MetabolicTrash
Member
I am not sold entirely on the idea of the body and soul being one and one -- or somehow associated at least.
I have lately thought of considering or visualizing my health and state of beings in a similar light though just as a mental challenge.
I wonder what some here think of the idea of a mismatch between the body (animal/instinct) and the spirit (deep thoughts/oneness).
I had been thinking that lately maybe my lack of content comes from an unbalanced sense of both these facets somehow -- like a subpar body for a more "heightened" spirit in my given set of circumstances -- or maybe a battle between the body and the mind as separate but overlapping entities that has maybe shaken and impaired my actual body's health?
Is it not too dumb to think of things along these terms? Any advice/suggestions?
If we assume we are body and spirit, maybe the problem is my body failed to do what my spirit wants? Or maybe my body and what it wants in a sense go against some "deeper purpose" I may want and cannot fulfill, mostly with the "gap" as a stress?
It feels like being stuck in limbo sometimes -- you know what you want but cannot do it or do not want to do it -- or just do not know. Sometimes there is a balance, but other times it is like a chronic background stress that I know while at the same time cannot solve or create a compromise. I do not feel I worry much, but that lately something is just there lurking and throwing me off from the sense of what I am or what I should be/need to be.
Like what should I be? Why? In recent times I felt better not caring, but I was a "dropout" in life -- a "nonmember" largely to the social order and other rules. Should I abide by what most suits me and forget about any needs or obligations? That sounds very challenging to do in a possibly unfit environment and set of conditions.
I know people might tend to suggest meaning and purpose, but it is not that I feel I am worthless or have no meaning or purpose -- just that my understanding and rationality of meaning, purpose and present mix up and cannot form any coherent "final mix" of my sense of self and balance between "states" and well being.
It is a lot like being torn -- energy creates restlessness and anxiety but calm just eases one to imminent motionless and nothingness that acts as a background warning or caution often. It is like I make peace with myself on occasion, but then get lost in limbo and can not see the light or balance. I do not deliberately try to overthink, but knowing begets questioning and what I stand for and many other facets.
I just find it easy to see it as a cross of two systems for the sake of visualizing -- like I am struggling in the animal sense of decay and aging while the spirit tries to sooth and give directions and hope. Imagine a feedback system that goes both ways but always leaves something hanging or incomplete. At times it is like the spirit is right and the body is wrong, and vice-versa.
I am unsatisfied and feel that stress has damaged me and worn or aged me -- but cannot find ways to heal long enough that do not introduce new stressors in the process. I thought simply not caring or worrying would be the key, but even being bliss and carefree sometimes is accompanied by background anxiety at times that even anxiety relief does not always deal with in a remedial sense as sometimes the stress feels necessary.
When trying to force the body one way or another it sometimes seems like a rejection on that angle and possibly even a stressor sometimes -- but also without changing it is like being stuck in a poor state both physically and mentally. I do not take tons of stuff or compounds or anything but have learned and taken it in my hands to understand different states and feelings of general well being. Things have helped tremendously at times in both the "background" senses and the immediate feelings in a more bare and animalistic sense. I am not sure where I get "stuck" though and how I can really solve things though.
Maybe most just pause some aspects of themselves and go with the flow, whereas I consider all degrees of motion? My goal is to ultimately feel good at least most of the time, but in trying to do so it has at times been a paradox, while at others a blessing given mindsets and states of being between different contexts, situations and substance use for metabolic, mental and general health purposes.
Some simply see it as anxiety but I think maybe seeing it as a bare body and a deeper sense of being could necessitate one in understanding and separating concepts of the self and validity, essence and meaning? Again I do not strictly believe these things but feel they could help in a certain light of rationalization in a mental sense more than anything else.
Maybe my body has failed me and I try now to regain spirit, only to fall back to the weak body? Maybe the spirit and the body need proper feedback and nourishment from one another, but I have a broken system between them? The body is weakened and in need of rejuvenation, but the spirit is not providing the right feedback?
