit myself. I survived depression for 30 years and still managed a near 6 figure income job and got a 4.0 GPA in undergraduate school. However, it would be foolish to say I was anywhere near remotely healthy at all. Every day I had anxiety, depression, sometimes even suicidal thoughts, insomnia, no confidence at all, lots of rounds of brain fog, fatigue, and every symptom that comes with hypothyroid. People who are unhealthy might put on a good face but trust me, they have all the symptoms that go with hypothyroid but just might not talk about them.

You absolutely CAN NOT "will away" negative thoughts. I have 30 years of experience that says otherwise. You can choose to brush them aside to SOME degree to get things done, but they'll always haunt you while you have hypo.

,,I feel you"... but do you realy think diet, thyroid and metabolism is all of that... i think such a focus on diet is just an excause of the mind and ego to run away FROM THE REAL CAUSE, and rationalize and obesses about diet... hoping to find happines in diet in health, while the real problem lies within, deep in your self, your traumas, not being truth to who you really are, doing what you really want and love to do, and living your dreams... we depressed our self and our body by being cowards, taking compromises and pleasing society and family, lieing to our selfs just ,,to do the job" and ,,what we have to do" and not what we trully want... thinking about diet 24/7 is just a method of runnig away and distrascing our selfs about the truh... as example, 99% of insomnia is because of mental causes and psyche, yea, maybe you can tweek it with diet and even to the point of deep sleep, but its a hack, not a true direct path... i have sleep problems for 4 years, everyday i look into diet but its not that... i had deep emotional experiencea foolowed with deep sleep or super insomnia, and i would sleep if i would do what I trully want and leave this false system and this ,,lie" that i have to live... but im to weak for that so i look into milk, fat, carbs, meat, red light and other stupid things... and yeeeeeees, sometimes it is the thyroid or hormos, andddd NO, not everybody on this forum has problems that are just from food or metabolism...
An extreme advice would be to take psyhodelics and see the truth 4 ourselfs... but this can go wrong easily... true pychotherapy would let us see clear, and 90% of people here are depressed, anxious, obssesive and hypohondric, also helath hedonists, true life and happines does not give much fcck about diet and bloating, even sleep, we obsses here about thing that trully are not important, not even close...
Im a bit emotional today and i dont like the part of me that spends his life on forums ond so hardly thinking about food, when 95% of the human race does not think about diet at all, and still LIVES, and they live often ,, better then us' peace