Where do I swim tonight? Here I depart as one and in essence I go.
I have lately thought of considering or visualizing my health and state of beings in a similar light though just as a mental challenge.
I wonder what some here think of the idea of a mismatch between the body (animal/instinct) and the spirit (deep thoughts/oneness).
I had been thinking that lately maybe my lack of content comes from an unbalanced sense of both these facets somehow -- like a subpar body for a more "heightened" spirit in my given set of circumstances -- or maybe a battle between the body and the mind as separate but overlapping entities that has maybe shaken and impaired my actual body's health?
Is it not too dumb to think of things along these terms? Any advice/suggestions?
If we assume we are body and spirit, maybe the problem is my body failed to do what my spirit wants? Or maybe my body and what it wants in a sense go against some "deeper purpose" I may want and cannot fulfill, mostly with the "gap" as a stress?
It feels like being stuck in limbo sometimes -- you know what you want but cannot do it or do not want to do it -- or just do not know. Sometimes there is a balance, but other times it is like a chronic background stress that I know while at the same time cannot solve or create a compromise. I do not feel I worry much, but that lately something is just there lurking and throwing me off from the sense of what I am or what I should be/need to be.
Like what should I be? Why? In recent times I felt better not caring, but I was a "dropout" in life -- a "nonmember" largely to the social order and other rules. Should I abide by what most suits me and forget about any needs or obligations? That sounds very challenging to do in a possibly unfit environment and set of conditions.
I know people might tend to suggest meaning and purpose, but it is not that I feel I am worthless or have no meaning or purpose -- just that my understanding and rationality of meaning, purpose and present mix up and cannot form any coherent "final mix" of my sense of self and balance between "states" and well being.
It is a lot like being torn -- energy creates restlessness and anxiety but calm just eases one to imminent motionless and nothingness that acts as a background warning or caution often. It is like I make peace with myself on occasion, but then get lost in limbo and can not see the light or balance. I do not deliberately try to overthink, but knowing begets questioning and what I stand for and many other facets.
I just find it easy to see it as a cross of two systems for the sake of visualizing -- like I am struggling in the animal sense of decay and aging while the spirit tries to sooth and give directions and hope. Imagine a feedback system that goes both ways but always leaves something hanging or incomplete. At times it is like the spirit is right and the body is wrong, and vice-versa.
I am unsatisfied and feel that stress has damaged me and worn or aged me -- but cannot find ways to heal long enough that do not introduce new stressors in the process. I thought simply not caring or worrying would be the key, but even being bliss and carefree sometimes is accompanied by background anxiety at times that even anxiety relief does not always deal with in a remedial sense as sometimes the stress feels necessary.
When trying to force the body one way or another it sometimes seems like a rejection on that angle and possibly even a stressor sometimes -- but also without changing it is like being stuck in a poor state both physically and mentally. I do not take tons of stuff or compounds or anything but have learned and taken it in my hands to understand different states and feelings of general well being. Things have helped tremendously at times in both the "background" senses and the immediate feelings in a more bare and animalistic sense. I am not sure where I get "stuck" though and how I can really solve things though.
Maybe most just pause some aspects of themselves and go with the flow, whereas I consider all degrees of motion? My goal is to ultimately feel good at least most of the time, but in trying to do so it has at times been a paradox, while at others a blessing given mindsets and states of being between different contexts, situations and substance use for metabolic, mental and general health purposes.
Some simply see it as anxiety but I think maybe seeing it as a bare body and a deeper sense of being could necessitate one in understanding and separating concepts of the self and validity, essence and meaning? Again I do not strictly believe these things but feel they could help in a certain light of rationalization in a mental sense more than anything else.
Maybe my body has failed me and I try now to regain spirit, only to fall back to the weak body? Maybe the spirit and the body need proper feedback and nourishment from one another, but I have a broken system between them? The body is weakened and in need of rejuvenation, but the spirit is not providing the right feedback?
Where do I swim tonight? Here I depart as one and in essence I go.
Last edited:
